Symphony of grief and hope
by MeredithvL
Summary: The epic battle has come to an end. Or hasn't it? Commander Shepard had yet another vision... and this one was more terrifying than all she had since Eden Prime. Post Mass Effect 3, before the Extended Cut was out. Sort of IT but not quite. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Rating changed to M from chapter 20, for violence and adult themes. No lemons.
1. Ch 1: Starchildren know how to lie

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or have any rights to representation of Bioware, EA Games and any other mass media trademarks within this fiction. Characters belong to Bioware. All is represented within the context of private entertainment.

**About the rating**: This story used to be rated T, mainly because of the things I left implicit and not fully described. However chapter 20 came out a little violent and I don't want to change it. The good news is that I'll have a little more freedom to write. The bad news is that young teen readers should stop right now, but you shouldn't have played the games either. :)

**Notes**: This story takes place after Mass Effect 3 original ending, before the Extended Cut was released* (it contains obvious spoilers) but it also expands Commander Shepard's past. A few things happened "off camera" to Shepard during the story arch of ME1, ME2 and ME3, but nothing in the story arch is changed.

It features FemShep (Melody Shepard), Garrus Vakarian, many cannon characters, and a few non cannon.

I'll post a new chapter every week or every two weeks.

Chapter 1 to 8 are updated with corrections. Thank you _S3eK_ for helping me with those chapters!

Chapter 9 to 12 are also updated, thank you _X-Shadow. of .Darkness-X_ for your help!

For the rest, keep in mind that I try my best, but English is not my first language.

I'm writing other stories that offer details about this one, check my profile if you're interested.

Reviews and feedback are very appreciated!

* * *

Chapter 1: Star-children know how to lie.

Muffed sounds made their way to her ears, yet her mind was too befuddled to place them. She tried to inhale one more time. It was excruciating. All her body, from head to toe, was screaming with pain, but she could not utter a word. She fought to gather the pieces of her mind, to collect the remains of her strong will, and then she realized her life hung by a slim thread. She stared at death, exhaled, and made the decision to punch her in the face.

The soldier tried to open her eyes, and found herself unable to do that. She had no idea of where she was, or why did she feel something heavy on top of her. Terror took a very solid shape in a corner of her brain, and a sentence, spoken in a gloomy voice, passed through: _"I will destroy you if I have to"_. The rest of her immediately reacted in rebellion. _"You cannot destroy me."_ she thought. _"You should fear me!"_

Slowly, the noises that made a staccato vibration around her started to make sense. They were sounds of war, which meant it wasn't over. Was it all a vision, a hallucination? Her reason stepped in, timidly at first, increasing pace moments later. Of course there wasn't a star-child, how could she ever believe such a thing? She made an effort to remember all that had happened, all she had learned ever since she had first started chasing a rogue turian Spectre named Saren. She recalled the colonists back on Eden Prime, talking about the noises that seemed to get straight inside one's skull, reverberating across their skulls. She had heard those noises many times, and found out a lot more about the Reapers, about how they worked, about the indoctrination process.

"_Wait a minute…_" she thought, forcing herself to identify what thoughts had really been her own, and after intense concentration she realized that not all of them had been. But then, it could only mean... had Harbinger... tried to indoctrinate her? Rage filled her, and at that very moment she remembered what she really saw when the conscience of the Reaper connected with hers. She gasped when she realized that she understood now the pattern of dark energy that connected them all. Stupid overconfident machine; it was so sure it would win, that it let her come too close, forgetting that she had had contact with advanced prothean knowledge. However, she shivered when she recalled the other truth she inferred from their patterns.

She forced herself to move. Her eyelids rose, revealing her ocean blue eyes. She noticed the debris covering her, the weight pressing her down, and purposely ignored the drying blood on her skin. With a great effort, she pushed some of the lightest debris, just enough to reach for some medi-gel, and apply it on her most vital wounds. She knew that if she was going to make it, she would have to receive actual medical care, but for the moment that wasn't important. She realized her condition rendered her too weak to realign the patterns of dark energy herself, but she had to survive enough to tell them, to pass the knowledge organic life needed to stop the slaughter.

The radio was emitting static noise, but she brushed away despair with a slight gesture of her hand. She opened an emergency channel and tried to talk, however all she could say was "I..."

"Shepard?" the familiar voice of Anderson replied.

She grimaced from the pain of her accumulated injuries and murmured, "Andrrss..."

"Hang in there. We know where you are, we're coming for you."

Years passed in her mind, all her thoughts focused on staying alive. Finally the vehicle arrived, and Alliance soldiers came out. They removed the Commander from the debris, and loaded her into the transport. An Alliance field doctor removed her armor and started treating her wounds, but her gaze was fixed on Anderson, standing next to her.

"Anderson..." she managed to whisper a while later.

"Don't try to speak, Shepard," he interrupted her. "The Crucible still resists. We developed a new strategy to reach the conduit, and we're going to implement it."

"Listen!" she demanded. Even in her delicate state, her voice distilled leadership, compelled others to obey her. "Panel. Tunnel... under... Presidium... "

"Did you see something? Had any kind of vision?"

"Yes. Dark... energy..." she paused, realizing she didn't know how to explain the patterns she saw. "Must... draw..." she said finally.

Anderson improvised something she could draw on, and handed it to her. She sketched the presidium rapidly, and marked the entrance of the tunnel with a cross. Then she drew some strange patterns and unfamiliar signs all over them. The drawing was indecipherable, nevertheless he nodded.

"We will try to make sense of this. I promise," he told her.

"Reapers... all... galaxy... not..." she whispered, but couldn't continue. She coughed blood.

Anderson put a hand over her shoulder. "We will make it, Melody," he said, calling her for her first name, something he never had done before.

She passed out.

* * *

*If you really want to know, I sort of liked the EC. I'm not sure if I would have started this story if the EC had been the original ending for ME3, but in a way I'm glad it wasn't. I have big plans for this story. Now it's part of an alternate universe, but I have no problems with that. Mass Effect was about decisions and alternate paths, different outcomes from different choices.

This story will not include what happened in Leviathan, Omega or Citadel DLCs. I played them all, but I started the story after the original ending, and it's all outlined. Including that content would mess with my plans. :)


	2. Ch 2: That was then, this is now

Chapter 2: That was then, this is now.

The Commander was alone, in darkness. Vaguely could she feel her pulse, faint, faltering, threatening to abandon her. _"Don't surrender,"_ she said to herself, and her mind drifted away.

* * *

The little girl worshiped her mommy. She was probably three or four years old, and mom was supervising her solving a somewhat complex puzzle for her age. The dim light of an Alliance station bathed them, but the little girl was used to it. She hadn't really seen the kind of light most humans called "natural" at that point in her life.

Eventually, she became frustrated with the puzzle, and tossed the pieces away. "You must never surrender, Melody," Mommy said, as she stood up to collect the pieces. "If you fail at first, you try again until you succeed. If you surrender, you've failed already." Hannah Shepard placed the pieces in front of her little daughter. "You can do this. You can do anything you want, if you try hard enough."

Melody tried another time, and yet another, until she finally managed to solve the puzzle. Her mother smiled. "You see? Nothing is impossible; it's just that some things are harder than others. I'm so proud of you." The little girl smiled back.

* * *

Pain. It was unbearable, so much that she had a sudden wish that she could tear out parts of her body, just to stop them from sending signals to her brain. She couldn't move, or speak, or even open her eyes. Her consciousness faded away.

* * *

"I didn't realize the planet was so big that you could actually stand on it," she said to her father, and he laughed. It was her first day of school, and also the first time her little feet touched the surface of the colony where the Shepard family was stationed in that year. She was, understandably, excited about the experience. Most of the other students were also children of Alliance soldiers and officials, and only a few were born in the colony.

Her mother crouched to checked on her school uniform. "Remember what I told you." she said.

"Yes, mom." replied Melody. "Be nice and friendly, but don't let other children bully you. Always stand up for yourself." she repeated, like she was reciting some kind of mantra.

"Hannah, she's not a soldier, she's just a little girl," her father said. He wasn't a fan of the way his wife always seemed to be pushing their little daughter. For him, Melody was his little angel, the light of the Sun itself shining again in front of his eyes.

"I know who she is," Hannah responded, as she stood up. "But you have to remember that most of her schoolmates are sons and daughters of soldiers, just like her. I just don't want them to take advantage of her."

He looked at Melody, and told her: "Then, remember to be nice and friendly. You don't want to take advantage of other children, it wouldn't be fair."

"Yes, daddy!" she replied, and went running to gather with the other students.

* * *

Something, someone, bent over her. She couldn't see it; she just felt the air change around her, like when someone comes up behind you and you get that feeling on the back of your neck. She wanted to scream.

* * *

"Why do I have to go to a different school, mom?" she asked.

"Because your father and I were assigned to another colony, Melody, and we can't just leave you here. We would be too far away from each other."

"But... mom!" she complained. "All my friends are here. Dana's father promised to take me to the green lake for my eighth birthday, and now it's only three weeks away, and you can't..."

"Sometimes you have to do what you have to, like it or not," interrupted Hannah. "I will find a moment to take you to the green lake before we go, I promise." She paused. "I know you will miss Dana, and all your other friends, but you can always write to each other and send vids. Think of this as an opportunity, you will make a lot of new friends, and you don't have to lose the friends you have here. You just won't see them every day."

She tried to argue, but it was pointless. In the end, she had to travel with her parents. And, in the end, her mother was right; she did add friends to her life.

* * *

There was no end for the torment; each cell of her body had something to warn her about. Or perhaps she had died already, and she had spent the last few centuries burning in hell. She was never a religious person, but that didn't stop a million demons to chew on her flesh. She was trapped in her suffering for a great deal of time, or time had stopped altogether.

* * *

The girl walked with determination towards her parents, who were sitting together sharing a cup of coffee. She knew her father wouldn't like what she had to say, nevertheless that didn't hold her back. They had to listen, and she supposed her mother would understand.

"Dad, mom... I need to talk with you," she started, her tone almost solemn.

"What is it, Melody?" her mother asked, offering her a chair. She sat.

Her father looked at her with a terrified expression. His skin turned pale and cold. She looked back at him.

"No, dad, your sweet Melody isn't on red sand. She's not pregnant, either." she added, with a laugh that he didn't share. He'd always called her sweet Melody while she was a child; it was like a thing between them. However she wasn't little anymore, she was about to turn fourteen. "It's just that... I spoke with captain Plymouth, and she says I could get admitted in Eagle Alliance Academy. She believes I qualify for a full scholarship."

"Are you sure-" Hannah started, but she was interrupted by her husband.

"Of course she's not sure. She is just a child." He stared at his daughter. "Melody, that school is only for kids that are intent to have a military career. It's very hard."

"Oh, daddy, thanks for the info. I thought it was a culinary school," she quipped sarcastically, her blue eyes glaring, defiant.

"Enough already, the two of you," her mother said. She looked at her child. "EAA would sure give you a head start if you want to join the Alliance later, but... is it something you really want to do, for yourself, and not because of our profession? Don't mind scholarship, we can send you to a very good school as it is."

"Mom, dad, look at me, and tell me if I lie: I am joining the Alliance as soon as I can, and there's nothing you can say or do that could stop me. I won't change my mind, because this is not something I decided while combing my hair. This is what I wanted for years, and I sincerely hope you support me. I know that you love me and will always do what is right for me."

Her father looked down. "I can see you are decided... but EAA is on Earth, and we'll hardly ever see you if we send you there, not to mention life on the Alliance is hard. And dangerous."

"That didn't stop the two of you from choosing it, even when it meant being separated for months at a time, sending me to a different school each year, and having to face a lot of other difficulties. This is the life you love, and I won't apologize for loving it too. Danger, you say? You taught me to take care of myself. And I will sure miss you too, but you raised me to be independent, to choose my own path. I really, really want this."

"And this is the moment when a mother realizes she doesn't have a little daughter anymore, and she was replaced by a teen," Hannah joked. "I think your father and I have to talk about this, and we will let you know later."

"Of course, mom." Melody got up, and left them alone so they could discuss, but in her mind, she was sure they would let her go to that school.

* * *

Very slowly, over the course of time that seemed to span years, her pain diminished. She still couldn't open her eyes, but she noticed she was definitely healing, or the demons were growing tired with her. Someone was with her, but she didn't know who. Someone friendly, that much she could tell.

* * *

She grabbed a scissor with one hand, all her brown brilliant hair with the other, and trimmed it shoulder length. Then she held it all in a tall ponytail, and put on the blue uniform of Eagle Alliance Academy.

The Shepard family had been on Earth for a week, on shore leave, and that was the first day of school for Melody. She was radiant with joy. She verified the room to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything, grabbed her luggage, and exited.

She found her mother in the corridor of the hotel. "Did you cut your own hair?" her mother asked, eyebrow quirked in curiosity.

"Yes, mom. Why?"

"You could have asked me to do it..." Hannah said.

"It'll grow back and you won't be around, so I figured it was better if I did it myself..." Upon saying those words, she realized she would be apart from her parents for very long times, and impulsively, she hugged her mom tight. Up to that point, she hadn't been always with both her parents, because they sometimes were deployed to different locations, but she had always had at least one of them around. Now she was entering the academy of her dreams, but it also meant she wouldn't have any weekend leave.

"OK. Let's go, your dad is waiting downstairs," the mother said, and they both took the elevator, and then a cab drove them all to the academy.

They had a lot to study, and the training was hard, as her father had anticipated. By the end of the second week, six students had already asked to be transferred to another school. The ones that remained made fun of them, but Melody Shepard didn't join. She believed it was cruel and pointless to mock someone because he or she had found that they didn't want a future in the military.

The second Friday since she arrived, she received a message from one of her trainers, Major Emilio Salas, telling her to go to the training ground first thing on Saturday. The major was probably in his late forties, had a limp and many scars, but he was a war hero with a lot of medals. His physical condition prevented him from remaining in active service, but his expertise in war techniques and close combat made him a valuable asset to teach the younger generations. He was widely admired in EAA, and outside of it.

When she reached her destination, she saw other three kids from her class coming, and several older kids standing around, chatting. Major Salas appeared, and all of them, including herself, formed and saluted. He ordered the older students to start running, and addressed the younger four.

"Each year," he started, "I watch all the new students during two weeks, and decide which of them are the four with the most potential, the four most dedicated. I always select two boys and two girls. To these students, the four of you this year, I offer the option of attending to my special training course during weekends. You'll learn tactics that I have no time to teach all the other students, but you'll have to work your assess off. If you need your weekends to rest, or to catch up with your theoretical subjects, this course is not for you. You can, of course, decline entering, or leave at any time, but there's no coming back if you go. Know also that I do not select different students the same year if some of the four, or even all of them, decide not to take the course. Are we clear so far?"

"Sir, yes sir!" the four kids chorused, backs ramrod straight.

"Good." he nodded. "These are the rules: You don't come late unless you have a damn good reason, and you don't skip a weekend unless you're seriously ill. You don't complain of being tired; you'll be given moments to rest, so you better rest during those times. Any questions?"

A month later, Shepard was the only student from her class to attend Major Salas' course, as she did during all the time she spent on EAA. Some students envied and resented her for that, but others secretly admired her. She didn't think of herself as a pretty girl, with her heart shaped face and freckles, but she had a lot of invitations out from boys, and even some from girls. She rejected them all; her mind was set on an entirely different goal. Melody laughed to herself when people said she was nearly a machine; she knew who she was interested in, she just wished he could see her the way she saw him. Never a soul heard of this, her biggest secret.

Four years later, instead of preparing for attending to the prom ball, she was filling forms in the Alliance recruitment office.

She would have looked ridiculous in a gown, anyway.

* * *

Pale white light bathed her eyes as she half-opened them. The pain was gone, but she felt weak and confused. She noticed that she was lying in a bed, and that someone was sitting in a chair next to her. A turian, her brain recognized, and she knew his name. Her lips moved into a slight smile.

"Garrus..." she whispered.

The turian jumped off the chair, dropping the datapad he had been reading. He stood next to her bed, his eyes fixed on the Commander's face, his hand distractedly caressing her cheek.

"Shepard!" he exclaimed with joy. "Damn stupid doctor who said you wouldn't wake up, he might know medicine but he doesn't know you..." He paused, realizing that she wasn't aware of what had happened. "You where in a coma for five months... but we did it, Shep! Whatever it was that you told Anderson, it destroyed the Reapers!"

Hurtful memories rushed to her. She recalled the dark energy patterns, although they weren't so clear now in her mind. And she remembered the other awful fact she learned from that vision. Her face transformed into a mask of horror and anxiety.

"Garrus... I didn't see the rest of the patterns... the ones I drew worked only for this galaxy's Reapers!"


	3. Ch 3: Never to be held back

Chapter 3: Never to be held back.

"What do you mean, 'this galaxy's Reapers'?" The tone of Garrus was serious, depleted of all the enthusiasm it had upon Shepard's awakening from coma.

The Commander closed her eyes and took a deep, long breath. Then, she opened them again, and with effort she sat straight up in bed. She felt dizzy, and when she finally spoke, there was a mix of sorrow, urge and a little despair in her voice. "I saw... I really don't know what anymore, but I didn't see it when I did. I saw it later. Rather, I understood it later... I'm sorry, I know I'm not making sense."

"Take your time," Garrus said, approaching his chair and sitting next to her.

She shook her head. In one movement, she unplugged the catheter from her arm and left the bed. "I need to get out of here," she said. She was wearing only a short hospital gown.

"I don't think you should-" he started, but interrupted himself when she fell soundly to the ground after two steps. He got up and tried to lift her with both arms, to carry her to the bed again, but she pushed him.

"If you're gonna help me, then help me, Garrus. Five months, did you say? The last thing I wanna do is go back to that bed. It's..." she paused, her tone acquiring a low-pitched tone "Cerberus all over again."

"Well, it's not the same," he commented, "you weren't technically dead this time... but I get it. I'll get you the hell outta here alright."

At that moment a nurse entered the room, alerted by the noise Shepard made when she fell. Garrus addressed him: "Yes, thanks for coming, she's gonna need her clothes. You know, her N7 hoodie and pants."

"I can't do that," the nurse said. "A doctor needs to discharge her from the hospital first."

"Then go and bring doctor Chakwas," Garrus replied. "And her clothes."

The young human nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

"Chakwas is here?" Shepard asked.

"Where else would she be?" replied Garrus. "With all the wounded Alliance soldiers, and you in this hospital... mind you, she was the only doctor who said you'd make a full recovery, and sooner than anyone expected."

"Of course. It's just that..." she paused. "I had this hallucination. The mass relays had exploded, and the Normandy was stranded in some random jungle planet, and you were there, far away from me." once again, she shook her head. He helped her to get on her feet, and then to sit on the chair he was using a moment ago. He sat on the bed.

"Well, about the mass relays... they overloaded with dark energy, whatever that means, and are gone. But don't worry about it right now. We'll talk about what happened later."

"So, that part wasn't a lie," she paused for a moment, and then suddenly added. "Garrus, I don't want **this **to be the hallucination. I so desperately want you to be here, I want to be alive and awake and-"

"You are," Garrus interrupted her. "I'm here, I have been here ever since they brought you, maimed, fighting for your life when there was almost no hope. I might have sounded crazy to everybody else when I told you all the news, not knowing if you could hear me, telling you how the geth helped to rebuild..."

"The geth," she said. "Are they... all right?"

"Some people think they're not, you know, being synthetic life and all. But you believed in them, and so do I because of it. They are very grateful to you."

"And EDI?"

"She's fine. Still with Joker. I hope they're not planning on having children, though," he said as he scratched at the back of his neck. "That would be weird."

Shepard laughed softly. "Yeah, weird, says the turian who wanted a little junior with the human. Not your finest joke, Vakarian."

"Yeah," he replied.

"And Tali? Oh, and... what are you eating?"

"Tali is fine, she'll be excited to see you. So will be Liara, Wrex and Kaidan. Javik not so much perhaps, but at this point I'm starting to believe that the protheans, busy as they were with all their advances, forgot to research the concept of friendship." She laughed softly. "Oh, and food," he continued. "At first I had to content myself with the crappy Normandy's supplies, but now we're eating only fresh and high quality dextro food, thanks again to the geth and the hydroponic farms they helped building. I'm gonna miss that, when the Normandy is repaired and for some reason you decide she has to fly again, but right now, fixing ships is not a priority. People are using resources for housing and providing for basic needs."

The door opened, and in came doctor Chakwas and the male nurse who had entered before, carrying the Commander's clothes.

"Oh, I can see you're awake, Commander," the doctor said to Shepard.

"Doctor," she saluted. "I could hug you, but only if you tell me I can leave this place. It's not that I'm ungrateful for fixing me and all, but I'm done here."

"Normally," said Chakwas "I wouldn't recommend a patient to be discharged so soon after waking from a coma, but I know you better than trying to stop you. You can hug me now."

Melody Shepard got up, hugged the doctor, and took her clothes from the nurse's hands. She started changing right there, to the shock of the nurse that couldn't help himself from staring in a very inappropriate manner. Garrus tapped the man's shoulder with one of his sharp talons, and gave him a reproachful look. The nurse muttered an apology and left the room in a hurry.

The Commander needed to lean on the turian for walking when they left her hospital room. He grabbed her by the waist and led her out at whatever pace suited her, however slow. She couldn´t help noticing how crowded the facility was.

"Five months later, and there are still so many wounded?" she asked.

"Well, yes and no," Garrus said. "I guess there are still many patients that were injured on the Reapers' attack, just like you were, but the rest are sick, or wounded for other reasons. It's just that-"

"There aren't so many hospitals," she completed.

"You got that right," he paused. "So... where would you like to go? If you're hungry, I recommend a restaurant across the street. They serve dextro and levo food, and it's actually pretty good, drinks are on me. Or I could take you to the Shepard Park-"

"What?" she interrupted. "How dare they name a park after me? I'm not dead yet!"

"Or," Garrus continued, ignoring her remark, "we could go to a house the geth built for the two of us. I haven't been there myself yet, so I really don't know how it looks like. Of course, I can find another place to live, if you're not comf-"

"So, the geth built a house for you and me, huh?" She didn't let him continue, but this time she sounded amused. "I don't know if I should be honored or scared, but again, we are talking about a race that couldn't tell the Normandy from the Normandy's crew, so it's quite an advancement that they didn't try to accommodate all the crew in one place, and actually figured you and me have something going on... we still do, right?"

"I sure hope so, because I normally don't sleep in hospital couches for five months in a row waiting for 'just friends' to wake up, no matter how close," he stopped, held her in his arms, and kissed her like she'd taught him humans do.

"I love you," she whispered.

"So... home, then?" he ventured.

"Home... I guess I'll have to get used to the sound of it. Sure, take me there, Garrus."

It took them some time to find a cab, not only because there were fewer of them, but because the people who recognized Shepard, wanted to talk to her or take pictures with her. Some veterans clapped as she passed by, still held by the turian. She was overwhelmed, but just didn't have the heart to tell them she felt weak and needed some rest. They were survivors, just like her, and they fought for the destiny of the galaxy, as she did. Garrus stepped in and told them she would visit the hospital later. Eventually they were en route to their new house.

From the outside, their home didn't look at all like the rest of the buildings on the block. It had a strange shape, geometrical and almost whimsical.

"Huh, I should have come to check this place sooner," Garrus said. "I hope it's at least livable." he added, as he opened the door.

They entered, Shepard still leaning on her turian boyfriend. On the inside, the place looked a lot like an Alliance station; however Garrus recognized many turian elements and decorations. There were also two coaches similar to the ones Shepard had in her cabin on the Normandy, in what appeared to be the living room. He helped her sit on one, and then took a place next to her.

"Not so bad," he commented.

"Swallow your words, Garrus, you owe them an apology," she told him.

"I guess I do," he agreed.

She relaxed on the couch, and finally fell asleep. He got up and communicated with the rest, telling them the good news, but warning them she might still be too weak to receive a lot of visitors.

When she woke up, she asked him for something to drink. He searched the cupboard, and found many non perishable products. He offered to prepare her some coffee, but she actually had to explain him how to make it, from her couch. Then he brought her a steaming cup, and sat next to her.

As she took a sip, she said, "Garrus, I just noticed that you didn't mention James Vega when you told me what happened to the crew."

"Ah, yes... huh... sorry, he didn't make it."


	4. Ch 4: Catching up

Chapter 4: Catching up.

"Tell me what happened. I need to know it all," Shepard requested.

"Are you sure? Right now?" Garrus said, doubtfully.

"Yes. I can handle it." She was lying of course, but the anxiety of not knowing was even worse. "I'll tell you what I remember afterward."

"Alright then. Well, while you were running for the conduit, I was coordinating one of the support teams. Then I heard on the comm link that no one made it to the beam, that our entire force was decimated..."

"You thought I was dead," she said.

"Yes. But you know I would have never let you die in vain," he expressed. "We regrouped. Anderson came out with another strategy, and we were set in motion. I didn't know, until later, that you were still breathing in there. My team was in charge of bringing down the Reaper that stopped you. Our inspiration was you... and Rannoch. You see, Commander, your madness wasn't left unnoticed."

"Good," she stated.

"And that was when the Normandy got wounded, as Joker says. You see, your crazy pilot crossed all the enemy forces to give us ground support in taking down the Reaper, it was a miracle that he made it so far or that they didn't crash upon reaching Earth."

"If someone could pull that off, that's Joker, to be sure."

"Yeah, I guess the guy and EDI make a good team after all. Apparently the modified IFF protocols helped a lot," he paused. "Anyway, Anderson and his team managed to get up there, to the Citadel. Minutes later, its arms opened, just as I learned that you were alive, barely. The field doctor who was attending you, told us about the patterns you drew. Anderson had taken them."

"And then what happened?" she asked, trying to keep on hold her anxiety.

"Well, the Citadel got red and shiny, and then I swear, the Reapers and their ground forces went puff. I don't know how else to describe it. One minute they were there, and the next they were all gone. Scientists said they 'suffered molecular disintegration.' Just like that, Shepard."

"I see," she nodded, thoughtfully, and then added, "I sort of have a name, you know."

"Oh, yeah..." Garrus sounded embarrassed, like he had been missed a big angry elephant in the room for the past three and a half years. He scratched at his nape, between one of his natural armor plates. "Sure you do, and it's actually a very nice name, Melody. It's just that... I got used to..."

"Of course," she smiled to him, and reached out to hold his hands. "No problem, Garrus, but it actually felt kinda weird when you kept calling me 'Shepard' in bed..."

"Won't happen again," he remarked.

"So, 'molecular disintegration'?" she asked, returning to the previous subject.

"That's right. Nothing was left of them."

"And what about the Reaper codes the geth used to improve themselves?"

"For some reason, nobody really knows why, the disintegration didn't affect Reaper based tech, as long as it was integrated with another kind of technology. Yes, it is a question a lot of people are asking themselves," he paused. "However, all across the galaxy, the Reapers disappeared, system by system. About the mass relays, well, I told you already they overloaded and got destroyed, but they didn't explode like the one on Bahak. A lot of people, me included, believe that we have your patterns to thank for it."

"What about Anderson?" she asked.

"He... didn't manage to get out of the Citadel on time. He died a hero."

"That should have been me up there..." Shepard said in a deep voice. A profound expression of grief dominated her features. Her eyes looked down.

"Melody, look at me," he told her, and she complied. "You did it, you saved us all, I do believe so. Anderson believed in you, up to the last moment, and I'm sure he wouldn't have liked it if you felt guilty for surviving. He sacrificed to give everybody else a chance, just like you were willing to do, just like we all were. I'm glad you made it not only because of what you mean to me, but because the galaxy still needs you. You're a peacemaker; I told you that already on the Normandy. Right now… people are too happy about being alive to bring back old grudges, but tensions are slowly arising among the different races fleets stationed on Earth, and it'll take a... you, to put everyone back in order again."

She nodded, slightly. Melody Shepard's method of dealing with strong emotions was pushing them back for later, and it was taking a toll on her. The bill was getting too large to pay off. She took all her regrets and self-reproaches about Anderson's death, and did what she new best; she postponed them to deal with. However, she had to admit herself this time that she didn't know for how long she'd be able to put it off.

"Only quantum entanglement communication works now," he continued. "Luckily all homeworlds and most of the important colonies had the devices installed, so the council can be rebuilt. They are working on that already. Kaidan Alenko is organizing all the meetings and discussions."

"Look at him... he's into politics, now?" she commented.

"Second human Spectre, he served on the Normandy... he became a symbol," he said. "Not to mention, he learned from the best. From me, of course," he joked. "Anyway, it's good to have a friend up there dealing with all the nasty, maybe he'll make things go right this time."

The Commander nodded, intent on never telling the turian about her lunch meeting with Alenko on the Citadel, when the human confessed he had feelings for her. She recalled Kaidan seemed upset when she turned him down, even mentioning that it was not the answer he was hoping for, and she had thought "_Honestly, Kaidan, what were you hoping for? That I would just leave Garrus, the man I trust most in this galaxy, that went with me to hell and back, for yet another guy who doesn't believe in me?_" but she had kept it to herself. The two persons who claimed having the strongest feeling for her, were just too busy or too distrustful to accompany her to the collector's base, therefore she couldn't help feeling good with herself for having rejected them both on board of the first Normandy, albeit she had had other reasons at the time.

"Yeah. After all that happened, friends are a good thing to have," she simply said.

"Sure," he replied. "Anyway, where was I?"

"Quantum entanglement comm," she told him. "What have you heard about your people?"

"Well, many civilians on Palaven retreated to less populated areas, and they survived. The evacuated are in the colonies. Had the Reapers not be defeated when they were, and-"

"Don't think about it," she whispered. "So, calling back the fleet was a good call, after all."

"Yeah. I heard from my family, they're fine."

"Good to know."

"They're not so happy about... you and me, though," he admitted. "Don't get me wrong, they totally admire Commander Shepard, like everybody else in the galaxy, but they just don't get..."

"A human and a turian being together," she finished the sentence for him. She wasn't so comfortable on being admired by the entire galaxy, but she said nothing about it. "It's OK, Garrus, it mustn't be easy for them. My dad won't get it, either," she paused. "I wonder..."

"I spoke with your mother," Garrus said. "She was helping evacuating human colonies, and got stranded like everybody else when the Reapers dissolved and the mass relays broke. You should speak with her when you have the chance."

"Does it mean...? My father...?" she asked, nervously.

He denied slowly with his head. "I'm sorry, Melody, I really am."

She lowered her head. Silent tears began pouring from the corner of her eyes, before she could attempt to stop them from flowing. He leant forward, still on the couch, caressing her face. She took his hand and pressed it against her chest. Her mouth opened to speak, but no sound came out.

"So much loss, with this war..." she said a while later, when she could speak. Her cheeks were still moist with tears. "My dad, Miranda Lawson, Mordin Solus..." her voice broke.

"Yeah," he said.

"Is there... a list of the deceased, yet?"

"No, not yet. Estimates are that each race lost more than half their population, even more in some cases, like the asari, elcor and batarian. It's very hard, but people are rebuilding. Life goes on and there is hope for the future..."

"Life finds a way," she whispered.

"Exactly," he made a long pause, all the time looking at her, trying to check on her state of mind if that was possible at all. "Right now, as we speak, there are scientists teams working together all across the galaxy, using QE comm, trying to find a way to rebuild the mass relays-"

"What?" she screamed, and jumped out of the couch in one movement. "No, no, no, no, no, Garrus," she said rapidly, distressed. She started walking in a line on the floor, coming from one end to the other, while gesticulating quickly. "They can't do that, no, no, the rest of the Reapers, the void between galaxies..."

"Please, calm down, Melody. Sit here and tell me what's on your mind," he requested.

She sat down, but her hands and eyes kept moving at a high speed. "The patterns. I told you about this at the hospital."

"Yes, but even then you admitted you didn't make sense," he replied. "Why don't you try to breathe slowly, clear your mind, and start from the beginning? There's time; even if the mass relays are a threat, there'll be years before anyone can figure out how to build them again."

"OK," she said, and took a deep breath. "Well, you know, when I was running to the conduit, and got injured..." he nodded, and she continued "I had hallucinations after that. In them, I got up and walked to the conduit and reached the Citadel. Up there I met Anderson and the Illusive Man..."

"He was never found, the Alliance's still searching for him," Garrus informed.

"He was heavily indoctrinated, in my vision. He talked to me, trying to convince me that he had found a way to control the Reapers, without having to destroy them. Of course I know now that nothing of that was real, but it sure felt so..."

"It's OK now," Garrus reassured her.

"Anyway, there was this... child, some sort of star-child. Nothing he said made any sense at all, but in the vision I just couldn't reply to him. Then he offered me three options: to control the Reapers, to merge organic and synthetic life, or to destroy them for good. You know? I remembered Saren, committing suicide when he realized the Reapers couldn't be controlled, that he had tried in vain and ended up indoctrinated himself. That last moment, when he regained his own mind and thoughts..."

"Thanks to you," he added. "It was you who made him see he was wrong."

"I wanted him to join us, not to kill himself."

"I know," Garrus said.

"Anyway... after I chose to destroy the Reapers, I had this visions I told you about the Normandy, and then some strange conversation between a boy and his grandparent... and then I woke up, on Earth, with rubble all over me. I realized at that very moment, that Harbinger had tried to indoctrinate me, and I was possessed with a maniacal homicidal fury."

"I've met your maniacal homicidal fury episodes, and you're not nice during them, Commander," he joked. "Those are the moments when one's glad to be on your side."

"I guess..." she said. "Anyway, it was then when the real vision came. In fact... it's hard to explain, but I noticed that when Harbinger touched my mind, in his attempt of subdue it, I also touched his, or whatever it is that Reapers have as an equivalent of mind. Just like the beacon in Eden Prime, except this time I understood what I saw. The dark energy patterns emerged clearly in my mind, and that's what I drew for Anderson. However, Garrus... I also saw there were a lot other patterns... one for each galaxy in this universe. There are Reapers in each, harvesting technically advanced organic life, all across the universe we can see..."

"Huh," was all Garrus found himself able to say.

"Our mass relays probably respond only to the patterns Anderson used, but these things created the relays. Other Reapers, from other galaxies, could be lurking now around us, seeking to revenge the ones we destroyed, and I imagine it wouldn't be hard for them to figure this galaxy's dark energy patterns and align them to their own, and invade again..."

"Well, Melody, we don't even know if they have a concept such as revenge, or if they can so easily travel between galaxies. Sure, the relays are their technology, but you said yourself how they have different patterns for each galaxy, and probably there is a reason for that. Even if they came back, we have defeated them once, and we would be more prepared. The relays are a need for the galaxy… and a lot of planets are missing valuable resources they could get if they were operational," he paused, and then added, "Including Palaven."

"I know what Palaven means to you, Garrus, but the risk is too high."

"We'll prepare for it, then. We can build another Crucible, be ready if they ever come back. But we cannot just give up on the relays. Galactic cooperation depends on them."

"This team of scientists could research on something else, something that is not Reaper based tech."

"That's what the quarians proposed, but scientists assure that it'd take centuries to develop a new tech that isn't based on the mass effect. The relays didn't vaporize like the Reapers, they just broke into many pieces, some bigger than others. They are studying those pieces, trying to make sense on how they all worked together."

"I... see," she said.

"It is you who taught me there is always a way," he said softly.

"Yeah... I really hope they will believe me, this time."


	5. Ch 5: Only one heart

Chapter 5: Only one heart.

The electronic systems at the door announced them that Major Alenko was outside. Garrus unlocked the mechanism, to let him in. The human entered, greeted them, and the door closed behind him. He could see the Commander over the couch, too weak to walk around for extended periods of time.

The turian and the human walked toward the couch, and Garrus took a place next to Melody. Shepard offered Kaidan a seat in front of them, and he sat, his bright brown eyes not hiding how glad he was to see the Commander awake and healed.

"Kaidan, good to see you," she said, smiling. "So, I was told you're the person I'll be yelling at when the new council turns to be no better than the previous one."

"Good to see you too, Shepard," the human said, also smiling. The sincerity of his expression could be seen from the sparkle in his eyes. "I'm glad that you're back on your feet, giving hell to everyone around you, including myself," he added, laughing.

"Well, why wouldn't she?" Garrus asked, and she grinned to him. The turian got up. "Some coffee, Alenko?"

"Sure, why not?" said Kaidan. Garrus walked to the kitchen counter, poured the dark liquid into a cup and walked back to the couch to hand it to him.

"I'd offer you something to eat," added Garrus, "but there are only some cans and boxes that I don't know what they contain..."

"I can't help you with that," Shepard said, shrugging. "Preparing coffee is the most elaborated food I know how to make, and even that tastes awful to other people when I offer it. I just got used to it, doesn't really bothers me."

"That's because you don't really have a good taste," said Kaidan, glancing surreptitiously at Garrus.

"Are we still talking about food?" she asked, laughing. "Anyway, no, I don't think I have a refined taste. I ate worms when I had to, during my N7 training, so I don't really care what I eat, as long as it's nourishing and meant for humans."

"Yeah, well, not a big fan of worms myself," commented the turian. "I could go outside and bring something already cooked. Any preferences?" he asked, looking at the Major.

"I'm not hungry, but thank you."

"And you, Melody?" asked Garrus.

"I could eat, but go easy on me. I haven't had food for five months. Oh, and bring a scissor if you find one, my hair is out of control."

"Sure," said Garrus, and left.

"So, he calls you 'Melody' now?" Kaidan mocked once the turian was gone. "That's good, I'm glad for the two of you. What shocked me a little was that you actually accepted to move in with him so soon..."

"Well, I never really had a house on Earth, or anywhere else to be honest. It's all new to me, but I'm happy to have him around."

"Yeah, the guy never really left the hospital while you were there. We visited, but eventually we were all needed for rebuilding or organizing stuff. We knew that when you'd awake, you wouldn't be alone, I wouldn't have tolerated that..." his voice cracked. "Sorry," he added.

"Kaidan, you don't have to-" she started.

"No, actually, I'm not sorry," he interrupted her, his voice acquiring a tone of sudden resolution. "I know you're not interested in me that way, that you never were, but still, I'm not over you. I want you to be happy, and if Garrus is the man who can do that, he'll be my best friend, but if he ever hurts you..."

"He won't," she replied. "We've been through a lot, you and I, and I want you to be happy too. You deserve it. You're a good man, and I'm sure there's a woman out there who'll be lucky to have you."

"Right," he practically snapped. "Only that woman is not you. Don't worry, though, I'll be fine. There are so many things to do. I'll be always watching over you, but you'll have to forgive me if I don't want to stick around, to see how you..." he paused, sounding irritated. "Give to him what I wanted from you. I guess we'll still run into each other, but for me, this is goodbye. There is one last thing I want to say, just to get it out my chest: I love you, Melody Shepard. I always did, and I always will."

"Kaidan..." she whispered, but he got up and turned to leave. He ran into Garrus on his way out, and muttered some words of goodbye.

"Why would he leave so soon, was it something I said?" the turian asked her, once they were alone.

"Not now, Garrus."

* * *

By the time Liara T'Soni arrived to pay a visit, the Commander had eaten already, cut her hair to the usual length and clipped it in a ponytail, and taken a tour around the rest of the house. Her fish, space hamster, and model ships were there, in the bedroom. It looked a lot like her cabin on the Normandy, only larger and decorated with big guns. Garrus approved. The rest of the house had a meeting room, and a storage room, prepared specially for armor and weapons.

Shepard received Liara on the living room. After greeting, the asari asked: "Did you like the decoration of your house? I tried for something you would both feel comfortable with..."

"Of course it had to be you," the Commander said. "The geth don't know me so much. And yes, Liara, we like it. Garrus is excited about the guns you left him in the bedroom. You just saw how he went to test them right now."

"Yes. That's great," said the asari archeologist, smiling. After a pause, she asked "Shepard, did you have time to learn what has happened since you awoke?"

"Yeah, Garrus filled me in," replied the Commander. There was sorrow in her tone and in the shine of her eyes.

"I'm sorry about your father," said Liara softly, her voice filled with sympathy.

"Thank you. I am sorry about your people, too..." the Commander lowered her head.

"We lost so many... but I'm glad you survived," said the asari in a low voice.

"Liara, did any... do people know that I lost my father?" asked Melody.

"People?"

"The crew. Kaidan," the Commander finally admitted, although she didn't seem comfortable talking about it.

"I don't know. I don't think so. I learned about it because, well, I still control a few channels of communication. QE comm is not as efficient in volume of information, but I still manage," she paused. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, he was here, earlier, and he didn't mention it..." she tried to keep a casual tone to her voice, but she failed.

"I'm sure he would have said something if he knew, Shepard. The Alliance had too many loses, I don't think there are even official lists yet."

"Right. Just asking," Shepard made a dismissive gesture with her hand, and straightened on her seat.

"Is there something wrong?" Liara sounded like she knew more than she wanted to express out loud.

"No, not really, it's just that I find odd that he didn't say anything about it, but if you say he didn't know... I thought you or Garrus had told him."

"He didn't speak a lot with any of us during these past months. We crossed paths many times at the hospital, but he always pretended to be in a hurry." She paused. "I assume he came clean with his feelings for you."

"What? Liara!" yelled Shepard.

"He didn't, then?" the asari asked as she tilted her head slightly, a faint grin crossing her face.

"Yes, he did. But you mustn't tell Garrus!" she half ordered and half begged.

"Of course not. I deal in information; I know what to say and what to keep. You know you can trust me, I respect you too much. I really care for you, like I always did."

"How did you know, anyway?" she narrowed her eyes.

"He told a friend of his that he couldn't hide it anymore, that if you ever woke up, the first thing he'd do is to confess you how he felt for you. One of my agents overheard him," Liara lifted her hand, with her palm up, casually.

"You really have agents everywhere."

"Only where it matters now, and the Alliance's circle of officials is one of those places," she made a pause. "Did he upset you?"

"A little... I mean, he said 'I love you' and left! He didn't even wait for a reply. He knows I'm with Garrus, that I have been with him for a while."

"What would you have said to him?" asked Liara, in a tone that resembled more philosophical reflection than actual curiosity.

"That I care for him, just not that way. He really should try to move on, what upsets me is that he didn't seem to even want to. I can't deal with more sadness; I can't see a man whom I regard as my friend just give up on his chances for happiness. I... Liara, there are things I learned that day, when I ran towards the conduit. Things you should know."

Shepard told the asari everything: the indoctrination attempt, the Reapers with different dark energy patterns all over the universe, her fears regarding the mass relays. She referred what Garrus had told her about it. Liara listened, and finally she said, "Garrus is right, we need the mass relays for about everything, especially peacekeeping. People from all races are stranded not only on Earth, but everywhere, and each of them are dreaming of returning to the place they come from. If they lose all hope of ever doing that, conflict will arise in each world with mixed races. I myself dream of recovering Thessia. I understand your concerns, but it makes sense to build another Crucible and be prepared. You can convince people of doing that. We will stand by you, as always."

"Thank you, Liara."

"A pleasure, Shepard."


	6. Ch 6: The hidden shadow

Chapter 6: The hidden shadow

During the next following days, the Commander received visits from Tali, Cortez, Wrex, Joker and EDI, Chakwas, who wanted to run medical tests on her to make sure she was recovering all right, Adams, and even Hackett. She also got more messages than she could possibly read, thus having to ask EDI to run a filter for her. She was beginning to hold a grasp on what being a galactic hero meant.

At some point, Liara noticed how the Commander and the former turian C-Sec agent were totally unable to cook for themselves, and thus hired a professional cook for them. The man prepared the dishes for each at morning, and then left. All they had to do was to heat them.

One morning, when he arrived, the cook said, "Commander, I think you should know there's a man sort of stalking outside your house. I ran into him yesterday and he asked if I worked for you. I told him, of course, that it was none of his business, but he's outside right now."

"Want me to take care of him?" Garrus asked her.

"Bring him here," she said, "I want to know what he wants. If he's hostile I can put a bullet inside his skull. I'm still a Spectre."

"Go home. Things could get ugly," Garrus said to the cook, who nodded, replaced all his cooking utensils and left, all without a word. Garrus then left through the same door, heading outside to get the man, while the Commander got one of her guns ready.

A few minutes later, Garrus entered back pointing a gun to a human with blond hair, green eyes and many scars. He was tall and generally good looking, with his muscles worked out. He had the aspect of a trained soldier by the way he stood.

The door closed behind him. Her face showed disbelief, and she lowered her pistol.

"Kyle!" she exclaimed.

"You know this guy?" Garrus asked.

"She knows me alright," said the stranger. "I'm sorry for all the inconvenience, I wasn't stalking you, I just... wanted to talk, but I didn't know if you'd receive me."

"It's OK, Garrus," she told the turian. He lowered his gun. "Talk about what, Kyle?"

"Could we have some privacy?" Kyle requested.

"No," she replied. "Whatever you want to say, Garrus can hear it."

"Fine..." said the human as he moved toward her. "I... was wrong. I'm so sorry, Melody. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. I really screwed it up."

"You did, Kyle Derksen, big time."

"I know, and I wanna make it up to you. I'm not happy right now. I wanna leave Kathy. And you... I know you've got to miss me, because… c'mon, a rebound relationship with a turian?"

An instant later, Kyle's nose was a bloody mess from the punch she gave him.

"Be happy it was your nose and not your balls, Kyle," she said with controlled rage. "If you ever see me again, you better run, because I won't be so forgiving next time. Now get the hell outta here!"

The man pressed his sleeve against his nose, and turned back to leave. Garrus didn't stop him. Once he was gone, Shepard collapsed on the couch and held her head with both hands.

"I owe you an explanation," she told Garrus, as he moved over to sit next to her. "Hell, I owe an explanation to myself..."

"Old flame?" the turian asked.

"The man that was here a moment ago, the one I broke his nose to because of what he said about you... that's my ex-husband."

Garrus stared at her, in shock. That was the last answer he expected to hear.

"I didn't know you had married," he finally managed to say.

"Yeah. Not my brightest decision," she admitted.

"So, wanna tell me about it?"

"Sure," she paused for breath, "I first met him during the N7 program. We were very young. We began the training at the same time. You see, here on Earth, there were always groups that resented change. Some of those revived with space exploration, and formed small communities. Kyle was born in one of these traditional hyper religious communities. They believe there's a preset role for women, which is being a mother, and roles for men. They have their own schools, and girls don't attend the same classes as boys. Little girls are taught to take care of babies and house tending, while boys get to learn whatever knowledge is legit for them and their religion.

"Kyle rebelled against his upbringing and joined the Alliance, but he hadn't meet to that point many women who could kick his ass. I totally could, and that pissed him off. He competed with me all the time, and I was game because it made me better, I had to put in more effort and I liked that. We didn't have the friendliest of conversations, but I enjoyed very much outwitting him. Looking back, perhaps that's how I learned how to get things done by yelling at people.

"Anyway, this went on until we both reached N6 grade of training. The Alliance received a distress call from a distant colony, and we were deployed there. It turned out that the colonists had encountered a hostile indigenous life form, some sort of giant bugs that were killing people. We tracked down the bugs to their nest. As it turned, there was only one nest and one queen in the entire planet."

"That's odd..." Garrus commented.

"We learned later that the queen was planted by a group of batarian that wanted the planet for themselves, but didn't have enough strength to just try and take it from the Alliance."

"I see," he said. "So, you tracked down the nest..."

"Yeah. We planted a bomb inside, but the bugs kept crawling out, so we decided to go down and kill the queen. Out of the team that went down, some were killed, some were seriously injured. Only Kyle and I stood on our feet. We cleared a pathway for the injured to get out, and decided to continue. We were set on bringing the bastard down; one queen bug wouldn't force the humans to give up on an entire planet.

"We walked for days, almost in darkness, always down following the trail of eggs. You see, these bugs moved their most mature eggs away from the queen, but they had soldiers protecting the newer ones. Kyle and I fought back to back. We saved each other lives countless times. I took him out of a pit of hungry larvae, and he pulled my head out of the jaw of a soldier bug. We... bonded.

"Finally, we reached the queen. It was one hell of a fight, but we brought her down. On the way out, we set the nest on fire. He looked at me, and said 'marry me.' I said 'OK.' We were both covered in some blue goo, chitin and dried blood. After that mission, we both received the N7 designation."

"But after that you went on and married him..." said Garrus.

"I thought he understood me. Not many people get me, Garrus, they have this ideas about me, that aren't me at all. I believed – I was foolish – that the experience we'd just lived through bonded us beyond words. And, you know? For some time it actually worked.

"We got this simple marriage, Alliance style. We were on board on a ship, and the commanding officer just asked if we accepted each other as husband and wife. No celebration afterward, no rings, I didn't change my last name."

"Rings?" the turian asked.

"Yeah, it's a human custom. It means... well, I really don't know what, you'll have to ask someone else, but married people use them most of the times. Matching rings, commonly made of gold or some other precious metal."

"Oh. About last names: humans change them when they get married?"

"Not anymore if they choose not to, but in the old days, women lost their last names and were given the one of their husbands. Some women still do it, out of tradition. My mom did, but when I asked her why, she explained that she actually hated her last name, and she had since she was little. Not to mention, she loves my d-" she paused. "…loved. She loved my dad like crazy."

Garrus reached out and held her hand.

"I'm fine," she said, and quickly added, "Any other question about human marriage?"

"None that I can think of, right now," he replied.

"So, as I was telling you, it worked for a while. After marriage we served on the same ships. We were together on Elysium, repelling an attack by batarian slavers. Again, we were the last two men standing. That earned each of us another medal. We were doing good. It's true that we didn't talk much..." she laughed softly.

"I can imagine that much," Garrus moved uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well, you do know me in that aspect, I need a man who can catch up with me," she ran a hand over his chest, playful. "You sure can, Garrus Vakarian..."

"Aren't you still too weak for that, Melody Shepard?"

"I don't know, but I guess we can find it out later," she grinned flirtatiously. "Where was I? Oh, I remember: the not talking much part."

"Yeah," he said. "Did you still believe the two of you were bonded without words?"

"Precisely. The problems arose when I was assigned to the Normandy… and he wasn't."

"Wait. Are you telling me that when I first met you, you were married to this guy?"

"That's right," she said.

"How come I didn't know?"

"Well, it's not like I carried a sign over my head. Nobody asked me about it. If I was hit on, I'd said no, never gave an explanation on why not, and none was requested. Plus, when I was assigned to the Normandy, I didn't really know how much longer the marriage would even last."

"What happened?" Garrus wanted to know.

"He got... jealous. Not of me and someone else, but of the fact that I was serving on the ship and he wasn't selected for it. We had about the same qualifications, the same number of medals, and the same rank. He thought that what made the difference was that I had attended Eagle Alliance Academy when I was a teen, a very prestigious institution for aspiring Alliance officials, and he went to a regular, religious school in his community. However, things went really bad when I told him about Saren."

"How so?" asked the turian.

"He said I was crazy for going after a rogue Spectre, that I would only manage to get myself killed. He wanted me to quit on the mission, go back to the ship we were serving on, and forget the whole matter. I told him, of course, that I couldn't do that.

"When we learned about the Reapers, I sent him a message explaining it all. I could understand that the council couldn't believe me, but, my own husband? He said I definitely had lost it, I asked for the divorce. He told me to wait, to meet and talk about it all, but I didn't have time. Then, you know what happened, Ilos, Sovereign... I just couldn't think on how to save my relationship, or if it was worth of being saved. I tried to reach him after the attack on the Citadel, but he was on a mission. And then, I... died.

"When Cerberus brought me back, I wrote him as soon as I could. I told him I had been in a coma. It was before I set course to Omega to try to recruit a certain turian rebel named Archangel, for a suicide mission," she smiled faintly. "We met on the Citadel. I told him about the collectors. Again, he didn't believe me. I returned to the Normandy, filled the divorce files, and sent them to him. He returned them to me, signed, within an hour. I never talked to him since, until now. I learned from a former crew mate, that he got married with this girl from his community, two months after the divorce was official."

"You mean, one of those women raised to be mothers and nothing else?"

"Right," she said.

"Was he indoctrinated or something?"

"No, you heard him. It was rebound, and that's why he thought I was doing the same with you. I hit him not only for saying that, but also on behalf of his current wife. She probably won't."

"Well, it served him right."

"Yeah," she said. "So, you see, Garrus, there was a time when I was young and a little stupid."

"Naive, I'd say, but I'm in no position to judge," he adopted a flirtatious tone. "I am, however, interested in this communication without words you described..."

"Take me up to the bedroom and I'll show you how it works," she replied.


	7. Ch 7: In motion

Chapter 7: In motion.

She woke up and stretched in bed. Only a thin white sheet covered her skin. The dim light of the bedroom reflected on the metallic carapace of the turian sleeping beside her. She smiled, and distractedly started caressing his chest. His sharp blue eyes opened.

"Did I wake you up, Vakarian?" she asked.

"I sort of have a name, you know," he said, quoting her.

"Vengeance is sweet."

"Yeah. Not so sure if Liara had a good idea by leaving all this guns in the bedroom..."

"What's the matter, Vakarian? Is anything in here in need of some more calibration?"

"Always. But, you know?" he said. "It was good meeting your ex-husband. Everything I do from now on will look better by comparison."

"I wouldn't use that as an excuse for not putting in any effort if I were you. I have other offers, you know."

"Really? From who?"

"Well, Wrex said he missed his beloved Bakara..." she lied smoothly.

"Can't compete with that."

She grinned as she got out of the bed in one movement and dressed in two. She glanced at her reflection on the aquarium glass. She had lost weight. Nevertheless, her Alliance uniform still looked good on her.

"I need to talk to Hackett first," she said. "Then I'll speak with the scientists teams, oh, and I have to reach my mother, and..."

"And here we go again," commented Garrus. "I was hoping that when you'd wake up we'd have more than a few quiet days."

"Then I don't know who you were waiting for..." she said, amused. "Are you coming?"

She placed her pistol in its holder and headed out, followed closely by Garrus. The Alliance's new base in London was almost four kilometers away from their home, but Shepard decided to walk. She felt the need to see the city after the war as she couldn't perceive the mood when she had left the hospital in a cab.

Looking down the street, all of the other houses seemed human from the outside, except her own. She stood in front of it and really observed its shape, in a way she hadn't when she first arrived. It reminded her of the interface Legion had prepared for her when she entered the geth consensus.

Legion. Another name to mourn. She shook her head and started walking.

A few blocks away, they had to climb over debris. A cat crossed their path, and then jumped over the remains of a traditional English house. It sat and stared at them, the sole king of desolation. Shepard tried to reach it, but it hissed and ran away.

They kept walking until they reached what used to be a school playground. It was only inhabited by a flock of birds. The Commander sat on a swing and swung back and forth, not because she was tired, but because she needed to hear the sound of it. There used to be children playing in that spot less than a year ago. She didn't know them but she knew they had to be there.

"Where are they, Garrus?" she asked the turian, who stood next to the swing. "Where are the survivors? This school is obviously empty, it should be filled with children voices at this time of the day."

"They are rebuilding, Melody," he answered in a comforting tone. "Their houses, their schools and their lives. I'm sure there are some other schools around filled with children voices. We just have to keep walking."

"I get to keep walking, when so many others won't have the chance..." she said in a doleful tone.

"So many will keep walking because you never gave up," he retorted. "Don't do this to yourself. You did everything you could, and you are the one person who did even what she couldn't do."

She stopped the swing and got up. She resumed the walk, without saying another word. He walked by her side, unsure of what to say or do to cheer her up. How could he, a turian who failed in everything he tried to do for himself, lift the spirit of Commander Shepard, the galactic hero, the person who had served him as a personal inspiration? Yet he had to try, because she was also the woman he loved. He grabbed her arm, inviting her to stop. She looked at him.

"I had the chance to read some human history while you were at the hospital," he said. "You had a great plague some centuries ago, the Black Death. It killed millions. But you recovered, because it's in human spirit."

She hinted a smile. "Thank you, Garrus," she whispered.

Some blocks ahead, they could hear children voices and laughter, and also the noises the geth used to make. They hurried, but she froze when she could see what was happening. Her hands clenched in anger.

A group of children, aged eight to twelve, were watching the geth work, and throwing stones at them. The children rejoiced every time a rock hit the chassis of a worker, however the geth didn't stop their labor. She ran towards the group, and grabbed a girl's hand before she could throw the piece of rubble she had in her hand.

"Would you like it if someone did this to you?" she asked the girl, but she made it clear she was addressing the whole group. "What would you think if someone would throw stones at your parents while they work?"

"But... they are just machines..." the girl said.

"That's not true. They're alive like you and me. They're just made of something different." She pointed at Garrus. "Would you say he's not alive?"

The girl laughed. "Of course he's alive, but he's a turian."

"That's right, but he's not made from the same stuff we are. He can't eat our food. It's the same with the geth, they are alive. They have their own thoughts and feelings, even if they're different from ours."

"My dad says they're dangerous," commented a boy. "He says they could turn against us."

"Only if they are attacked. Wouldn't you?" Shepard asked them. "Go home and tell your parents they're wrong. Tell them Commander Shepard can attest that they had the chance to harm people and chose not to. They can ask me any time."

"Wow, are you Shepard?" asked another boy. "I thought you'd be taller."

The group was excited about the revelation. They all started talking at the same time, popping all kind of questions. She answered some of them, and then ordered the kids to go home and be nice. The children left, running and talking about meeting _the _Commander Shepard.

One of the geth swiveled around and said, "Thank you, Shepard-Commander."

"Thank you, for not harming them," she replied.

"Our calculations determined that the terminal velocity at which the projectiles reached our structure was not sufficient to produce integrity damages."

"Of course," Garrus commented.

"Yeah," she said. "Next time, tell them to stop. Do not hurt them, but let them know you aren't just machines. Human children aren't born knowing everything an adult should."

"Acknowledged, Shepard-Commander."

The turian and the human kept walking. When the geth couldn't hear them, she said:

"You were right, Garrus, things are falling apart. How are we even going to pull this off? These children were only repeating what their parents told them. I can't yell at every living creature in this galaxy. Even if I could, would they all listen?"

"Hey, Commander, I'm the pessimist here!" exclaimed Garrus. "You're pushing me out of business! Where's the stubborn woman who always finds a way just because she can't bear the idea that there isn't one?"

"She's tired, I guess. But you're right, we'll find a way. It's just that... my dad..." she admitted, finally letting go the words that were pressing her chest for the last few days.

"I know," he said as he hugged her tight to his chest. "I'm sure that wherever he is, he's looking after you."

"He was a great man, and a remarkable soldier. I didn't see him too often, but we talked when we could. I'll miss him," she shook her head. "Let's go."

They walked in silence for a few more blocks. Finally they ran into a street gang, consisting in five humans and two batarians, which blocked their way. Garrus drew his pistol, but the Commander just stood in front of them, shifting the weight to one leg. She was analyzing them.

"Commander Shepard," one of the batarians said.

"So, what's this about?" she replied. "Do you really want to cause me trouble?"

"No," interjected the other batarian. "We were up there protecting the Crucible, with our fleet, like everybody else. We didn't survive the Reapers just to die here in an alley, by your hand. We aren't stupid. We know that if even if we managed to kill you for what you did to Aratoht, your people would avenge you."

"Do you think I don't feel bad about Aratoht?" she said. "The Reapers were coming, we weren't ready, and we would all be dead if they had made it through the relay at that time. So no, I don't regret it, I did what I had to do. And it was hard like hell."

"That is exactly what we wanted to hear," said the batarian who spoke first. "That it was hard like hell. That you didn't have fun killing our people."

"That you can be sure of," she affirmed. Then she added, "I'm sorry about Khar'shan."

"They say that the mass relays will be rebuilt. We'll re-conquer Khar'shan, that we can tell you. Now, feel free to go. We won't delay you any longer."

They moved to let Shepard and Garrus pass. Garrus holstered his weapon and they kept walking.

"Damn batarians," said Garrus when they were out of sight. "Every time I find one, I feel like putting a bullet through his head."

"There has been enough death already," she replied. "I don't like them in general, but these two were pretty decent. Their question was a valid one."

They reached the Thames. There was a bridge a few meters ahead, with a big sign in red letters stating that it was restored only for pedestrian crossing. They walked half way across it, and she stopped to lean on the railing, facing the water.

"Do you have rivers in Palaven?" she asked.

"Like this? No, we don't," Garrus replied. "We have water, of course, but this planet has a lot of it on the surface. I've seen pictures of your oceans, they're quite impressive."

"I haven't seen a lot of pictures of your world myself."

"I'll find you some, but don't expect so much variety. You've seen one city, you've seen them all. There are some places I liked... but it's not like I could ever take you there. Even if they still existed –and the mass relays worked – there's too much radiation for a human body."

"That's not a problem at all. I could suit up… or did you mean to kiss me on your favorite spots on Palaven?"

"I could kiss you now," he said, the look on his face playful. He grabbed her by her waist, and kissed her.

A minute later, a little girl came running across the bridge, followed by her mother. The girl was missing about half her face and had a prosthetic arm. She waved at them, but her mother grabbed her and held her in her arms.

"Are you Commander Shepard?" the mother asked.

"Yes, I am," replied Melody.

The woman spat on the Commander's face, hitting her cheek. Garrus stepped forward, angry at the blatant disrespect, but Shepard waved him off. She wiped it away with the back of her hand.

"Bitch," said the woman, holding the little girl. "They say you are a hero, but it was your fault, the Alliance's fault, that the Reapers ever came to Earth. They don't target civilizations without space travel tech, the Alliance is denying it but the word on the street says differently. I wish you have all died, instead of my girl's father. Instead of my son."

The woman walked away with her child in tow and vanished in the thin mist.


	8. Ch 8: Reporting for duty

Chapter 8: Reporting for duty.

The Alliance's new base was a former warehouse that the Reapers didn't consider tearing down, reconditioned to serve military purposes. From the outside, the red brick structure was a little depressing, with bullet marks and dark stains on the walls. Most of the window panels were broken, and had been covered with sheets of wood. Surrounding buildings showed different levels of destruction, from functional but unaesthetic, to piles of rubble. The pavement however had been fixed to allow for vehicle transit.

Soldiers came in and out of the base. They all saluted the Commander as they passed by, and waited for her gesture to be dismissed. There was unspoken admiration in the eyes of those men and women. "Bosh'tet," she thought, borrowing in her mind the quarian curse, "this people seem to think I saved the damn galaxy! It was Anderson who paid with his life for what I couldn't do, and even then, they have no idea of what I'm about to reveal to Hackett..."

Shepard and Garrus entered. They were warmly greeted by Steve Cortez, and they started chatting. The base was equally depressing from the inside, with boxes piled up everywhere, and wooden panels performing as separators for improvised offices, armories, and command center. The building wasn't well lit, and its interior made a great contrast with the shining morning sun outside.

The Commander left the lieutenant and the turian discussing guns, and went on to find Admiral Hackett. She saw him talking to other officials on a platform above, near the railing. She climbed the stairs and stopped near him.

"Shepard!" greeted the Admiral. He gave some orders to the other officials, dismissed them, and then gestured to the Commander to follow him. She complied, and they both entered an office at the other end of the platform. The room was probably an office too when the building functioned as a warehouse, but now it was stacked with more boxes and scattered data-pads. The door closed behind them.

"Commander," he started, "good to see you back on your feet."

"You won't be so happy when I'm done telling you what I came to inform you," she replied. She gazed around the mess surrounding them.

"What is it? Speak freely." He straightened up and crossed his hands behind his back.

Shepard told him, moving from one end of the office to the other while she spoke. She spared no detail in her account of what had happened since she had run for the conduit, five months ago. She revealed the indoctrination attempt, her visions of dark energy patters, the Reapers all across the universe. Her tone was a mixture of a little despair and a lot of determination. Hackett listened to her, and when she was done, he asked:

"Do you really think they'll be back?"

"I..." started Melody, shook her head, and concluded, "I can't be sure, but we cannot afford not to be prepared, sir. I heard we're researching the mass relay tech, but what if they're rebuilt and Reapers in other galaxies use them to pop out into ours? We should at least try to learn how exactly the Catalyst worked, and build another Crucible."

"I understand your concerns," said Hackett. "However, although we're all trying to be optimistic here, we don't even know yet if the research will be successful. It could be years before the scientists figure out how the hell to build a mass relay." He walked to the other side of the room, and then turned to face her. "You could help, of course. There's probably something in what you saw, that could give them clues. This dark energy patterns could be related to the mass effect."

"I saw how to use them, but there was nothing indicating how to build them. We still don't know much about the Catalyst, and I really think we should be researching that, before the mass relays."

"Shepard, listen," he said, his face and tone acquiring a grave expression. "I believe you, but our hands are a little full, here. Earth is a mess. Society almost collapsed, we're working hard to restore it. Normal life is a dream lost to most people. All the Alliance's civil authorities died in the reaper's attack, and the new ones aren't finding sufficient support. Governments all around the globe are trying to take over, replace the Alliance with some other organization, or dismantle it. The military branch is more respected, but there are groups claiming that what happened with the Reapers is our fault. They say we brought them here."

"I know that part," she replied. "How did it leak that the Reapers only target technologically advanced civilizations?"

"We don't know, but it leaked and now we have to deal with it. And then, there are the aliens." He reached for a data-pad over a pile, and handed it to her. She examined it for a while and left it on the pile again. "Krogan are getting restless. Turians might follow. And humans... well, a lot of people don't want the aliens on our homeworld. The rachni asked to be placed on Mars, they claimed they needed a quieter environment for their song. Now many humans are demanding that all aliens should be on Mars too, until they can travel back to their worlds. Things are getting pretty hairy, and all that even without Cerberus involvement..."

"Cerberus?" she asked, perplexed.

"We dismantled three Cerberus operations so far, since the war ended. Luckily for us, the turians and the krogan don't know they were the intended targets, or diplomacy could have gone down the sewer," he paused, and looked at her. "On the last attempt, they tried to launch a virus that would have killed all turians standing on Earth. Humans are immune to it."

"Oh..." she murmured. Her eyes clouded as she imagined the scenario of Garrus getting ill with a Cerberus virus and dying before she could wake up from coma. She fought to push that thought back to the depths of her mind. She needed to focus.

"I know this is all a lot to throw on you," said Hackett. "You've been in a coma for months, and have only recently awakened. I'm telling you all this only because I want you to understand why it'd be impossible to do what you suggest, right now. Mass relays are the hope people are clinging to, and a peacekeeping notion. We can't stop the project, or derive many resources to other investigations. Morale isn't very strong at the moment," he paused. "Have you told many people about the Reapers in the other galaxies?"

"Only people I trust, they won't talk if I tell them not to," she leaned on a pile of boxes. "But Admiral, the problem won't go away just because we're too worn out to kick it in its balls."

"I know. I'm not saying we won't address this, but not right now, Shepard. Go home and get some more rest, because we'll need you soon enough."

"I'm done resting, sir," a movement of her hand cut the air as she spoke. "I'm ready to get back to duty. Your hands are full, but I have a pair ready to grab this situation by the neck."

"Are you sure?" he asked, and she nodded. "Then, the time has come to discuss your promotion."

"Promotion?" she pondered the notion, and added, "I don't know, sir, most people in the galaxy already know me as Commander Shepard..." she paused. "Would a promotion grant me a scientific team to research on the Catalyst?"

"I'm afraid not, Shepard. Not at the present moment."

"Which means that if I get it later, I will because I'm stubborn like hell and not because of my rank. Commander works for me, sir. But I want my Normandy."

"You'll have it when we fix it."

"Where do you need me now?" she asked.

"Well, you should speak with the scientists when you have the time. It wouldn't hurt if you also spoke with the krogan and turian forces. Try to remind them that we all want the same things."

"It'll only work if we really do. But don't worry, I'll also speak with the humans," she paused. "What about Cerberus?"

"I have a team working on that, N-operatives. They're doing a great job, but they could use you."

"Roger that."

"Follow me, then," he started walking toward the door, and she followed him. "I'll introduce you to Major McAllister, he's coordinating the team."

They descended to the lower level, walked to the rear of the building and exited through a back door. Behind the red brick structure there was a large yard, being used as a training ground. Garrus and Cortez were there, shooting at targets. Near them, there was a man teaching ground combat techniques to a group of young soldiers. He had dark brown hair, light blue eyes and many scars on his square face. He appeared to be on his early thirties. He wore a regular Alliance uniform, but it had the characters N7 embroidered on one shoulder. The man dismissed his trainees and turned to Hackett.

"Commander," the Admiral said to Melody, "this is Major Ian McAllister. Major, Commander Shepard will be working on your team."

"Got it, Admiral," said the Major, and then turned to face the Commander. "Commander Shepard? You're probably too famous to remember me."

"Your face sure looks familiar, Major," she said. She noticed Garrus approaching from the corner of her eye, but she didn't turn.

"You knew each other?" asked Hackett.

"Eagle Alliance Academy, we both enrolled in 2168. She was too busy learning how to be a real soldier, unlike the rest of us."

"Good," said the Admiral, "then you'll find more common ground to work. I'll leave you to it." He turned and left.

"I remember you now," said Shepard to McAllister, once Hackett was gone. "You were selected by Major Salas for his special training course. You stood right next to me when he was telling us about it. You left like a month later."

The Major laughed. "Yeah, I did. Over a girl, no less. I asked her out, but only Saturday's afternoon worked for her. Eventually she ditched me for an older guy. Not a story I'm proud to tell."

"But it worked for you anyway, didn't it, Major?" she asked, pointing at the N7 characters on his uniform. "Don't worry, we've all done some things in our youth we're not very proud of," she glanced at Garrus. The turian replied with a complicit gaze. She made him a gesture inviting him to come closer. "This is Garrus Vakarian," she told McAllister. "Former C-sec agent, former expert advisor on Reapers, permanent member of the Normandy's crew," she winked at Garrus, "and a very special man to me."

"No kidding," said Ian. "So, this explains why you paid no attention to any of us when we asked you out, you didn't like humans after all." he added, laughing.

"You asked me out?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"Senior year," Ian nodded. "I tried to convince you to go to prom with me, but probably more than half the school did, so I'm glad you don't remember it. I made a fool of myself."

"I'm sure you didn't," she replied. "I just had other things on my mind."

"Oh, don't worry, Shepard," he said as he lifted his hand, displaying the golden hoop on his ring finger. "I learned."

"Good for you," she said.

"So, you knew Shepard when she was young," commented Garrus. "What was she like?"

"Like now, except for the scars," answered the Major. "First human Spectre? We knew that the minute we saw her on the school yard. She was stubborn, bossy and non-conformist. In other words, a killjoy."

"Just like now," said Garrus.

"A killjoy?" shrieked Shepard, looking at the turian. "Garrus, you are in so much trouble..." she said, amused, and turned to the human. "And as for you, killjoy or not, you still asked me out."

"And you didn't want to go to the ball, with me or anyone else, which sort of proves me right. Now, before you draw that gun of yours and start shooting at me, do you want me to debrief you on our intel about Cerberus?"

"Coward," she replied, smiling to show she didn't mean it. "But sure, Major, let's get started."


	9. Ch 9: Confessions

Chapter 9: Confessions

Shepard spoke at length with McAllister about the situation with Cerberus. The Major told her all the details about the previous operations, and explained that they had no intel so far about future movements of the terrorist organization. Even though the team had its own specialist, she suggested McAllister to work with Specialist Traynor. She commended the abilities that Traynor had shown in picking up on their plans whilst aboard the Normandy. McAllister assured her that he would contact the specialist, and set up a time for her to meet the rest of his team. She saluted him and walked away, accompanied by Garrus.

Steve Cortez, who was still practicing on the shooting range nearby, crossed her path. "Commander?" he said. "I was hoping to catch up with you, whenever you have time..."

"Tali said she wanted to speak with me about the Normandy," intervened Garrus, "I'll be with her, if you need me."

"Sure, Garrus," said the Commander. Garrus left, and when she and Cortez were alone, she asked, "How have you been, Steve?"

"Not bad, all things considered," he answered. "We lost so many good people, but..."

"Yeah. I feel terrible about James," she said, her gaze dropping to the floor momentarily.

"He was a good friend. We all miss him," He said softly, his eyes returning to hers. "The moment I heard that his body had been found, knowing he was on the ground team with you. I didn't have reports on your situation, and I thought..." he interrupted himself. "I'm glad you made it. I... I am sorry, I recently heard about your father."

"He'll be missed too," she said, the shine on her eyes revealing what her words didn't.

"How are you holding up?" his expression showed real concern for her.

"This war took a lot from us, but we're still breathing. You know me, I don't believe in living in the past. I wish we could bring them all back, but we can't."

"No, we can't," he said, a grave expression crossing his face. "Is there anything I can do for you? You've helped me so much, I'm indebted with you."

"Thank you, it's good to have friends around," she lowered her head a little. The tone of her voice, however, was held back, as if she needed to regain control over her emotions.

"OK, Commander, you're not fine at all. Shoot," he motioned towards her with a friendly gesture.

"What can I tell you that you don't know already?" she shook her head slowly. "People died, people that were very close to me and people that weren't, but who are being mourned by the living. There's not a single damn thing I can do about it."

"You should take some time, rest to clear your head."

"No," she said abruptly. "You don't understand. This... well, you shouldn't repeat around what I'm gonna tell you, but this isn't over. Not really."

"You mean Cerberus?" he asked. "I know, but it's under control for the moment, you don't have to..."

"Reapers," she interrupted him. "I mean, the damn Reapers. It's not over. I can't stop, not for a single second. I really can't."

"What do you mean?" his face showed concern, mixed with a little suspicion.

"Don't give me that look, Steve, I'm not crazy," she said. "I know what I saw."

"OK, but I'm lost here, Commander. What did you see?"

She started walking across the training ground, avoiding the people practicing, Steve following in her wake. The Commander kept her head low, painful memories invading her mind all over again. "It was when we ran towards the conduit. When I got injured and nearly died." He nodded. "I had this... vision."

"What kind of vision?" he asked.

"When it started, I saw myself on the Citadel, Anderson was there, and so was the Illusive Man. Then I was transported to some upper level, and I saw... I don't know, a child."

"A child?" he seemed puzzled.

"It doesn't make sense, I know, but wait. The child said that he was the catalyst, and that he controlled the Reapers. He offered me three solutions to end the Reaper threat." She shook her head. "One was to control them, but then I would die, he said. I asked myself how could I really control them in the afterlife, so I rejected the notion, not to mention that nobody could really do that and not become indoctrinated. The other options were to combine synthetic and organic life, or to destroy all synthetic life, including the geth. The child said all three options would destroy me."

"And then what happened, in your vision?" he asked, intrigued.

"Well, it was a tough call, but I figured only the destruction of the Reapers would end the slaughter, so I chose that. It wasn't easy for me, knowing it would kill the geth, and EDI. It was genocide, but I remembered that Saren had tried for synthesis and it didn't work, he ended up indoctrinated himself... there's no negotiation with a race such as the Reapers. There were no real options," she sighed. "I had some more hallucinations, about the Normandy, and about some child and his grandpa in the future, and then I woke up. Sort of."

"But you drew patters of some kind, when they found you."

"Yeah, I did. You see, when I woke up, half buried in a pile of rubble, my mind slowly started to sort things out." She shrugged as she walked. "I realized that the vision hadn't been real, and also that some of my thoughts hadn't been mine."

"How do you even realize what thoughts are your own, in a situation like that?" he asked, a hint of disbelief in his voice. She picked up on it, but chose to ignore it.

"I don't know, perhaps it's the clarity of mind people talk about during a near death experience." She stopped walking, and looked straight at him. "I'm sure someone played with my mind, and it's not hard to figure out who."

"The Reapers?" he asked in a serious tone. Sunlight bathed his tan skin, giving him a more earnest look.

She nodded. "When I came back to my senses, I realized they had tried to indoctrinate me," she resumed her walking, and again he followed. "Rage filled me, and when it did, I could remember the real vision. My real contact with the Reaper's mind, if you can call it that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it all came to me, in a rush," she paused. "I had some sort of contact with a Reaper, Harbinger, I believe. They work on dark energy, and so did the Citadel. I'm not even sure of what dark energy is, but it was really clear for me at that moment. The Reapers had some sort of signature, some patterns of dark energy that could resonate with the Citadel. I saw them clearly, I realized this resonance was the clue, aligning the patterns of the Citadel with that of the Reapers could destroy them. The scary part is that the patterns were just one combination in billions. The Reapers attacking this galaxy were just a small fraction of the Reapers that exist. Every single galaxy of this universe has Reapers lurking outside, in the dark space between galaxies. There are billions of galaxies in the universe, so..."

"I see, Commander," he started, cautiously, "but just because there are billions of combinations of this patterns, doesn't mean they are all used."

"No, but I **saw** it. They were. They **are**." There was exasperation in her voice.

"Even if that's the case, that's no reason to worry, and certainly that's no reason for you to be in such a state of mind. We've beaten them once, and we can do that again."

"We needed the Crucible, and the Catalyst. We didn't build the last, and we don't even know where to start. Now Hackett," she pointed with her finger at the building nearby, "says we can't use our resources now to investigate that, supposing we could even do it on time before they invade us again."

"There has been no sign of Reapers ever since they disintegrated five months ago," his voice sounded conciliatory. However, it was obvious he was asking himself how to imbue hope in Commander Shepard, the same woman who moved an entire galaxy based only on hope.

"Steve, they're patient," she sounded really tired. "Their war against the Protheans took centuries."

"Shepard, you are just one person." He stopped, and she stood in front of him. "You'll be no good to anybody, and specially not to yourself, if you don't allow yourself a break."

"I can't... stop," she admitted. "If I stop I think, and if I think, all I wanna do is cry..."

Obeying a sudden impulse, he hugged her. She smiled.

"Thank you," she whispered, releasing herself from the embrace. "I know you want to help me, but I'm beyond help at this point."

"That's only true if you want it to be," he said, concerned. "And hey, Commander, crying might not be that bad after all. It might be just what you need right now. You know you have a shoulder right here," he tapped his own shoulder, "should you need it."

"I'll let you know. But thanks again. Right now, I believe I should try to contact my mother, I've been delaying that long enough."

"You do that, but remember that you can always count on me."

She nodded and walked away, realizing how much she hated not being in control of herself anymore.


	10. Ch 10: Dear mother

Chapter 10: Dear Mother

Melody Shepard reentered the Alliance's base, and searched for the communications expert. She told him she wanted to reach Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard, and he explained to her it would take some time. She waited for nearly two hours until she was told she could enter the comm room. It was small, but she had privacy. It was cleaner than other parts of the building; there weren't so many boxes around and the light was a little better. She figured it had probably been another office, or perhaps even a refitted bathroom.

There was a circle of light on the floor, and the Commander waited in front of it. The holographic, translucent figure of her mother formed before her on the center of the circle. Hannah Shepard looked older than she remembered. She had deep rings under her eyes, and new wrinkles.

"Melody!" her mother greeted. She sounded enormously happy and relieved. "I am so glad to see you on your feet!"

"It's good to see you too, mom," the Commander replied, pleased. Her expression and voice changed a second later, becoming sombre and reflective. "I know about dad... how are you holding up?"

"Your father and I spoke about death many times." She shook her head, a gesture her daughter knew all too well. Hannah was dismissing her true feelings, shielding her from hurt as if she was still a little child. Melody knew her mother was aware of her age and that she could cope with pain, but she figured her mom was still fighting with her own sorrow. She didn't dare to say anything about it, and Hannah continued. "It's not easy, I won't lie to you about that, and I miss him like hell, but I'm holding up." Long pause. "How are you feeling? I can only imagine, you waking up, rising from the dead, and realizing he's gone..."

"I'm sorry I didn't have the chance to say goodbye," admitted Melody sadly.

"He was so proud of you. So am I. We spoke about you a lot, and he always told me how he was glad that you'd joined the Alliance, after all."

"He never said that to me."

"He was afraid of losing you. In his mind you never ceased to be his sweet Melody. I guess... no, I don't guess, I'm sure he would have told you, after the war." The air in the little comm room was heavy with pain and sorrow.

"What happened?" she asked, shifting her weight to one side. Her tone was soft, careful.

"We were evacuating Joab from the Reaper attack," said Hannah, doing her best to conceal the grief that threatened to overcome her. She lowered her head, and Melody understood just how bad her mother felt. "He was leading a group of colonists to the shuttles, while my group was providing fire support. His shuttle was caught by a Reaper's main gun. There were no final words, no goodbyes, just... silence on the comm."

"Mom..." she managed to choke out.

"It's hard," Hannah said in a quiet voice, "but I had time to mourn him. You've been asleep for five months... how are you?"

"Not perfect, but I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." She paused, then added, "At least they were months, and not years." Melody felt a little guilty, because she had never had the heart to tell her mother that she had actually died, and been brought back to life by Cerberus. Hannah had believed that her daughter had been doing some classified mission as a Spectre, for two years, and the Commander never rectified the assumption her mother and many others made.

"They told me there was a chance that you'd never wake up, Melody. That was the hardest part of everything I had to live through these last few months, so I cannot explain you how relieved I am to see you."

"I'm glad you made it, because if I had lost you both..." she stood straight and lowered her head very slightly.

"I know, but I'm here." Hannah tried to sound comforting. "I only regret not being there, on Earth, to hug you like I did when you were a little child."

"I'll consider myself hugged, mom." A faint smile formed on her face. "I... there's so much I wanna talk about." What she didn't add, but she thought, was, "_Enough about dad, mommy, because we're both gonna cry and there's nothing we can gain from it, is not like we can bring him back to life with tears..._"

"Comm is expensive now," she made a dismissive gesture with her hand, "but I doubt they'll cut time on Commander Shepard, savior of the galaxy."

"That's not true," Melody replied, and she grimaced. She repeated to her mother what she had told to Steve Cortez, two hours before. Hannah listened, commenting very little, her expression serious.

"Listen," Hannah said, when her daughter was done talking. Her tone was firm, compelling. "What you did was impossible, but you did it, nevertheless. Nobody believed we could stop the Reapers, but they're gone now. If they come again, we'll fight again. We're soldiers, Melody, that's what we do."

"I know, but the galaxy doesn't have the strength right now." She shook her head. "We don't have the knowledge or the resources."

"If they come back people will suddenly remember they want to live, I can assure you of that. Someone will remind them if they forget, and that person could or could not be you. It was you before, because nobody else thought he or she needed to fill in, what with you walking around and making all that noise."

Melody laughed softly. "I sure made a lot of noise."

"You did," Hannah nodded. Her image flickered a little. "I'm so damn proud. But you deserve some rest now."

"I can't rest. There's some much to do, Cerberus is still active..." She sounded anxious.

"Don't tell me you're back on duty," her mother interrupted.

"I am," she replied quickly, almost confrontationally.

"Then be glad that we're several systems apart, because I could kick your ass right now. How can you be back on duty? Hackett told me you'd be given some time off, so I assume it was your idea, and..."

"I can't just sit around and do nothing!" Melody shouted. "Anderson's dead, and it was my fault, the krogan could revolt, Cerberus could have wiped out all the turians, and the Reapers could come back at any time!"

"First of all, Anderson's death is not your fault; it's the Reaper's fault, like any other death in this war. Don't go that way, because it never ends. You wouldn't want people blaming themselves for your death, would you?"

"No, but..."

"But nothing," interrupted Hannah. "Don't do this to Anderson."

"You're right, mom," she lowered her head. She knew her mother would have suffered greatly if she had died. Losing her husband and her only child to the war? However, Melody had prepared herself to die anytime for the Alliance, that was part of being a soldier. When the Reapers attacked, she was ready to sacrifice herself for the galaxy. She knew there was a conflict between her duty and sparing from grief the people who loved her, she just didn't know how to resolve such conflict.

"Of course I'm right." The Rear Admiral paused. "About the krogan and the turians, I understand your concerns, but it didn't happen, right? It means someone is taking care of that, and it's doing it right. It doesn't have to be you. The Reapers... well, it could happen, but we don't know that yet. Even if it did, we'll find a way. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to be prepared, but it doesn't have to be right now. You can take a break, you know. In fact you really **need** to take a break."

"I tried." The Commander shook her head. "It didn't work. I'd really feel better if I'm doing something."

"Yeah, sorry to break it on you, but that's not feeling better, Melody." She motioned with her hand. "That's pushing what you feel for later, and burying yourself in work."

"Fine, maybe you're right." The Commander sounded a little upset. "So what? I can't deal with my feelings right now."

"Find help, then."

"What are you saying, mom?" She almost shrieked. "Are you sending me to a shrink?"

"Whatever suits you." She tilted her head slightly. "There's nothing wrong about not being able to handle all the stuff you've been through."

"OK, I'll think about it. But I'm not taking time off." She sounded decided.

"You always did what you wanted, there's no dissuading you." She shrugged. "I learned that much. Just take it easy."

"I'll try." Melody nodded.

"Now, I don't know if he told you, but I spoke with this turian... Vakarian?"

"He told me alright." "_And here we go..._" She thought.

"I imagine." She paused. "Really, Melody? A turian?" Half a smile formed on Hannah's face. "There were no humans available?"

"Oh, there were humans, I just didn't connect to them." The Commander smiled.

"But, a turian? I could understand if you told me he was your best friend, he seemed nice enough, but how did you even..." the woman interrupted herself.

"He was my friend, for some time." Half a smirk formed in her face, as she remembered how it all started with Garrus. "Then, I don't know, he told me this story about himself and some turian woman, I joked about it, he followed the joke... and suddenly the idea didn't seem so crazy at all. I realized I trusted him more than anyone else in the galaxy."

"Again," Hannah shook her head, "it's one thing to trust this guy, but to actually go and have a romantic relationship with him, that's a lot, even for you."

"I just needed someone to be close to. I fell in love with him much later." She smiled. "He really makes me happy, mom."

"Seriously? In every aspect? Spare me the details, but does he..." She paused, searching for the right words. "Is it even possible?"

"Mom!" she laughed. "How can you even ask me that?"

"Because I'm your mother," was the short, unquestionable answer.

"Fine, I'll answer you, but if you were someone else I'd tell you to mind your own business." She paused briefly. "Yeah, it's very possible."

Hannah sighed. "Good, then, I guess. If you're happy, or at least as happy as you'll allow yourself to be, I'm fine with that. You know I've always supported you, and it'll be no different this time."

"Thank you."

"Sure," she said, but her tone was a little uncertain. "Anyway, I was told 'Commander Shepard' wanted to reach me. Is your promotion not effective yet?"

"I turned it down," she said, gesturing with her hand. "I was getting the name, and not the resources. I need the later, I can do without the former."

"Or is it because you didn't want people to confuse the two of us?" she smiled, and added, at her daughter's puzzled expression, "You didn't really think they'd give you just one rank after all, did you?"

"It's nothing like that, mom. I just felt a little... insulted. Not by Hackett, he's a good man, but in general." There was some repressed anger in her voice. "I wasn't getting any answers regarding the Reapers. I mean, I can understand that people didn't believe me when I first heard what Saren was up to, but they made me a Spectre anyway when I could prove he went rogue. Then they didn't believe me about the Reapers, until all hell was unleashed. What did they do? They put me in charge of everything, but they forgot to give me the rank back then. At some point I was leading the damn galaxy's fleet, I ended up doing more than a regular Alliance Admiral, and not that I have anything against Admirals, it's just..."

"Yeah."

"And meanwhile, did the Alliance ever notice I'm a Spectre, or what it means? The Council never had a problem with my actions in Aratoht. I'm not happy about it, but it had to be done. The Reapers were coming before we even knew the blueprints for the Crucible existed. The Council understood, but the Alliance grounded me and made me thank them for not court marshalling me. If I hadn't been grounded we could have learned about the Crucible sooner and more people would be alive." She sighed. "So, anyway, sorry for the rant."

"Not a problem, Melody," she smiled. "Are you upset with the Alliance? Wanna leave?"

"What? No! That's not what I meant at all! I love the Alliance, it's my life, but... I don't want a promotion. As far as I'm concerned, they can roll it and stick it up their asses."

"You're right, rank wouldn't give you anything at this point. What you really need right now is some peace of mind. Promise me you'll pursue it."

"I promise," said Melody.

"Then, take care, Commander Melody Shepard."

"You too, Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard."

Hannah smiled. "Will do. Shepard out."


	11. Ch 11: Theoretical Research I

Chapter 11: Theoretical Research I.

The conversation with her mother had left Commander Shepard emotionally exhausted. She asked for some practice ammo and headed out to the training ground. Shooting at targets wasn't going to provide the kind of adrenaline rush she wanted, but at least it'd allow her to numb her mind a little.

After a few rounds, her aim was perfect again. She smiled, and kept practicing, oblivious to the passing of time. When she ran out of ammo, the sun was setting. She hadn't even noticed how late it was. She put the gun away and looked around.

"Commander!" She heard someone call her, and turned to see it was Major McAllister. Some other soldiers and officials were with him. "We're about to have some dinner, wanna join us?"

"Sure, Major," Melody replied. She realized at that moment that she had forgotten to eat during the day. She shrugged mentally. McAllister introduced her to the group, and they all walked, cracking jokes along the way, back to the base, and to the exit door.

A woman was standing on the street. She was tall and slim, and looked young, probably in her late twenties. She wore a light brown trench-coat, matching shoes, and a silk scarf. The last rays of sun shone on her olive skin and raven-black hair that fell past her shoulders. She possessed an exotic beauty, with a wide nose, thick lips and gray eyes. She smiled and walked toward the group. Some soldiers greeted her and she greeted back, but McAllister went straight to her and took her in his arms. She kissed him lightly on his cheek.

"Commander," he started, turning to Melody, "this is Fairuza Yousif, my wife." He turned to his wife. "Love, this is Commander Shepard."

"No way," said Fairuza, excited. Her accent was noticeable, but she spoke perfect English. "Commander Shepard?" Melody nodded. McAllister stepped away, and his wife approached the Commander and shook her hand energetically. "I admire you so much, thank you for all you did. Oh, but are you all right now? I thought you were still in the hospital. Ian told me he went to school with you, and..."

"Let her breathe, Fairuza," said Ian, amused. He took his wife's hand and the group resumed the walk. The artificial lights overhead turned on as they passed beneath them.

"Of course, of course," said Fairuza, "I didn't mean to overwhelm you, Commander."

"Not a problem," replied Melody. "Yes, I'm fine now, thank you for your concern. It's true I went to school with your husband, but I don't remember him so well. I wasn't very sociable when I was a teen. I do remember he was a good guy, though."

"He still is," Fairuza turned to look at him with eyes filled with love. "The best." She turned back to the Commander. "I have a tendency to talk a lot, please let me know when to shut up."

"If someone is pointing a gun at us," said Melody, "or we are pointing a gun at somebody, that's when you should shut up. Otherwise, I really don't have a problem with you talking, say as much as you want."

"You really don't know what you're signing up for, Commander," commented Ian, as they turned a corner.

"You should listen to your wife, Major," she reprimanded amicably.

"Oh, I listen to her, except when she starts talking about bosons and Higgs and some infinite something that cancels another thing..."

"Renormalization group," said Fairuza boldly, and then turned to Melody. "He does listen to me. He's a love. But he doesn't know physics, no matter how hard I try to explain it to him. It's only fair, I guess, because I don't know how to shoot a gun. I tried to learn but they are so heavy! We decided we're both lost causes."

The group entered a crowded cafeteria. There was a lot of noise and laughter, and a dim, orange light. Some music played in the background. Fairuza took off her coat, revealing a silk dress, cream-colored. She had a good figure, with long, toned legs.

A waiter greeted them. It was obvious, observing his attitude, that the soldiers were regular customers. They took a large table, and the waiter walked away minutes later with their order. The Commander sat next to McAllister's wife.

"Have you been married a long time?" Melody asked Fairuza.

"Three and a half years," she replied. "In fact, we married a week before you were appointed as the first human Spectre. I remember hearing it on the news."

"And you're a scientist?" the Commander asked.

"Physicist, that's right," Fairuza paused. "I graduated in my country, Iraq, but got my PhD at Oxford. I met Ian while I was still a grad student, but we married after I graduated. My parents wanted me to go back to Iraq, but it's not like I was going to just leave him... you can't control who you fall in love with, can you?"

"You sure can't," said the Commander, with a certain chant in her voice. She wondered if Garrus was still talking with Tali.

"Right now," McAllister's wife continued, "I'm in the Mass Relays Collaboration. I felt very honored, of course, when I was selected. My field of expertise is High Energy Physics. Particle Physics, really. Most people don't realize they're practically the same field, but you need a lot of energy to break a proton..."

"I guess I'm one of those people," said Melody. "Science is a big mystery to me."

"But you do know what a proton is." The tone employed by Fairuza was like the one an elementary school teacher would use to ask if students were aware that the sun existed.

"Something inside an atom, if I recall correctly..." replied the Commander, unsure. She made a gesture with her hand, as if she was holding something really tiny.

"Yes, that's right." Fairuza was excited. She moved on her seat. "Protons and neutrons are in the atom's nucleus, while electrons are in its external layers. As it turns out, protons and neutrons are not elementary particles, they have inner structure, the quarks and gluons. The quarks have electric charge, spin, flavor and color... well, it's just a name, really, it's not like you can really taste a quark or see what it looks like. Just like when they named electric charges positive and negative. They could as well have named them type one and type two."

"I get it," said Melody, but she really felt she was about to get lost any minute.

"Well, we have recently discovered that quarks can change flavor when interacting with Element Zero. There are all kinds of theories about it, but my take? I think there's an underlying dark energy field, and we're observing the decay products of some sort of interaction with that field. That's what eezo is for me, but some colleagues disagree."

The waiter came with the order, and Melody welcomed the pause. Her head was starting to spin, but on the other hand, dark energy? Of course she wanted to know more. The woman seemed to be sort of a genius. She wondered if she could trust her.

After a few bites of her sandwich and some gulps of beer, the Commander decided that she had gone as far as she could in understanding Fairuza's theories, but EDI could follow her for sure. She decided to gather everyone and see what could be made of it. She tried to keep a casual conversation while the meal lasted, politely telling the scientist that she was a little lost.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. Melody talked some more with Ian and the rest of the soldiers, drank some more, and eventually got up to leave. She called Garrus with her omni-tool from the cab on her way home. He joked about how drunk she was, but she claimed she was only a little tipsy. She knew she needed those drinks.

When she entered her house, she saw Garrus and Tali sitting on one of the couches in the living room. They were playing some sort of card game, which they dropped.

"Shepard!" greeted Tali. "Come join us! We have great news!"

Melody crossed the small hall and walked past the kitchen's isle in a zig-zag path. She sat next to Garrus, facing Tali.

"Shepard?" asked the quarian. "Are you drunk?"

"Tipsy," intervened Garrus, amused.

"I had a few beers and some shots," replied the Commander, making an effort for her voice to sound clear, "nothing I'm not used to. So, what's the big news, Tali? I've had one hell of a day, so please, if it's bad, it'll have to wait 'til tomorrow."

"It's good!" said Tali, emphasizing the vowel sound. She made a pause. "You see, when you woke up, I spoke to Admiral Hackett. I wanted to know if they were going to give you the Normandy back. It shouldn't be a question, of course, because you're a Spectre, but right now the Alliance has the ship, and it's all a little tricky, considering the council you respond to hasn't been elected yet..."

"Tricky indeed," the Commander nodded.

"Well, the Admiral said the ship was yours, and that they were going to give you a promotion." Tali's body language indicated that she was very anxious about something.

"Yeah, I turned the promotion down," she gestured with her hand, "but I was promised the ship, as soon as there are enough resources to repair it."

"But you didn't count with my people, Shepard," there was a faint reproach in Tali's voice. "We have been repairing ships with next to nothing for centuries. I evaluated the Normandy's condition, and it can be done. She won't look pretty, but she'll fly."

Melody smiled. It was a sincere, genuine gesture, illuminating her heart shaped face. "Hell yeah, it's great! I don't know what I want the ship for right now, but something will come to my mind."

"There was a catch, however," continued Tali.

"Ah, there always is," Melody shrugged. Her face was not so shiny anymore.

"Hackett promised he'd authorize the repairs," said the quarian, "if a Spectre signed for it. A Spectre who wasn't you, he said, for 'transparency', whatever that means in this circumstances."

"But there's a certain turian with contacts among his people," intervened Garrus. "It seems I made an impression among the high ranks, because we had a Spectre's authorization in an hour."

"Garrus can be scary when he's up to it," said Tali, nodding.

"Of course he can," agreed Shepard. "He's Archangel."

"That's not a territory I'd like to go back to, Melody." Garrus seemed a little embarrassed. He scratched the back of his neck with one hand.

"Deal with it," replied the Commander, joyful.

"Anyway," interrupted Tali, pretending to be a little annoyed, "we talked to Hackett again, and he gave us permission to start the repairs right now, so today we transported all the resources we'll need. The work starts tomorrow."

"That's great, Tali," said Melody. "I think I'll sleep with a smile on my face, after all."

"So, Shepard, are we good or not?" asked the quarian.

"The best." She reached for her and took her hand, and grabbed Garrus' hand as well. She squeezed them both. "I don't know what I'd do without you." She released both hands. After a brief pause, she added, "Tali, do you think a ship like the Normandy could make short trips to nearby systems in record time, to gather resources for instance?"

"We'll make her able to do that," assured Tali. "If one ship can be refitted for that purpose, it's the Normandy."

"Great!" the Commander nodded.

"And something came to her mind, alright," Garrus told Tali.

"Right. She's dangerous," Tali replied dramatically. "I'd better leave you now, I'm too young to be in such deadly company. Besides I don't want to see the celebrations you two are surely planning." She stood up and headed for the door.

"You're evil," said Shepard, laughing, as she escorted her outside.


	12. Ch 12: A thorn in the soul

Chapter 12: A Thorn in the Soul

Commander Shepard got out of bed before sunrise. Her dreams hadn't been pleasant, but she couldn't remember them. She knew she had to be thankful for that.

She checked herself on the bathroom mirror, and shook her head upon seeing noticeable bags beneath her eyes. Garrus had asked her how her day had been when Tali had left. Melody had refused to tell him at first, but he insisted. She'd recounted her conversation with Hackett.

When she'd told him about the Cerberus operations, his eyes flared. She realized that many turian gestures of rage were similar to human's. His hands clenched and his teeth ground together. She also noticed a particular vibration of his mandibles and some involuntary movements of his shoulders. She had lowered her head and told him she was afraid of losing him to a Cerberus attack they couldn't prevent. His expression changed immediately, all rage gone as if washed away by cold water. He hugged her.

Then she had gathered courage to speak about her conversation with her mother, and told him how sorrowful Hannah Shepard was about the death of her husband, her true love. Melody had cried herself to sleep in Garrus' arms. She hadn't cried like that since she was a child who missed her friends when she had to leave the world she knew because her parents had been deployed to another colony.

She entered the shower and turned the cold faucet on. The water touched her skin, and she shivered, but still didn't move back. She lifted her face, letting water run over it for a long time. "Pull yourself together," she whispered, and finished bathing.

She took a long breath as she exited the stall, and that sufficed to cleanse her thoughts. Once again she felt strong, ready for anything. She wrapped herself in a towel and returned to the bedroom. Her turian companion stirred on the bed, and opened his eyes.

"Huh?" he said, still drowsy. "How long did I sleep?"

"It's early, Garrus," she told him, as she grabbed a data-pad and sat on the couch. "Go back to sleep."

He pushed the blanket aside and sat up. "No, I'll fix you some coffee."

"Don't you dare," she warned. "Just because you saw me cry yesterday, doesn't mean-"

"Commander Shepard," he interrupted her, fully awake this time, with determination in his voice, "I know you. I've seen you face hell, and I've been there with you. I won't treat you any differently because you need to mourn your father; we've all been mourning since the war ended. We just had more time for it."

"You told me once that turians felt differently," she said softly, "that you were taught from birth that the fight was worth it if there was at least one survivor."

"That's true," he nodded. "However, that doesn't mean we don't grieve. We just..." he paused, looking for words. "handle it in another way. For me... well, I almost lost you. Whenever I left the room in which you were still breathing, your eyes closed, your consciousness gone, I feared I wouldn't see your chest moving when I returned. I needed to be there, whether to make sure you weren't alone if you woke up, or to hold your hand if that one breath was the last." He got up and sat next to her. His eyes were fixed on hers, and she could see the depth of his emotions. "I love you, more than thought I could possibly love someone, more than I thought it was conceivable to even feel. So, let me take care of you."

She lost herself in his eyes, speechless. Melody realized she hadn't stopped to consider how he must have felt during the months she was asleep. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and softly kissed him. He put his arms around her waist, pressing her closer. Then she sat over his legs and laid her head on his shoulder. He absently ran his fingers through her hair.

"I love you, Garrus Vakarian," she whispered after a long time. "And yes, you can take care of me." After a pause, she added. "I had no idea that you'd felt that way, in the hospital."

"I trusted your will to fight," he said in a low voice. "I just wasn't sure that things would go right for me. If life wanted to really screw me up, all it needed to do is to take you away."

"It's over now, Garrus," she kissed him. "Things will go right for you and me. I don't know about the rest, the world, the galaxy, but I love you, I wanna stay with you, and make this work." She paused and looked at him, grinning. "Now, you said something about coffee?"

"The coffee maker is downstairs, and I have a human, wrapped in a moist towel, sitting on my legs," he said in jest.

"You have the problem solving skills of my space hamster," she teased him, chuckling.

When they left the house, it was mid-morning. Garrus had decided to help Tali with the repairs of the Normandy, but he confessed to Melody that he was really curious and wanted to learn how the quarians managed to fix ships with so little resources. Before heading out, Melody had communicated with Liara, and they had agreed to meet at the asari's house.

Liara had an apartment in downtown London. It was small, clean and well lit. Upon entering there was a living room from where the kitchen was visible. Near the kitchen island there was a small round table with two chairs. To the other side of the room she had a couch with a coffee table, near the balcony's entrance. Every piece of furniture was in shades of blue. Liara kept some pots with plants inside, and a part of the balcony's wall garden was visible through the glass doors. The bedroom's door was open, and Shepard could see a bed, a lot of terminals, and Glyph inside.

"The Lair of the Shadow Broker." commented the Commander after sweeping her eyes through the apartment.

"Yes, Shepard." said Liara in a soft voice. "Would you like something to drink?" she asked, standing next to a small light blue fridge.

"No, thank you, I just had breakfast." Melody sat on the couch, with her legs apart. Soon Liara joined, holding a glass filled with orange juice.

"So, how are you adapting to living in a house, with Garrus?" the asari asked. She sipped some juice, and left the glass on the coffee table.

"My feet have been on ships for too long," said the Commander, giggling. "I feel a little strange, to be honest."

"About the house, or Garrus?" asked Liara, her expression unreadable.

"Both?" she replied, smiling, but what she really though was, "_Boy, is she insistent? What's her deal?_". She leaned forward and rested one of her forearms on her knee. "Anyway, the Normandy will get fixed."

"I know," said Liara in a self sufficient tone. "I read all about it yesterday."

"Right. Your spies in high places within the Alliance." Shepard nodded.

"They also told me that you refused your promotion." Liara gesticulated with her hand.

"Yeah, I don't wanna talk about that." She sat straight. "Anyway, I came because I need to have a meeting with all the crew, and I wanna know if you have anything on Major Ian McAllister."

"I did a background check on him, when Admiral Hackett assigned you to his team," said the asari, and Melody made a mental note to check for cameras and spying devices in her own house later. "He's loyal to the Alliance and had impressive results on several missions."

"Have you checked on his wife?" asked Melody.

"Yes, a very prominent scientist, which is unusual for someone that young." Liara paused, and then added, "She graduated in record time."

"Are they trustworthy?" Shepard asked bluntly.

"I'd say so." Liara paused, taking another sip of juice. "Why do you ask?"

"I'll tell everyone about the vision, in that meeting."

"Oh, I see." Liara nodded and finished her beverage in one gulp.

"And that's why I also need to know where Javik is."

"Oh, Javik..." The asari shook her head. "He's not well. He shut himself away a couple of months ago, and he doesn't want to see anyone. Every day I bring him groceries, but he doesn't let me in, I just have to leave them on the floor and step away. He opens the door and takes the bag. I can only see his hands when he does."

Shepard got up like a spring. "Time to pay him a visit."

Liara stood up and walked to the fridge. "Fine, let me grab the bag I was going to give him later."

Javik didn't live far away, so the two women walked. They crossed a small, well kept park. It was a strange view seeing small children with their parents playing in the park, and ruins to the other side.

"He chose to live there," Liara commented as they walked. "He said that, since that part of the city isn't rebuilt yet, he'd be left alone."

Shepard nodded. They climbed over the ruins for a while, until they saw a white trailer stationed on a somewhat plain part. It shone in the midday sun. Liara stopped by the trailer.

"You're kidding me," said the Commander. "This is where he lives?"

"I offered him many different places." replied Liara, shaking her head. "He said he wouldn't accept anything else."

"Last time he checked we'd fucking won, damn pigheaded Prothean." As annoyed as she sounded, her tone didn't quite do justice to her true levels of exasperation. She knocked hard on the door. "Javik!" she called. There was no reply, and she knocked again. "Javik, open the door or I'll break it down!"

"Go away, Commander," the unmistakable voice of Javik spoke from the inside.

"Not a chance," Melody replied.

"I have your groceries," Liara intervened, from the back. There was half a minute of silence.

"You may enter, Commander." Javik said finally, begrudgingly. "The asari stays outside."

"You're 'the asari' again?" Shepard asked Liara, as she grabbed the bag from her.

Liara shrugged. "At least he consents to eat."

The door of the trailer opened, and the Commander stepped in. She was starting to assess the place when she heard the sound of the door closing violently behind her. Javik was standing near it, but he walked away to a nearby table, which he sat at. A foul odor attacked her nostrils. When her eyes adjusted to the faint light inside the trailer, she noticed the memory shard over the table, along with some rotting left-overs of food. There was garbage all over the floor, on the small bed, and over the counters. Something moved in a corner, and she turned to see a giant rat, staring at her with its red eyes.

She left the bag on the table and faced the Prothean. "What the hell is all this, Javik?" she asked, infuriated. "Last time we met, you were washing your hands compulsively, and now this? What's going on?"

"I'm waiting for death, Commander." He looked at the memory shard with his multiple eyes. His tone conveyed real anguish. "I tried to stop eating altogether. I only accepted the food the asari brought me, because she'd insist until I did, but I didn't mean to consume it. I got hungry and I couldn't resist, I wasn't strong enough for that."

"You're an idiot, Javik." She reached for him and grabbed his hand for a second, and then let it go. She waited for his reaction.

He blinked for a little while with all his eyes, and then said in a dispassionate voice, "So, the last Reaper isn't dead yet."

"No, and I need you," she said in a conciliatory tone, standing straight.

"I won't follow you this time," replied Javik, in the same lifeless voice. "This is happening in other galaxies, and for all I care, those races can suffer the same fate of my people. They are not important."

"Always the charming one," commented Shepard. "Listen, Javik, I don't like the idea of the Reapers killing unknown races out there, but there's nothing I can do for them. My concern is that if they still exist, they could come back here, to our galaxy." She walked around his chair.

"I don't care anymore!" There was a trace of despair in his tone. He reached for the memory shard on the table. She grabbed it from him.

"Don't make me destroy this," she threatened him.

"You wouldn't dare," he defied, but there was also a hint of pleading in his eyes.

"Try me." She held the small tablet up in the air, away from him.

"You come here, all proud," he muttered. "but your own pain is crushing your chest. You are trying to lie to yourself, but you're in no better shape than me."

"At least I'm trying to do something instead of bathing in my own filth," she said, annoyed. "Now, you Avatar of Vengeance," she added using her most compelling, commanding voice, "do what you're supposed to. Your mission is not over, the last Reaper didn't meet its end. Go clean yourself and show them what the last Prothean can do."

Javik lowered his head. It was painful to see him like that, but after a moment, he spoke.

"Fine. But give me my shard."

She put it over the table, but didn't let it go. "Only if you promise you won't use it again."

"I promise," he said in a low voice. She let him have it.

"I'll wait outside," she announced. "Have a bath and grab everything you think you'll ever need or miss. You're moving." She pointed back with her thumb.

The Commander felt she needed a shower herself upon leaving the small trailer. However, she waited for Javik to come out, clean, with a small bag holding his few belongings. She let Liara take care of the Prothean's new accommodation, but she escorted them there. It was a small apartment, closer to Liara's. Then, Melody went to her own home and bathed. Since she was there, she checked for spying devices, but thankfully found none.

After having some lunch, she made some calls to find out the current location of Kaidan. She was told he was in the Asari Embassy on Earth, so she headed that way and waited outside. The building was really nice, ivory and shiny. It had a triangular shape, with soft curves to the sides and a large central tower pointing to the sky. Some walls were made of blue glass. It was soothing in a way, but she was not in the mood to appreciate its beauty.

About an hour later, she saw Kaidan walking out, talking with an asari. She crossed their path.

"Major Alenko," Melody called. "may I have a minute of your time, whenever you're free?"

Kaidan seemed surprised to see her. He excused himself with the asari, and walked toward the Commander. The asari reentered the building.

"Shepard?" he said. "I-"

"I saw a coffee shop on the way here," she interrupted him, pointing with her finger to the right. "I don't feel like talking here on the street."

"Of course," he agreed.

They walked in silence until their destination. They entered the small shop, took a table next to a window, and ordered some coffee. The place was rather empty, except for a small group of friends sitting to the opposite wall.

They didn't speak until the waiter came with their beverages, which objectively wasn't a very long time, but it felt like it was because of the awkwardness between them.

"I meant to go and see you," said Kaidan, sounding ashamed. He kept his head a little low, and didn't look her straight to the eyes. "I was gathering courage, because of the way I behaved last time..."

"That's not why I'm here," replied Shepard in a firm voice. She moved a little on her chair.

"Oh, I don't know why you searched for me," he said softly, "but let me apologize. I was selfish, I didn't think of how you felt. It's just that..." He paused, looking at both lateral edges of the table, alternately. "I'm not making excuses, but for five months I thought you'd die, or never wake up, and..." he interrupted himself.

"And there was always a turian sitting by the bed?" she finished.

"Yeah." He grabbed his cup of coffee and took a sip. "Shepard, I'm so sorry," he continued after a pause. "I only recently heard about your father. My deepest condolences."

"Thank you, Kaidan," she said softly and sincerely.

"How are you holding up?" He looked really concerned. He raised his head and looked straight at her.

"It isn't easy," she admitted, "but I'm not the only one in this galaxy that has a lot to heal." The Commander paused. "Kaidan, listen, you're always wrong about me, but I always forgive you. We're good if you want us to be."

"There's nothing I want more." he said, his eyes shining. "I want to be your friend, if you'll let me."

"Sure," she nodded. "Perhaps one day you'll learn who I really am."

"Yeah," He laughed a little. She stirred her coffee, but didn't drink. "I'm glad we could talk about this, and I'm glad you forgave me." He paused and looked at her. "Now, what did you want to talk with me about?"

"I need to have a meeting with all my crew, and like it or not you're part of it, even if you never again fly aboard the Normandy." He smiled, and she continued. "I won't go into the details now, because I will in the meeting. It's about the Reapers."

"What about them?" he asked, confused.

"There are more of them. There are Reapers outside every galaxy of this universe. That's why I need all of you. We have to make sure that if they come back, we'll kick their synthetic assess again. As many times as needed."


	13. Ch 13: A way around the stalemate

Chapter 13: A way around the stalemate

The Reapers attack had not only ravaged every city on Earth and many large rural areas. It also destroyed normal life as humans knew it. Five months later, people were still working hard to rebuild their homes and their lives.

The owner of the small coffee shop near the alien embassies, granted to the races stranded on Earth, sure was eager for the return of normalcy. His only customers at the time were a group of friends laughing, near the wall where he hanged the pictures he could save from old London, and a couple sitting at the other end, at a small table next to a window.

Two empty cups rested on the couple's table. The man had black hair, although he was starting to show a little gray on the sides of his head. Her hair was brown and probably shoulder length, but she kept it held in a ponytail. Both seemed to be in their early thirties, and wore Alliance military uniforms.

The people in the little coffee shop weren't aware of who they were. Their names were widely known, but not everybody could associate them with their faces. The Alliance had been careful of digitally modifying many pictures and vids of Commander Shepard, or she'd never be left alone. Of course, still many people could recognize her, but she wouldn't have liked becoming a celebrity.

She had mentioned to her companion what she learned about the Reapers from her vision, but she didn't want to go into much detail. Instead, they talked about trivial matters. Sanity check, had he called it once?

She looked at him while they talked, thinking of how he had changed since the first time they'd met. He was more mature, and it was noticeable. She could also perceive how he felt for her, even if he hadn't told her. She couldn't feel the same way about him, but not because he wasn't handsome or lacked virtues. She simply believed he'd never understand her, not at least to the degree she needed. For that reason she could never give her heart to him, even if she hadn't given it to someone else.

The conversation drifted to his political concerns about the new galactic council. He expressed that he could use her advise.

"So, where are we on that?" Shepard asked, her hand absently playing with the empty cup.

"Honestly?" Kaidan shrugged. "I don't really understand how did they manage to have a council before."

"That bad, huh?" the Commander shook her head.

"The problem is that asari and salarian want a council just like it was before," he explained, gesturing with his hands alternatively, "while turian and we humans want to have a stronger council, with more autonomy and resources. The asari are being obnoxious, saying that we haven't been on the council for so long to know how things work, and then our vote shouldn't count the same as theirs."

"Did you mention that they are so wise," the Commander narrowed her eyes and her breath rhythm increased, "that they lost Thessia because they couldn't trust us before?"

"I didn't think that bringing that up was a good idea," said Kaidan slowly. "They are susceptible about what happened."

"Yeah, right," she snorted, "but they had the information we needed all along, and they remembered about it a little too late. Hadn't we found Cerberus headquarters, and we wouldn't be speaking, Kaidan." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and then looked straight at him. "But you're right, we wouldn't gain much with that approach at this point."

She waved at the waiter, and asked for another coffee. Kaidan ordered some tea. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts, pondering something. Minutes later the waiter left their order on the table and walked away.

"What are you thinking?" asked Kaidan.

"That I don't want another council telling me nothing can be done," she grimaced, "until there's people dying on their worlds."

"You really do believe the Reapers are coming back, don't you?" Kaidan's tone was bitter.

"Remember that scientist back on Eden Prime, when it all started? The guy who claimed he wasn't mad, but the only sane one left?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "I remember. I think his name was Dr. Manuel."

"Well, Kaidan, I feel like that," she lowered her ocean blue eyes and took a long breath. She looked like she had a deep pain in her chest. After a while, she added, "Anyway, let's pretend I didn't have the vision about Reapers outside other galaxies, and that we actually destroyed the last one of them. We'll still need a strong council for peacekeeping, in the long run."

"I'm with you on that," he took a sip from his cup, "but I really don't know what else to do."

She added sugar to her coffee and stirred it. Her eyes focused on the black liquid in motion, like she could read some kind of revelation from the steaming beverage. After a few minutes, she raised her head and looked straight at the Major, her eyes narrowed as if she was having an idea. He looked at her with caution, because she had the expression that her thoughts were far from reasonable.

"The asari lost Thessia, and more than half their population, right?" she asked.

"Yes..." he said slowly.

"What about their current military strength?" she asked with a vibrant tone, like her ideas were unfolding right before her eyes. "Is it up to the standards required from races participating in the council?"

"What are you suggesting, Shepard?" he sounded alarmed. "Cutting the asari out of the council?"

"Nothing like that," she denied with her head. " What I'm saying is, how much stronger are the asari, right now, than for instance the volus? If all races have to prove themselves to join the council, had they not done that by giving us their bombing fleet?" She drank some coffee, and added, "The volus are a client race of the turian, so they'll side with them. Not to mention, Kaidan, the turian have another element of negotiation to put on the table, and so do we."

"What do you mean?" he sounded confused.

"The krogan, of course," she paused, and half a smile formed in her face. "Normally I'd hate to manipulate people's fear, but I'm pissed off. The salarian truly believe the krogan will upraise again and declare war on them. However, we helped them cure the genophage, and the turian were on their side."

"So," he started slowly, following her line of reasoning, "you're saying we can win the salarian over by making them believe we can control the krogan?"

"Let's raise the stakes," she made a dramatic pause. "I know the krogan are not a council race. Wrex asked for an embassy, but it could be centuries from now until they get it, if they ever do. However they sure saved turian assess. What if they could get permission to colonize one or two worlds, and perhaps have an actual, minimal fleet, if they accepted the council's rules and were offered a seat?"

"I'd say you're crazy and that the coma severely affected your brain."

"No, Kaidan, think about it," she looked at him intently, her eyes sparkling with determination. "The way you describe it, we are at a stalemate, right? You admitted you didn't know what else to do. The salarian would be less worried, and the krogan's energy would be focused in something else than war..."

"They don't even have an unified government. I don't think they'd all agree to something like that," his tone was categorical. He sipped some tea.

"Have you asked them?" she smiled, and drank the rest of her coffee. "I think they would. Most of them anyway, but all races have dissidents... even we do."

"Still, Shepard, letting the krogan have a fleet?"

"A small fleet, and only if they accept the council rules and commit to galaxy's peacekeeping," she leaned forward on her seat. "Kaidan, you saw the same as I did, on Tuchanka. Their society was destroyed by the genophage, the power balance among genders lost because of it. Now they have a new chance, and the females will take it, believe me on that."

"Even if that's the case, what you propose is hard to negotiate..."

"You can pull that off, Alenko."

"No. **You **can pull that off," he stressed. "I'm not the one who made possible the impossible, not to mention I'm still not convinced this is a good idea."

"If you can think of something better, something that could at the same time keep the krogan at bay and create a strong council, I'm all ears."

He lowered his head, thoughtful. None of them spoke for a while, as he seemed to be considering her ideas. He slowly finished his tea, unaware of the world around, the group laughing at the other end of the shop, the people walking down the street they could see out the window. He didn't even seem to notice when she called the waiter and payed for everything they'd consumed.

"I guess you're right," he finally said, "but still, only you could convince everyone involved. I'm not the right person for the job."

"Don't give me that bullshit," she narrowed her eyes and sat straight. "You have better diplomatic skills than me, I'd end up yelling at everybody."

"Yeah, you would," he smiled, "but you yell and people listen."

"Fine," she said, laughing, "if that's what you want, I'll yell then. But you come with me." She looked at him with a serious expression. "Oh, and I have to ask, do we have a name for the next human councilor?"

"Not yet. We still don't have anyone strong enough."

"Oh, I think we do," the Commander said with a grin. "I think I'm looking at him."

"What?" he said, startled. "You've lost your mind."

"I don't think anybody could do a better job than yourself, Kaidan. You really care, you're talented and you became a symbol. You only need to believe in yourself."

"What about you, Shepard?" he asked. "People listen to you, and you're a bigger symbol..."

"Hmm..." she started, "I think we humans need a less controversial representation. Perhaps someone who didn't work with Cerberus, or destroyed a system, killing an entire colony..."

"I get your point," he said, nodding.

"If you ask me, I believe the Alliance had the same idea about you, and that's why you're the person organizing the meetings and leading the negotiations for our race."

"What?" he seemed even more shocked than before. "That can't be right..."

"Why not?" she smiled and tilted her head slightly. "Think about it. You conduit the negotiations, speak with all the other races, and everybody gets to know you and appreciate you. They familiarize with you and observe your diplomatic skills. Your name emerges naturally for the position."

"Do you..." he paused and looked at her. "Do you really think I'm the best option?"

"Absolutely," she put her forearms on the table. "I've seen what you're capable of, we all have aboard the Normandy. It's your turn to realize of all your talents. I trust you."

"I..." he interrupted himself, and then continued. "I'll think about it."

She answered only with a smile.

* * *

**NOTE:** This is Shepard pissed off for you... Does it mean anyone other than Alenko will even listen to her? We'll see...


	14. Ch 14: Scars

Chapter 14: Scars

When they parted ways, Alenko and Shepard had agreed on trying to incorporate the volus to the council, and not bringing out the idea she had about the krogan yet. She didn't tell him that she also had the quarian in mind, mostly because she couldn't find a reasonable argument to include them in the discussion. She knew the quarian had had an embassy and that they were expelled about the geth incident. However, she felt they deserved a place among the council races after what they had done for the galaxy. She just still hadn't found the words to make other people see her point of view.

During the next following days, she kept herself busy. She met McAllister's team and exchanged ideas with them. She was pleased to see that Samantha Traynor had been added to the team, and that the specialist seemed content about working with them.

Shepard also took some time to talk with Admiral Hackett, and asked him if he had suggestions about the next human councilor. The Admiral admitted he had thought several names, one of them being Major Alenko.

"I don't know if he would accept, though," had said Hackett. "I think he'd prefer keeping his Spectre status."

"He'll do whatever is best for us, for humanity and for the Alliance," had replied Melody.

"Yes," he had paused, "but he's a biotic. You know they aren't trusted among the civilian population."

"About time we stop discriminating each other," had said Shepard narrowing her eyes. "I think we've had enough discrimination from the aliens as it is. Udina wasn't a biotic and look what he's done, maybe if people see a biotic doing a great job they'd shut their damn mouths."

Shepard had also visited Urdnot Wrex and asked him about the situation with the krogan. Wrex admitted that some of his people were getting reckless and wanted to crush salarian skulls. She had asked him if he needed help crushing rebel krogan skulls, and he had laughed. "That's my sister!" he had said. He promised to keep her posted.

Melody also visited the hospital, partly because of the promise Garrus had made in her name the day he took her home ("_Home!_" she had though, feeling strange about the word) and partly because she wanted to speak with doctor Chakwas. She had spent a few hours talking with veterans and civilians, lifting their spirits and answering their questions as long as they weren't too personal. Then she had searched for the doctor.

"May I have a few words with you," she had asked Chakwas when she found her, "in private?"

The doctor had nodded and led her to an empty room. Then she had asked, "What is it, Commander?"

"I don't know how to ask this so I just will," Shepard had said. "My mother made me promise her that I'd search help. I can hardly sleep, and when I do I'm having bad dreams. I'm anxious all the time, and she thinks I wanna bury myself in work to avoid thinking. I believe... she might be right."

"You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel like that," had said Chakwas, "after all you'd been through. Don't worry, Commander, the Alliance has the resources to help their soldiers. I'll find you someone. I know you'd also like discretion."

She had thanked the doctor, and let her know she was about to call a meeting for the Normandy's crew and a few other people she trusted.

Shepard also took some time to visit Primarch Victus and also meet some of Garrus' contacts and friends among the turians. She learned from them that they were worried because of the discrimination they were suffering from some human factions. She promised she'd look into that. The next day, she contacted Diana Allers to help her design a media campaign against discrimination among races. Allers asked for an exclusive interview* in return, to which she agreed as long as her face was digitally modified the same way the Alliance did with older vids of her.

Reluctantly, she also visited the psychiatrist that Chakwas recommended her, doctor Dunard**. She didn't like having to see him, but she also wanted to be able to sleep. The nightmares were getting worse, and in the most vivid ones she relived some of the physical pain she felt when she was wounded, during the Battle of the Crucible. She didn't speak about it when she woke up, but she could notice the worried look in Garrus' face.

After two weeks and a few days of her talk with Tali, she received a call from the quarian asking to meet her on the hangars. She rushed there, and found Garrus already waiting outside the building.

"You took your sweet time to get here," the turian said. "Did I ever mention that turians don't like cold weather?"

"A few times actually," she answered, pushing him inside. The door closed behind them. "You didn't have to wait outside, you did because you wanted to so don't blame it on me," she looked around expectantly. "So, where is she?"

"Tali, or your ship?" he asked, chuckling. He started walking, and she followed him. The hangar was a big structure, with several floors, corridors, storage rooms and space for several ships. They climbed a few stairs and reached a wide corridor.

"Over here, Shepard!" they heard the vibrant voice of Tali ahead. The three of them entered a room with a large window. Shepard remembered when she was first shown the Normandy SR-2, built by Cerberus, and the emotions she had experienced standing next to Joker.

This time was like that, but not quite. The Normandy stood there, out the window, protected by the hangar's roof, but it didn't show the glory of the days past. Although it had been painted, the fixes to the hull were noticeable. Some non essential parts from the design had been removed, the materials probably used elsewhere. The ship was scarred, just like her Commander. Most of the scars Shepard showed when she awakened in Cerberus' base had faded, but she had new ones, from the Battle of the Crucible. So did the Normandy. It fitted, she thought. She smiled.

"I know she doesn't look great," said Tali, "but she'll fly. We're still working on the engine, but the rest is done."

Shepard leaned on the window, and could see several quarian busy on the ground, entering the ship or getting out, carrying boxes or parts.

"She's an old soldier," commented Melody, "just like the rest of us..."

Tali nodded. Garrus lowered his head, lost in his own thoughts.

"Would you like to go inside?" asked Tali.

The Commander pushed herself out of the window. "I thought you'd never ask," she said, her compelling voice burdened with emotion.

Tali opened another door, and the three climbed down some stairs until they reached the ground level. As they approached the vessel, the quarian saluted.

They entered the Shuttle Bay. It had been adjusted, to fit the resources they were to bring to Earth from nearby systems. Some patches on the walls and floor were made from a different material, it was noticeable at first sight even when they had almost the same color. On the bright side, she noticed there weren't any more cables on the ground. The Commander made no comments. She headed straight for the elevator, followed by her two loyal companions.

Their walk through the fourth deck was brief, as not to disturb the quarian still working there. The Starboard and Port cargo rooms looked almost as they had before. The group took the elevator to the Crew Deck.

Melody Shepard approached the memorial wall when she left the elevator. Two names had been added: James Vega and David Anderson. Her index finger slowly traced the names. At her side, Tali and Garrus stood silent. The three of them lowered their heads, almost at the same time, and each mourned in silence.

A few minutes later, Shepard turned and started walking. She entered each room, remembering the people who she could normally find in each, on her rounds. Thane Krios on the life support, Miranda Lawson on her office, than later was taken by Liara, Mordin Solus working on the genophage cure on the med bay, Legion on the AI core...

"So many ghosts," she murmured.

"Are you all right?" the worried double toned voice of Garrus asked from her side.

"Yes," the Commander shook her head. "I guess we just had to keep going and didn't have time to mourn them all..." she looked at her companions. "I didn't have time."

"We could have a memorial ceremony for our fallen," said Tali.

"Yes, we should do that," Shepard nodded.

They headed back to the elevator. The place where the galaxy map should have been was dark, devoid of life. Tali commented it would be restored when the engines were ready. The rest of the deck looked almost as it had before. No more boxes piled in a corner, but the patches from different materials were noticeable, even more than on the other decks. The effort the quarian had put into fixing the ship was remarkable, because even when the repairs were obvious, they had tried everything to look the same. Or better, because there were no cables on the floor in any part of the ship. She headed again for the elevator.

"Your cabin suffered the most damage," Tali commented.

"The hull was basically... gone," Garrus added.

"So..." Shepard turned to look at Tali. "What about the model ships, the hamster...?"

"Liara retrieved each model ship, and fixed them piece by piece," said Tali. "The hamster escaped, it was a real pain rescuing it from under the decks."

"You tell me," said Shepard chuckling. "The little one is a survivor, it deserves a medal or something."

"And the fishes..." continued the quarian, "well, I hope you like Earth species just as much as you liked fishes from around the galaxy..."

"Honestly I didn't notice, so I guess I do."

They exited the elevator and entered the cabin. She stood at the entrance, impressed. It looked great, even better than before. There were no patches of different materials, everything she used to have in there was in the proper place. There were no boxes at the head of her bed. The roof had the large window she loved so much, from where she could see the stars when she was laying on her bed...

"Wait a minute," Shepard turned to look at Garrus. "This bed is larger."

"My idea," intervened Tali.

She looked at the quarian with a smirk on her face, but said nothing. Instead, she pointed to the elevator. They took it to the Shuttle Bay, and from there they exited the Normandy.

"So, she's alive," she said when they were out of the ship. "Let's celebrate, drinks are on me. So are emergency induction straws, Tali," she chuckled softly.

"Sorry Commander, you won't get the privilege of seeing me drunk again," said the young quarian. "That was once in a lifetime."

"You owe me at least another time, then," retorted Shepard. "One and a half, really."

"Not funny," commented Garrus, and both women noticed that he meant it. The human took the turian's hand, and the three of them exited the building.

The next day she called the people she wanted to attend the meeting. Since they were on Earth, everybody, alien or human, had adopted normal Earth's work schedule. Therefore she scheduled the meeting for the following Saturday. She mentioned Garrus that she had never used names of the days of the week since she had graduated from the Academy, and he told her that on Palaven the week lasted six days but only one was non-working.

"Of course," she commented, chuckling "turians don't need leisure time."

"Neither does a certain human I know," he said.

"A human who picked you up after you had no place to go?"

"Twice," he said as he hugged her.

* * *

* I want to write it eventually. Searching for inspiration...

** I actually wrote the first session and posted it as chapter 1 of another story (A soldier's heart). There's absolutely no need to read it to understand this story.


	15. Ch 15: Theoretical Research II

**NOTE:** I really did try to keep the scientific explanations simple. This is a sci-fi story after all, but I promise there won't be a lot more of "sci" in the next chapters, not perhaps until chapter 70 or so. I really don't know, I have a plan for the story but not chapter by chapter. :)

* * *

Chapter 15: Theoretical Research II.

It was pouring when the human Commander and the turian sniper left their home, headed for the Alliance's hangars. They slipped into a cab, as Garrus commented:

"I don't really like rain."

"You don't like rain, or snow, or cold," Shepard listed. "Got it. When you're done complaining, think you can drive us to the Normandy? No rush."

He laughed and started driving. He had seen – and suffered – his Commander's driving skills, back on the Normandy SR-1. He wasn't particularly eager of letting her drive.

"I don't like cold because turians suffer from it a lot," Garrus continued, "but with rain, my problem is the concept. Water falling from the sky? It's just too strange."

She looked at him, narrowing her eyes. She was trying to determine if he was serious. Finally, she laughed softly, ignoring his offended glare. She felt truly happy in his company. She lay back on her seat, lost in the memories of the many times the turian had brought her some peace of mind, when she herself could find none.

They arrived at the hangars early. They made it to the mess hall, where Shepard had summoned everyone. Joker and EDI were already there.

"Hey Commander!" Joker saluted, from a chair he was sat on, at the large table. "Nice weather. Why don't we do this meeting at the park instead?" he paused, and then added, "So, this quarians? Sure they manage with ships. One would think they don't see what they're doing, with the helmets and everything..."

"You only say that because Tali isn't here yet," Shepard told him amused, sitting in front of her pilot and the... mobile platform of the ship's AI. Garrus sat next to the Commander.

"I wouldn't say anything about the quarians in front of Tali. She's a good girl and all, but I don't want to be on her wrong side."

"And she has a shotgun," added Garrus.

"Tali'Zorah is on the Engineering Deck," informed EDI.

At that moment they could hear the sound from the elevator's door. Liara and Javik joined them. The asari greeted them and sat next to EDI. The prothean stood near the wall, without saying a single word.

"Javik!" said the pilot. "Charming as ever, I see."

"Joker..." warned Shepard.

"Oh, yes. Hello." said Javik. The Commander swiveled around to look at him. He seemed to be in a better mood than the last time she spoke to him. That had to be enough. She had never seen the prothean truly happy or even content about anything, but at least he wasn't suicidal anymore.

Tali appeared a moment later, seeming very excited. She said hello to everyone, in a vibrant voice. Garrus and Joker exchanged a very brief, meaningful look. The quarian didn't seem to be aware of it, but Shepard caught it. "_What did I miss?_" the Commander thought, but didn't say anything. She glanced at Liara, but the expression on the asari hadn't changed.

Just a minute later, a group of humans made their appearance on the mess hall: Kaidan Alenko, Steve Cortez, Samantha Traynor, Gregory Adams, Karin Chakwas, Ian McAllister and Fairuza Yousif.

"Yey!" said Joker. "The Alliance team!"

"And guest," said Fairuza.

Shepard got up from her seat, and walked to the head of the table.

"Thank you all for coming," she said. "I know some of you haven't met Major McAllister or Doctor Yousif," she made a gesture to each, "but I'll introduce everyone in a minute. Or two, we'll see. Meantime feel free to grab something to drink."

Traynor offered to prepare coffee, and some people accepted. The young specialist brought the steaming cups a moment later. Tali walked away, and came back with two glasses filled with some sort of juice. She left one in front of Garrus, and drank from the other with a straw.

Liara glanced interrogatively at Shepard, but the asari only received a slight grin in response. However, she didn't have to wait long for an answer to her unspoken question. Two large figures emerged from behind the Commander, one of them with a hump taller than his head and distinct scars, the other looking younger.

"Ah, Shepard!" said Wrex. He walked forward until he was next to the Commander. Grunt stood next to him, and punched his own hand as a means of salute. "Good to be here on the Normandy!"

"You're late, Urdnot," said Melody, but she seemed to be more pleased to see them than upset about their short delay.

"Sorry," apologized Wrex. "We ran into some problems. They don't exist anymore."

"Not all krogan are perfect like me," added Grunt.

Shepard shook her head slowly and quickly glanced at all the people she gathered. She recognized the same question on Liara's and Kaidan's eyes: they were confused about the krogan's presence. She gave them both a brief but reassuring look. However she wondered to herself why would she even need to do that.

The Commander briefly introduced everyone, and then she began talking, pacing back and forth meanwhile.

"You are all here because I trust you," she said, looking at each. "Some of you already know what I want to say. I didn't have time to speak with all of you," she paused, stopped in front of them, and told them in a low-pitched voice: "You cannot repeat to other people anything of what I'll say. Things are... delicate, you probably know this better than me because you were awake all this time."

All the people gathered there – all _her_ people – nodded, and some also gave her a brief smile or a salute.

"Most of you fought with me, bled with me," Shepard continued, resuming her pacing. All faces were fixed on her. "We faced extinction, and against all odds, we're still here. Our survival didn't come without a price, but we need to honor those who gave their lives. Make sure they didn't die in vain."

At that point she stopped again, and looked at each face. She retold everything that happened from when she was running towards the Conduit, to the moment she lost consciousness inside an Alliance shuttle. She talked about her vision of Anderson and the Illusive Man, the ghostly child that gave her impossible choices, the vision of the Normandy stranded on a jungle planet. She told them what happened when she woke up half buried in rubble, how she came to the conclusion that the Reapers had tried to indoctrinate her. She spoke about the dark energy patterns she saw, and how she understood that each pattern represented the Reapers outside each galaxy of the Universe. She spared no detail, and nobody dared interrupting her. When she was done talking, silence fell on the assembly like a heavy curtain.

A moment later, Joker broke the silence:

"Yey! Reapers everywhere!" he said. "Don't you love it when your galaxy isn't special anymore? We get some more play time with Sovy and Harby, because, hey, it was so much fun! We only need a few more Crucibles, like... how many galaxies did you say again there are?"

"I really don't know if they **are** coming back," said Shepard, "but we have to be prepared in case they do. I'm telling you all this because I need your help."

"We're all here for you," said Cortez.

"Sure we are," said Kaidan, nodding. "What I find odd among other things, is that this ghost child you spoke about would even offer the destruction of the Reapers, being that he was only an hallucination from the Reapers themselves..."

"She took the option," said Liara, "and the Reapers weren't destroyed. They were only playing with her mind. It's also possible that the option was created by Shepard's mind, in her attempt to resist the indoctrination."

"Yeah," Alenko said, "but still I don't get it. Why would they even need to play with her mind?" He looked at her, and added, "I'm glad you made it, Shepard, but if I was a Reaper and you were lying on the floor, severely wounded, I would have just let you die. Why take all the trouble to try to indoctrinate you, thus exposing your mind to their secrets and their dark energy patterns?"

"I have no idea, Kaidan," Shepard said, honestly.

"Commander," intervened Fairuza, from the chair she was sat on, "not to play the devil's advocate here, but I want to get all the facts straight," the scientist paused and Shepard nodded. "First of all, let me say I don't doubt your word about the dark energy patterns-"

"You believe that I believe it," interrupted Shepard, quoting the words the asari councilor told her once, when she had been brought back to life by Cerberus and tried to get the council's aid in her fight against the Collectors and the Reapers.

"I'm a scientist," continued Fairuza, "and my work consists on proposing hypothesis, and then testing them with observational data. I wouldn't dismiss your words a priori. I agree with you that we have to be prepared in case they come back, but the more information we have, the better we can ready ourselves."

"That's why you're here," admitted the Commander, "even though I spoke very little with you."

The scientist smiled, and said, "I'm honored," she made a brief pause. "About the dark energy patterns that you described, well, their mere existence goes in line with my current research. It's hard not to get excited by the notion, and that's why I need to be cautious," she looked at Melody. "Are you sure that Admiral Anderson made use of said patterns when he reached the Citadel? Is it possible that he found something else up there, that resonated with the Crucible and disintegrated the Reapers?"

"I guess we'll never know," said Shepard in a gloomy voice, shaking her head.

"We could know," stepped in Javik, moving away from the wall. "I saw the patterns from your mind, Commander. If we retrieve the fragments of the Citadel, I could study them, see if I can find the traces of Anderson and what he did."

"Can... protheans do that?" Fairuza asked, amazed.

"Yes," said Liara. "Javik can read the clues left by experience on cells and DNA."

"It will only work," clarified the prothean, "if we find his cells from **after** he activated the Crucible."

"And we also could give him a proper burial. I'd say the Normandy has her first mission," said Shepard, with a light smirk.

"And here I was," commented McAllister, amused and smiling, "thinking that you received your orders from me."

"I can't believe you were so deluded," said Kaidan, also smiling.

"If you have specific orders," remarked Shepard, "I'll do what you say, McAllister. So far your only order was to stand by..."

"The one thing that Shepard can't do," commented Tali.

"I see," said McAllister, nodding to Tali. "Don't worry, Commander, if I need to get something done I'll tell you. To be honest, right now I'm more worried about your vision than about anything else. I've been told how the council ignored all the visions you had before."

"They made a hobby out of ignoring her," commented Garrus.

"I can't tell for sure that more Reapers are coming to this galaxy," said the Commander. "I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt to be prepared. Build another Crucible and find out how the Catalyst worked, just in case."

"I'm still confused about something," said Kaidan, looking straight at Shepard. "How do you know that all the different patterns you saw, meant different groups of Reapers, one for each galaxy? I mean, even if Anderson did use one pattern to defeat them, the other patterns could mean a number of other things..."

"I can't explain that," said Shepard. "I just **knew**, when I saw them."

"Her mind has been shaped from experience," remarked Javik, "from her previous encounters with our beacons and the Reapers themselves. All of this encounters had given her a basic level of understanding, perhaps near to what a toddler of my own people would grasp."

"Thank you Javik," said the Commander, crossing her arms over her chest, "I feel a lot better now."

"It would make sense, though," commented Fairuza. "If dark energy can form patterns and structures, and each galaxy resonated to a pattern, it would finally explain cosmological expansion..."

"That's what I was telling EDI the other day," joked the pilot and turned to the body controlled by the AI. "You see, EDI? I was right, you have to listen to me."

"You didn't..." started EDI, and then she paused, "oh, it was a joke," she made another brief pause. "It's really not hard to understand, Jeff. As far as we know, dark energy is responsible for the accelerated expansion of the Universe."

"A true AI?" asked the scientist. "That's great, I'd like to talk to you later." Fairuza stood up from her chair, and adopted the attitude and tone of a teacher. "Do you people know what are the effects of dark energy?"

"If this is a science thing," said Grunt, "I'll come back later, when you talk about killing stuff."

"Grunt," Wrex reprimanded him, "if Shepard wants you here you stay here, no matter how bored you are."

"I'm not good with science myself," said the Commander, "but I'm sure the Doctor will spare us the long explanation..."

"Oh, please, it's just Fairuza," said the scientist, and Shepard made a curt nod. "About dark energy... well, I'll try to make it brief and avoid technical terms. I'm sure you heard about the theory that the Universe started with a singular event, I'll call it an explosion, for simplicity. I was amazed to realize that different races share this theory, even though they use other names for it. We humans call it the Big Bang."

"Ha! I like that name!" commented Wrex, and turned to Grunt. "See? Science can be fun."

The younger krogan only replied with a growl, but he made no attempts to leave the mess hall of the Normandy.

"We came to the conclusion that the Big Bang existed," Fairuza continued, smiling to Wrex, "because we see today that the Universe is expanding. Galaxies are all traveling away from each other, really fast in cosmological scales. The thing is: if it this expansion started with an explosion, and it was very violent at the beginning of the Universe, the expansion itself should be slower now. The problem is that it isn't. The Universe is expanding faster now than when it was very young. We believe this happens because a new type of interaction, probably opposed to gravity. It's really more complex but you may think of it as some sort of anti-gravity, and we call it dark energy."

"That's amazing," commented Traynor. "How do scientist even know that?"

"Well, it-"

"Not to be rude," interrupted Shepard with a smirk dancing on her face, "but the quarians really put a lot of effort on repairing the Normandy. I don't want Grunt to destroy it yet. You can ask her later."

"Of course, Commander," said the specialist.

"I have a question," started Tali. "Is it possible that dark energy could make a star get old in a matter of a few years?"

"Absolutely!" replied the scientist. "Stars fight between gravity and nuclear fusion, and... well, to keep it simple, a star dies when one of this processes loses. However, if we could inject dark energy into a star, and if we are correct about dark energy opposing gravity, then you'd have the star running only on nuclear fusion. That's an old star. Of course, the process is a lot more complex, I'm just giving you a general overview."

"It really does kill you to be unable to explain in full detail," commented McAllister, amused, "doesn't it?"

"I can keep it brief," said Fairuza glaring at him, but from the shine on her eyes anyone could tell that she wasn't upset at all.

Tali looked at the Commander. "Remember the sun on Haestrom, Shepard?"

"Sure do," said Melody.

"Yeah," commented Garrus, "not sure turians are meant to be fried, but that sun really did try to do that with me."

"You mean, it really happened?" asked Fairuza. "I thought it was an hypothetical question..."

"Yes, it happened," replied Tali. "My people came to the conclusion that the dark energy was responsible, but nobody knows how or why."

"That is so strange," continued the scientist. "We believe that dark energy is a field... I mean, something that is everywhere, permeating all the Universe... but it should be almost constant in every point of space. What you describe with this sun can only be explained if there was a peak of dark energy..." she looked at all the presents with a grim expression, "or if someone could manipulate dark energy and inject a lot of it inside this star."

"Someone like the Reapers, you mean?" asked Shepard, but from her tone, the particular shine on her eyes and her arms crossed over her chest, it was obvious that she knew the answer already.

"Yes," answered Fairuza. She seemed to be thinking something. She lowered her eyes. "This... this could all make sense. If dark energy has patterns, structure, and it's different for every galaxy, it would explain why galaxies repulse each other, why are they traveling apart from each other so fast," she made a brief pause. "We already know that eezo changes... well, it changes ordinary matter, it turns one type of matter into another. My theory - that is yet to be proven or even accepted by the scientific community – is that eezo is just a decay product from the interaction with the dark energy field. It would certainly also explain biotic powers and the ability of biotics to play with gravity."

Liara and Kaidan both seemed suddenly more interested.

"For clarity," continued the scientist, "ordinary matter, dark matter and dark energy are not to be confused. They are quite different and have very distinct properties. Ordinary matter, that is, the stuff from which stars, planets, nebulae, even ourselves are made, only make up for about four percent of all the total mass-energy of the Universe. Dark matter constitutes about twenty three percent, and we humans found the lightest DM particles last century*, but of course that asari found them earlier. Dark matter interacts only with gravity, in about the same way than ordinary matter. The rest of the total mass-energy of the Universe, that is, seventy three percent... is dark energy."

"The void between galaxies," commented Liara, in a soft voice.

"Exactly," said Fairuza. "In that void, there is no ordinary matter or dark matter... only dark energy."

"And Reapers," commented Javik.

"Well, on the bright side," started Kaidan, "if we could figure out the connection between the Reapers and dark energy, we could deal with them if they come back, right?"

"Of course," said Fairuza, "if we knew how to control dark energy."

"That's your job," said Shepard.

"We know so little about dark energy..." lamented the scientist. "But perhaps we could figure something out from the patterns you saw, if you could describe them..."

"I suppose I could," said Melody, "but I'm not sure that I remember every detail."

"I can help with that," stepped in Javik. He seemed to be full of enthusiasm. Liara looked at the prothean, surprised. He didn't look anything like the man who wanted to die a couple of weeks ago.

"Thank you, Javik," said the Commander in a low voice. "That'll be helpful."

Shepard looked at her people, her friends, old and new. There were still a lot of questions on her mind, but she knew they'd have to wait. She had a course of action, things she could do to start bringing light to the subject.

Everybody kept silent for a while, lost in their own thoughts. When they started talking again, it wasn't about the Reapers or the dark energy. Some people congratulated Tali for the repairs on the ship. Shepard decided to bring up the other topic on her mind.

"During the war," said the Commander, "we couldn't have a memorial ceremony for our fallen, the people who served on the Normandy and gave their lives for the rest of the galaxy. I'd like to do that now, with all of you."

* * *

* Since the search for dark matter is ongoing now, for instance at the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, and provided that we've already found a Higgs-like particle, that probably IS the Higgs we were looking for... let's be optimistic and say the LHC will also find dark matter particles. Yey for the big expensive collider! Huh... ok, there are other experiments looking for DM. But I don't care.

BTW, dark matter and dark energy are real scientific concepts, I didn't make them up for the story, and I described their real properties (sort of... I don't really think dark energy can change ordinary matter for instance...) but of course I don't know if any of those interact with eezo, or if eezo even exists. It'd be cool, though.


	16. Ch 16: Ghosts aboard

Chapter 16: Ghosts aboard.

Silence fell on the mess hall of the repaired SSV Normandy SR-2 when Commander Shepard announced that she had planned a memorial ceremony for their fallen. She had summoned the people she trusted the most for a meeting to discuss her latest vision. When there was nothing left to say about it, she moved easily to the next thing she had in mind. She suggested she wanted all of them to stay for the ceremony, but the problem with Shepard was that nothing that she said, ever, was simply a suggestion. She had a compelling voice, a natural leadership that made most people just do what she wanted, even if she wasn't yelling orders around her. Her vibrant voice had dissuaded enemies and forged impossible alliances.

Melody Shepard was a woman of action. If she wanted to get something done, she did it right away. She could have scheduled the ceremony for another day, but that would have meant letting all her people go away, only to making them go to the Normandy at another time. It didn't occur to her that the ceremony could be held at any other place. She knew that there was going to be, perhaps, an official memorial ceremony later on, but this was for her crew, her family. It didn't matter that there were two people who never served on the ship; she hadn't known them for long, but still she trusted them enough to be there.

She walked from the mess hall, to the space between the elevator and the memorial wall. Those who were sitting got up, and those who were standing just followed her, without saying a word. There wasn't enough room for all of them, so they had to accommodate in two rows, forming half a circle around the memorial wall. Shepard stood ahead of them, nearest to the wall. She touched it lightly, and then turned around, facing her people.

"We fought a terrible war," she began, looking at each of her comrades, her friends. "A war in which we were all willing to sacrifice for the good of the galaxy. A war that left us alive, but not unscathed. A war in which we lost many things and many people we will never get back, but from which we can recover, heal, eventually build back the worlds we want to live on, or create them anew," she paused for a moment. "Many won't see the future we fought to preserve. The galaxy lost more than a half of its sentient beings, from every race, on every planet. It is our duty to remember them, is it our duty to honor their memory and their sacrifice." She looked at them all, the humans, the krogan, the quarian, the asari, the AI, the prothean, the turian. Her turian. Her voice was burdened with deep feelings, but she didn't try to hide them. "And yet, we have to honor them the right way. We must remember what they died for, what were they trying to protect. It is our duty to respect them, and the best way we can do that is by living our lives to the fullest. Show the Reapers that they couldn't kill our joy, our dreams, our spirit."

And it hit her. Those were the words that she desperately needed herself to believe, and the reason why the memorial ceremony couldn't really wait, but she only understood her true motivation at that very moment. She needed to leave her dead behind in order to truly start living again. She needed to forgive herself for not being able to protect them, keep them alive. Except she realized she didn't really know if she could.

Shepard glanced at Steve Cortez. She had helped him moving on from the lost of his love. Her eyes turned to Javik. She was requesting of him to let go on the loss of his entire race. Garrus. The loss of his team on Omega, and the death of many on Palaven because he had advised a full retreat of the turian fleet.

She took a deep breath. On the outside she was still Commander Shepard, because she had to be. She was an example to all of them, a mentor, a guide. These people were her family, but that only meant that she wanted them to have the best life they could. That was why they couldn't see her falter, even after the war. Supposing it was really over. On the inside, Melody was punching herself to scan for the broken pieces, and glue them together the best she could.

Garrus glared briefly at her. She chose to ignore him. They had recently shared a few heart to heart talks, in a depth she hadn't allowed herself during the war. She had admitted to him that she wasn't fine. She had told him some time ago that she couldn't make any promises, when he rejoined the Normandy after what had happened on Menae. Back then she wasn't even sure what their relationship was, other that he was the man he most trusted on the entire galaxy. Well, he and Joker, but Joker was more like a brother for her. Now, she had made a promise: she promised Garrus to take care of herself.

The memorial ceremony was part of it. She needed it, for closure. She closed her eyes for a second, and decided to make use of it. She had to let them go, she had to accept that she had done the best she possibly could. She had to make peace with the fact that she had survived, and she needed to make the most of the life given to her. Again.

Shepard hadn't been silent for long, and in any case, a respectful minute of silence was fitting. She briefly glanced behind her, at the memorial wall with the names of her fallen on it. Her blue eyes focused back on her people.

"Today, we honor our dead," she continued. "Our friends, our comrades. The men and women who served on this ship, or her predecessor, the SSV Normandy SR-1," she made a pause. Her voice was still heavy, loaded with emotion. "Some of you knew them and remember them. Other had only seen the names on this wall, but I assure you, they served faithfully and bravely."

She didn't need to swivel her head to read the wall. She slowly started to name each and all of her fallen and the circumstances in which they had died. Jenkins on Eden Prime. Ashley on Virmire. Pressly and other twenty crew members during a Collector's attack on the first Normandy. She hadn't spoken much with all of them, but she retrieved each of their dog tags from Alchera. She didn't mention that she had died too, that her corpse had been recovered by Feron and Liara and turned over to Cerberus to be revived. She didn't tell her squad mates that she was thinking that a name was missing on that wall: her own.

She moved on to mention the dead from the second Normandy, just as she had moved on when she awoke in a Cerberus base after two years. Mordin Solus, on Tuchanka. She had made him see that the genophage was wrong, she had convinced him of sparing the life of Maelon and his research. He had died defending the krogan's right to have a future. Thane Krios, on the Citadel. He had been injured defending the salarian councilor. She had prayed with him at the hospital, only to realize that the prayer was for her. Siha, he used to call her. Legion, on Rannoch. He died defending the right of his people to be people.

Her voice came out a little hoarse when she had to name Miranda Lawson. She had died on Horizon, the same colony where Kaidan Alenko had accused her of betraying everything they believed on. Shepard deeply regretted the death of Miranda, the woman who had brought her back to the realm of the living. It was true that she was working for the Illusive Man, and that she suggested putting a control chip on her brain. Luckily her boss didn't approve on that. But in the end, Miranda had been loyal to her, and she turned on the Illusive Man when Shepard had decided to destroy the Collector's base. In a strange kind of way, she had been a friend to her. Shepard hadn't realized how much she missed her. At least Oriana was safe, she thought. Hopefully, because she hadn't heard from her since she had woken up from her recent coma.

She said the last two names on her list. James Vega, fallen on Earth, at the same time that his Commander got severely injured. There was nobody else who'd call her Lola, nobody else who'd complain she was causing him bad luck on a game of cards. Nobody else who was, at the same time, so innocent and reliable. And then, of course, there was David Anderson. He had died on the Citadel, activating the Crucible. He had given his life for them all. He had been her own mentor, her guide. He had always believed in her visions, since that first beacon on Eden Prime. He had risked himself for her when the Normandy was grounded on the Citadel, on her pursue of Saren. When the council rewarded humanity with a place among them because she had given order to protect the Destiny Ascension, she had chosen him to be the human councilor. He had finally left the position to fight the war against the Reapers on Earth, and he bravely resisted until the end. He had been so important to her, that he was even included in the hallucinations she had while she was laying on the ground during the final battle.

Melody finished naming the dead, and lowered her head. She could perceive that the rest were doing the same. For some time, nobody made a sound.

"_Let go,_" Shepard ordered herself, to her own mind and soul. "_Let them go._" She breathed in and out a few times, and finally she did. Not even Commander Shepard could effectively disobey Commander Shepard for long.

She felt light, like a huge load had been taken out from her. She was ready to do what she asked of her people. She would honor her fallen by living, and making the most of her own life and the lives of the people who cared about her.

After a while, she rose her head and looked at the people gathered around her.

"Thank you all for being here," she told them. "To our fallen, we owe our respect and gratitude. We will honor them," she made a long pause. "And now, you know this is my ship but it's also your home. Stay as long as you want. There's food in the fridge, labeled dextro or levo or whatever," she smiled to the group the way she usually did, curving her lips only slightly. "Hell, is not like I really have to **tell** you to make yourself comfortable around here, do I?"

She moved in the direction of the mess hall, and the rest of her people did the same.

"Sure you have enough to feed krogan?" Wrex asked, patting her shoulder as she passed by him.

"When was the last time you starved on my Normandy?" she asked, amused. She walked to the kitchen followed by the two krogan, and started taking food out of the fridge and displaying it in front of them. She noticed that the rest of the people were standing together on the deck in small groups, talking to each other. She could see Traynor and EDI probably asking questions to Fairuza, Joker speaking with Kaidan, Chakwas and Cortez, McAllister standing next to Adams, Tali and Liara. She smiled to herself. That was what she wanted, to see them together. Javik was standing by himself, lost in his own thoughts, but that was not surprising. Garrus had walked past the kitchen, in the direction of the main batteries. She felt that he was waiting for a chance to speak with her.

"OK, Shepard, we believe you," said Wrex closing the fridge while she was laying some more food on the table, a smirk dancing on her lips. "That's more than enough."

"Say that to yourself again," she said in a friendly tone, but distilling authority, "the next time you have doubts about me." Wrex stood still and looked at her. She reached out for him and patted him on his arm. "C'mon, Wrex, you know me. Leave something for the others," she said pointing at the food, and she walked away.

She gestured Garrus to follow her. They walked to the main batteries. The door closed itself behind them.

"So, Vakarian, what is it?" she asked with her arms crossed over her chest and a slight lateral movement of her head.

"You did it again," said Garrus, leaning on the railing facing her, "you put on the armor of Commander Shepard and put everybody else's well-being ahead of your own."

"No, Garrus, not this time," she said softly, letting her arms fall to her side. "I needed this, trust me."

He reached for her and surrounded her waist with one of his arms. He caressed her face with his other hand. She placed both her hands on his arms.

"I trust you," he said in a vibrant, emotional tone. "I always had. But I really want..." he interrupted himself, unsure of how to express what was on his mind. Finally he said, "How are you?" There was urgency and concern in his voice.

"I'm fine," she replied. "I'm **free**. This is what I needed to let them go."

She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the plates that formed his mouth.

"Come," she told him, gesturing towards the mess hall, "let's join the others. I'd like to eat something before the krogan finish it all."

* * *

**NOTE:** I started another story connected to this one, check my profile. End of the self-promotion. :P


	17. Ch 17: Reliable

Chapter 17: Reliable

Two days had passed after the memorial ceremony on the Normandy, when Shepard received a message from Admiral Hackett. It said he had news regarding Cerberus, and that he wanted to discuss something else with her. She wondered what could it be about.

It was morning, and she had just changed into her uniform and tied her hair. She gulped her coffee and rose her gaze up from her private terminal. Garrus was putting on his armor, something he hadn't done since she had woken up. She walked over to him and she noticed he had a worried expression on his turian features. There was a datapad she hadn't seen before laying on the couch.

"Something wrong?" Shepard asked.

"No," Garrus said, looking at her, "it's just that Victus wants me to be his personal advisor..."

"You advised him before," she said, crossing her arms over her chest, "in the middle of the war. What worries you now?"

"He's been directing the rebuilding of Palaven and the turian colonies, giving orders from Earth, organizing the distribution of resources," he sighed while he finished adjusting his armor. "It seems not everybody is happy with the results so far, but I fail to see how could I help him. He insisted, so I'll go talk with him..."

"Garrus, cut the crap," Shepard said uncrossing her arms and making a rapid motion with her hand. "You're a great leader and it pisses me off that you're the only one who fails to see it," she paused and approached him, placing a hand over his chest, on the rim of his armor. "Think of all the things you did when you were made their 'expert Reaper advisor' and given just a token task force. Now, imagine what you could do with more resources, even if you are light-years away from Palaven. Your people need you, you can't just turn your back of them."

"Are you sure you're not partly turian?" Garrus asked, chuckling. "But you're right, I should do my best to help..."

"Listen, Garrus Vakarian," she said looking at him straight in his eyes, her tone and expression serious. "I didn't let Wrex forsake his people, and see how far he got. I believe in you even more."

"So," he adopted a half playful, half ironic tone of voice, "you won't stop until I'm the new Primarch of Palaven, right?"

"That's up to you and the turian Hierarchy, Garrus," she said, retreating one step away from him.

"Yeah, Melody, there's a little problem with that," he said, dropping his arms to his sides and advancing one foot. "If the mass relays ever work again, each Primarch will be expected to live most of the time in the colonization cluster they rule over. Once you accept, you cannot resign the position. There's quite a stigma for being demoted, that lies on the people who promoted you in the first place," Garrus paused, his steel blue eyes fixed on hers. "Palaven's radiation is a little too toxic for female human Commanders."

"So..." she started with her eyes widened in surprise, "I'm the reason why you wouldn't accept the position?" She hadn't thought on the consequences of Garrus being Primarch, and she realized that she was glad he'd chose her. She was more than glad; she was happy. However she decided not to tell him that. The thought stirred guilt feelings because it was selfish, but she wasn't ready to renounce on Garrus.

"No," he replied shaking his head slowly, "it's not the main reason, but it's a huge one. The main reason is that I truly believe I'm not qualified. Advisor? You're right, I could do that. But it's a big advantage that it's something I can do from anywhere in the galaxy, as long as I have a QEC nearby. If I was ever named Primarch... well, I wouldn't be exactly thrilled, that's for sure," he paused for a moment, and then added, "Anyway, I should go and see how can I help the current Primarch."

"Yeah," she nodded, "Hackett wants to see me. We'll talk later, Garrus."

He reached for her, kissed her, and left. She shook her head when she realized she was smiling to the closed door of her bedroom. Her feelings for the turian were intense, and she realized she had never cared for a human mate so deeply. She didn't know how to deal with those emotions, so she did the same as always: she pushed them for later. Right now, the head of the Alliance military wanted to see her.

Hackett's office was just as stacked with boxes and datapads as the last time she had been there. When she entered, the Admiral seemed very busy reading some reports, but he got up from the chair he was working on. Shepard saw him type something on a console, and the electronic circuit on the door went red. Whatever it was he wanted to discuss with the Commander, it was obviously of delicate nature.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard," said the Admiral walking over to her until he was standing in front of her. "This early morning, a member of McAllister's team found a spy working in the turian embassy. A Cerberus spy."

"Turian?" she asked, perplexed.

"No," he said shaking his head, "there's a small number of humans working there. People the Alliance recommended. People we thought we could trust on."

Melody shook her head and walked over to the opposite wall, and then back to Hackett. The office was small, so she was able to do so in three or four seconds.

"Luckily," the Admiral continued, "the turian aren't aware of what happened, we just gave them an excuse for removing the spy from his work. The operative who found him was swift and clean. The spy is now in Alliance's custody, and EDI is analyzing a disk we found in his possession. It's encrypted, but we believe we could gather intel regarding future attacks. We really don't know what they're up to or how much time we've got left."

"I think the Primarch should know this," said Shepard, gesturing with her hand, "get his men ready just in case. The political consequences will be worse if Cerberus hits and he finds out we held information from him."

"Shepard, the spy was a person the Alliance vouched for..." Hackett said in a low voice.

"Victus will understand, sir," said the Commander taking a step forward. "The Alliance can't read people's minds. I can talk with him, promise to investigate the other humans working there. He'll trust me."

The Admiral sighed heavily. Finally he said:

"Fine, talk with the Primarch, I'll arrange everything else," he paused for a moment, and then added, "There's something else."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Well, I don't know if Tali told you, but the Normandy isn't the only frigate being fixed."

"I didn't know," she said honestly. She wondered why was he telling her that, what did it had to do with her, or why Tali forgot to mention it. She had a bad feeling about it.

"We'll need a lot of resources," he said gesturing with his hand and pacing back and forth, "for the rebuilding efforts and the scientific investigation for the mass relays. Your idea was great, but the Normandy alone won't do. However, she's the fastest frigate we've got..."

"And you need me to scout for the rest of the ships," completed Shepard.

"We don't know what's out there," said the Admiral, still gesturing with his hands. She narrowed her eyes, her suspicions growing because he hadn't told her yes or no. "You could run into isolated groups of pirates or mercs, hostile indigenous lifeforms..." he paused. "Someone will have to organize the efforts of this small fleet."

Melody Shepard actually felt her ears turning red with rage. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath before answering. It wasn't enough to dissipate her anger, but the measures stopped her from yelling at him.

"Absolutely not," she said with a firm tone, her forearm moved laterally to emphasize her negative, as she shook her head. "You're forcing me to take the responsibilities of the promotion I told you I didn't want. Find someone else to lead this fleet. With all due respect, sir," she added in a softer voice.

"Shepard, we have many new recruits but not many ranked officers to spare. The quarian are fixing their own frigates, and Tali'Zorah will lead them from the Normandy using QEC. If I assign someone else, this person will have to coordinate efforts with Tali, and you know her better than anyone I could send. Plus, the Normandy can explore the nearby systems before any other ship, and I need the person in charge on board. I'd hate to give the Normandy to someone else..."

"You promised me the Normandy!" she exclaimed, leaning forward and filling the air of the small office with her powerful voice. She was so upset that she found it hard to breathe. Her hands clenched in fists of rage before she could think about it. It took her two full seconds to remember who she was talking to. She relaxed her hands and stepped back. "Sorry, sir, but you promised..." she apologized for the tone she had used, but it was clear she wasn't apologizing for the words.

"I know, Commander, and I plan to keep my word," said Hackett, standing still in front of her, not concerned or offended by her outburst, "but the Normandy has to be the tip of the spear again. We need those resources, and all I'm really asking is to tell them where to dig."

"You authorized the repairs on the Normandy," Shepard insisted, "before I suggested she could be used for gathering resources..."

"Yes, because I planned to assign you on patrolling," he patiently explained, "but your idea is better. I honestly don't see why..."

"Fine, Admiral," she interrupted him. "I never disobeyed you, not even when I was with Cerberus and technically I didn't have to follow your orders. I won't start now. If that's what you need, that's what I'll do. Just tell me when the ships are ready to fly," she paused and stood in front of him, completely professional once again. "Meanwhile I'll talk with the turian Primarch and deal with the present threat, as soon as I'm free to go."

"I'm sorry, Shepard..." he started, but she rose her hand with her palm extended to him and briefly closed her eyes as she shook her head. "Dismissed, Commander," he finally said.

Shepard saluted him and left the Alliance's base. She was still upset, but she didn't know if it was with Hackett, with the Alliance in general or with the war that left so many dead officers. She didn't want to lead a small fleet of anything. She had to admit to herself that she didn't even want to search for resources, she just had suggested it because she knew she'd need an excuse to be on board of her ship. While she was traveling to the turian embassy, she understood why had she been so uneasy: her true home was the Normandy, or in general whatever starship she was assigned to. Planets and stations were fine for shore leaves or specific missions, but she could never feel 'at home' on them. She made up her mind to do something about it.

The turian embassy was spartan on it's design, both on the outside and on the inside. It didn't have one more gram of materials than what was strictly necessary, structurally or functionally speaking. She had asked about it the first time she was there with Garrus. The answer she had received, was that they would decorate when resources weren't so critically needed for rebuilding human houses. She couldn't help but admire their honor. Both races had walked a long path since the First Contact War.

Melody walked over to the reception and asked to meet the Primarch. She could notice the receptionist was a female, because her fringe had a slight curvature at the end. There was no other visible sign of her gender, except perhaps for the tone of voice the translator interpreted when the turian spoke.

"The Primarch?" the receptionist asked. "He's not here, but I could send him a message."

"Please tell him," said the human "that Commander Shepard needs to speak with him as soon as possible."

"Ah, Commander!" the turian receptionist said in awe. "Of course!" she typed something at her terminal, and then turned back to Shepard. "I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you. I..." she hesitated for a moment, but then continued, "I'm sure people tell you this all the time, but thank you. My family is safe thanks to you. I... I recently heard I'm pregnant..."

"Congratulations," Shepard said smiling. The words of the woman confessing she was expecting a baby worked like a rain on her mood, washing away her anger.

"Thank you," said the receptionist. She looked at the screen, and added, "The Primarch says he can receive you on board of the Indomitable. You can take a shuttle on the courtyard, if that's not a problem for you..."

"Not a problem at all," said Shepard.

The turian woman made a gesture to one of the guards, who came before them. He escorted Shepard along the wide corridors of the embassy to the courtyard, without saying a word. The guard signaled a shuttle with the door open, and she entered.

The pilot of the shuttle wasn't very talkative either. They docked on the cargo bay of the turian dreadnought after a few minutes of flight, but the forced silence made it seem a longer time.

When the door opened, Shepard could appreciate that the dreadnought was large indeed. She didn't have a chance to see it from the outside, but the cargo bay was really impressive. She estimated the Normandy could probably fit in there. She noticed other shuttles, vessels, and a lot of movement.

A turian woman was coming to her shuttle. She seemed to hold great rank, judging by the way she was saluted as she walked. The newcomer had a light gray caparace without any facial markings, and sparkling green eyes. She wore a black and red armor. Shepard asked herself if the turian were really more comfortable in their armors, or if they were getting ready for some sort of conflict.

"Commander Shepard?" asked the female turian, and Melody nodded briefly. "Why do I ask," she continued, "I know you. Even if I didn't, all the turian in the galaxy know who you are. Sorry, how impolite of me. General Nari Vilicus," she introduced herself extending her hand, "at your service."

"Nice to meet you, General," said Shepard shaking the turian's hand.

"Oh, please," said the turian, gesturing the Commander to follow her. Both women began walking in the dreadnought to some unknown destination. It was a really big ship. The interior walls were dark gray and well lit. The corridors were wide and very busy, but every single turian they crossed paths with saluted the General. "Garrus and I grew up together. He lived across the street from me. It's just Nari for you."

"Nari, then," agreed Shepard.

"Not to mention," the turian said as she indicated with her hand to enter in an elevator, "I visited you in the hospital. Well, Garrus, really. I had to make sure he didn't starve." Shepard realized that she knew enough already about turian expressions, to interpret the gesture on the woman's face as a grin.

"Yeah, thank you," said the Commander smiling.

"He really cares for you," commented Nari.

"And I care for him," she paused. "You know his family, then?"

"You bet. His mother and mine used to play latrun together," she said as they turned around a corner. "Sol – his sister – and I once had this silly argument over the attention of a boy, who in the end didn't like neither of us." She stopped, and shook her head. She seemed sad or nostalgic. "Of course, that was a long time ago." She resumed her walk as if nothing had happened. "It seems like it all was in another life. Who'd say back then I'd be a General, or that Garrus would be the official advisor for the Primarch of Palaven?"

"I understand that there's more than one Primarch?" Shepard asked. She really didn't know much about turian politics, and she hadn't had time earlier to ask Garrus when he mentioned something about it. They were both expected somewhere else without delay.

"Yes, there's a Primarch for each colonization cluster," clarified Nari. "However, the Primarch of Palaven has the last word on matters regarding national import, even if all other Primarchs disagree. Of course, it's not a wise move for any Primarch to go against all the rest..."

"Politics," commented Shepard, with a knowing tone. She had seen enough of that on the Citadel. She knew there was a careful balance to be maintained, but had also seen people make very bad decisions because they were inept or for the sake of personal gain.

"Exactly," said the turian General, nodding as she walked. "I don't know how it goes for you, but we turian expect things to get done. Done well, done fast and done efficiently. That's not always possible after a war that killed half the galaxy and destroyed every building on every city on every civilized world..."

"Not to mention," added Melody, "that it left us without the mass relays." She didn't know why the General was telling her that, but she decided to play along.

"Yeah," said Nari as she indicated with her hand to turn in an intersection, "some colonies are in big trouble because of that. Of course, other nearby colonies can send resources, but they don't have much themselves. What's more important, they don't have the means to move said resources," she paused. "Transport and communications have become very expensive. Most turian ships are here, in orbit around Earth. We just don't have enough fuel to reach Palaven or our colonies with FTL travel."

"I imagine a ship this size must consume massive amounts of fuel," said the Commander.

"The ships aren't even designed to **store** the amount of fuel we'd need to safely reach our systems. Mass relay jumps cost next to nothing, but if you have to actually cover the distance between the stars..." the turian lowered her head. "It hurts, because it's not like we are in the opposite side of the galaxy. I can see my sun from some windows on this ship."

Shepard lightly placed a hand over the armored shoulder of the General, for only a second. It was a sign of sympathy, although she knew turian weren't exactly prone to physical contact with people they weren't really close with. Nari not only didn't mind, but even rewarded her with a brief smile.

They walked in silence down another corridor, until they reached a closed door. It opened as soon as the turian tapped a switch to its side.

"Can you tell me what is latrun?" asked the human Commander as they were entering a large room filled with people. She couldn't guess the function of the room because they weren't a lot of objects in it, only a few terminals. It was well lit, like the rest of the ship. The hum of the life support systems was more audible. The floor and walls were gray, much like the first Normandy. She could see some inscriptions on the furthest wall, in characters she didn't recognize. "_To do list: learn turian language_," Melody said to herself. There were two closed doors at the sides of the room.

"Oh, it's a traditional board game," replied Nari. "Very complex."

"Don't ask her to teach you, Melody," came the familiar voice of Garrus, who appeared from behind a group of gathered turian. "She'll kick your ass."

"Never!" said Nari, chuckling. "I have more respect for the Commander."

"If you really respect her you won't just let her win, Nari," said Garrus, amused. "She's not a child."

"I like a good challenge," said Shepard, "but it'll have to be another day. Right now I have to speak with the Primarch."

"Ah, yes," said Garrus, "he's waiting for you in that room," he signaled the closed door on the left wall.

"Come with me, Vakarian," Shepard ordered, in her natural tone of command. She turned to look at the female General, and told her: "We'll talk later."

"Sure, Commander, it will be my pleasure," said Nari, and turned to leave.

As they walked towards the room where the Primarch was expecting her, Garrus commented in a low voice: "I feel bad for Nari... she tries hard to hide it, but I can tell her heart is not even starting the process of healing."

The door opened before Shepard had time to ask Garrus what he meant.


	18. Ch 18: Turian pride

Chapter 18: Turian pride

When the door swished open, Shepard could see a sizable office with gray walls and floor. On the opposite wall there was a large window from which the stars were visible. The room reminded her a little of the port observation on the Normandy, although it didn't have the same layout. She smiled to herself because she felt at home. The huge Indomitable was nothing like her ship, but she could notice here and there details that obviously had served as inspiration. After all, the first Normandy had been co-developed by humans and turian, and Cerberus improved on the original design.

Primarch Victus was going over a pile of datapads, sitting at a massive desk, but he got up as soon as he saw the Commander and Garrus entering. He tapped at a console, and the circuitry on the door behind them turned red. He was wearing his armor. It was too much of a coincidence, because Shepard clearly remembered that the Primarch had changed to casual clothes when he had boarded the Normandy, after she had retrieved him from Menae.

"Commander," the Primarch saluted her, and approached. "I was told that you wanted to see me."

"Primarch," she said, with a single nod. She walked a few steps towards him and Garrus followed her, until the three were standing near the middle of the office. "I have news and they aren't exactly great."

Victus glanced briefly at Garrus, who shrugged slightly. Then he focused his golden eyes on the human, and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Nothing is great lately," the Primarch commented, his tone sounding tired or disappointed. "What happened?"

"It's about Cerberus," Shepard started. She ordered her mind to choose her words very carefully. She didn't want to lie to the man, but also she didn't want to tell him for how long exactly the problem had been known. She straightened herself. "The Alliance found they still have cells operating here on Earth. We don't know their exact purpose, but we know they're planning something against alien races. This early morning, a spy was taken into custody. He worked at the turian embassy. We have no idea how they managed to infiltrate this guy yet, but Admiral Hackett gave the order to investigate the rest of the human staff."

The Primarch didn't react or move for nearly five seconds. Shepard began to worry, because he gave no indication of what he was thinking. Would he blame the Alliance for this incident? Would the current good relationship between the two races begin to crack?

Finally, he walked over to his desk and opened a channel on his comm-link. "Nurbat," he said to whomever he was speaking to, "I need you to implement urgent security measures against a possible attack from Cerberus." He closed the comm-link after hearing his subordinate acknowledge his order, and walked over to where the Commander was standing.

Shepard distractedly rubbed her neck and then straightened herself, still trying to guess what was on Victus' mind.

"Thanks for the heads-up," the Primarch finally said, his features still unreadable. "I trust you'll tell me anything you find out?"

"Of course," she said, nodding. "I may not be available in person, but I'll make sure someone keeps you posted," she paused. "I wanna go hunt them as soon as we know where to."

"Don't even dream you're going alone, Shepard," stepped in Garrus, gesturing with his right hand.

She heard him and she was satisfied, because he had understood by himself that the situation was formal enough as to address her for her last name. That meant she wouldn't have to explain him how to call her during combat. The thought of actually being on the field again with Garrus warmed her soul, although she berated herself for that feeling. A part of her mind told her she shouldn't be so eager to fight, that she was a soldier and fought for necessity and not for taste. The rest of her knew that she was lying to herself, and that she was actually anxious to face her enemies. "_Remember Jenkins,_" said within herself the first part of her mind. "_I'll be careful. I wanna live, but hell, we need to end Cerberus' threat once and for all_," answered the second part. She was content with that, and that settled the question.

Shepard nodded slightly to Garrus, and then looked again at the Primarch.

"You can trust Hackett," she said to Victus with a calm, reassuring tone. "He's honorable and values friendship with your people."

"And he's one of the most powerful humans alive today," the turian Primarch added, nodding. "If you say he's trustworthy, Commander, I'll take your word for it."

She nodded and focused her gaze on him, not hiding her concern on her features.

"You said nothing is great lately," she started. "Are you in trouble? I haven't seen you wearing your armor aboard my ship..."

"I wouldn't say everything's fine," admitted the Primarch lowering his head a bit.

"Do you fear an attack, here inside the Indomitable?" Shepard insisted.

"No..." he paused, looking out the window and then back at the Commander. "I don't know. As you humans say, better safe than sorry."

"Turian don't say that?" she asked and almost immediately regretted it, but curiosity got the better of her. It happened often and she ended up asking inappropriate questions, like when she had asked a quarian if they had a ship called the Qwib-Qwib. However she had never tried to keep her curiosity in check or fight that trait of her personality. It defined who she was, as much as her determination and her compelling voice.

"No," replied Victus shaking his head, "we say we go to battle like Condiar Krar. It means pretty much the same, but your expression spares us having to explain other races about our historical heroes and cultural references."

"Most of our expressions," said Garrus as he slightly moved a foot forward, "involve events or persons from our past, but they are difficult to translate to others."

"Shame on you, Garrus," said the Primarch, adorning his face with a wide smile. "The Commander should know this already."

Melody was surprised, because it was the first time Victus gave any indication that he was aware of the romantic nature of her relationship with Garrus. He seemed to approve though, or at least not to be bothered about it, unlike Garrus' father.

"It's my fault," stepped in Shepard, her lips displaying her characteristic half smile, "I'm always busy. Still, I can find time to help you if you tell me what you need."

"You're doing enough," said the Primarch gesturing with his hands. "We're already seeing less hostility from humans, and I believe we have to thank Aller's campaign for it. I know you told her to start it. The turian living on the surface of Earth are those who lost their ships during the Battle of the Crucible, and made it to the escape pods. We couldn't make room for all of them in our remaining ships, but thanks to you their lives are better now."

"I could do more," insisted the Commander. "The quarian are fixing some of our frigates. I'm sure we could cut a deal to fix yours as well, if you need resources."

"Did you tell her, Garrus?" Victus asked the other turian, his voice sounding severe. Before her mate could reply, Shepard intervened:

"Garrus didn't tell me anything," she said with a trace of impatience in her voice, "and it's not like it really matters how I know. I'm on your side, Primarch, and not only because you kept your word and helped Earth. I also have very personal, very selfish reasons for helping your people." What she thought, bitterly, but didn't add was, "_Yes, very selfish indeed, because I wanna make sure that you remain the Primarch, just in case your Hierarchy ever considers Garrus for the position..._"

"Very well," said Victus, nodding. "Frigates don't use up so much fuel, but most took a lot of damage. It'd help to have a few running and ready to mine for resources. We could use some of them to store the fuel for the whole frigate fleet. They could reach our systems in a few months."

"Just the promise of future effective aid," said Garrus, "would placate many complains, at least for a while."

"Indeed," agreed the Primarch. His eyes shifted from his advisor to the human. "What do you think the quarian would ask in return for their help, Commander?"

"They need about everything," Shepard said, shifting her weight on one leg. "They plan to make Rannoch their home again, but it'll take time. I'm sure they'll accept a promise of future help, but right now I'm guessing you can offer political support," she paused, again choosing her words carefully. "We need a galactic Council fast, and if I understood well, the quarian would be glad to have an embassy again. Who knows, maybe even a seat on the Council?"

The jaw of the Primarch visibly dropped. Shepard kept an exterior mask of professionalism, but inside she smiled to herself. "_Five months in coma. Didn't lose the touch,_" she thought, amused.

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea," stepped in Garrus. "The technical expertise of the quarian could really help in the rebuilding efforts, on a lot of fields. We could all benefit from having them on our side."

"I..." started the Primarch, but decided to take a different approach. "The other day I was discussing galactic politics with Malen Talyk. He's the man who I think that should be our next councilor, and the Hierarchy agrees. We liked the idea Major Alenko brought forward, about including the volus. The galaxy must have a strong Council with real power. Offering a seat to the volus would help rebuilding galactic economy fast. However we haven't considered the quarian. Can they be trusted?"

"Could the krogan be trusted?" Melody countered, leaning forward. Her blue eyes sparkled. "If I recall correctly, I'm standing before the man who made me the craziest demand I ever heard."

Victus chuckled, and said, "Well, I have to admit it was a risk, but we had to take it. There was no way we could have won the war without the krogan. But we don't need to take such desperate measures now..."

"Perhaps not," said the Commander, "but we need to take measures for the peace to last. We now have a great opportunity to consolidate galactic unity. I'm not a politician, but I don't think we should waste this chance."

"You're right about that," said Victus, pensive. "I'll think about it."

Shepard nodded slightly. She fought her impulse to bring the issue of the krogan, that she had discussed with Kaidan. It was probably pushing too far too soon. She was determined to get Clan Urdnot at least an embassy, but she told herself she should wait for the right time to bring the subject.

"You could contact Admiral Tali'Zorah to negotiate when you reach a decision, Primarch," said the Commander. "For now I've taken enough of your time. I should go."

Garrus walked out with her and escorted her to the docking bay. She realized she could have found the way alone – after all, she had been aboard ships all her life – but she appreciated his company. As they walked, he told her he didn't have any more business to discuss with the Primarch, after formally accepting the position of advisor.

Once they were in the shuttle on their way back to Earth's surface, Garrus told her:

"It was a great idea you had, with the quarian," he sighed. "I should have thought of it, after all I knew quarian can fix ships using less resources..."

"Wanna know why you didn't?" she asked, a faint smile dancing on her face. He slowly nodded with his head. "Turian pride," she completed.

"Ah... yes," he said, lowering his head. "You're right. I thought we turian should be able to fix our own problems. It just never came to me that other races could be in position to help us... that we could all help each other. Silly me. I should have known better, after seeing everything you did to unite this galaxy."

"Old habits die hard," she said, taking a step towards him and placing a hand over his armored shoulder. Her expression radiated empathy and concern. "Your father raised you to be a good turian, even if you feel you're not. Don't be so hard on yourself ."

"Oh, don't worry, Melody, I'm done with that," he said, letting a smile climb to his mouth and his eyes. "I'm on the way of redefining what a good turian really is." He sounded so determined, so sure of himself, that Shepard couldn't help feeling her heart swollen with pride. That was the man she had fallen in love with.

There was something that she wanted to ask him, but he seemed to be absorbed in his own thoughts. The shuttle landed a moment later, and they took a cab from the entrance of the embassy, headed to the Alliance's base.

"So," Garrus said as he was sitting on the driver's seat, still decided about not letting her drive if he could help it, "Kaidan suggested we should include the volus in the Council?"

"We spoke about it," admitted Shepard as she sat. The cab took off.

"Oh, I knew it," said the turian, chuckling.

"You knew what?" she asked, annoyed. "He's very capable, and-"

"I know he's capable," interrupted Garrus, his tone sounding a little amused, "but he doesn't have radical ideas very often. He's more comfortable playing by the rules," he paused. "So, the volus, the quarian... who else do you have in mind?"

"Make a guess," she said, looking out the window of the cab.

Garrus didn't reply for a while. He steered the vehicle, and lightly tapped on the wheel. After a minute, he said:

"Not sure if Wrex would look good in formal attire."

"But Bakara would," she replied. She turned her head and looked at him intensely. "Think about it. The krogan are strong, and their numbers will grow fast. The galaxy wronged them. What's to stop them from going to war with all of us, if we deny them the right to participate in galactic decisions?"

"I think you did the right thing curing the genophage," said Garrus, glancing briefly at her, "but no matter how many treaties we make them sign, if they want their war they'll have it."

"Then you know what to do," Shepard said, resolute.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Make sure they don't want to go to war." He seemed to be considering something as he drove. Melody had to admit to herself that he was a very good driver, and wondered why did she never let him drive the Mako when they were pursuing Saren. "Leave this to me," he finally said.

She was about to protest, make a remark about how Wrex trusted her as his sister, how Bakara owed her life to her. However, she decided against it when she saw the conviction in his eyes. "Let's do it together," she said instead.

"You've got yourself a deal, Commander Shepard," said Garrus, smiling.

They didn't speak for a few minutes. Finally, she asked:

"Garrus, what did you mean when you said you felt bad for Nari?"

"She's a widow," the turian replied. "Drunexias and her loved each other deeply, but he died during the war. He was a good man. I first met him when I returned to Palaven, after you kicked me from the Normandy. We became friends."

"Yeah," she said, with a sad tone, "we lost many friends and loved ones," she paused, and added: "I didn't kick you from the Normandy, but I was sure I was about to be court-martialed. What do you think they'd done to a turian, one that worked with Cerberus on top of it?"

"I know," he said lowering his head a bit. "It's just that... well, I didn't know what we were. Friends just blowing off steam? Lovers? Two people building something else, something special I never dreamt I could have? All I knew is that I didn't want to lose you."

"You have me now, Vakarian," she said, smiling to him. She could see the large structure of the Alliance's base at a short distance. "You have me now."


	19. Ch 19: Disturbing news

Chapter 19: Disturbing news.

Garrus gently parked the cab near the entrance of the Alliance's base. Shepard had told him inside the turian embassy that she wanted to go there, but she didn't tell him why. He didn't asked, he just followed. Just like old times, except now he was the official advisor of the mighty Primarch of Palaven.

They got off the skycar and entered the base, that looked the same as the first time she saw it. Nobody seemed to care about the deplorable conditions of the building. She asked for Major McAllister, and was told that he was outside, on the yard. The turian and the Commander walked there, and saw Ian with a couple of members of his team. They walked to meet him.

"Shepard!" McAllister greeted her when he saw her. "You received my message I assume?"

"If you sent it this morning," she replied, standing before him, "I didn't have time. I was busy doing something for Hackett." Her mind reminded her, "_Something I told __**him**__ it should be done..._"

"No problem," said the Major and made a movement with his hand, indicating her to follow him. He began walking and his team was left behind, but the turian sniper walked beside Shepard. "We have some time. Did you have lunch?"

"What's that?" Shepard asked ironically, barely realizing it was indeed lunch time and that her body wouldn't complain about receiving food.

McAllister smiled, but decided not to answer her. Instead he addressed Garrus. "I have to send someone to get lunch for you, Vakarian. Any preferences?"

"I could eat dromaries," replied the turian, his eyes shining with hope, "but if that's not possible, some juke would be fine. Or anything, really. And please, just Garrus."

"Just Garrus then," agreed Ian. After a brief pause, he added, "Must be tasty. Now I wish I could eat dromaries too."

McAllister made the necessary arrangements, and a few minutes later, the three of them were sitting at a small table in the base's mess hall. There were other groups of soldiers eating there, but they didn't approach. The distance to other tables and the general noise in the hall, guaranteed that they wouldn't be heard by anyone.

"It looks good," commented McAllister, pointing at Garrus' plate. There was something dark blue with orange spots on it, some sort of leaves, and another brown thing that looked like chicken wings, but not quite. Dromaries was the name of the recipe, apparently.

"Wanna try it?" offered Garrus, grabbing his plate and extending his hand with it towards McAllister.

"Maybe some other time," replied the Major, chuckling. Garrus put back his plate on the table and continued eating. McAllister looked at Shepard and asked, "If you spoke with Hackett then he must have told you about the spy."

"He did," she replied, drinking some water to swallow what she was eating. It was surprisingly good for military food, a salad with tuna, fresh vegetables and a special dressing. "You learned something new?"

"Yeah," said Ian and glanced at Garrus. Shepard nodded once, as to encourage the Major to continue. "The plan," he said, breathing deeply, "was to spread some kind of neurotoxin inside the Indomitable. They were going to use the shuttles that every day make trips to the ship."

"What kind of neurotoxin?" asked Garrus. "Did you find out what does it do?"

"This is the part where it gets fun," said McAllister, sarcasm dripping from his tone. "They had shipped some of the product to London and the spy revealed its location. I just got the results from the analysis. Continued exposure produces death, but in small quantities it interferes with high level mental functions. It seems it's possible to indoctrinate people with this thing. The spy himself was indoctrinated."

"Fantastic," commented Shepard.

"The disk we found in the spy's possession," continued McAllister, "revealed some clues. Traynor and EDI are studying the data, trying to pinpoint the location where this thing is produced." He ate some more of his salad.

"McAllister," said the Commander, not really caring that she was still chewing, "I know I'm stating the obvious, but we need to come up with a plan to stop them for good. We destroy this factory today, but if they still have the formula, they'll make this toxin somewhere else tomorrow. We can't just let them do this to us. They subverted a person the Alliance trusted on," she paused briefly. "There must be something we can do..."

"There is," said Garrus, putting aside his empty plate. "You have been trying to resolve this problem by yourselves, but there happens to be very good turian investigators..."

"Garrus is right," said Shepard nodding. "It's not just a human problem anymore."

"Yeah, but..." started the Major, but stopped talking when Shepard rose a hand extended with the palm facing him.

"Look, I just spoke about it with the Primarch," she said. "Hackett sent me."

"Oh," said McAllister. "Then it's settled," he paused. "Of course, Shepard, you'll agree with me that this factory needs to go off now."

"Of course," she agreed, finishing what was left on her plate.

"Need a turian sniper on the team?" asked Garrus grinning.

"Yeah, we could use one," said McAllister. He made a pause, and then his gaze focused on the Commander. "Shepard, there's something I wanted to discuss with you, before we go to tear this place apart."

"Shoot," she said.

"Well," the Major started, "I've seen how you treat your crew. Major Alenko is just 'Kaidan'?"

"We go way back," she explained with a slight shrug.

"I'm sure of it," he hurried himself to reply. "I'm not criticizing, I was just... a little surprised. What I meant is that you treat them with familiarity, and they do the same with you. I've never seen that in military life."

"Don't fool yourself," stepped in Garrus. "She didn't mind how people called her on the Normandy, as long as everyone understood that she gave the orders. She'd listen to everybody, but in the end the last decision was hers."

"Yeah," he said, looking at Shepard, "but you know a team doesn't work well if the chain of command is not clear..."

"I see where this goes," said Melody. "You're worried that you'll have discipline problems with me. Well, you won't. This operation is under your command, Major." She honestly believed what she was saying. She knew that she was a good marine, and she respected her superiors as long as their orders weren't plainly absurd. However, she never stopped to consider how everything she had to live through had changed her. The fact that she had almost yelled at, and then manipulated, the head of the Alliance military just that very same morning escaped her mind in that moment.

"I'm not really that stiff," said McAllister, pushing his plate aside, "but you are after all Commander Shepard. People admire you and look up to you. I just don't want conflicting orders to risk my team, that's all."

"Yeah, don't worry," she said tilting her head from one shoulder to another, "I don't make a habit of risking people unnecessarily."

"On that I can attest," said Garrus. "She does however have a tendency to put **herself** at high risk. Very crazy stunts she somehow survived so far."

Shepard looked at him, straight in the eyes. There was the unspoken time when she hadn't survived, and the time when she was put out of the world for months. McAllister didn't need to know, and they both agreed on that during that look. She realized how much they knew each other. It was both comforting and a little scaring at the same time.

"Well, don't do that on this mission," McAllister told Shepard.

"Yeah, good luck trying to stop her if she finds something that's worth the risk," commented the turian.

"Garrus," said Shepard, visibly annoyed, "I don't have a death wish. If I do something is because I think I can."

"Yeah," stepped in McAllister, "N7 program, tell me about it. But if you die under my command, it won't look good on my report," he joked.

"You're both so annoying," declared Melody, snorting. "I shouldn't let you be friends, or even speak to each other."

McAllister burst out laughing. "Good one, Commander," he said when he could speak. "Good one."

"Anyway," she continued, ignoring his reaction, "it's not like I'll be available for all your missions. Hackett wants me to search for resources in nearby systems, with the Normandy."

"Oh?" the Major asked, surprised. "Well, then I take it you must be glad at his orders."

"Ecstatic," she winced and snorted again.

"OK," started Garrus, "who are you and what did you do with Commander Shepard?"

"The Normandy's not the only ship being sent," she explained. "Hackett gave the order to fix a small fleet of frigates, and I'm in charge," she completed gesturing with her hand.

"He did this without giving you a promotion?" asked McAllister, somehow shocked.

"He offered me a promotion alright," she said, playing with her empty fork. "I turned it down."

"Why would you-" the Major began saying.

"With all due respect," Shepard interrupted him, her tone somehow friendly but firm at the same time, "none of your business."

"Fine, fine!" said McAllister laughing and raising both hands in a fake defensive attitude. "Anyway, you'll be flying while I stay here fighting Cerberus. It's not that bad a deal for you."

"I suppose it isn't," she said, sighing. "Anyway, I hope I find some large reserves of resources in the first trip. That would give me time to investigate the Citadel."

"You think Hackett would let you do that?" the Major asked.

"You think she'll ask?" countered Garrus, amused.

"Hey, I'm a Spectre," said Shepard, half of her mouth twisted in a playful smile.

At that moment, McAllister's omni-tool beeped. He read the message and looked at them.

"Grab your gear," he said to the turian and the human Commander. "It's show time."

As they were walking, Shepard could see Garrus using his omni-tool. She realized that he was telling the Primarch what they had just learned.

They met with the rest of the team inside the shuttle. There they were told that their destination was somewhere in the Venezuelan jungle. All the team had brought their helmets, to avoid breathing Cerberus' neurotoxin.

During their travel, McAllister outlined his strategy. Part of the team would jam Cerberus communications and create a diversion, while the other would infiltrate in the facility and try to learn as much as they could. The ideal outcome would be to seize control of the building and dispose of the neurotoxin in a safe way, but in case that wasn't possible, they took bombs to plant with them. McAllister himself, Shepard, Garrus and a tech expert called Joséphine Cloutier would be on the infiltration team.

After the orders were given, they had some time to talk while they were reaching the factory. Some members of the team cracked jokes with each other. McAllister looked at Shepard, and he asked her:

"Is it true, Commander, that you disrespected Admiral Mikhailovich and got away with it?"

"I didn't disrespect him," she answered. "I just didn't let him inspect my ship. He called her an 'overdesigned piece of tin'."

"Oh," McAllister sounded disappointed, "you didn't hit him then? Too bad... you'd have earned my eternal admiration if you had."


	20. Ch 20: Finally some action!

**WARNING**: This chapter includes violence, not suitable for teens below 16 years old. It has about the same level of violence than the Mass Effect games. I had to change the rating of the story because of this chapter, just to be safe with the rules of the site. Future chapters will also have M rating.

* * *

Chapter 20: Finally some action!

"ETA three minutes to our destination, sir," said the pilot of the shuttle in a professional tone of voice.

They had covered the distance between London and Venezuela in a little more than thirty minutes, thanks to the eezo core.* Shepard vaguely thought that most Alliance's shuttles worked on mass effect fields, and thus would require more eezo eventually. Hackett was right, Earth needed resources that couldn't be found in the Sol system. Otherwise, the capability of the Alliance to perform even standard operations would be seriously compromised.

"You have your orders," said Major McAllister. "Stay sharp, people."

Some soldiers checked on their weapons, while other stretched themselves. Shepard just got up from her seat in the shuttle and placed a hand high on the vehicle's wall, near the door. She was thinking that her body seemed to respond well during the little training she had time to have, but she didn't know if she'd be to her fullest in a combat situation. If she was, she'd probably had to thank Cerberus' implants for it. She arched one side of her lips at the thought, amused by the irony. One way or the other, she'd know soon enough. She decided to play it safe until she could tell if her muscles would respond the way she was used to. Of course, the concept of 'playing it safe' for Shepard was a little different than for most other soldiers, not that she was keenly aware of that.

The shuttle landed on a small clearing surrounded by dense jungle. Conservationist efforts during late XXI century had paid off, and the wilderness restored on its own. The fauna was diverse and dangerous, but the soldiers didn't have to worry about being bitten by a snake or a spider, being in full armor as they were.

They all descended from the shuttle and started advancing slowly, hindered at some points by the vegetation. The small group led by McAllister separated from the rest. After only two minutes of walk, they could no longer see the second team. All they could see around them were tall trunks, green leaves and shrubs. They could hear the song of multiple species of birds, the squeal of monkeys and the distant growl of a cougar.

"My grandpa would have loved this place," commented Operations Chief Joséphine Cloutier in a low voice, as they advanced. To clarify, she added, "He used to collect spiders."

Cloutier was a young woman, probably in her early twenties. Her skin was pale, and she had dark hair neatly held in a bun, hidden by her helmet at the time. She was slim and shorter than Shepard, but her movements were nimble, product of intense training. She spoke with a faint french accent.

"You and your grandpa close?" asked Shepard, also keeping her voice in a volume that could be easily covered by the normal sounds of the jungle. The Commander carefully evaded a snake as she walked, because she had no reason for harming it.

"Yeah," the Chief replied. "He was a lucky guy. He died one month before Earth was invaded by giant murderous machines," she made a brief pause, and added, "My brother inherited his dissected spiders collection."

"Your brother's into spiders too?" asked McAllister, pushing aside a low branch for himself and Garrus to move.

"Absolutely, sir," replied Cloutier. In a softer, sadder tone, she added, "He can't enjoy the collection though. He's a soldier too, was in Hammer. He's been in a coma since the Battle of the Crucible. Doctors say he won't wake up."

"They said the same thing about me," observed Shepard, trying to reassure the young soldier. Cloutier just lowered her head and said nothing.

They walked in silence the remaining distance, their footsteps engulfed by the sounds of nature. Finally they could see what seemed to be the entrance of the factory, heavily guarded by Cerberus troops. It wasn't a large building, and it was mostly concealed by the tall trees and the lush vegetation.

"Most of the factory must go underground," commented McAllister in a low voice, using a large bush as cover. Garrus crouched next to the Major and used the scope of his rifle to observe the guards.

"My thoughts exactly," said Shepard looking at the building ahead.

"More than thirty guards," informed the turian sniper. "They also have two light mechs of a type I've never seen before. They must be expecting us."

"The support team can take them down," said the human Major. "We'll sneak past them. Our top priority is to gather whatever intel we can find inside." He looked at Joséphine, and the woman nodded.

McAllister gave the order, and moments later they could hear an explosion not too far away. He was informed that Cerberus comm tower had been taken down, along with the guards protecting it.

The infiltration team could see that the troops guarding the door were getting ready to fight. Soon enough, they had the chance, as the rest of the Alliance forces showed up. The combat displayed in front of their eyes, while they remained hidden in the bushes as not to alert the enemy forces of their presence. McAllister's hand was held up in the air, waiting.

Some Cerberus guards fell. They could hear grenades explode. A lot of smoke filled the air ahead.

"Garrus, you know what to do," ordered McAllister.

The human didn't have to say it twice. Vakarian, who was observing the combat from the scope of his weapon the whole time, shot calmly. He had the security of a soldier who had survived certain death thanks to his expertise with the sniper rifle.

"Scoped and dropped," murmured the turian, as he aimed and then shot for a second time.

"We know," commented Shepard a little amused, her assault rifle ready in her soldier hands. She didn't quite feel the adrenaline of combat yet, but she knew it was close and anticipated the moment. She was actually eager to engage the enemy, to feel once again her muscles tensing as she was eluding a grenade or digging her omni-blade deep inside the throat of an opponent. The Commander just couldn't lie to herself about it. She didn't even realize she had completely forgotten the decision she had made in the shuttle about playing it safe.

As the smoke dissipated, they could see only a few enemies still standing. The light mechs were scraps on the ground. The support team was pressing hard on the few remaining hostiles, and everything indicated that they wouldn't last long.

"Go!" ordered McAllister, lowering his hand.

The four of them sprinted towards the building, covering their movements with the lush flora. An assault trooper spotted them, but Shepard jumped and grabbed him by the neck before he could warn the others. Using some bushes as cover, she brought him down, finishing him off with her omni-blade. Then obeying to a gut feeling, she took off the guard's helmet. The man's face was integrated with synthetics, just like the dead guard whose comm link Kaidan has suggested using on Mars to ambush Cerberus. She shivered a little at the view of that husk-like creature, shocked that the Illusive Man was still modifying his troops that way even after the Reapers were gone.

"What the hell?" asked McAllister behind her, horrified by the view of the fallen enemy.

"Explain you later," replied Shepard, moving swiftly towards the door. The other three followed her.

They stood outside, their backs pressed at the building's walls. Cloutier unlocked the door and McAllister peeked inside.

"Clear," said the Major, gesturing to the rest to follow him.

"Something's not right," observed Garrus as he entered.

"C-sec instinct?" asked Shepard moving forward, but it could be understood by her tone that she didn't need an answer. She also felt something was out of place, but she wasn't worried. They had faced Cerberus many times before.

The door closed behind them. McAllister turned on the flashlight on his omni-tool. The room only had a few crates and a trap door. He opened it and started climbing down a ladder, followed by Cloutier, Garrus and Shepard.

The ladder was long, indicating that the roof of the underground facility was very high. As they reached the lower level, Garrus and Shepard heard a click that they recognized immediately.

"Turrets!" yelled Shepard, jumping forward before the automated mechanism started firing.

She looked around, hurriedly looking for something they could use as cover. There was nothing. The room also had a rectangular shape, but was larger than the one they just had left and didn't have crates or anything else in it.

Shepard did the only thing she could: she ran forward, hoping to reach the space past the twin turrets and disable them from behind. She noticed McAllister was doing the same. No doubt that the other two would try to overload or sabotage the mechanisms.

Her shields went down. She jumped forward and rolled behind the turret to the left. Quickly she got up and destroyed the device, that was already damaged by the tech expertise of her other two squad mates. She could see from the corner of her eye how the Major smashed the right turret.

Garrus and Cloutier ran to meet them. Shepard could see a door on the wall behind McAllister, its access panel glowing red.

"Anyone hurt?" asked Ian regaining his breath.

The rest denied with their heads. Shepard commented, "No, but Garrus was right, we should expect more surprises."

"_Sir,_" McAllister's radio clattered. "_Cerberus shuttles incoming,_" informed a member of the support team outside the facility.

"Keep them out," ordered the Major. He then turned to his companions and said, "OK, double time, I want everything we can get from this place before we blow it."

Chief Cloutier, who was already working on the lock, commented, "If they were expecting us, it's possible that they've already erased anything we could use, sir."

"We'll see," he said, as the door beeped open. "Anyway we need to get inside to plant the bombs."

At that point, nobody in the team expected that they could take the factory and safely dispose of the toxin being produced. Shepard only hoped that the underground structure would contain the explosion and that the product wouldn't cause much damage on the surface.

The door opened. The next room was lit and seemed to be even bigger. Peeking inside they could see conveyor belts, consoles and devices normally used in factories. At least they would have cover if they needed it. They moved in, but after two steps they froze in place. They noticed some workers, still going on with whatever they were doing. They must have heard them, but they didn't react, as if they were zombies.

Shepard walked up to were a female worker was standing watching a console. The woman didn't even look up. The rest of the team moved forward, their weapons ready in their hands.

"What are you doing here?" the Commander asked the worker, with her assault rifle pointing to the floor.

"Everything is in order," replied the woman in haste. "I'm doing everything you asked, please don't hurt me anymore," she pleaded. The worker didn't seem to realize who she was talking to, or what was going on around her.

"Damn!" said McAllister, who had walked over to stand next to Shepard.

"Can we save them?" asked Melody, anxious, although she said to herself that she already knew the answer. Her feelings of intense hatred for Cerberus came back renewed.

"If we take them outside now," replied the Major, "they'll probably die in the crossfire."

As if replying to his statement, the door on the farthest end of the room opened, and more troops emerged from it. Shepard pushed the worked down. She yelled: "All workers, get to cover and stay down!" She hoped that they would be so conditioned that they'd just obey orders no matter who gave them. To her relief, the idea actually worked. The rest of the human figures standing at their work stations, crouched to the floor behind the machines and conveyor belts.

They engaged the enemy forces, jumping from cover to cover, advancing forward. Shepard was divided between her excitement every time she took a hostile down, and her concern for the safety of the conditioned civilians. She believed they could be cured, if they managed to keep them alive. As if answering to her worries, she could hear a grenade explode near her, and a worker screaming. He gasped for two seconds, and then she couldn't hear him anymore.

"All workers," she shouted to the top of her lungs, over the sound of guns firing, "stay in cover but start moving to the exit ladder!"

Once again, they obeyed. She could see figures crawling from console to console, or using the conveyor belts to protect themselves. She noticed some Cerberus troops moving forward, and she jumped to block them from advancing. Her shields went down again from enemy fire but she didn't care, as long as the civilians could make it out. She sprinted to the next cover, taking only some injures on her arm and shoulder. Nothing that some medigel couldn't fix right away. She activated her omni-tool to apply it.

"Beta team," she heard McAllister communicate over the radio, behind his cover that was not far away from hers, "who's closest to the door?"

"_Corporal Wu, sir,_" came the reply, with only a little statics. McAllister meanwhile shot at another target, and jumped back to cover.

"Wu," said McAllister, "get down here and help the civilians out. Escort them to safety and request another shuttle to evacuate them."

"_Aye aye, sir!_" replied the Corporal. Shepard knew the whole support team had heard the order, and that they would protect them. That took a great weight off her shoulders.

They hadn't however finished the enemy forces. They just kept coming, and the only thing they could do was to keep them at bay, and jump to another cover when they could see a grenade launched in their direction.

Cloutier reached them. Garrus was only a little behind, at a vantage position to take hostiles down with his sniper rifle, or overload their shields with his omni-tool.

"Sir," said Joséphine, short of breath, getting behind cover next to the Major, "I have the plans of this facility."

"How big is it?" the Major asked as he shot a combat engineer right in his head, just a second before he could arm a turret ahead of them.

"Three more rooms like this one," the young Chief replied, as she overheated the weapons of some nearby enemies with her omni-tool, "and a large control room at the center."

"That's where we're headed," said McAllister, replacing the heat sink of his heavy pistol.

Shepard thought, "_Yeah, when we clean this room_," but didn't say anything. She was busy trying to take down a nemesis that jumped from place to place after each of her shots, resisting to die.

* * *

* I know that FTL travel allows for 12 light-years in a day, but that's in space travel with no gravity. I assume it would take more time traveling near the surface of Earth accounting for Earth's gravity and correcting for its curvature. It says nothing about it in any Mass Effect wiki, but I'm letting my knowledge in physics make an educated guess.


	21. Ch 21: Gathering intel with style

Chapter 21: Gathering intel with style.

The nemesis Shepard had been shooting at was finally down, unmoving and sprawled on the floor. The pile of Cerberus' troops corpses was getting bigger in front of them, lit by the white tubes of the underground facility they were about to blow up. For a couple of minutes, all that could be heard was the sound of guns resonating in the large room with factory equipment and conveyor belts. Time passed differently while in combat, and the Commander was very used to that. A few minutes could be enough to produce a lot of mayhem, and that was exactly what they were doing when they weren't dodging enemy fire or grenades.

The four members of the infiltration team, in full armor and covered by their helmets, pushed forward, guns firing. In a matter of seconds, they finished off the few enemy forces still standing. They exited to a wide corridor and ran in the direction of the central control room, which they knew thanks to the plans of the factory that Joséphine Cloutier had downloaded during the combat.

When they arrived they noticed the door was unlocked. McAllister opened it and dodged back to cover, just in time to avoid the red laser beam of another nemesis waiting inside. The room was a large and well lit, with several consoles and screens. The Major indicated with gestures to Shepard and Garrus to cover each side of the door, and to Cloutier to enter with him. They both ran inside, taking cover under a console near the entrance.

The team forced the hostiles away from the main console. Joséphine ran to reach it, covered by the fire of the rest of the squad. She activated her omni-tool. McAllister positioned himself to protect the young soldier. Shepard entered but was forced to exit a second later, dodging a grenade. She stayed near the door, herself and Garrus inflicting heavy damage on the Cerberus troops.

"_Sir,_" cracked the Major's radio, "_Atlas deployed!_"

"Copy that, resist!" said Ian on the open channel, and then turned to look at the Operations Chief, yelling over the sounds of combat. "Cloutier! Found anything?"

"Data encrypted," replied the young woman, talking very fast. "I think we have something."

"Time estimate?" requested McAllister, also speaking at great speed as he fired.

"Two minutes, sir." replied Joséphine, her fingers typing as fast as she could.

"We'll get to your position in two minutes," said Ian over the radio, just as he was killing the nemesis with his pistol.

At that very same moment, Shepard heard a sound along the corridor. Something large and mechanic. Garrus undoubtedly heard it too, because he said to McAllister in a loud voice:

"That could be a little optimistic, Major!"

Shepard gestured to Garrus and he understood. Of course he would. They entered the room at the same time, and the Commander rolled to cover the turian sniper as he locked the door. They were now trapped with the remaining Cerberus forces inside the control room, but at least they probably wouldn't have to worry about the mech until they wanted to go out.

A grenade exploded near them, shattering Shepard's shields and producing minor injures. She jumped back and could see Garrus docking into cover and applying some medigel on his own wounds.

"Just a scratch," the turian announced at Melody's questioning look. He moved behind the main console, covering Joséphine Cloutier with his deadly sniper skills.

When her shields regenerated and the medigel she had applied on herself took effect, Shepard rolled over and positioned herself behind a guardian. She sank her omni-blade into his throat, killing him on the spot. Then she rushed back to cover. She saw McAllister grabbing an assault trooper that approached too much, pulling him to the ground and crushing his skull with his foot. In the meantime, Garrus overloaded a centurion's shields and then concluded his job with an accurate shot to the head.

Cerberus troops were fast, and outnumbered them, but the team was very strong. Shepard and Garrus had a lot of experience on the field. McAllister displayed impressive abilities, demonstrating he had fully earned his N7 designation. Cloutier worked fast with her omni-tool on the console, downloading data and cracking some of the encryption codes on the spot. Some thirty or forty seconds later, it was over. Except for the sounds of turrets outside, and rockets impacting on the door.

When only the four of them were standing in the room, McAllister asked:

"How are we doing, Cloutier?"

"Most data downloaded," the Chief replied. "I have the location of their lab, two kilometers to the south. Uploading to your omni-tool, sir." She kept working for a few more seconds, and then added: "They also produce some components of their new mech in this factory. They call the model 'Pallas'."

"Yeah, they're dramatic fellows," commented Shepard moving her head and signaling the door with her assault rifle. Then she let her weapon rest parallel to her leg.

"The model is cheaper than the Atlas," informed Cloutier without stopping her work.

"Cerberus finally running out of funds, huh?" said the Commander. She smiled under the helmet, curving her lips in that characteristic half smile that the crew of the Normandy knew so well. Not that anybody could see it in that moment.

"Or they're planning mass production," remarked McAllister. He looked at the turian and said: "Garrus, plant the bombs but don't set the timer just yet."

Vakarian opened his omni-tool and displayed the plans of the facility. He typed something and then walked to set the charges in place.

"Beta team, what's your status?" asked McAllister over the radio while the turian was performing the task he has been assigned.

"_Under heavy fire_," came back the reply. "_Some wounded_."

"I'd worry more about ourselves, McAllister," said Garrus signaling with his head to the door, as he was working with the explosives. The efforts of the Cerberus troops to gain access to the room persisted, as they could judge by the sounds they could hear.

"Do we need all the charges to blow up the facility?" asked the Commander, an idea taking form in her mind.

"What are you thinking, Shepard?" asked the Major.

"I don't know if it's possible," she started, replying to the question, "but if we could downgrade one of the charges..."

"And use it as a giant grenade," completed Cloutier. The sound of the hostile forces was loud outside, but the door still resisted. "Yeah, I can do that. We have enough material here to make some decent cover for the other charges and ourselves."

"Good thinking," commented the Major. "Bold, but I like it."

They set into motion as soon as the Operations Chief finished downloading the data. As she was modifying one of the charges, the others prepared the control room.

"Done," announced Cloutier after a moment.

"Great," said Shepard walking over to where the other woman was. "Give me the charge and take cover."

"Negative, Commander," Joséphine denied slowly with her head. "I modified the timer so I could program it with an only three seconds delay, but I have to activate it from my omni-tool."

Shepard nodded slightly and ran to her cover. As she saw the young soldier decoding the encryption of the door, she thought, "_Please don't die, girl._"

The door opened. Cloutier jumped to the left, tossing the charge with one hand. The turrets hit her. She screamed in pain but still managed to activate the charge as she was running to cover, with all the speed she could manage. Shepard sprang, caught her and jumped back behind a console. At the same time, the sound of the explosion filled the room. She quickly applied medigel on the tech expert. When the Commander rose her head to look up, she could see Cerberus troops, turrets and a mech ablaze at the door.

"Did it work?" Joséphine asked, holding her abdomen. Her armor was broken and red, however the blood had stopped pouring, thanks to the medigel.

"Yeah," replied Shepard. Cloutier smiled.

McAllister and Vakarian rushed to where they were. "Charges armed, six minutes," announced Garrus.

Shepard took Joséphine in her arms, careful of not touching the wounds, and got up carrying the younger woman. "Let's get out of here," she said.

They sprinted past the sector on fire, their shields protecting them, and ran out. They had to jump over corpses in the room with the conveyor belts. Soon they reached the room with the ladder.

"I can climb," announced Cloutier. She would obviously need to be taken to a hospital soon, but she seemed to resist for the moment being.

"You sure?" asked Shepard, and the woman nodded. Shepard left her on the floor and started climbing up.

The four of them rushed up. As she got to the ground level, Shepard reached down and helped Joséphine. The woman was exhausted, therefore the Commander again carried her in her arms.

Garrus announced they had four and a half minutes. While still in the room, McAllister ordered the pilot of the shuttle to be ready for extraction as soon as the Atlas was down.

"Major," said Shepard, "the lab's two kilometers away."

"I know, but my people are wounded," replied Ian talking fast. "They need medical attention."

"We aren't," insisted Shepard. "Send the wounded in the shuttle. The rest of us can go to the lab."

"Fine, you win!" said McAllister chuckling, as he opened the door to exit the facility. "But only because we don't have time to argue," he added muttering.

Once outside they could see what the situation was. The Atlas was severely damaged. So were the Alliance's forces.

McAllister advanced, shooting at everything that moved that didn't have Alliance's uniform. Garrus covered Shepard, who still carried Cloutier. The woman, even wounded in the Commanders arms, tapped something on her omni-tool, and they could see a distinct explosion on the Atlas.

A few seconds later and as the rest of the soldiers kept firing, the mech finally collapsed. They could see the shuttle approaching, and rushed towards it, with Ian and Garrus covering the extraction. Shepard left Joséphine carefully on the shuttle's floor, and then drew out her rifle and started firing.

McAllister quickly assessed the support team. All of them had wounds of different level.

"We're the only ones that could walk two kilometers in the jungle," he finally told Shepard while helping the last soldier to get in the shuttle with one hand, and firing with the other.

"I don't think they'll expect us there so soon," said Shepard, determined. "If we wait, they'll have time to reinforce the place."

McAllister kept silent for a second, the only sound being the shots of the three of them and of the remaining Cerberus troops, and finally said to the pilot: "Take them to the nearest hospital. I'll send you the coordinates for our extraction."

The pilot seemed confused, but replied, "Aye aye, sir!" immediately.

"And Commander Shepard spoke," said Garrus, sounding somehow resigned and amused at the same time. The shuttle took off, and the turian added, "We'd better run away from the explosion radius."

The three of them ran into the jungle, followed by the few enemy forces that were still alive. "_They're persistent, you have to concede that,_" Shepard thought as she felt her muscles burning from the heavy effort she was forcing upon them. Her breathing was fast and it came with difficulty, but she had no intention to stop until they where safe.

"Five seconds, get down!" said Garrus as he jumped, falling on the ground.

The two humans threw themselves to the ground, and they could hear the explosion behind them. Most of their pursuers got caught on the blast. McAllister rolled over himself and finished off the only two Cerberus troops that had survived.

Dirt, plants and branches fell over them. They could see entire trees in the air for a brief moment, before they fell down at high speed. The vegetation around them was still standing, and protected the group from the tall trunks. Where there was a lush jungle moments ago, now there was a hole patched in green and brown.

They sat there for a moment, catching their breath and resting from the run. A scan of the air indicated that the air was safe. They removed their helmets.

"I'm sure they could hear the explosion from the lab," said McAllister breaking the silence, literally because most animals had stopped making noises.

"But they don't know we stayed," said Shepard, sitting with her arms grabbing her legs. "We took down their comm tower. They don't know we have their location. I'm sure they sent reinforces because they anticipated that we would attack this factory, and acted when they couldn't communicate."

"Yeah, you could be right..." admitted McAllister. He got up and added, "I guess it couldn't hurt to check. If the place is too guarded we get the hell out."

"Agreed," said the Commander getting up too. She extended a hand for Garrus, helping him on his feet.

McAllister checked the location of the lab on his omni-tool, and they started walking. Slowly, natural life went back to normal, with the birds singing and the monkeys squealing.

"So, Shepard," Ian said after a minute or two of walk, "So much for 'this is your operation, Major'." He chuckled.

"I was only making a suggestion," she said in her defense, raising both hands. She was walking with her hands free, the assault rifle firmly held on her back.

"Right," replied McAllister jumping over a large fallen branch.

"Here's the thing," stepped in Garrus. "If you really want her to obey your command, you cannot let her talk. Once she opens her mouth, she can convince anyone of anything."

"Garrus!" she told him off.

"What?" said the turian chuckling, "He'll learn that soon enough..."

"Yeah, I don't really mind," intervened the Major. "I was just teasing you. If you had accepted the promotion you were offered we wouldn't be having this conversation, because I guess I'd be under you."

"And you regret you're not under me?" she asked, playfully, setting apart a group of shrubs to make way. "You're a married man..."

The Major burst out laughing. "I'm not really liking this conversation, Commander," he said. "This turian over here is quite dangerous," he added pointing at Garrus.

"We have a tradition on Palaven," joked Vakarian, his tone obviously indicating he was amused. "If a man flirts with our women, or we think he is, we eat him alive. If we can't because of chirality issues, we grab some varren from Tuchanka and feed him to those beast instead."

"You see, Shepard?" said the Major chuckling. "You'll get me killed. If Cerberus doesn't finish us up in a few moments, I'll die on Palaven soon. Gotta respect tradition."

"Enough you two," Shepard scolded them in jest, although she admitted to herself that one of the traits she most liked in Garrus was his humor. She always had. That was in fact the tertiary reason why she liked him in her squad, even before she had feelings for him. The first two reason were that he was one hell of a soldier, and that she could trust him to be on her six.

They didn't talk much for the rest of their walk. McAllister checked his omni-tool several times, to make sure they didn't get lost in the jungle. Finally, they could see through the scope a building amidst tall trees. It was larger than the one they had just blew up. There didn't seem to be much activity around it, however.

"Two guards on the door," announced Garrus, lowering his rifle.

"Only two?" asked Ian. "I wonder how many do they have inside."

Shepard gestured to Garrus to lend her his rifle. She took it and looked through the scope.

"The building's large enough for a lab, but not for housing many troops," she handed the gun back to the turian, who took it. "Not all Cerberus facilities go underground."

"We don't know about this one," pointed out McAllister moving his head towards the structure ahead.

"No, we don't," Shepard stood before the other human with her arms crossed over her chest, her head slightly tilted. It wasn't a very professional position to assume before a superior in rank, but she couldn't help herself. "Orders, Major?" she asked.

Ian looked at her for a moment, in silence. "What would you do?" he inquired.

"I'd be inside already," the Commander replied.

McAllister put his helmet on, imitated a second later by Shepard and Garrus. The Major radioed the pilot of their shuttle, who told him he could reach their position in a few minutes.

"Can you take the guards from this distance?" Ian asked to the turian.

"Are you kidding?" replied Vakarian. "From this distance I could take them both in one shot."

The guards fell limp. As the three of them approached, more Cerberus troops exited the building. They didn't last long, however.

The entrance was clear in less than two minutes. They moved in. There was a small reception room with three doors, each on one wall. The access panel was red on all of them. They tried to hack the locks, to no avail.

"Bringing someone who could gain access would take time," pointed out Ian.

"Perhaps as much time as it would take Cerberus to send reinforcements," supplemented Garrus.

Shepard stood in between them, a hand holding her helmet where it protected her chin. She was trying hard to squeeze any ideas from her mind. She wasn't going to be held back by a simple locked door, not when the safety of all the turian stranded on Earth was at risk. She had faced bigger challenges and prevailed.

"Any other bold idea, Shepard?" asked the Major.

"I still have two charges, in case you're interested to know," informed Vakarian, chuckling.

The Commander didn't answer them. Instead she looked at each of the three closed doors, and then at the fourth. The one they have used to get in. She looked at the corpses of Cerberus' modified troops on the ground. "_Of course,_" she thought, "_how could I not see it before?_"

She walked over to one of the bodies and removed his helmet. Then she opened the comm link integrated on it.

"Alliance forces attacking the entrance," she said over the comm. "They're getting reinforcements."

"_Copy that, gamma team_," replied a voice over the channel. "_Heading to your position_."

Shepard dropped the Cerberus helmet, and signaled McAllister and Garrus to take positions near the center and right door. She took the left, her weapon pointing to the ceiling firmly held in her hand.

"Brilliant," commented McAllister pressing his back to the wall. "And here I was thinking I was good."

"You cautious," said the Commander. "I'm sure you kept a lot of soldiers alive," she paused briefly, and added, "Let's see if they bought it."

The door on the left opened at that very moment. Shepard tossed a grenade amidst the hostiles, while the other two members of her squad ran to where she was.

The combat was intense, but brief. The two humans each took one side of the door, using the wall as cover. Garrus moved from one place to the other, firing and using his omni-tool as he saw fit.

When it was over, they entered. They walked down a corridor until they could see a door on the lateral wall. It was locked, but turned out to be easy to hack. When it opened, it revealed a large laboratory area, and some people wearing white coats working inside.

Shepard went into the lab first. She held her assault rifle in front of her with both hands, ready to fire. The civilians rose their hands to their head.

"We just want information," she told them. "Play nice, and nobody gets hurt."

"Except for you," said a female scientist quickly grabbing a tube from the table and tossing it at the intruders, "Commander Shepard."

Melody jumped back, just in time to avoid the projectile. It burned a hole on the floor. Suddenly all of the scientists were attacking them with whatever that substance was, forcing them to retreat behind the door.

"Would seem that nothing can be done for them," said Ian.

"Nope," agreed Shepard. "Fire at will." She tried not to think about the pain in the heart that decision gave her. She thought about the colonists on Feros, mind-controlled by an ancient life form. She had been able to save those innocents back then, but that was because she had been provided with a special mod for her grenades. Nothing like that was available in her current situation.

A bunch of mad scientists were no match for the three of them, as it could be easily foreseen. Seconds later, the lab was empty. They entered and located the main console. The Commander started downloading the data on her omni-tool.

"Shepard," said a voice behind her. She didn't need to look to recognize it. She swiveled, but didn't bother to raise her gun.

McAllister walked over to the source of the voice, pointing with his pistol at a hologram of a well dressed man with hair turning gray, who was smoking a cigarette. Garrus stood near, looking at the flickering image of the Illusive Man.

"Why are you even doing this!?" the Commander asked the holographic figure. The anger in her voice was apparent.

"I see you recovered well from your injuries?" said in turn the Illusive Man. "Lawson did a good job with you. I read the report. You wouldn't have survived the kind of trauma you took during the last battle against the Reapers, if it wasn't for the implants."

"You..." she gasped, "you read my medical report?"

McAllister lowered his gun and looked in turns at Shepard, the flickering image, and the turian sniper.

"Your surprise amuses me," answered the hologram. "You remain as short-sighted as always."

"What could you possibly gain from trying to hurt the aliens?" Shepard asked taking a step towards the figure and pointing at it with her finger. "The Reapers are gone, you cannot be still working for them..."

"I work for humanity," replied the Illusive Man, "as I always did. That's why I gave the order to kill the previous Council when I took the Citadel. They were weak. They wouldn't have believed the truth, let alone do something about it." After a brief pause, he added, "The Reapers are far from gone, Shepard. They thrive outside every galaxy of the Universe."

Melody felt cold sweat on her forehead, under the helmet. For a second, she thought her legs wouldn't support her.

"How..." once more she gasped, "How can you even know that?"

"I saw it when we took control of the Catalyst," he answered and took a drag from his cigarette. "I was right all along, Shepard. There's no way we could destroy them all. If we could control them, or at least a part of them, to keep the others at bay..."

"How hurting the other races could help you do that?" asked Shepard, enraged.

"Why should I tell you?" the figure replied. He tilted his head slightly. "I'm tired of this conversation, Shepard. Goodbye."

The image flickered a few more times, and it disappeared.

"You said you have two charges, Garrus?" the Commander asked, and Vakarian nodded. "I'm done with this place. Let's blow it up."


	22. Ch 22: Afterthoughts

Chapter 22: Afterthoughts

The shuttle was well in the air when the Cerberus lab exploded. McAllister was standing inside the vessel, with one of his hands leaning on a wall. Shepard had collapsed on a seat, and Garrus sat beside her. Ian indicated the pilot to drive to the hospital were he had taken the wounded soldiers of his team. The three of them had removed their helmets, and exhaustion showed on their faces.

"Two big explosions in one day," commented Garrus, grinning. "Trying to set a new record, Shepard?"

She looked at her mate and half smiled, but she didn't reply. She couldn't put what the Illusive Man had told her out of her head. He hadn't given her any information she didn't have, but deep down in her mind, she had wished to be wrong about her vision during the last battle. It wasn't only the shattered hope that kept her head spinning, though. The Illusive Man, for the first time, hadn't told her he wanted to control the Reapers because of the power that would give him. He had told her he wanted to control at least a portion of them, 'to keep the others at bay'. Even when she'd never agree with his methods, she could see that there was some despair in that phrase. That was an emotion she had never thought of associating with him, and it resonated within her in very unpleasant ways. She knew she had ahead of her another sleepless night.

"Let's hope the intel was worth it," said McAllister. His face showed concern, most probably about the injuries suffered by his team. "However, I'm still trying to wrap my head around a few things..."

"I'll explain it all," promised Shepard looking at him. "Just... not now."

She laid her head back, letting it rest on the wall behind her. Garrus put a hand supportively on her shoulder. She mentally thanked him, although she couldn't really feel the contact through her armor.

"Yeah, OK," said Ian as he sat in front of her in the shuttle. "We have a lot of things to do anyway. I want to check on my people, and then we need to get back to London and submit the data for analysis. I wouldn't just send it over."

"Of course," said the Commander.

The hospital was crowded and full of activity. Doctors and nurses rushed through the corridors, sometimes carrying patients on trolleys. The building itself was reasonably well preserved, although some areas definitely looked newer than the rest. It was located on Ciudad Bolívar, a relatively small city some five hundred kilometers southeast of Caracas. Shepard reasoned that it probably was the only operational hospital in the area. That would explain the large quantity of patients.

When they reached the third floor, Shepard and Garrus sat on the waiting area, while McAllister searched for the doctors treating his team. The room was large and rectangular. It had comfortable dark green seats, and large windows letting the sunlight in.

There was a family waiting there, in the other corner. They looked at them with curiosity for a few seconds, but then they resumed their talk. They were speaking in Spanish, one of the languages Shepard could understand without the help of her translator, thanks to the N7 program. A few minutes later, a young female doctor approached them, and they all left with her.

"Garrus," started Shepard when they were alone in the room, "it was just my imagination, or did you notice a little despair in the Illusive Man's words too?"

"I did," replied the turian shifting on his seat. "I also noticed just a little bit of humility, which is very unusual for him..."

"I don't believe that," she said leaning forward, looking straight at the other end of the room. "He might have seen the same I saw, when he came in contact with the Catalyst, but he'll still try to use it to his advantage." The Commander shook her head and closed her eyes for a second. Then she swiveled her head to look at Garrus. "I can't believe he's still using Reaper tech, that he's still transforming people to use as his troops..."

Garrus took her hands into his own and slightly lowered his head.

"He's taking survivors, Garrus," she insisted, "people who managed to elude death in the war, and killing them to use their corpses. It makes me sick just to think about it."

"Me too," admitted the turian, "but we'll stop him, Melody. He's gone too far."

She nodded and leaned against the back of her seat, dropping her hands to her sides. Garrus shifted on the dark green seat. For a few seconds they remained silent, each lost in their thoughts.

"You think it's true?" Shepard asked, breaking the silence. "That I survived my injures during the Battle of the Crucible, because of the implants?"

"It's... possible," the turian admitted. "In any case I'm glad you did."

"Yeah," she said leaning forward and placing her elbows on her spread knees, "but that sort of makes me sick too. For him, the ends justify the means." She rose her head and looked straight at her mate. "I'm not like that, but I've been a means to an end for him. I'm alive because he needed me. He used me, and I've accepted his terms because I saw little choice. I should have insisted the Council to listen to me, to give me their support..."

"Isn't that what you did?" Garrus said supportively. "You told me yourself that you tried as soon as you had a chance. They didn't believe you, and you wanted to protect the colonists from the Collectors. I would have done the same," he paused briefly and added, "Oh, wait, I did."

"Yeah," she said chuckling, "after I rescued you, Archangel."

"Well then," he said shifting again on his seat, "if you hadn't used his resources, I'd be dead. The Reapers would have used the Alpha Relay and exterminated the galaxy months before we even knew we could build a device to stop them. Everything you did was for the right reasons."

"I guess," she closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, "but you know I had to make terrible decisions, and a lots of innocents got caught on them."

"Ruthless calculation," stated Garrus, "and that comes with war. You didn't make anyone suffer on purpose, you didn't fund sick experiments for your own personal gain. It's not your fault that the Illusive Man brought you back to life. You had no say in the matter."

"If I had, I would have chosen not to be brought back," she confessed in a low voice. "I can't imagine how many people suffered during the Lazarus project, how many sick experiments they had to conduct just to get my cells working again..."

"Don't think about it," Garrus pleaded. His steel blue eyes fixed on hers, filled with emotion. "Just... don't. Every soul alive today, is still here because you made the impossible, and you will again, as many times as needed. If you hadn't survived, who'd have warned us about the rest of the Reapers? The Illusive Man just won't cooperate with us. You, on the other hand, will find a way. I trust you."

"So," Shepard started, "you tend to expect the worst, except when it comes to me?"

Garrus didn't reply, because in that moment, Ian McAllister entered the waiting room and walked straight to them. He had something in his right hand. It was a disk, and he handed it to Shepard. She took it and both herself and Garrus got up.

"Take it to Hackett," McAllister said pointing at the disk. "It's the information that Cloutier downloaded. She's still in surgery but I secured her omni-tool."

"Roger that," said Shepard.

"I'll stay here a few more hours," continued the Major. "The people you saved from the factory are being treated. It's probably too soon to know if they'll recover, but doctors are optimistic. Most of my men are out of danger," he paused and seemed to be thinking something. After a while he added, "You know? I did keep some soldiers alive during the war, but not as many as I wanted. Is not like I can do a lot here in this hospital, but I want to stay. I know soldiers die, but..."

"I understand," said the Commander.

"I hope Cerberus doesn't counterattack right now," added Ian, "because I don't have a team ready."

"Oh, don't worry," said Garrus taking a step forward. "I'll put together a turian team in minutes, when we get to London."

"That's great," said McAllister, nodding. "But don't think you'll take all the credits," he joked.

"Speaking of which," stepped in Shepard, "the trap I laid for Cerberus in that lab, using the comm in their helmet? Wasn't my idea. I was just recycling something Alenko did on Mars."

"Her ideas usually involve explosions," commented Garrus, smiling, "random destruction and property damage. If you ever lose track of her on the field, just follow the smoke."

"It's a good thing, that you tell me this," said Ian to Shepard, ignoring Garrus' joke. "Is not that I doubted Alenko before, but now I know he must have tried his best to keep all of his Division alive..."

"Oh?" asked Shepard.

"My sister. Blair," McAllister clarified. "She was one of Alenko's students in the Biotic Division. She was only 22. Same age as Jo Cloutier..."

"I'm sorry," said Shepard, sympathetic. She lightly put a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't know you had a biotic sister."

"Thanks," said the Major. "My mom participated in an operation against batarian pirates. They smuggled in eezo and she didn't know she was pregnant," he paused for a moment, and added, "My parents were serving on the SSV Lusaka. The ship was part of the Second Fleet." Shepard remembered how Hackett had explained her he had to sacrifice the entire Second Fleet to provide cover for the Third and the Fifth Fleets, during the attack to the Arcturus Station. She felt heavy. She could only imagine how much he must had suffered. Obeying a sudden impulse, she hugged him.

"Thanks, Shepard," said Ian responding to her hug.

She pulled away after a few seconds.

"Well," she said waving the disk he had given her, "I have work to do, Major."

"Of course, Commander," said McAllister. "Dismissed and all, you know."

"Yeah," Shepard said, turning to leave, "see you later."

The shuttle transported Shepard and Garrus back to the Alliance's base in London. Admiral Hackett was waiting in the Landing Zone, already alerted that they had obtained intel from the operations in Venezuela.

"Shepard," said Hackett, "the news are already speaking about inexplicable fires in the Venezuelan jungle."

"Had to be done," the Commander explained. "I have the intel we gathered."

The Admiral gestured for Shepard and Vakarian to follow him, and they did. The other soldiers around them moved away, to continue with what they were doing but also out of respect.

"What happened?" asked Hackett. His tone and expression showed some resignation.

"Sir, the Illusive Man spoke to us," Shepard told him as they walked. "He used a QE device. He... knows," she finished, halting on her walk.

"He knows what exactly?" asked the Admiral, stopping too.

"About the rest of the Reapers," informed Garrus, who was also standing before them. "It seems he had a vision similar to the one Shepard had, when he took control of the Catalyst."

"I... see," said Hackett, taking a hand to his own chin.

"Admiral?" started Garrus, "I can put together a turian team to help with the Cerberus situation, if you agree."

"Yes, Vakarian, thank you," said the human. He looked older and more tired than ever.

Garrus made a salute, and left.

The Admiral looked at the Commander, and they resumed their walk.

"What else did the Illusive Man say?" asked Hackett, "Why is he doing all this?"

"He wouldn't say," replied Shepard shaking her head. "That's the first thing I asked him. Oh, and he also mentioned he read my medical reports."

"Your medical reports?" asked the Admiral, shocked. "They're classified. I wonder what his sources are..."

"Sir, he's still using Reaper tech," informed the Commander. "He's still turning his troops into that... husk-like state. I don't know why, but he insists that he wants to protect humanity from the Reapers. Now he says that if he could control a portion of them, he could use them to keep all the other Reapers from the Universe at bay. Oh, and he's manufacturing a new mech model, the 'Pallas', that is cheaper than the Atlas."

"And the intel you brought?" he asked.

"Encrypted."

"Give it to EDI to work on it. And Commander," he added, "good job."

"You should say that to McAllister," she said pointing back with her thumb, as if the Major was behind them in the shuttle, "I was just following orders. He stayed behind to check on his team."

"Yeah, he told me," said the Admiral nodding. "I'm not sure he'd agree that you were just following his orders, but in any case I'm glad you make a good team. Dismissed, Commander."

Shepard gave all the intel to EDI, and then took a cab back to her home. She needed a shower. And to start packing.


	23. Ch 23: Keeps getting better and better

Chapter 23: Keeps getting better and better

When Garrus arrived to their house, Shepard had already packed all her clothes – not that she had many – and her model ships. She was standing before the aquarium, trying to decide how exactly would she pack the fishes, or if she'd leave them to the future owners and get new ones for her ship.

The turian entered their bedroom, but he stood there, by the door, frozen. His eyes went from the boxes, to the empty display cabinets, to the human Commander he lived with. She walked up to where he was and put her hands on his waist. He was still wearing his armor, but she had time to change to her N7 hoodie and a pair of black pants.

"Yeah, I know," she told him, "I should have spoken with you before, but I couldn't keep still, and lately it seems we're always busy-"

"These boxes," Garrus interrupted her, pointing at the offending objects. "Your model ships are in there?"

"I've been thinking a lot," she said moving away from him, towards her aquarium, "and I really don't feel comfortable in this house. Now that the Normandy is repaired..." she added, looking at the fishes.

"Of course," said the turian.

She swiveled to look at him."But it's not like I wasn't gonna ask your opinion, I just-"

"I understand," he interrupted her again. "It was probably too soon."

"What do you mean?" Shepard asked, turning to face him.

"Oh?" Garrus looked surprised, off-balance. "What do **you** mean?"

"I want to know if it's OK for you to live on the Normandy," she said. "I can unpack and put everything where it was, but I was thinking it's probably safer for you anyway to live there. Now you're part of the turian government and the Primarch believes you could all suffer an attack. The ship's near the Alliance's base, that should detract many potential attackers."

"Oh, you..." he started, walking up to where she was. She noticed that he seemed relieved. "Yes, yes, that sounds fine."

"You didn't think I meant I was moving without you, did you?" she asked, amused. She started fiddling with the straps of his armor, a playful smile dancing on her face.

"No, no, of course not..." he tried to sound convincing, but his tone gave him away.

"You did!" she laughed softly, and a piece of his armor fell in her hands. She put it on the floor and reached for him. "You silly turian, how could you possibly think that I wanted to live without you?"

They made love on the desk, and then on the couch and the bed. It had been a long day, and they both needed the stress relief and to feel close to each other.

After a short nap and a shower, they finished packing and informed the cook that Liara had hired for them, that they were moving. The man insisted that he still wanted to work for them on the ship, at least for as long as they were on Earth. Shepard accepted because she knew Garrus loved the dishes he prepared. It didn't bother her that he was most probably one of Liara's agent, because she could trust the Shadow Broker. They arranged transportation of their belongings to the Normandy, except for a few turian decorations that Garrus decided to donate to the turian embassy.

They found Liara waiting for them in the hangar. She was standing outside the ship, near the cargo bay entrance.

"Shepard," said the asari walking over to the Commander, some concern visible on her features, "is there something wrong?"

"Hello, Liara," said the human female with a half smile on her lips. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I know you decided to abandon the house the geth gave-"

"One day, T'Soni," interrupted Shepard, chuckling, "I'll do something you'll know nothing about. I'll keep it a secret for **years**, I swear." She lightly tapped the asari's arm, obviously amused. "But thanks for coming. Let's see what we've got."

The three of them entered the Normandy, and were greeted by Joker. The pilot didn't seem thrilled when he was informed that the Commander and Vakarian were going to live on the ship.

"Something wrong, Joker?" Shepard asked.

"No, no," quickly replied the human pilot, "Nothing at all, Commander. I should... probably go now. Things to do and all. EDI and Traynor are on the War Room."

The man vanished as fast as he could, considering the difficulties he had for walking. When he was gone, Liara informed:

"Joker has been living on the ship for some time now." Her tone was neutral, soft, like most times she spoke.

"Oh, that explains it," commented Garrus, amused. "He probably went to hide stuff."

"War Room it is, people," ordered Shepard, taking the lead. She really didn't want to speculate about her pilot's sex life. She was no prude, but for her some matters should remain private, out of respect.

Only Specialist Traynor and the physical platform of EDI were inside the War Room. They were talking with each other, but turned to look at the three people entering the room. Shepard wasn't used to seeing the place so empty, and she couldn't help feeling a little nostalgia. Not that the old times had been particularly good, but she had grown on ships and she missed seeing several soldiers walking around.

The Commander walked over to where the two women were, followed by the turian and the asari.

"Commander," said Samantha Traynor, "EDI decrypted the formula for the substance Cerberus was using, and for the components for their new mech. I'm tracking their list of suppliers, basing on the logs of their communications and the world providers of specific materials."

"Great," said Shepard. "The providers are necessarily from Earth?"

"Materials brought from Mars or other Solar System planets," informed EDI, "are controlled by the Alliance. It could be technically possible for Cerberus to have their own ships to gather resources, but it's very unlikely that they could have gone undetected."

"Plus," added Liara, "it would be cheaper to work with suppliers from Earth."

"Keep on it, and let me know if anything comes up," requested the Commander. She left the room and started working on her official report. She hadn't progressed much, however, when EDI's voice requested her presence. She closed the file and walked over to where the rest were.

"What did you find?" she asked, approaching the center of the War Room.

"Shepard, you will not like this," anticipated Liara.

"I located Cerberus' suppliers," said Specialist Traynor, "and from them, I tracked the flow of payments. EDI overrode the security measures to identify the owners of the accounts the credits were deposited in."

"And?" asked the Commander, leaning over the border of the display panel.

"Well, we didn't find only business men," Samantha's tone was hesitant. "There are many politicians on the list, people in high places in several Earth's governments."

"So, Cerberus is bribing politicians," commented Shepard.

"But then I had a hunch," continued Traynor. "I thought it would be a good idea to track the source of the payments. We found that some of the credits came **from** several national budgets..."

"Some nations on Earth," completed EDI, "are funding Cerberus, in addition to private companies."

Shepard pushed herself straight, and alternately looked at all the people present in the room. For a few minutes, nobody dared to break the silence.

"Does Hackett know this?" the Commander finally asked.

"I've just forwarded him this information," said EDI.

"Good," said Shepard. What she didn't say but she was thinking was: "_This is just great. As if the man didn't have enough problems as it is. Hell, as if we all didn't have enough._"

"If I can help, let me know," offered Liara.

"Yeah, thanks," said the Commander nodding to the asari. "Good work everyone. Let's wait for orders," she added. She realized it was a good thing that she wasn't in charge, because she wanted to tell Liara to manipulate information in order to overthrow the guilty governments, and help people elect more sensible representatives. However, after the terrible war they had all survived, it was probably not the best course of action. She knew people needed some sense of stability, if the normal functioning of society was to be recovered.

She retired to her cabin – their cabin – and finished the report. Garrus silently placed all of their belongings in place, including the space hamster.

"Aren't you tired?" the turian asked after some time. She could notice the concern in his eyes and voice.

"No, but sleep if you want to," she replied. "I'll just-"

"No you won't," he said interrupting her. He lifted her from her chair and carried her to their bed. She was confused at first, but delighted a second later. He slowly undressed her, and took off his own clothes. "You won't have bad dreams," he whispered, "because I'll be here for you."

She smiled to him, a genuine smile that so rarely crossed her lips. She realized she couldn't possibly love him more.

The next morning, Garrus and Shepard were having breakfast alone on the mess hall, when they saw Ian McAllister coming in from the elevator.

"Major!" Shepard greeted him, but without getting up from her chair.

"I was told I could find you here," explained McAllister. He sat in front of the Commander, and beside the turian.

"Did you have breakfast?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you," he replied, nodding. "You'd be glad to know that Cloutier will be fine. She's awake, and she asked me to thank you for saving her."

"She has nothing to thank me for," said the Commander. "She would have done the same. But yes, I'm glad."

"I'm just transmitting the message," the Major took a deep breath, and continued, "Anyway, Hackett told me what Traynor found."

"Don't you just love it?" said Shepard in a tone full of irony.

"Yeah," he paused. "I don't think he knows what to do about this yet."

They remained silent for a moment, each lost in their thoughts. After a while, when she had finished her breakfast, Shepard said to McAllister:

"So, you wanted answers?"

"Indeed," he replied. "Let's start with the husk-like Cerberus troops."

"Kaidan and I first noticed this on Mars," explained the Commander. "Later we found out that the Illusive Man was trying to learn about the indoctrination process, to control the Reapers."

"It was creepy as hell," commented Garrus. "He had control of Sanctuary, and used the refugees to create husks. He wanted to see if he could make them respond to the Reaper's signal. Ultimately he wanted to extend it to the Reapers themselves."

"Creepy as hell indeed," said the Major. "But why would he still do it? He can't learn new information now that, thanks God or whatever greater power you believe in, he doesn't have Reapers to test his theories..."

"Perhaps he lost it?" conjectured Melody.

"Or perhaps," said the turian, "he found that such troops are easy to control. I don't think these creatures ask many questions, or contradict his orders."

"Makes sense," commented Ian, "in a very disgusting way."

"Most things he does are disgusting," said the Commander, taking a deep breath. After a pause she added, "He thinks the rules don't apply to him. That's why not even the rules of science would stop him." She looked at the other human in the eyes, and said: "He revived a person. He invested a lot of credits and had scientists bring someone back from the dead."

"Are you kidding me?" McAllister asked, shocked.

"She isn't," said Garrus, extending a hand over the table to take hers.

"I wouldn't kid about that," she said, accepting the turian's hand but not steering away her gaze from McAllister, "because that person is me."

The Major gulped visibly. Garrus let his hand fall back to his lap a few seconds later. A heavy curtain of silence fell upon them.

After what it seemed a long time, Ian asked:

"That's why he mentioned you have implants?"

"Yes," she replied, her tone deadly serious. "They needed to use some cybernetics to revive me. My brain is completely human, though."

"That is..." started Ian, but he stopped himself. He moved uncomfortably on his seat.

"Creepy? Unbelievable?" tried the Commander.

"No, I mean..." he paused. "Never mind what I meant. It's a lot to process. I can't imagine how you could handle it." After another pause, he added, "So... is there a Heaven?"

"I don't know," she honestly replied, "I don't remember anything. One minute I was dying from lack of air, spaced after an attack on the original Normandy. A minute later I was on a medical table. When I fully woke up, the base was under attack and they informed me that I had been dead for two years."

"Wow," said McAllister. "You're right, it is creepy. Not because you are, but... OK, perhaps a little," he joked.

"It's fine," she said, half smiling. "Obviously not a lot of people know about this. For instance I never told my mother."

"You think she'd freak out?" Ian asked.

"No," she replied shaking her head. "She wouldn't know whether to punch the Illusive Man, or hug him for bringing me back and then punch him. But it'd be heavy on her. As you said, it's a lot to process." After a pause she asked, "Did you have more questions?"

"No... and if I did, I forgot them all now," the Major replied. He looked around. "The legendary Normandy," he commented, with his eyes fixed on the ceiling above them.

"Would you like a tour?" she asked getting up.


	24. Ch 24: Laying out strategy

Chapter 24: Laying out strategy.

Admiral Hackett walked from one end of the room to the other, not looking at the people gathering around him in a semicircle. They have been there for only a couple of minutes, but Hackett seemed to be waiting for someone else to arrive before he started talking.

They weren't inside the Alliance's base. The Admiral had summoned them to a nearby building that still wasn't repaired, and thus wasn't being used. They had to climb to the first floor, literally because there were no stairs. The large hall they were in had all four walls however, unlike the rest of the building. The windows had been covered with wooden panels, thus making it necessary to use artificial light. Several pieces of furniture lied scattered on the floor, none large enough to be recognizable. Still, there was enough room for the Admiral's incessant pacing back and forth.

Shepard looked around, and the eyes of Liara met hers. Garrus was standing next to the Commander, and to his other side was a member of the turian team he had gathered. More precisely, his old friend from childhood, General Nari Vilicus. A few steps away Samantha Traynor shyly looked at her nails. Kaidan Alenko had a thousand dark storms crossing his brown eyes. It didn't seem wise to ask him about it at that very moment, but Melody guessed it probably had to do with his duties. On the other side, EDI was standing next to Ian McAllister, both seeming calm and patiently waiting for Hackett to start talking.

The door opened behind them, and Shepard swiveled to see who had entered. When she could see nobody by the door, she curved half of her mouth in a smile.

"Kasumi Goto," she greeted the empty space behind her.

As the door closed, the tactical cloak hiding the Japanese thief dropped, revealing her hooded figure.

"Good to see you in one piece, Shep," said Kasumi with a smile on her face, approaching the Commander.

When the Admiral saw her, he stopped his pacing and stood facing the people he had summoned. "Thank you for coming, Miss Goto," he said to the thief.

"It was hard to refuse your invitation," replied Kasumi looking at Hackett, standing with a hand on her waist, "after you promised to get me a full pardon for those devices I... inadvertently took from the Crucible project."

"It's a mystery how things tend to fall in your pockets, Kasumi," commented Garrus with his mandibles shaped in a turian grin.

"Aww... you're still at her side. How romantic!" said the Japanese woman, deflecting the subject.

Shepard shook her head and looked at the Admiral.

"As you all know," said Hackett ignoring the banter and looking at each of them, "the situation with Cerberus is worse than we had first assumed. They are receiving support from human governments, and they're still using indoctrination techniques. The two facts could very well be the same, but we can't act openly without risking civil conflict in the human population. That is the last thing we need, with the rebuilding efforts already straining our energies."

He made a pause for effect. Each of them were lost in their respective thoughts, respectfully waiting for the Admiral to continue speaking.

"That's why I asked you to come," kept saying Hackett. He was standing still, all business. "Each of you are the best at what you do, and I need the best. I also need discretion and I know I can trust you. I have specific tasks for each, but I want you all working together." He looked at Samantha. "Traynor, I'm counting on you to create a safe communication network to keep the people in this room connected at all times."

"Aye, aye, sir," replied the young Specialist, saluting in military style. Shepard looked at her, and could catch sight of her self-doubts, but only because she knew Samantha. The Commander also knew that the younger woman was perfectly capable of the task. She would speak with the Specialist later.

"We know that Cerberus is manufacturing mechs and neurotoxins," continued the Admiral, gesturing with his hand. "We can't take control of the factories, but we know that they have to transport their raw materials. Liara, EDI and Traynor will work to find out the convoys routes. I need the turian and the human teams intercepting those convoys," he said looking at Garrus, Nari and Ian. "That will buy us some time while we work on a more permanent solution."

"Sounds like fun, Admiral," commented Nari, shifting her weight to one leg.

"Good you see it that way, General," Hackett paused and then looked at Kasumi. "Goto, we have information on the accounts Cerberus is using to fund their operations. I feel the Alliance could put some of those credits to better use, but I never said that and our accountants don't need to know."

"I like the way you think, Admiral," said Kasumi, smiling. She nodded, and kept an attitude of confidence, almost as if the task was already done just because she thought of it.

"EDI," continued Hackett, "I'll give you access to Alliance R&D profiles. I need you to select people to research an antidote for the indoctrinating neurotoxin. Later we'll see how to use it, depending on what shape it takes."

"I can analyze behavior of people in high positions," stepped in Liara gesturing with her gloved hands, "and make a list of possibly indoctrinated subjects."

"You do that," said the Admiral, nodding to the asari. "However, it is possible that some people collaborating with Cerberus truly believe in human supremacy. We know how persuading the Illusive Man can be. We might need another... approach with those people."

T'Soni nodded, her eyes shining with intelligence as she understood what he was implying. He didn't have to actually say the word 'blackmail' out loud. Shepard couldn't help remembering the young, innocent asari she had rescued from Therum three and a half years ago. She had been so inexperienced, that she had trapped herself within a prothean field. Now she was this dark, accomplished Shadow Broker. Of course, the Commander had changed too with everything she had to live through, but she wasn't so keenly aware of those changes.

"We also need to reinforce cooperation between species," continued Steven Hackett. He walked a few steps, until he was directly in front of Kaidan. "Alenko, more than ever, we need the Council. We need to show the galaxy that we don't need a common enemy to work together. I also want you to work on increasing public support. It'll make things difficult for Cerberus."

"I could..." started Kaidan, hesitant, "organize a world summit. Get the human governments to commit to integration actions. I think that..." he paused, as if choosing the words, "I think we could use the current media campaigns, make them look bad if they refuse. Perhaps gain other journalists to our cause."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," said the Admiral. "I know you can pull it off." His blue eyes shifted to fix on Shepard. "And we need the Normandy as a symbol again. I'm planning on a public act, broadcast planet-wide, to let people know she will fly once more. You know what to do, Shepard."

She nodded. Of course she knew. She was the wild card, just as she felt she would be when the Admiral started telling everybody else their tasks. She'd end up doing a little bit of everything, bringing the teams together, and supporting them when they felt they were failing. Nothing she wasn't used to.

"Any questions?" asked Hackett.

"Do you have any house I could use?" asked Kasumi. "Some place where I could put my books and paintings, nothing fancy..."

"Of course," the Admiral said, smiling. He looked at the rest of the people gathered there. "Anything else?"

They all looked at each other, but nobody spoke.

"Good luck, then," said Hackett. "Dismissed."

All the military personnel saluted. Then all the people present turned to leave the room. One by one they crossed the door, with Shepard being the last. Before she exited, however, she couldn't help looking back. The man standing there was a different Admiral Hackett than the one she had seen seconds ago. He looked tired and older. He was in the same spot where they had left him, looking down at the shattered pieces of furniture at his feet.

The Commander knew that what she was about to do was inappropriate, but she couldn't help herself. That man had always protected her. She had learned that much on the lair of the Shadow Broker. The previous one. Furthermore, he had always believed in her. Now he seemed worn-out, and she couldn't leave it at that.

She walked back to the center of the room. She heard the door closing behind her.

"Sir?" she asked, not hiding her sympathy in her voice. She kept a respectful distance, but her body language was relaxed, friendly. "Are you all right?"

He lifted his head, and his gaze met hers. "Just a little tired," the Admiral replied in a tone matching his words, "but I'll be just fine. Thank you for your concern, Shepard."

"Tell me if I'm out of line here, but... do you have any family? Someone...?" she interrupted herself, not sure of how to ask if he had people he could lean on.

"I used to," he replied, with more resignation and acceptance than grief or sadness, "a long time ago. A very long time ago."

"I'm sorry, sir," Shepard said lowering her head a bit, "I didn't mean to..."

"I know what you meant," he said in a convinced tone. He smiled to the Commander. "I'm sure that if my daughter had had a chance of growing up, she'd be just like you."

"Quite of a headache she'd be for you," she said chuckling, trying to lighten up the mood of their conversation. She didn't know that he had lost a daughter, but by the way he spoke about it, he seemed to have come to terms with it.

"Yes, but I'd be proud of her," he said nodding. He smiled to the Commander, and she smiled back at him. Neither needed to add any words to clarify the meaning of what he just had said.

"Sir," she added after a brief silence, "if there's anything I can do... Not regarding my duties I mean. Those are crystal clear."

"I can see you aren't done saving the galaxy," he commented, grinning.

"Never," she replied shaking her head softly. "Not while I draw breath."

"I'm just... tired, Shepard," he admitted, lowering his head a bit. "Only tired. One would think that after fighting a war we inherited fifty thousand years ago, a war that could have ended with all sentient life in the galaxy, and winning... there would be time to rest. But there isn't. And please don't tell me we haven't won just yet, today don't tell me about your vision..."

"We won, sir," she quickly replied. "We won and we will prevail. You said it yourself, you have the best people working with you. We'll face any threat and win again, I **promise**." After a brief pause, she added, "Today you can rest. We'll get the job done."

"Thank you, Commander," he said looking at her. He looked visibly less fatigued.

"Sir?" she said as if it had just came to her mind, "I'm sorry that I was upset when you put me in charge of the frigate fleet the other day..."

"Don't worry about that," he told her shaking his head. "I'd be upset too, in your place."

She narrowed her eyes, intrigued.

"I know how you feel about it. I just had little choices..." he explained, and his tone sounded almost apologetic.

"No, really, it's not a problem," she said shaking her head. After a second, she added, "You know how I feel, huh? Have you spoke with my mother about it?"

"No need," he said smiling. "Your mother, then? Next time I'll ask her whatever I need to know about you."

"Yeah, good luck with that," she said chuckling. After a brief pause, and seeing that he appeared to be feeling better, she added, "I'd better go."


	25. Ch 25: Diplomatic issues I

**NOTE**: I'm sorry this chapter took so long, real life got in the way! I'll do my best to get back to my usual posting frequency. One thing is sure: I won't abandon this story!

* * *

Chapter 25: Diplomatic issues I

Cerberus never saw it coming. Three convoys down during the same day, and the Alliance wasn't even started. To be fair however, it wasn't just the Alliance's work. Two of the convoys were taken by the squads led by Garrus Vakarian and Nari Vilicus, while the rest of the human team could be discharged from the hospital. A few had only minor injuries and could return to active duty right away, but others would need a longer recovery time.

McAllister handed a grenade to Shepard. Behind the Major she could see the convoy's personnel knelt on the road, being taken in custody by the rest of their squad.

"Do me the honor, Commander?" Ian asked.

"Hell yeah," replied Shepard, taking the grenade. She removed the safety pin and tossed the explosive part towards the big truck. It blazed immediately.

"Nice bonfire," commented McAllister staring at the high flames. "Too bad I didn't bring any marshmallows to roast."

"I don't think those fumes would make them taste good," remarked the Commander. All the squad wore full helmets, but their prisoners didn't and they all started coughing. They weren't Cerberus troops, only regular people probably hired to do the job, but the Alliance wasn't going to take any risks. They would be interrogated, and what happened next with them wasn't McAllister's team problem.

They rushed their prisoners to their transport, and took off. A few minutes later, Shepard's omni-tool started beeping. She checked the signal. It came from Major Alenko.

"Kaidan," she said, opening the channel to see his face on the screen. She was sitting on a bench in the transport, surrounded by Alliance soldiers. Everyone had taken their helmets off. McAllister was checking on their prisoners, making sure they were in good health after the seconds they had to inhale whatever the truck was carrying.

"Shepard, can you make it to London tomorrow?" Alenko asked. He sounded worried or concerned about something.

"Sure, I'll be there," she replied right away. The Commander waited for a couple of seconds to see if he had anything to add, but since he kept silent she said, "Shepard out."

"Something wrong?" asked McAllister, who had moved to her position and was now standing in front of her. One of the soldiers sitting next to Shepard moved away, and the Major took the seat.

"Nah," she said resting her elbows on her spread legs, with her gaze fixed on some random point in front of her in the transport. "It's not like we're doing something important or anything," she said ironically. She sat straight and swiveled her head to look at Ian. "Will you miss me tomorrow?" she teased curving her lips in half a smile. If someone had asked her why did she treat McAllister with so much familiarity, she wouldn't have known what to answer. She certainly didn't ask it to herself. Sometimes she just trusted people, and she was right. Sometimes she even defended said people against the mistrust of others, like she had to defend Tali and Garrus against the mistrust of Ashley, and time would prove Shepard right. Perhaps she simply was that good at reading people; perhaps it was so natural to her, that she didn't have to question herself about it.

"I'll be fine, send me a picture of you or something," joked the Major, "minus the turian, of course. Some things are better left unseen." He got up and lightly tapped the shoulder of the Commander, "I knew you'd abandon us anyway," he added in a fake sad tone and crossed to the other end of the transport.

The next day she arrived early at the Alliance's base. Garrus was there too, which was a surprise because he hadn't told her he had been summoned. She walked straight to the turian and stopped next to him. He was the man she loved, but not even for a minute did she consider hugging him or showing him affection in any other way inside the base. Those kind of thoughts simply didn't cross her mind.

"Thought you'd be stopping trucks," she said to him matter-of-factly. She was wearing her Alliance formal uniform, something she only did when the occasion required it. She suspected Kaidan wanted her to meet dignitaries of some sort. Garrus was in his armor, something that didn't surprise her at all.

"I arrived in London about twenty minutes ago," the turian explained, shrugging. "Nari can take care of the operations, and the Primarch wants me to be here, in his behalf."

"Oh?" she asked. She wondered what else did the Primarch require from Garrus, but kept the question to herself.

"Good to see you both," she heard the voice of Kaidan from behind. She took a step back, turning in the same motion to face the newcomer. Alenko approached them. He was also wearing his formal uniform. "The meeting will take place in a building near the embassies, but we have time," he explained. He gestured the turian and the female human to follow him, and they complied. In front of the base, they could see an official transport waiting for them.

"Will it be a problem if I arrive with you both?" Garrus asked before entering the vehicle.

"No," said Kaidan as he went in. The other two followed. When they had accommodated, he added, "The other species already know where we all stand. That's why they insisted that the meeting should be held in neutral territory. We had to install a QEC for the Dalatrass."

"So, she'll be attending, so to speak?" asked Shepard. Her tone was unreadable, but it was only a reflexion of her own thoughts. Last time she ever spoke with Dalatrass Linron, they weren't exactly in good terms.

"Yes," replied Kaidan, "we will see the respectable holograms of the Dalatrass and Matriarch Misiara Codas, elected by the asari as their Council representative. That is, if we manage to have a Council."

They didn't speak much for the rest of their trip. Their transport stopped in front of a large building, five stories high. It didn't seem very special, but given the circumstances, it was pure luxury: it had glass on every window, and the front was actually well painted. It wasn't discolored or showed any other signs of war, unlike most structures around it.

"And they use this building for politics?" Shepard ask to no one in particular, as they were entering. "What a waste."

The inside was clean and well lit, with a lot of windows letting in the natural light. There were many plants as decoration, but otherwise they couldn't see much luxury, at least not in the traditional sense. They could see staff of each of the Council species, and they respectfully greeted the group as they walked. There were several closed doors, that probably led to offices or meeting rooms. They took the elevator to the last floor.

They exited to a small hall, where they could only see a door and two guards, a salarian and a turian. The guards opened the door for them, and they entered.

Shepard, Kaidan and Garrus found themselves in a ridiculously large room, filled with plants and white columns as if it was some sort of inside garden. It was a very beautiful place, with windows facing all four sides of the building, letting the morning sun bathe every single leaf with its light.

They noticed the circles of the quantum entanglement communicators on the center, drawn on the floor with decorations that reminded of Arabic writing. Looking around her, Shepard couldn't help hearing the voice of Tali in her head, saying: "_Shepard, do you know how many quarians could live here?_". The Commander smiled at the thought.

"How early are we?" she asked Kaidan while they were walking to the center of the room.

"Half an hour," replied Alenko. He seemed used to the appearance of the room.

"I don't like this place," commented Garrus. "Remember the Ardat-Yakshi monastery? Where we first saw banshees?"

"There won't be banshees here today, Garrus," said Kaidan, shaking his head softly. "But it's true, the architecture seems a lot more asari than human."

They heard the door open behind them and they looked back. It was the only door to the room, at least that they could see. Shepard suspected there would be a secret entrance or two.

A turian came in, in full armor except for the helmet. She had never seen him, but she recognized the gesture dancing on his face. It was an ironic grin, and it was directed at Garrus.

"I was hoping to be here first," the newcomer said, approaching them. She noticed the tone of humor in his voice. "Now I can't inspect the place the way I wanted to."

"Seeking for traps, Malen?" asked Vakarian, and before the other turian had time to reply, he told Shepard, "This is Malen Talyk, a very clever guy and a man who would never betray an ally. Or a friend."

"Nice to finally meet you," said Talyk extending his hand, "Commander Shepard."

"The pleasure is mine," she replied shaking his hand briefly. Garrus seemed to trust the man, therefore she decided she'd trust him as well. He didn't look like a politician, or behaved like one, but she could bet that was exactly what the galaxy needed. Sure he would be interesting to have around, if he was the choice of 'play-loose-with-strategy' Primarch Victus.

"Sorry for my manners," Malen said looking at Kaidan. "Good morning, Major Alenko. You understand, I was distracted by this ugly bastard," he said grinning at Garrus, "and his beautiful lady."

"I understand all right," Kaidan replied, absently looking at Shepard. She wished she could stomp on his foot only so he would stop doing that. Instead, she said:

"I never heard a turian describing a human as 'beautiful'. You better don't try to flatter me!" she added with a smile to appear polite, but she meant it.

"Oh, but you have to understand that I had a long term relationship with an asari," Malen said, as if that explained everything. "It ended the worse possible way it could have: she cheated on me." He shrugged and added, "It was a long time ago... and to be honest I don't even know if she survived the war. But let's not speak of those sad subjects, we are here and we're intent on rebuilding galactic politics. Today we define the politic map, one way or another."

"You sound sure," commented Kaidan in a tone that betrayed his own doubts.

"I am, Alenko. I am," repeated Talyk.

They kept talking for a while, and they were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn't notice the passing of time. At some point, the door opened again and they could see a salarian, wearing a hooded tunic, walking towards them.

"Good morning," said the newcomer when he was close, his gender only clear by the tone the translator used to interpret his voice, and because it was rare to see a female salarian outside of her home world, "my name is Dagnes Naur Henaran Sureem Tazor Iplon, but you may call me Tazor because we are not familiar enough for you to call me Iplon. No need to tell me your names, I recognize all of you. First and second human Spectres by the names of Melody Shepard and Kaidan Alenko, military rank Commander and Major of the Alliance respectively. War hero Garrus Vakarian, personal advisor of Primarch Victus of Palaven. Malen Talyk, twenty six citizenship tier in the turian Hierarchy, fulfilled diplomatic roles on uncountable worlds, suspected spy, once known as the partner of Inyala, only daughter of Sha'ira."

After his long speech, Shepard had two questions dancing on her mind: "_Who is this guy, that seems to know so much about us?_" and "_Sha'ira the Consort had a daughter?_".

"Suspected spy?" said Talyk chuckling. "Nobody ever said that to my face, but suspicion cannot simply be dissipated by words, can it?" he paused, seeming amused. "Now tell me, since you seem to know so much about everyone, do you happen to know if Inyala survived the war?"

"She's alive and well," Tazor replied. "She has a daughter herself, father unknown, too young to be yours."

At that moment the two circles at the center of the room started shining. Moments later, with seconds of difference, two flickering images appeared from each circle. One was the known face of Dalatrass Linron, who appeared to be upset to see Shepard, or perhaps that was her natural expression. The second figure was a beautiful asari of light blue skin and ample bosom. Her facial markings were purple and scattered across all her face. There was, however, something about her eyes that the Commander didn't like at all. She seemed to be uptight, and her facial expression was sour.

Before the Dalatrass or anyone else had a chance to speak, the asari - who had to be no other than Matriarch Codas, the asari elected representative – said:

"I see no reason for a Spectre, whose rank haven't been confirmed by the new Council, and a turian who is not representative Talyk, to be present on this meeting."


	26. Ch 26: Diplomatic issues II

Chapter 26: Diplomatic issues II

Shepard clenched her hands into fists. That asari Matriarch was lucky to be just an hologram transmitted by a QEC, because otherwise she probably would have been grabbed by her clothes. How dared she question her presence, and especially Garrus' – who was there to represent the most powerful turian Primarch – on the meeting?

"I do not object the turian advisor Garrus Vakarian to remain in this room," said hastily the salarian representative, Iplon Tazor. His movements were fast and sharp. His skin was gray with a yellowish shade. He spoke almost as fast as the late Mordin Solus, but something about him didn't make him look so trustworthy. "As for Commander Shepard," Tazor continued, "I'd rather have here the person who managed to make peace between the geth and the quarians. Personal reasons if you may, but I'm sure enough of us agree if it came to a democratic decision. With all due respect, Matriarch Codas." The salarian glanced at Shepard's fists, and she immediately tried to relax. He was right, there was no point in fighting there even if that asari was a bitch.

"Not to mention," added Malen Talyk taking a step forward, "Commander Shepard saved the previous Council on two different occasions. During the attack of Sovereign to the Citadel, and on the first Cerberus coup. That is, without talking of all the other things we owe her." Talyk gave Melody a significant look. His caparace was dark yellow, almost golden like his eyes. He had white colony markings.

"I won't deny how much do we owe to our war heroes," clarified Matriarch Codas, visibly softening her tone, "but that doesn't mean that they should become politicians. However if the rest of you believe that they should be here, I won't speak further of the matter."

"I think we all agree who the representatives of the new Council will be," said Dalatrass Linron, speaking for the first time since her hologram appeared. "However, the turians and the humans had been suggesting that the Council should be given more power and capacity of independent action than the previous one. I think that would be a mistake, since the Council was created to maintain peace between the species, not to decide for them."

"The Primarch is not resigning his position anytime soon, Dalatrass," said Malen gesturing with his hands, "and neither are you or the human authorities. All we say is that the Council should be able to decide for matters of galactic importance, leaving the decisions that concern only one species to its respective authorities."

"And what happens when those decisions conflict?" asked Misiara Codas with an ill-disposed tone.

"Our priority should be the well-being of all Council species," said Kaidan slightly tilting his head. "The recent war showed us that we have to stay together, to cooperate. Together we are stronger."

"That's simply not realistic, Alenko," said the asari from the QEC circle on the floor. "You cannot expect one single species to resign their best interests in favor of the Council. Humans are too new to galactic politics, you just don't know how it's like. Perhaps it was too soon to let your people be part of the Council."

"I guess the asari know better," stepped in Shepard, trying hard to keep her rage at bay, "hiding a prothean beacon even when it meant the death of the previous Council..."

"Watch your words, Spectre," said Matriarch Codas, menacing.

"Please, people, please!" intervened Malen Talyk raising both hands and lowering them. "The past is the past, we are required to learn from it but also to create a brighter future. Trillions of souls are counting on us. We cannot let them down, let ourselves down. Kaidan Alenko is right, we work better as one united front. We are in better shape to face any threats the galaxy might still throw at us, if we cooperate. I cannot speak for other species, but the turians are ready to share what little resources we still have, to create a strong Council, ready to defend our worlds and the peace we have created with each other."

"Perhaps," said the Dalatrass with her hand on her chin, "but basically what you're saying is that the new Council should decide on things that have galactic importance, thus placing your authority over mine. You'd have more power than me to judge what's best for the Salarian Union. And who is to say what matters are really of galactic importance? I see a lot of gray areas and I don't like it. That's not acceptable."

"My thoughts exactly," said the asari representative nodding. "The Council functioned perfectly well for thousands of years in its previous form, and I don't see any reasons to change that, other than your stubbornness."

"The Council might have functioned fine," stepped in Garrus, advancing one foot, "but it showed that it didn't have the strength to face a threat like the Reapers, and not because its species lacked that strength. If the Council had acted before, we could have won without taking so many losses."

"Not relevant now," said Iplon Tazor with his fast, analytical voice. "I doubt we'll ever face a threat so big in scale in the future, the chances are too low."

"What were the chances that a race of sentient machines would try to exterminate us all?" asked Shepard annoyed, narrowing her eyes. "But it happened, right? And it could happen again. I had a vision during the last battle, in which I saw Reapers lurking outside other galaxies."

"You could be saying that just to manipulate our fears, Commander," said Tazor with a hand on his chin. "But even assuming that it's true, and that your vision was real and not induced by your own traumatic experiences, we already know how to build a device that will stop them."

"I spoke with the Illusive Man," she said exasperated and pointing with a finger to the door of the large room, "he had the same vision when he took control of the Catalyst! He tried to recruit me to his cause. He had no way of knowing that I had seen the same thing! He didn't even mention that I might have!"

A solid, heavy silence feel on the room. It was so absolute and dense, that for a moment it almost seemed as if they could hear the plants around them actually growing. For seconds that seemed like hours, nothing moved in that huge indoors garden.

"Like I said," continued speaking Tazor in a calm tone, breaking the silence, "we can build another Crucible if necessary. Even if we have to fear another Reaper invasion, that's no reason to resign our individuality as species, our power to decide over our own fate."

"That's not even what we are offering," said Malen, shaking his head.

"Oh, but that is what it will happen," stepped in Matriarch Codas, shaking her head, "if we agree to what you are proposing. The asari simply cannot accept what you want."

"Neither the salarian," said Dalatrass Linron flatly.

"What about this crazy idea that is just crossing my mind?" asked Malen Talyk, glancing briefly at Shepard and Garrus. If turians could wink, she had the impression that he may have done that. "What if we include other species that had embassies on the Citadel, and make them part of the discussion? Right now we aren't going anywhere, with two species wanting one thing, another two wanting the opposite, and none yielding an inch."

"Not acceptable," said the Dalatrass with a sour expression.

"A nice sentiment, but what could they possibly add to this discussion?" asked Codas shrugging. Shepard didn't like her condescending tone. "They are not strong enough to play a factor in galactic politics, and like humans, they simply don't know how things are done."

"What about the fact that they are sentient beings just like us?" asked Kaidan raising his hands. "The volus for instance could help in rebuilding the galactic economics..."

"A client race for the turians," said the Dalatrass shaking her head. "I don't want another vote for them."

"Well, what about the quarians?" asked Malen shaping his mandible into a turian grin. "They have a strong fleet and nobody could accuse them of thinking the same as any of us here, for convenience. They used to have an embassy that they lost because of the geth incident, but since now they resolved that conflict and both races were decisive during the final battle..."

"That's crazy," said the asari, annoyed. "You are all crazy, you cannot seriously be comparing measures taken during the despair of the war, with the measures we should be taking now!"

"I guess that means that giving the quarians an embassy is out of the question," said Garrus, briefly glancing at Shepard.

"Of course it is," replied Misiara Codas, her tone clearly showing that she didn't even thing the matter deserved any discussion.

"Well, let's suppose for a minute that we accept your conditions," continued Vakarian. "What happens next, about the rest of the species? What about the krogan, for instance? Are we turning our back on them, denying them an embassy for instance?"

"The krogan are dangerous and they always will be," stated Linron moving her hand from one side to the other.

"There's a saying on Earth," commented Shepard, trying hard once again to keep calm and cool, "'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer'. I **really** don't think that upsetting the krogan would be the wisest course of action right now." She could understand what Garrus was doing, and she had the hunch that Malen would also agree.

"That is because **you** cured the genophage, Commander Shepard!" yelled the Dalatrass, pointing at her with her finger. "I gave you a way out, a means to get krogan's support with a sabotaged cure, but you had to 'do the right thing', and you doomed us all! The blood of my people will be on your hands!"

"It doesn't have to be that way, Dalatrass!" yelled the Commander in turn. "The krogan are ready to build a future for their children! Their uprising was your fault, and it will happen again if you refuse to listen!"

"I'm listening then," said Linron, breathing deeply. "What do you have to say?"

"Ask any turian," Shepard replied pointing at Garrus and Talyk. "They'll tell you that many krogan treat them like brothers-in-arms, even considering that the turian were responsible for deploying the genophage in the first place."

"That's true," expressed Malen, nodding.

"Dalatrass," continued Shepard, "you believe that the krogan are brainless brutes, but that is because you don't know them the way I do. They apply their intelligence to practical things, and most have a strong sense of honor. I cannot say that's true for all of them, but likewise I wouldn't say that all humans have honor. Or even all turians," she made a brief pause, "Look, you don't have to trust them, and they'll probably never trust the salarians. Just give them a chance. Let them prove that even when they have been wronged, they can forgive in the best interest of their children."

"Nice words, Commander," said the Dalatrass slowly shaking her head, "but things just don't work like that. Creatures like the krogan cannot be stopped by words."

"Politics are only words, Dalatrass," stepped in Malen, his golden eyes glaring with intensity. "Words that stop wars, or precipitate them. Unfortunately, today, politics are words we don't agree on. Allow me, however, to ask you one more time: you disagree on giving the Council more resources and power of decision, and you refuse to give embassies to the races that helped us during the war?" the turian looked at the Dalatrass, at Iplon Tazor and at Matriarch Codas.

"Absolutely," replied the asari representative with her holographic gaze fixed on Talyk. "We have a responsibility towards our own people and to the races that already had embassies on the Citadel, and the species you mentioned just cannot be trusted."

"Why do you have to ask again?" demanded to know the Dalatrass. "I told you already. No, and no."

Malen kept looking at Tazor, until the male salarian realized he was expected to answer.

"The Dalatrass has spoken," Iplon said, shrugging slightly.

"Very well," said Malen, nodding, and looked at Garrus.

Vakarian stepped forward and adopted a formal attitude. "In the name of Primarch Victus and representing the turian Hierarchy, I wish to offer the Salarian Union and the Asari Republics a non-aggression pact. You will receive all the formal documents to consider it and if you agree, it will be signed later."

"I..." stepped in Kaidan, hesitant, his voice betraying his surprise, "I can offer the same in the name of the Systems Alliance." He was obviously unaware of the plan of the turians, but he took the decision to join them on the spot. Shepard felt nothing but pride on her heart for him. For her former Lieutenant. Her friend.

"Have a good day, ladies and gentleman," said Garrus, and with that, he turned to leave the room, followed by Shepard, Kaidan and Malen Talyk.

Once they were outside, on the street, Shepard softly punched her turian on his arm.

"Good one, Garrus!" she exclaimed, joyfully. "What now?"

"Now we negotiate with the volus, the quarians, the geth and the krogan to have a Council of our own," Vakarian explained, grinning and taking her by her waist. "But allow me to feel confident about this, Commander."


	27. Ch 27: Diplomatic issues III

Chapter 27: Diplomatic issues III

"You mean, right now?" asked Shepard, bewildered, as she was following Malen Talyk down the street that was mostly empty. She was also with Garrus Vakarian, who walked at her side, and Kaidan Alenko.

"Sometimes in politics you have to act fast, Commander," explained Talyk turning his head but not slowing down his pace. "Now, tell me again about this vision you had?"

"There isn't so much more to say, really," she replied taking a few steps forward until she was at Talyk's side. "I saw Reapers outside every galaxy in this Universe."

"We need to build another Crucible ASAP then," replied Malen. It was a welcome change not having the turian representative questioning her word, not having him saying 'we have dismissed that claim'. Of course, it took a full galactic scale war, and the death of the previous representative, to get them to believe her without overwhelming proof.

"And another Catalyst," reminded him the human representative, Kaidan Alenko.

"That too," agreed Malen. He stopped and turned to face the three of them. "We'll get it done. We haven't survived so much just to be killed in the next wave." There was determination in his voice. His golden eyes glared as he looked at each of them, and Garrus nodded.

They resumed their walk, and seconds later Shepard commented:

"So, you had it all figured out."

"Not quite, Commander," replied Malen shaking his head slightly. "Garrus, Victus and I have discussed it. However, if the asari and salarians hadn't been so stubborn about their position regarding other species, we were ready to accept what they offered. You see," the turian turned his head to make sure Kaidan, who was behind, could hear him too, "we have been negotiating with the quarians. They are ready to assist us in repairing our ships, providing us with vital technical assistance and even upgrading ships if we promise some future help on Rannoch and a voice in galactic matters. The Matriarch and the Dalatrass didn't even want to grant them an embassy."

"Not to mention the krogan," commented Garrus. A human family passed by them. The children looked at the unusual group, curious.

"I have the impression, from what the Dalatrass said," continued Talyk, nodding, after they had walked past the family, "that the salarian are eager to attack the krogan. We can't have that happening, them being our allies. Palaven still stands but it's soaked in krogan and turian blood, and we won't turn our backs on the dead." He spoke with passion, with true conviction. "But there is something more," the turian added.

"Something more?" asked Kaidan intrigued. He took a step forward to hear the turian representative better, as they all kept advancing down the street.

"Last night we were contacted by the geth," explained Malen. "Basically they said they wish to offer us their 'platforms' for the rebuilding efforts on our colonies. They even mentioned they could deploy some of them to gather resources in mines too dangerous for 'organic lifeforms'. All they want is a place in the galactic society in exchange."

"Last night?" asked Kaidan. "Does it mean they knew our meeting was today?"

"Is that so crazy to believe?" said Garrus in turn, looking at the human Major, who was walking beside him. "I don't think it's hard for them to intercept and decipher our communications."

"It's better to have them at our side," commented Shepard nodding.

"I don't understand why you of all people would say that, Shepard," said Kaidan looking at her with an unreadable expression. "You defended them, you trusted them..."

"I trusted Legion, and it was because he proved himself," replied the Commander, a little annoyed. He thought he had her figured out, but he kept showing he hadn't even scratched the surface of who she was. He was in love only with the idea of her that he had in his mind, and that bothered her to no end. "I defended their right to exist as sentient creatures and to decide for themselves. I never said they couldn't turn against us. They could, just like the krogan, or even the salarians."

"We have reached our destination," announced Malen Talyk, making a signal with his hand for the group to stop. He opened the door of the volus embassy.

It was a small building, appropriated for its intended inhabitants. The roof was high enough for a turian to stand without crouching, but probably not enough for a krogan. The inside was dark, lit only by a few flickering tubes. It reminded Shepard of certain low-life places on the Citadel, or even perhaps on Omega. She wondered if the volus had chosen that place, or if they were given it because the other species didn't take them seriously.

They walked further inside. A few volus crossed their path, but Shepard couldn't shake the sensation of abandonment the whole embassy seemed to have. The group climbed up the stairs and reached a room with a regular, old fashioned human door made of wood. They opened it and found none other than Barla Von behind a desk, near a lateral wall.

"Welcome to our embassy," said the volus, breathing audibly like all of them did under their pressure suit.

"Glad to see you alive," greeted Shepard. She approached him, followed by Garrus, Malen and Kaidan.

"Same to you, Commander Shepard," said Barla Von, and then looked at each of the people that had entered the room. "What brings you in here?"

"I'll cut to the chase," said Malen Talyk taking a step forward. "As you know, the previous Council representatives were killed by Cerberus the second time they took control of the Citadel, when they found out the Catalyst was there," he paused and breathed deeply, and continued, "Negotiations to form a Council with new representatives have failed, because we turians and the humans believe we should change the rules, create a Council with stronger representation. The asari and salarians disagree. We are here to invite your people to take part of our discussions to form a new Council. The quarians, geth and krogan will also be invited."

"You mean, not an embassy?" asked the volus, wary. "A seat on this new Council, with the same rights as everyone else?"

"That's right," said Kaidan nodding.

"One representative, one vote," added Talyk.

"I am no politician," said Barla Von moving his arm, "but I agreed to conduct my business from here, to help our people. You will have to speak with our ambassador... Din Korlack. That is, if Commander Shepard gives us her word that he doesn't have a price on his head anymore."

"He did give information to Cerberus," started Shepard, looking at Malen and Garrus, "but he had cut ties before your cruiser was taken down by them. Furthermore, he warned us that Aephus was their next target."

"That warning did save the colony," said Talyk, nodding. He took a hand to his chin and kept silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "Very well, tell Din Korlack that the turian Hierarchy drops all charges against him, and that we sincerely hope he had learned from his mistakes."

Barla Von looked at Shepard, and she nodded at him. "You can tell him yourself," said the volus. He pressed a hidden panel on the door, and a secret door disguised as an ornament opened. None other than Din, the volus ambassador, appeared through that door, walking heavily to meet the visitors.

"You can bet I have learned, Palaven-clan," said Din standing in front of the rest. "I believed that Cerberus was doing something good for the galaxy. They will fool me no more."

"Glad to hear that," said Malen nodding. There was something dark about the turian's expression however, something that seemed to yell to the world 'I'll be watching you'. Or perhaps only Garrus and Shepard noticed. She was becoming really good at reading turian gestures. After a brief pause, Talyk continued, "Did you hear everything that I said?"

"Yes," replied Din breathing with effort. "It sounds tempting. But I have the impression that you came to us only because the asari and the salarians rejected your proposal."

"On the contrary," replied Garrus, his dual-toned voice reverberating in the room, "we rejected them because they wouldn't treat your people, the quarians or anyone else as equals."

"Is that true?" Din asked, visibly softening his tone.

"Yes," said Shepard and Kaidan at the same time.

"Very well, then!" replied excited the volus ambassador opening his arms. "About time!" he added.

The negotiations with the quarians were short. Tali'Zorah was surprised that the asari and the salarians were no longer part of the Council, although she remarked that probably they were saying that the turians and humans were not longer part of the 'true' Council. When Shepard told her what had happened and how did the Dalatrass and Matriarch Codas think, she exclaimed "Bosh'tets!". In the end, Admiral Raan was elected as the Council representative for the quarian people.

Next they went to meet the geth. The four of them, the organics, stood in front of several 'platforms', that after their code upgrade were true individuals. The Commander couldn't help remembering her mission to Eden Prime, where it all started. How she had faced geth for the first time and how they had killed a member of her squad. She had thought of them as the enemy. She hadn't known back then how sentient they really were. Then, Legion explaining that those geth were the 'heretics', and that they didn't think like the main faction of the geth. She recalled their mission to the Heretic Station, and Legion begging her to decide on their fate. Rewriting them was the same as brainwashing them, and she felt bad about suggesting Legion that course of action, but killing them was worse. And of course, the mission to Rannoch came to her mind. Legion's sacrifice for his people, so they could have a future.

Kaidan and Malen carefully explained the current political situation to those geth platforms. They listened in silence, and when they were finished one of them said, "Acknowledged," and Shepard couldn't repress a brief smile.

"We are interested in joining the new Council," said a geth prime. He was no different from other geth primes present in the room, or from others that the Commander had fought and killed. There were no visible signs to recognize one of them from the others. No visible marks or features, like all organics naturally had. No personalization of their suits, like the quarians and the volus. Just the same structure, repeated and cloned to the last detail. Perfection. Javik's words about the geth came back to her memory, and she voluntarily pushed them to the back of her mind. It wasn't the time to freak out about their new allies, although she had to admit to herself that she sometimes shared part of Javik's concerns. She didn't lie to herself, she knew that all the different races in the galaxy wanted different things, and that they wouldn't suddenly join holding hands and singing songs. She needed however to trust their common sense, to believe that they valued their lives enough as to not throw them at many pointless wars.

"Great!" said Kaidan, and Melody could tell he truly meant it. "You will need to choose a representative."

"I will represent our people," said the same geth prime that had spoken before, in his metallic voice.

"What name should we refer you to?" asked Malen politely.

"Organic's need for names never cease to amaze us," said the geth prime. He appeared to be puzzled. "I will choose a name that you can interpret and remember. I will be 'Representative'. I have seen old human vids and I will paint a diagonal white band over the front of my platform."

Geth were deadly and their motivations could be hard to understand, but in some senses they were too cute for words. Shepard smiled to herself, the actual gesture going on inside her mind and never climbing to her face.

The four of them left and grabbed something to eat on the way. They found a small restaurant that served dextro and levo-amino acid food, and prepared take-outs.

Their next destination was the krogan's... place where they hanged-out. It wasn't exactly an embassy, because normally they didn't receive people from other species. Of course, they didn't deny the entrance to Melody Shepard and her companions.

The building wasn't exactly a building, not in a true sense. From the outside, it was just a pile of rubble. People had to climb down, over debris, to gain access to the inside. The krogan had dug beneath and secured the piles of rubble with columns and beams. It looked solid enough though. Inside, the whole place looked a lot like Tuchanka, but a circle for a QEC was clearly visible near the throne where Wrex was sitting on. The four of them started walking in that direction.

"Shepard!" greeted the old krogan as he saw the group approaching, getting up from his throne. He walked towards them, and they met half way. "Oh, and hello you too, Kaidan." Wrex looked at the turians and pointed at them with his thumb, shifting his gaze to the Commander a second later. "You brought your disfigured turian lover and a friend?"

"At least I use my feet," said Garrus grinning, "and I'm not getting my ass flat from sitting on a throne."

"Ha, good one!" Wrex exclaimed chuckling, celebrating Vakarian's witty remark. "Come, join us! Have something to eat, or to suicide from allergies in the case of turians!" he added, pointing at a nearby table filled with indescribable food. That was, supposing that any of that was edible.

"Thank you, Wrex," said Kaidan smiling, clearly trying to hide his opinion about that 'food', "but we ate already."

"Who's this guy?" asked the large krogan pointing at Malen. He walked back to his throne and sat on it. He was followed by the small group. Other krogan present in the 'embassy' were obviously curious and approached to hear what was happening, but none dared to come close enough to incite their leader's wrath.

"My name is Malen Talyk," the turian introduced himself grinning. "You could say I'm the new turian representative for the galactic Council."

"The Council, huh?" asked the krogan. The suspicion in his voice was apparent.

"Wrex," said Shepard taking a step forward. "Think we could have a conversation with you and Bakara? Think it could be without all these other krogan?"

"Out everyone," ordered Urdnot Wrex getting up. His voice was commanding, imperative.

"Like hell," said another krogan, defiant. His massive structure stood still in front of them.

"Out of this place," repeated Wrex, his voice loud enough to fill the entire place, "or out of this galaxy. You choose."

It was enough. All the other krogan started walking to the exit. Finally, the krogan who had defied their leader grumbled something, shook his head, and turned to leave. When the five of them were alone, Wrex activated something on the QEC, said that he wanted to talk to Urdnot Bakara, and minutes later the holographic figure of the female krogan was visible over the circle on the floor. She held something in her arms. Something small and covered with a blue fabric. Was it...?

"Commander Shepard," said Bakara visible moved, though she could only be seen as a figure of light. She took a step forward and extended her arms, partially removing the cloth. They could all watch the smallest krogan's face they had ever seen in their lives. "This is Mordin." All the present kept silent, watching at the baby. Melody felt like she was looking directly at the face of hope. So, that was what she had done for the galaxy, for her krogan allies and friends. It couldn't be more perfect.

"Couldn't talk her out of the name," commented Wrex shaking his head, breaking the magic of the moment.

"Shut up, Wrex," said Bakara using an authoritative tone. "You love your daughter."

"I do," agreed the large, old krogan. "I do, Shepard," he said looking at the Commander, and she could see emotions in his eyes that he had never showed before. "I love my little daughter Mordin. I couldn't hold her in my arms, not yet, but I love her like I have never loved another creature before," he paused. "Oh, I mean, her mother is all right too," he joked, obviously not wanting to display his feelings any longer.

"You like her more," said the female krogan, but judging by her tone she was probably smiling under the veil, "because she's still too little to kick your ass, Wrex."

"That's gotta be it," said Wrex chucking. "But sister," he added looking at Shepard, "you didn't make me kick all the other krogan out just to make socials, right?"

"No," replied the Commander, and immediately she explained the galactic political situation to both Wrex and Bakara. She told them that the asari and salarians didn't want to make changes, but that the humans and turians felt that those changes were much needed. She told them that the volus, the quarians and the geth had already agreed to at least send a representative and discuss the responsibilities, laws and course of action that new Council should have. Finally, she told them that they were there to invite the krogan as members of said Council.

"Does it mean we declare war on the salarians?" asked Wrex when Shepard was done talking. He was excited, eager. His bloodlust was visible on his eyes and attitude, on the way he repeatedly hit his palm with his fist.

"No, Wrex," calmly said Melody. "We'll offer them a non-aggression pact."

"What!?" the male krogan yelled and violently lifted his arm, as if he was tossing something to his back. He began pacing back and forth. "We can't do that, they'll just create another genophage, or something worse!"

"They cannot deploy it," explained Malen Talyk in a conciliatory tone. "They don't have a fleet so strong, and certainly they are no match for the turian, quarian, geth and human fleets combined. It's true that they might try doing what you say, but we'll keep our eyes open. Without the Shroud, they have no way of dispersing anything on Tuchanka that could damage you in a large scale, and if they try they are signing their own death sentence."

"They're smart, they know they have to be careful," said Shepard placing a hand on Wrex's arms, which visibly seemed to help him relax a bit, "and that'll give us time to counter anything they may come up with. You might want to put some extra eyes watching little Mordin though," she added, looking at the hologram of Bakara.

"We'll do that, Commander," said the female krogan nodding.

"Ah!" yelled Wrex. "If they touch my daughter...!"

"They won't," stepped in Garrus, sounding sure. "We won't let them."

"All right," said the large krogan and walked back to the front of his throne, where the rest stood. "Shepard, you told me on the sands of Virmire that you would help me find a cure for my people, and you kept your word. You didn't betray us when that Dalatrass offered you the salarian fleet in exchange for killing our future. You gave me more than I could ever hope for, that I could ever dare to dream about. I'll trust you again. It'll be hard telling our people we won't have revenge, but I'll find a way to please them."

"Good to hear that, Wrex," she said, lightly patting the side of his arm.

"Now, about this Council," said Urdnot Wrex looking at the rest of the people present, "it sounds boring like hell. Sounds like something you'd enjoy doing, Bakara."

"You are just too dumb to realize what an honor it is, Wrex," replied the krogan woman.

"Yeah, yeah," he said shaking his large head. "You heard her. She will actually love yawning in your chamber representing our people."

When they finally left the krogan 'embassy' - or it would have been more accurate to call it the nostalgic symbol of Tuchanka - it was only mid afternoon, but they all felt tired. In less than a day, they had changed the face of the galaxy, dissolved a structure that had lasted thousands of years, and planted the seeds for new alliances and bonds. None would say it out loud, but they all knew it could either work great or become a total disaster.

Kaidan and Malen returned respectively to the Alliance's base and the turian embassy, leaving Garrus and Shepard alone. They walked back to the hangar where the Normandy was stationed in. They didn't talking much on their way. Each was absorbed by their own thoughts.

Upon entering the hangar, they noticed a soft blue glow that was closing on their position. A better look revealed them that it came from the sparking biotics of Liara T'Soni, the glow surrounding her well-formed body. The asari walked a few steps further, and then stood still in front of them. She was tense and seemed about to jump. Her right hand was clenched in a fist pressed on her waist, her arm bent, her torso slightly leaning forward. The Shadow Broker was ready to attack. Shepard and Garrus just stood still a few meters away, in front of their old friend. The human female appeared to be relaxed but had her muscles prepared to react in case she needed to. She felt the rush of adrenaline, so familiar to her, flowing through her veins.

Liara opened her mouth, and her voice sounded like a thunder inside the large hangar.

"Garrus Vakarian, how dared you!?" the asari said enraged, her tone revealing all the strength and darkness hidden inside her soul.


	28. Ch 28: A very long day

Chapter 28: A very long day.

The asari archeologist stood there, in the hangar of the Normandy, the blue glow of her biotic powers surrounding her entire surface, and extending a few centimeters beyond it. The light she produced was distinguishable in the dim illumination of the hangar.

Opposing the asari, a few meters away, stood a female woman and a male turian, both soldiers, both veterans of war. Both tense and ready to reply to the attack of the Shadow Broker if necessary, but neither wanting to harm her if it could be avoided. Liara's words still resonated in Shepard's mind: "_Garrus Vakarian, how dared you!?_".

"Liara, please calm down," said the Commander using a conciliatory tone. She tried to impress her voice with all the persuasion she was capable of.

"I'm not talking to you, Shepard," replied the asari upset, her threatening attitude not receding a millimeter.

"No, but I was there," insisted Melody moving her head slightly, "and you'd probably agree with us if you had been there too."

"Agree with what?" asked T'Soni bitterly. "With turians and humans bullying the entire galaxy?"

"If you just let us explain..." pleaded Garrus. From his body language, Shepard could infer that he really didn't want to hurt the asari, even less that the Commander wanted it herself.

"Fine, explain," said Liara categorically. She dropped her right arm and even opened her hand, that had been turned into a fist a moment before. She stood still facing them, and the blue glow around her started to fade until it disappeared. Her face was still contorted by anger and her blue eyes glared as if they could expel fire, but at least she wasn't ready to attack. Shepard also relaxed a little.

"The Dalatrass and Matriarch Codas," started Garrus with a steady tone, "were dangerously mistrustful of other races. They refused giving them new embassies and even said accepting the humans into the Council was a mistake. Their attitude would have led to a new war with the krogan, and we can't just betray them."

"Wrex believes that the salarians are working on something worse than the genophage," stepped in Shepard, raising her hands. "And you know what? I believe that too. And so should you, T'Soni. You were with us on Sur'Kesh, saw the experiments they were doing with the yahg, how they planned to uplift them."

"'Full deniability'," quoted Garrus from what the three of them had heard from the salarians logs more than half a year before. "We don't want to associate with people that still don't want to believe there is a chance of us working together, even after everything that happened."

"I..." started Liara doubtful, lowering her head a little, "that's not what I was told. The Matriarch is saying that the turians and the humans want the asari to resign our independence."

"That's not true," replied Vakarian shaking his head. "None of us is resigning our governments and the right to decide for ourselves. We did say we wanted a stronger Council, one with more power to decide on its own over galactic matters, things that affected all of us. But you know why we want that. You know what Shepard saw, and even if the Reapers didn't come back, there could be other threats and the previous Council wasn't prepared to respond to them fast enough."

"They kept saying that they didn't want the Council to decide for them," said Shepard shrugging, "and that wasn't even what was on the table, but they wouldn't listen."

"Well," said Liara taking a few steps to her right, and then back to her previous position, "it is true that if the Council had more power and independence, we'd have to resign some of our own..."

"You mean, like not hiding prothean beacons from the rest?" asked Shepard bitterly. "Who knows what other little secrets your people are hiding to preserve your superiority."

"That's not true, Shepard!" yelled the asari, leaning forward a little bit, her eyes glaring again.

"Isn't it?" insisted the Commander. "Don't think like an asari for a minute. Think like the Shadow Broker. Now tell me again I'm lying."

"I..." once again Liara lowered her head and began stumbling with the words. She took breath and raised her arms a few times, and then dropped them. After a minute of two of total silence, she said, "Perhaps we hid things, but we were the first species to discover the Citadel in this cycle. We created the Council, we shaped it... we cannot be expelled from it!"

"Fine, we'll call ourselves the 'Group' or the 'Gathering' or something," said Garrus, sarcasm dripping from his tone. "It doesn't change how we feel. If what happened doesn't change the galaxy I don't know what can. We were only offering more cooperation and unity, but if that gets in the asari's way, we'll let you do whatever the hell you want. Just don't cry for help later."

"You don't have to talk to me like that, Garrus," complained Liara glaring at him.

"I won't apologize for saying what I think," replied the turian crossing his arms over his chest.

"We're going nowhere," said Shepard also crossing her arms, her eyes shifting from her turian companion to the asari archeologist. "Liara, if you want to be upset there's nothing I can do about it. I just hope you'll still cooperate with Admiral Hackett, because Cerberus is a common enemy."

"Of course I will," said the asari raising both her hands in annoyance. "I gave my word, and won't go back on it. I..." she added shaking her head. "I need time, Shepard. I need to think about the things you told me," after a brief pause, she said, "I think I'll also try to find out if something else's going on."

"I understand, Liara," said the Commander dropping her arms to her sides.

T'Soni walked past the turian and the human, and both remained silent long after the asari had disappeared on her way out, staring at the exit of the hangar.

"What a long day," finally commented Shepard letting go a sigh. Her eyes went back to the Normandy, standing tall before them. Her own spaceship, and for the galaxy the symbol of survival. "Wanna go home?" she asked the turian standing next to her, with half a smile crossing her face.

"I thought you'd never ask," replied Vakarian and he started walking towards the entrance of the ship.

The cargo bay was empty. They took the elevator straight to their chamber. They didn't say it, but none wanted to talk with any more people that day. Not even with Joker, even if the pilot had only funny remarks to make.

They were mentally exhausted, because none of them was truly a politician, but the circumstances pushed them to play a decisive role in galactic configuration. Shepard wouldn't admit though, not to Garrus and not even to herself, that she felt partly responsible for the galactic fate, and that a part of her thought that other people couldn't do it as well as she could. After all, she hadn't decided on the turians and humans parting ways with the salarians and asari, but she had been insisting that other races should be taken in consideration. She even planted that idea in more than one mind. And when the meetings themselves took place, some of the representatives of other alien species trusted them because Shepard was involved. She didn't want to think about any of that, she didn't want to realize what she had just done. Not yet.

The Commander took off her shoes upon entering her chamber, and walked towards her bed. She dropped herself on it, using a pillow to keep her head partially lifted. She could see Garrus taking his armor off until he had nothing but the suit he wore underneath. He removed even his visor. The turian walked to the bed, and laid down on his side, looking at Melody. She turned on the bed so she could be face to face with him.

"Garrus," she whispered, lightly caressing the scarred side of his face, that was the side not pressed against the pillow.

"Want to talk about something that's not of galactic importance?" asked the turian caressing in turn her face and head. His hand traveled to the back of her head, removing the band that held her hair tied. He started playing with strands of her hair.

"Yes please," she replied in a soft tone, slightly louder than a whisper. "Tell me something about your childhood on Palaven."

"My childhood?" asked Garrus, chuckling. After a moment, he said, "Fine. Remember how I told you my father was strict, how he always kept pushing me to do things right?"

"Yes," replied the Commander, lowering her hand to caress his chest. "One of the first times we talked, you told me he says 'Do things right, or don't do them at all'."

"I remember when I told you that," said Vakarian in a lower tone. "It was on the cargo bay inside the first Normandy, before I had the scars... before you... died..."

"Don't turn nostalgic on me," she said, chuckling lightly. It was all too personal with Garrus and a part of her loved it, but the rest still didn't feel comfortable. Nobody had ever been that close to her, and she wasn't used to it.

"You started it, asking me to tell you something about my childhood," joked the turian. His finger traced one of the scars on her face, one of the visible reminders of the Battle of the Crucible on her face. "Anyway," he shook his head slightly over the pillow, "I have some good memories with my father from my childhood. Well, with my mother too, but she was always kind to me. She wanted me be a good person, but as long as I was she encouraged me to do whatever I wanted, instead of what 'was right'. The good memories with my father are very few, and that's probably why I treasure them... is that unfair?"

"Not at all," replied the Commander softly. "It's only natural that we have different relationships with our parents, they're different people."

"Anyway," continued Garrus as if he was removing some invisible ghosts from his head, "I remember this one time he took me hunting. I was probably four, five years old. Where I was born, it is customary for parents to take their children to hunt certain animals that live in the area. It's normally a father-son or mother-daughter activity. These animals aren't very dangerous, so we hunt them with our bare hands. They breed really fast and could become a plague, so it's a sport. Also, their taste is delicious. Normally you can find a few places to cook them around the hunting areas.

"Well, after tracking down a certain specimen for almost two hours, we finally cornered it and my father told me to attack it. I was happy because it was my first prey, he had taken me before but he had killed the game. Anyway, I was very inexperienced and one of my talons hooked between two of the animal's plaques. The animal was scared and cornered, so it bit me on the arm and I screamed. My father drew a side pistol and shot it on its head. He immediately came to check on my hand and arm, and bandaged me. I was embarrassed because I couldn't kill it and because I had screamed, but my father said 'good hunt' and he grabbed the prey. When we were eating it, among other groups of parents and their children, he told everyone that I just had my first hunt."

"That was great of him," commented Shepard getting closer to him. "I would treasure that memory too."

"What about yourself?" Garrus asked smiling. "Have any memories you want to share with this guy from another planet?"

"What does it matter where you're from? Planets are not my thing."

"Sure, Melody, do what you always do," he said feigning annoyance. "Get everyone to talk about themselves and never share anything personal."

"Fine!" she said, chuckling, "I think I will tell you the story of the first time I wore a dress. I was nine years old, and the Captain of the ship decided to celebrate Christmas."

"Christmas?" asked Vakarian, perplexed.

"It's a..." tried to explain the Commander, moving her hand as if trying to search for the words. "Well, it started like a religious celebration, but now it's a tradition in many places on Earth even if you aren't religious. Which we weren't."

"Oh," said Garrus, nodding slightly with his head over the pillow.

"Everybody was dressing up," she continued, while caressing his chest again, "because they all had very little chances of doing that. We had few celebrations on board, some people hadn't had a real party for years. That year we were in orbit around a safe colony and the Captain thought it was time to give everyone a break. When he announced the party, for some reason my father decided he would buy a dress for me.

"I guess you can imagine how I looked at it. I had seen dresses only in pictures, because colony women and Alliance personnel don't use them. The thing was blue and white, with ribbons and lace and everything else that's considered 'pretty' for little girls to wear. I remember my mother staring at him like he had lost his mind, but my father pleaded: 'Please, Melody, at least try it on. You don't have to use it for the party if you don't like it.' Of course I did what he said, because I wanted to see him happy. His smile was so wide when he saw me with it, that I decided to keep it on.

"However, after the dinner and the toast, I got really bored. There were a couple other children on board, most of them sons and daughters of garrisoned soldiers. Anyway, we decided to organize a treasure hunt. It's a game where someone hides an object and the rest have to search for it. The winner is whomever finds it first, and gets to keep the object."

"Sounds like fun," commented Garrus, absorbed in her story. She could tell for the way he looked at her.

"Oh, it's really fun!" she exclaimed. "We searched through the entire ship. We got into maintenance tubes, the engine room, even the armory because I'd spied when someone was entering the codes earlier. I won the game, but as you can imagine, when we went back to the party my dress was nothing but rags and scraps. My father looked at me, started laughing and said: 'Well, I guess you're not a dresses kind of girl.' And you know what? The second time in my life I wore a dress, was when Kasumi Goto insisted on it, because she needed me to infiltrate a party."

"I don't suppose you kept a picture?" he asked, mischievous.

"Why should you care?" she said in turn, rolling over her side until she was on top of him. "It's not like you could feel attracted by what I wear..."

"You're right," he replied, playing with the clasps of her uniform, with a grin on his face, "I feel more attracted by what you don't wear."

"Really, Garrus?" she asked, chuckling and letting him remove the upper part of her formal uniform. "A turian liking the body of a human?" She used the tone she normally employed when she was teasing, and she knew Garrus understood it.

"Huh?" he asked as if waking up from a dream. His steel-blue eyes focused on hers, and she could feel the intensity of his desire. "Acquired taste," he murmured, gently placing a hand on one of her breasts.


	29. Ch 29: Assembling the team

Chapter 29: Assembling the team.

He was sleeping next to her in their bed. She looked at him for a while, thinking how strange it was that his chest didn't move up and down when he breathed, because of his hard plaques. She didn't mind that he was a turian; most of the times she didn't even remember. That was how natural it was for her to look at him. It was only during moment like those that she became conscious of the fact that she had fallen in love with an alien.

The sound of his breathing and the soft buzz of the fish tank were the only sounds in the cabin. Above them, the shutter was open, but through the glass she couldn't see a myriad stars. Instead, the only thing visible was the ceiling of the hangar, cold and pale.

The Commander got up. It was pointless to stay in bed when she couldn't keep her eyes closed. No matter how hard she tried to push them, to forget them or keep herself busy to think about something else, the words of the Illusive Man kept coming back to her: "_The Reapers are far from gone, Shepard_". Her mind had been playing tricks on her, following those words with the scream of a banshee when she was starting to fall asleep.

She dressed quickly, tied her hair, and walked over to her private terminal. She hadn't checked it in some time, and just as she expected she had a lot of unread messages. She skimmed through the subjects, looking for something interesting enough for her at that time of the night.

There was a message from Fairuza Yousif, one of the scientist working in the Mass Relays Collaboration and Ian McAllister's wife. The message said:

"_Commander:_

"_I'm glad to tell you that we are making progress with our dark energy research. Javik, the prothean, comes here every day and help us trying to understand the patterns. He seems to like what we do here, although with him it's difficult to tell. Of course, we still need to figure out a lot of things, but I'm optimistic_."

Shepard smiled, glad to know that Javik had found something to do with his life other than think about suicide. She hoped he wasn't giving Fairuza and the rest of the team a hard time. She shook her head slowly.

Another message was from Samara:

"_Shepard:_

_I recently heard you have awoken after what happened to you on the last battle. I am rejoiced. I am living with Falere at the monastery for the moment being, trying to rebuild what we can. Trying to forget and live on. I hope you can do that too, after everything that happened_."

"_If only I could, Samara_," the Commander thought, shaking her head. She typed a quick, deceitful reply that she knew wouldn't fool Samara, but she wasn't ready to tell her the truth. She then glanced at the sleeping turian in the bed. He was reason enough for her to live on, but nothing was like she had imagined it after the war. That is, in the brief moments she had allowed herself to imagine a time after the war.

The next message that caught her attention was a surprise for her, because it came from Commander Bailey. She had assumed than all the people living on the Citadel had died during the second Cerberus coup, when they took control of it and killed the Council. She was really glad to see his name on the 'sender' field. It meant he had found a way to survive. The message said:

"_Commander Shepard:_

_I heard that you're alive and kicking, and thought about saying hi. I don't know if they __told you, but C-Sec managed to get many people alive from the station using the docked ships. Aria T'Loak is among those people, and I'm glad we took her out, because she's keeping her mercenaries at bay here on Earth. I'm sure she's making a profit somehow, but she's being careful and that's all we need. Once an officer of the law, always an officer of the law, right? Finally I'm getting some real action instead of babysitting bureaucrats. What __about yourself? Fancy a beer sometime?_"

Shepard smiled. "_A beer sounds fine, tell me when and where_," she typed in reply to Bailey and sent the message.

She closed the terminal and left her cabin. The elevator left her on deck 3, and she walked to the small kitchen to prepare herself some coffee. When it was ready, she poured herself a cup and took it to a table in the mess hall. She sat and took a sip. It was awful, even to her standards. Smiling, she had to admit to herself that Garrus made a better coffee, even considering he was an alien and had a biology that wouldn't allow him to try it.

The Commander didn't realize when had she fallen asleep with her head and arms on the table. She woke up confused, and sat straight. She noticed Joker walking towards the table with a steaming cup. Her own was beyond cold.

"Did he kick you out, Commander?" the pilot joked sitting in front of her.

"No, I..." she started, shaking her head. "What time is it, Joker?"

"8 a.m." he replied.

"Good," said Shepard nodding.

"Did you prepare the coffee that was on the pot?" Joker asked, and she nodded. "I heated it and tried it, but was awful," he added. "How can you drink it?"

"I didn't," she replied with half a smile.

"I made some more," he informed and pointed at the kitchen.

She got up with her cup in her hand, washed it in the sink and poured some hot coffee. Then she returned to the table and sat in the same place, in front of Joker. She took a sip.

"Better?" the pilot asked.

"Much better, thanks," she replied nodding.

They both remained silent for a while, drinking the hot liquid, each lost in their own thoughts. After a few minutes, Jeff 'Joker' Moreau spoke again.

"Uh... how are you, Commander?" he started hesitantly, looking at one side and not directly at her. "I... I worry about you."

"You don't have to, Joker," she said shaking her head. "I'm a big girl."

"Yeah, but how comes you sleep at the mess hall," he said raising both his hands, grimacing and looking at her, "and not in your new bed with your old turian up there? Everything all right between you two?"

"The reason I was here has nothing to do with Garrus," she said moving her hand from side to side. "I just came for some coffee and fell asleep while drinking it. I mean, trying to drink it, anyway. Really, Joker, it's not a big deal."

"If you say so..." he said, not sounding convinced. After a moment, he added, "So, I heard we kicked the salarian and the asari in the butt?"

"So to say," she replied with a weak smile. She moved a little on her seat.

"Nice," he commented. "Not that kicking is the best think I can imagine one could do to an asari butt, but still..."

"Joker..." she said in her warning tone he knew so well. She didn't really mind those comments, but she knew that if she didn't stop the pilot, he could do much worse than that. To that point in her life, the man was practically her little brother, but she was still the commanding officer. She had to draw a line somewhere. She was responsible for keeping the respect of her crew.

"Right, sorry," he quickly apologized and gulped some coffee. "So anyway, are we gonna hang up on this new Council too?"

"I don't think we'll have to, this time," she said smiling. She took another sip and added, "But I'll let you know."

"It's true then?" he asked leaning back on his chair. "Our own Kaidan will represent humanity?"

"Yup," she replied nodding. "_Not really __**my**__ Kaidan, not that he didn't try_," her mind added but the thought didn't reflect on her face.

"I guess that means we won't have him on the Normandy anymore," Joker commented.

"I'm not sure he even wanted to come back anyway," she said slowly shaking her head. "Things change..."

"You tell me about it." After a moment, he lowered his head a little and added, "Gunny wasn't among the refugees from Tiptree..."

"I'm sorry, Joker," she said in a sympathetic tone. She hadn't told him about the conversation she had overheard in Huerta Memorial between two asari, during the war. The Commander was almost sure that the girl named Hilary the asari commando referred to was Joker's sister, but he didn't need to know how she died. Gunny was her nickname. She was only fifteen at the time.

He finished his coffee and got up. "Yeah, there's work to do," he said, but it was just an expression to get out of there. After all he wasn't required to do anything specific. For the moment being he was the pilot of a docked ship.

"I'll be in the Alliance's base if anyone asks," she announced, getting up herself. She understood that Joker didn't want to speak further about the death of his sister and his father on that distant colony several months ago.

She got out of the ship and walked to the base. It was really near, and the walk gave her time to clear her mind.

When she arrived, she found Hackett and Alenko talking to each other upstairs, near the entrance of the Admiral's office. She waited, but they signaled her to approach. She walked over to where they were and saluted them.

"I was told that Liara is not very happy about the political situation," Hackett commented looking at Shepard.

"No sir," she said shaking her head, "but she'll still do the tasks that you assigned to her. She said very clearly that she had given her word about it and won't go back on it."

The Admiral nodded, but she unmistakably recognized it as the nod he did when he was worried. Kaidan looked at her and she could tell that he was thinking the same.

"You'll have to assembly your crew," said Hackett to the Commander after a moment.

She looked at both men, a million thoughts crowding her mind all at once. She honestly hadn't thought about it, but the Admiral was right. They didn't know what they were going to find out there in space. Most probably pirates and mercs, but considering how much of the galaxy was still unexplored, finding a new sentient race wasn't a crazy scenario at all. They could be hostile for all she knew. She definitely would need a crew. But who would go with her, from her former teams? She was already counting with Garrus and Tali. EDI had no choice to come with them even if she didn't want to, which she knew wasn't the case. Liara was not an option anymore. She could ask Javik, but she didn't know how enthusiastic he was about his new project regarding dark energy. Wrex and Kaidan both had other responsibilities at the moment. She decided on asking Grunt later. Still, if Javik didn't accept to join she would need a biotic. Both Jacob Taylor and Jack had made themselves clear about not wanting to come back to the Normandy, supposing she could find them.

"I need to ask a few people, sir," she finally replied tilting her head a little.

"I'll miss the Normandy," commented Kaidan in a dreamy voice.

"We have an excellent QEC system," she said smiling with one side of her mouth. "State of the art." She didn't know why she had said that, because she wasn't even sure that she wanted Alenko back in the crew, considering how he behaved. "_Oh, who are you fooling_," her mind informed her, "_you do want him back. You'll forgive him anything_."

"Thanks, Shepard," said the biotic shaking his head, "but I'm afraid I can't join you this time. I think I'm becoming too old for that."

"Let me know if you need me to forward you some profiles," offered Hackett.

"I will, thank you, sir," she replied.

She left the base shortly after that. Grunt wasn't hard to find. He was in the krogan's building, or embassy, or whatever that was. He was fighting with another krogan as Wrex and some others watched. It didn't look like a real fight, it was probably just a sport.

She had only visited the place the day before, but Urdnot Wrex walked over to her as soon as he saw her, and patted her on both shoulders at the same time.

"Ah, Shepard!" the large old krogan said enthusiastically. "We're happy! Thanks to you, the krogan now have a real place in the galaxy!"

"I'm glad about it, Wrex," she said honestly. She added with a smile, "I don't think I could tempt you to travel around the galaxy with me again? Like old times?"

"It depends," he said seriously, seeming to think about something. "Are you going to Tuchanka?"

"Not really," she answered shaking her head. "Why do you ask?"

"I need to be there," he replied and she could see the tension in him, his eyes glaring with rage and concern at the same time. "I know Bakara can take care of herself and our child, and she has other women around her protecting my little Mordin... but not all krogan on Tuchanka are happy that we aren't going to war with the salarians. I need to be there, Shepard. I need to crush the skulls of the krogan that threaten my baby."

"Wrex, if you leave Earth," she started cautiously, "who will keep in line the krogan that stay here?"

"Don't worry about them," he said shaking his head, "they'll behave." He took her to a corner where other krogan couldn't hear them. It wasn't too difficult, because they were screaming about the fight they were observing. "Shepard, if you tell me I have a transport, I'll kill the ones that won't behave that very same day. I have someone I can leave in charge here, you can trust the guy. I give you my word. Can you help me?"

She looked at him and nodded. She really cared about him. She had trusted him enough to cure the genophage even when she knew how risky it was for the rest of the galaxy. "Speak with Primarch Victus," she finally said. "He's about to send a fleet to help turian colonies. Tuchanka isn't that far away, I'm sure at least one of the ships will have to cross your territory."

"Thank you, Shepard," he said patting one of her shoulders again with his large hand. He seemed really happy, and she was glad about that.

"It'll take months to get there, though," she told him in a tone that expressed concern.

"I know," he said nodding, "but I don't care. I need to feel I'm doing something. Anything will be better than just sitting here while my two women are in danger." It really warmed her heart how he referred to baby Mordin as one of his 'women'. After a brief pause he added, "Anyway, what can I do for you?"

"Give me Grunt," she said plainly.

Grunt was thrilled about traveling back on the Normandy. He even mentioned how he wanted to crush skulls. The three of them were standing near Wrex's throne, after the leader of the krogan had called the younger member of his clan from his fight. There were other krogan around them, but they kept their distance.

"Grunt," Shepard warned him crossing her arms over her chest, "I can't guarantee that we'll find something to kill this time..."

"It doesn't matter, Shepard," said the young krogan enthusiastically. "Danger seems to follow you wherever you go. I want to be there to save your ass."

"Then pack your stuff," she said nodding and uncrossing her arms. "I'll see you later on the Normandy."

When she left the embassy – or whatever that was – she headed to the large research building that was the main base of the Mass Relays Collaboration. She had never been there before, but she had heard enough about it to know where to find it. She thought it was the best place to meet with Javik, according to what Fairuza had told her.

The Collaboration was using a building that previously had been one of the many universities in London. Just from the choice of the city, she realized that London had become a symbol of their victory over the Reapers for all species, not just for humans.

There where scaffolding around all the perimeter of the large structure. Even so, it was really a pleasure to see how they had repaired all the windows. She could tell because they looked brand new. The exterior walls still had some serious marks on the upper floors, but she could see people working on them at that very moment.

She entered the building. It was really busy, with people coming and going with datapads in their hands. She could see humans, salarians, turians and asari of all ages and colors. The Commander approached a salarian and asked for Doctor Fairuza Yousif. He informed her that she could find her on the fourth floor. She walked towards the elevator and pressed the button. When the door opened in front of her, two batarians exited. They seemed to be females, and were wearing lab coats. They walked past her, and stopped to talk with a turian. Shepard was surprised, because she had never seen batarian females and because she didn't expect to find them there, but she didn't stay to watch. She entered the elevator and pressed the fourth button.

She walked down the corridor, again crossing paths with many people of all species. The was even a drell with his gaze fixed on a datapad as he walked. Finally, she found Fairuza's name on a door. She announced herself and the door opened.

The Commander entered what seemed to be a lab, but not quite. There were some large tables, but also desks with chairs, cabinets and bookshelves, monitors and other devices she couldn't quite identify.

"Commander Shepard!" greeted Fairuza Yousif, getting up and coming to her encounter. An asari and a human male working at other desks looked up, intrigued. In the background, she could indeed see Javik the prothean sat at a desk, reading something. He rose his gaze when she entered, but didn't make any attempt to come and meet her. Fairuza continued, "I didn't know you were coming. What do we owe the honor to? Oh, may I offer you something to drink? Some coffee?"

"Thanks, I had some already," she replied. Although she wasn't used to it, she had to admit to herself she really liked the ebullience of the young scientist. "I came because I didn't know the building. I bumped into two batarian women..."

"I don't know who they might be," Fairuza replied shrugging, "we have many working here."

"I didn't expect batarians would take part in a research project that has humans in it," Shepard said honestly, because she knew that batarians normally discriminated against other species and especially her own.

"I know, right?" said the scientist with a smile on her face. "I guess they want to go home as badly as everybody else, and who can blame them? We have all kind of people working here, even some krogan and vorcha technicians, and of course, quarians and geth. Basically, everybody that has at least some scientific training or that know how to repair something."

"That's good," the Commander said nodding. "Need anything from me?"

"Not for the moment being," she said pointing at Javik with her head, "but thanks, Commander."

"I need to speak with him," Shepard said looking at the prothean. She tried to use a neutral tone, but she realized it came out as an order.

"Of course, Commander," replied Fairuza, and walked away. She sat back at her desk and almost immediately seemed to be lost on something on her screen.

She approached Javik, and saw him finally getting up and walking towards her. Shepard signaled him a corner of the room with her head, and he followed her. They where far away from other ears enough to ensure some privacy for their conversation.

"What can I do for you, Commander?" asked Javik standing in front of her, with his arms crossed over his chest. The light of the sun that entered through the windows bathed his strange features.

"We're about to leave, explore nearby systems for resources. Would you be interested in joining me again on the Normandy?" she asked, cutting straight to the chase. "We honestly don't know what we could find, and it could easily get pretty hairy out there."

"I fight Reapers, Commander," said Javik categorically. "Whatever you find out there is not my problem. In here, I can help figure out the link between my enemies and dark energy."

"I know, Javik," she said nodding and crossing her arms over her chest, "but I also know you're a soldier. Do you really feel comfortable here, being a scholar and nothing more? Not to mention, I've got quite a few QEC already installed on the ship. I'm sure it won't be a problem to put another between your room and this very same... lab, or whatever it is. I can even give you Liara's office."

"I don't think..." he started, but judging by the way he widened his eyes – all of them – Shepard could tell that he was seriously considering her offer. He kept silent for a long while, just looking at her. She didn't speak because she didn't want to push the matter. He could say no just because he felt annoyed. "You always get what you want, don't you?" he finally asked, sounding upset and defeated at the same time.

"Not always," she said uncrossing her arms and dropping them to her sides. There was a faint smile on her face. Only her blue eyes gave away her excitement with their shine, not that she could really hide the way she felt from the prothean.

"Fine," he said, biting the word. "Make sure I have that QEC, and I'll move to your ship."

"Deal," she said extending her hand, offering a handshake. He walked away ignoring her gesture, just like he had when they first met. She shook her head and smiled. Some things never changed.

When she returned to the Normandy, she found Garrus testing his newly installed quantum entanglement communicators in the comm room.

"Found something new to calibrate?" she teased him.

"Don't think I forgot the main batteries," he said following the joke. "I have a special relationship with those guns."

"I'm sure you do, Vakarian," she said nodding. She approached him and placed one hand on his waist and another on the back of his head. She gently pulled him towards her until she could plant a kiss on his mandibles.

"Didn't hear you getting up," he commented caressing the side of her head with one hand. "I woke up and you were gone already."

"You were sound asleep," she said. She decided not to mention everything else that happened. He would worry and she really didn't need him reminding her all the time that she should get proper rest. She already knew she should. She just didn't know how to get it. After a brief silence she added, "I need to send a message to Hackett. I'll be in our cabin."

"Our cabin," he repeated. "I like the sound of that."

She smiled, caressed the side of his face, and walked away in the direction of the elevator. When she reached her room, she opened her private terminal and wrote a message for the Admiral, saying that her team was ready. She requested the QEC for Javik and briefly explained why she needed it. When she was about to send the message, however, she thought it wouldn't hurt to see the profiles Hackett had offered, and asked for them. After all, the Admiral had given her freedom to choose who to recruit for her mission. She wasn't forced to take anyone she didn't feel was right for the team.

About an hour later, she received the reply from Hackett. He agreed on ordering the installation of the extra QEC she needed. The Admiral had also sent her the profiles, and she started looking at them. As she was opening them, her eyes fixed on one name: Service Chief Sarah Williams.

* * *

**Note:** More about Sarah and what happened to her in my head canon on next chapter, I promise.


	30. Ch 30: The crew is complete

Chapter 30: The crew is complete.

She could have sent a message, but it wasn't the way Commander Shepard did things if she could help it.

The hospital was just as crowded as she had seen it last time. It seemed ages since she had awoken from her coma in that place and left that very same day, but it had only been less than a month and a half. Part of her mind realized that she had been having a frantic rhythm of life, just like during the war. She just couldn't stop and most of the time she didn't realize she should, just a little bit. Seeing the hospital and thinking about how little time ago she was just another piece of furniture in it, really hit her. She had been there a couple of weeks ago, but it was before her encounter with the Illusive Man.

The Commander shook her head as she was walking down the corridors. She tried to push the grim thoughts out of her mind, but each step inside that place seemed to drown her further. She had to locate Doctor Chakwas, speak with her, and get out of there as soon as she could. Focusing on her task at hand helped a little. She was a military woman on a mission, and she would do it no matter what because that was what Shepard did.

She found the doctor with a datapad in her hand, giving instructions to a nurse in a hallway. She waited patiently until Chakwas was finished and the nurse left. Then she approached.

"Commander," greeted Karin Chakwas taking a step towards her. "How have you been?"

"Fine, doctor, and you?" Shepard said standing in front of the doctor.

"Same as always," she replied glancing at the datapad. "Are you sleeping better?"

"I'll get to that," said the Commander shrugging. "That's not why I'm here anyway," she paused. "I don't know if you heard that the Normandy is ready to fly."

"It was ready when we did the memorial service aboard," said Karin tilting her head.

"Yes, but now we have permission to actually take her out of the hangar," informed Melody raising a hand, "and I'd like you to be on board. My crew wouldn't be complete without you."

"If you can give me a few days, I'll be with you there," said the doctor glancing again at the datapad in her hand.

"Sure," Shepard said nodding. "Admiral Hackett wants to broadcast the event, and he'll need some time to announce it anyway."

"In that case, I'm all yours, Commander. Do you want me to contact Gregory Adams?" offered Chakwas.

"Yes, please," said Shepard.

She didn't stay to chat with the doctor any longer. She said goodbye and walked away. Her mission was complete, and once again the corridors where a never ending sea where she couldn't breath. Or perhaps they were the deep space, and there was a rupture in her suit. The memory slapped her on the face. She ran the last few meters to the exit. When she made it out, she looked up at the bright blue sky. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the precious air. "_Hospitals aren't fun to fight through,_" the words of Garrus came back to her mind, and she smiled. He helped her even when he wasn't around at the time.

Her next destination was the flotilla. The quarians were living in orbit around Earth, rather than building houses for themselves on the surface. They had lost some ships during the final battle, but they received the survivors in the rest of their already crowded ships, unlike the turians. The cultural difference was that quarians saw themselves as family.

Tali was giving orders when she found her. It seemed that she had finally acknowledged that she was a real Admiral, and that her position wasn't just symbolic.

"Shepard!" greeted the quarian when she saw the Commander, walking to her.

"Are you ready to leave, Tali?" Melody asked. The quarian started walking down a corridor in the ship and the human followed her, walking side by side with her.

"Everything's ready," informed the young Admiral. "I even have all my stuff packed."

"Good," said the Commander nodding. "You can take it to the Normandy when you want."

"There's something I want to ask you, Shepard," started Tali turning her head to the human. What was she thinking about was impossible to say, because the helmet covered the expression of her eyes. All of them still used the suits. The geth were working on improving their immune system, but it wasn't strong enough yet for them to risk going without their sealed suits. Shepard remembered how Tali had told her that they might still use them when they didn't need them, out of custom.

"Sure, Tali, what is it?" the Commander asked. They were still walking, she didn't know where to.

"I'd like you to consider someone else to join your team," replied the quarian. "He's an expert in repairing and maintaining equipment, but he can also infiltrate complex systems. I'd say he's about as good as Kasumi," she completed.

"If you trust him, he can join us," Shepard said matter-of-factly.

"I do more than trust him, Shepard," she said and stopped. She looked at the Commander directly at the face, keeping silent for a few seconds.

"Oh!", said Melody with half a smile on her face, understanding. "Tali'Zorah vas Normandy has a boyfriend?"

"Shepard!" she exclaimed, and the Commander was sure that if quarians blushed, Tali was doing it that very same moment, even if she couldn't see it because of the helmet. "It's all... too recent," explained Admiral Zorah in a low voice, just above a whisper. "I can't say what we are just yet, but there's definitely something between us. Anyway, that's not the reason why I want him on the Normandy. I do believe he can be valuable for your team."

"Yeah, yeah," teased the Commander. "Next thing I know, you'll tell me that you share a double bed because the Normandy is too crowded."

"Shepard!" Tali exclaimed again, in the same tone of embarrassment she had before.

"Diana Allers won't be using the room she had," Shepard commented, chuckling. "You could take it, it has a double bed already."

"Very funny," the quarian said gritting her teeth. "Wanna meet him?"

"Sure," said Shepard nodding, "let's meet the guy who won over my friend's heart." *

They walked within the ship, crossing the path of other quarians who saluted the Admiral. Finally they stood in front of a man wearing a blue and black suit. He had patches of another material on the chest, back and legs, in a lighter shade of blue with black patterns. He was watching something on a control panel, but he looked up as soon as he perceived Tali and the Commander approaching him. He stood straight and waited for them to get to where he was.

"Shepard," Tali said looking at both of them, "this is Ysel'Voon vas Gadya. This is Commander Shepard," she told the quarian male.

"It is an honor to finally meet you, Commander," said Ysel offering his hand. She shook it firmly.

"Tali told me you're good at breaking into systems," commented Shepard shifting her weight to one side.

"If one mind created it," he said nodding, "another mind can understand it. It doesn't matter if that mind is artificial. We made them. It's true that at this point they are very different from us, but I like the challenge."

Shepard was pleased with his answer. Tali had been right, he would be a good addition to her team.

"I like the way you think," the Commander said honestly. "I need people like you on the Normandy. Are you ready to join us?"

"Of course!" he said excited. "I helped improving some of your systems. I believe you'll like the minor changes I did to the galaxy map. I'll be on your ship when you want me to."

"How about right now?" Shepard asked. There was no better time as the present for her. It was true that she had to wait a few days for departing, but it would give her time to get to know him better.

"I'll go pack," he announced and left their presence.

"Gadya is one of the ships we lost," said Tali when he was out of sight. "He barely made it out, along with about sixty other people. But he's the reason why those people are still alive. The escape pods' mechanism had jammed, and he repaired it in record time. The ship was crumbling to pieces, the Reapers were still firing, but there he was keeping his calm attitude and his mind sharp to make sure that the survivors could make it to Earth."

"Good to know," said Shepard, approving. "I see why you like him." After a few seconds she added, "I need to go. See you later on the Normandy."

"Later, Shepard," said Tali nodding.

Back on the surface, in London, she decided to walk the distance to the Alliance's base. She wasn't far away, and she liked the distraction.

About midway she passed in front of a bar with large windows to the street. Inside she could see many people, mostly humans but there were a few aliens. She could see some screens and heard the voice of a presenter telling the news. Out of curiosity, she entered. She ordered a beer and sat on a stool, watching the screen where a man was reading the reports from the Alliance News Network.

"_In another news_," was saying the presenter, "_tomorrow the two Councils will sign a non-aggression pact, that could eventually lead to a permanent peace treaty. In case you have just tuned us in, recently the turians and humans made the historical decision of parting ways with the asari and salarians. Humanity and the turian Hierarchy then formed a New Council, along with the volus, quarians, geth and krogan. The salarians and asari still form the Old Council. It is still undecided what will they do with the remains of the Citadel, in orbit around planet Earth._"

"You should leave, salarian," said a young man with probably too many drinks in his system, to a salarian reading a datapad on a nearby table. "This is a human bar."

Shepard stood up. She wasn't going to allow that kind of behavior. She took the young human by his clothes, and held him in front of her, menacing.

"If the Councils can make a peace treaty," she told the man in her most intimidating tone, "I'm sure you too can drink with with a guy that wasn't doing anything to you."

"Uh... sure..." said the drunken man, too afraid to give another reply. He probably just wanted to get away as fast as he could.

"I think that's Commander Shepard," she heard a woman whisper in awe to another on a nearby table.

"Damn right I'm Commander Shepard," she said looking at them. She released the drunk young man, who dropped to the floor. She pointed at him with the finger. "We didn't lose all we lost just to have scum like you come into a bar and bully everyone around. You wouldn't be alive if that man over there didn't come here to save your sorry, pathetic ass," she said pointing at the salarian who had the datapad. "Now be a man, get up on your feet, apologize and buy him a drink."

"Yes... yes Commander Shepard," whispered the man, and he did exactly what she had told him to do.

She sat back on her stool, calm as if nothing had happened, and kept drinking her beer. As she was finishing, she heard the presenter on the screen saying:

"_The Normandy will fly back again. Recent reports from Admiral Hackett confirm that a fleet of frigates will soon leave Earth, led by the legendary ship commanded by the also legendary Commander Melody Shepard. They will explore nearby systems, to bring resources that will help in the rebuilding efforts._"

"Is it true?" the bartender asked Shepard as he was cleaning the bar with a cloth.

"True as the sky above," she confirmed nodding. She extended a credit chit to pay for the beer.

"I can't charge you," said the bartender shaking his head and refusing the chit. "You made my day. Good luck out there."

"Thank you," she said with a nod. She got up and left the place, heading for the base.

She found Steve Cortez right where she thought he would be. The man walked in her direction and saluted her when he saw her. Shepard also noticed that other soldiers saluted her with more respect than usual, and hung around her as if they had nothing to do.

"Have you heard the news?" she asked Steve.

"Yes, we all did," he replied pointing at the group of soldiers around them at a certain distance. "I'm sure they're waiting that you select your crew to fly the Normandy."

"There was nothing wrong with my previous crew," she told him moving her hands.

"They were all promoted," said Cortez, "and are assigned to other duties. These people," he said signaling the group of soldiers, who pretended they weren't listening and of course failed, "are young and eager to serve."

"I'll trust the Alliance to select the best crew for the Normandy," she said shaking her head, "but I want you to be my pilot again. That is, if you want."

"I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world," he said smiling.

"Great," said Shepard nodding. "_My relationship with Garrus wouldn't survive my driving __skills again_," she thought, joking to herself. "I'll see you there later, then."

Shepard returned to her ship. She went to the Comm room, but instead of Garrus she found Samantha Traynor, working.

"Are you traveling with us?" asked the Commander to the young specialist.

"I..." started Samantha, confused.

"I know you're needed to corner Cerberus," Shepard continued taking a step towards her, "but what I'm asking is if you can do your duties on board."

"I suppose I could," said Traynor nodding. "Yes, definitely I can. The QEC I installed can transmit large amounts of data, and of course they communicate in real time." After a moment, she added, "Yes, I'm traveling with you, Commander."

"Good, pack a toothbrush then," Shepard joked. She patted the shoulder of the specialist, who was smiling, and left the Comm room.

She went back to her cabin and read again the profile of Sarah Williams. It said that she had enlisted during the war, after the attack of the Reapers to Earth. She was twenty years old when she joined the Alliance, in the middle of chaos that was humanity's home planet. She helped in the resistance and was responsible for the most heroic and almost suicidal feats after that. For instance, she had killed a brute by running over it with a truck. She saved her whole unit by creating a perimeter of flammable material around the place they were trapped in, and setting it on fire. She drove a school bus in the middle of Reaper controlled territory, saving the life of forty children. The list went on, but everything on it was equally reckless and valiant.

Because of all those deeds, she had been promoted to the rank of Service Chief. The file did say that she wasn't promoted further because of the short time that she had served, but that she was recommended for advancement within the Alliance. It also said, on the field for marital status, that she was a widow. The woman was not even twenty one years old yet.

When Hackett had sent her the profiles, Shepard had told him that she wanted to meet Sarah. The Admiral had sent her a message telling her that Williams would report to the Normandy in the next few days.

Two days later, Shepard was practically climbing up the walls because she lacked of things to do, other than talking with her crew. She had some conversations with Ysel'Voon and decided that she really liked the young quarian. Both Ysel and Tali could be found on the Engineering deck most of the day, working or talking with Adams about work. She missed Gabby and Ken. She heard however that they got married and were working in Alliance R&D.

Shepard also talked with other people in her team. Javik and Grunt moved to the Normandy, with the krogan taking his former room, the Port Cargo Area on deck 4, and the prothean occupying Liara's office on deck 3. Cortez worked on deck 5, like he used to. Garrus did calibrate the main guns again, but when he wasn't in their cabin, she knew she could find him in the Comm room, advising the Primarch or Malen Talyk. EDI and Traynor normally worked in the War Room, discussing Cerberus' movements and deciphering clues. The Commander also found out that Joker had put a bed for himself in the AI core. When she entered, just routinely inspecting her ship, she could see a lot of cushions over the bed.

She was planing routes with Joker in the CIC when the elevator's door opened. A young woman exited, wearing a plain Alliance uniform. She had light blue eyes and pale skin. Her brown auburn hair was firmly held in a bun. Although Shepard had never seen her before, she knew exactly who the girl was. She recognized the family features. The bone structure, the nose, the lower lip. All about her face said clearly that she was one of the Williams girls.

"Sarah," Shepard said as the young woman approached. It wasn't a question. It was probably not correct to call by her first name an Alliance soldier she hadn't met before, but Ashley had spoken so much about her sisters that she felt that she knew them already.

"Commander," saluted Williams with some formality. A certain shine in her eyes revealed that she didn't normally behave like that, however.

"Wow," commented Joker, looking at Sarah, "the similarity is uncanny."

"Thank you," said the young woman, smiling. "You must be Joker, the pilot. I remember that Ash did mention that you never took your cap off."

"Yes, I'm Joker," he said nodding. "Sorry if I don't offer you a handshake, but I don't think you'd want to disable the best pilot in the Alliance before we take off. I sort of need both my hands for piloting the ship," seeing the confused look on Sarah's eyes, he clarified, "Brittle bone disease."

"Oh, I understand," said Williams nodding.

Shepard just looked at Joker, and he understood from her expression that she wanted a moment alone to talk with Sarah.

"Nice to meet you," he said. "I'll be at the cockpit if you need me," he informed both Sarah and the Commander. He started walking to the front of the ship.

"Ashley used to speak a lot about you," said Shepard after the pilot was gone. "I never imagined you'd join the Alliance."

"Me neither, ma'am," admitted Sarah lowering her head a bit. "Truth to be told, I've never seen myself in the military growing up. It was in my family, but I thought I could escape from it..." she snorted and chuckled slightly, as she was laughing at her own naivety.

"What made you change your mind?" asked Shepard taking a step towards Williams.

"You see, after my sister died serving under your command," Sarah started explaining, "there was no one else alive in the family following the military tradition. My sisters, Abby and Lynn, where relieved about it. I was sad, but I didn't tell that to anyone. Ashley gave her life defending humanity, and I was proud of her. I still am. You know, she spoke a lot about you as well..."

"I imagine she did," said Shepard nodding. She felt an old pang of pain, for not being able to save them both. She had to choose, and objectively speaking a biotic was more useful for her team at that moment. What made her sad was the realization that if she had to choose again, she would make the same decision.

"Anyway, a few years later I met a wonderful man here on Earth," continued Sarah, looking straight at the Commander. "Thomas, was his name. He was in the military. We fell in love. The Reapers attacked the planet, but we got married anyway. We figured we'd better do it while we still could," she paused and raised her arms. "He got called back during our honeymoon. For some time I didn't have news of him. Later, I was informed that he was killed in action."

"I am so sorry, Sarah," said Shepard putting a hand lightly on her shoulder for just a second.

"Thank you, ma'am," Williams said. Her voice was thick with emotion, but she kept talking. There were no tears in her eyes. "I still hadn't enlisted. The Reapers were rampant, but we survived helped by the Alliance and basically by all other people who could hold a gun. With my mom and my sisters, we ran from place to place, just trying to stay alive another hour. And then... we were surrounded." She stopped talking for a whole minute, grimacing. Dark memories took hold of her mind, and it showed in her beautiful features. Unexpectedly she opened her mouth again. There was raw strength in her tone. "I don't know how many husk there were. The Alliance soldiers that were helping us escape, fell one by one. Then they took my mother. They tore her to pieces. They went for Lynn, and I knew Abby and I were next. I took one of the guns on the ground. And then, Commander, I honestly don't remember what happened. I killed all the husks, I must have, but I don't remember myself doing it."

"I understand," said Shepard nodding.

"It was too late to save Lynn. I destroyed her body, and my mom's, so they couldn't take them and turn them into those horrible things. Abby and I reached a farm where we found help, but she wasn't quite herself. She hardly spoke. She was deeply affected by what she had seen, but she was alive. And then I understood what Ash had died for. What Thomas had died for. I understood my father and his dedication to duty," she paused, as if reliving all those difficult times in her head. Her face was contorted in pain, but she obviously didn't want to stop talking about it. "I left Abby in that farm and enlisted. It wasn't like I could find a recruitment office. I found a group of soldiers and told them I wanted a gun and a uniform."

"You've done quite a few things after that," the Commander remarked in awe.

"I had to," Sarah explained shrugging. "We had no choice."

"But you have choice now," said Shepard looking at her in the eyes. "Why did you stay in the Alliance, after the war?"

"There's no turning back," she said smiling and shaking her head. "I **became** a soldier, ma'am. What else could I do? Abby is receiving treatment for her PTSD. She could do anything with her life when she gets better, but I can't. It wouldn't feel right. I guess it's in my blood after all," she paused and gestured with her hands, "Please, don't get me wrong. I do want to be in the Alliance. Perhaps I'd be doing something different if the Reapers hadn't invaded us, but they did and the experience transformed me in an irreversible way."

"And you want to serve on the Normandy?" asked Shepard. She empathized with the young woman. She could see how she must have felt and understood why she wanted to remain a soldier, how she felt she couldn't go back to being a civilian. She was obviously still affected by what had happened, but probably most people were. They had to find a way to move on, and the Commander thought she could help Sarah if she kept her around.

"Yes, please, ma'am," said Williams standing straight, all business. "It'll be an honor. I know this isn't physically the same ship my sister served on, but symbolically it is, and it meant everything to her. If you let me stay, I won't let you down."

"I'd never believe a Williams would let me down, Sarah," Shepard said with a smile.

"Thank you, Commander," said the young woman smiling as well.

"Welcome aboard." Melody extended her hand, and Sarah shook it with enthusiasm.

* * *

* **Note:** In my head it would have been great to ship Tali with Kal'Reegar, but unfortunately he died in the canon, so that's impossible. And no, I don't want to change the canon, because he died a hero.


	31. Ch 31: A visit

Chapter 31: A visit

It was probably wrong to use Alliance's resources just to go have a beer with an old friend. However, she had nothing to do and the shuttle she had taken was destined to the Normandy anyway. No one else was using it, and they wouldn't be able to in a few days. She was going to take it to the stars, like everything and everyone else she'd take with her inside her ship. Her situation was strange, because technically she was on duty all the time. Nevertheless, all other soldiers had a couple free days a week. Most had weekends, so she decided she would take one for herself.

She had never been to Cairo, although in her case that applied to most cities on Earth. She was delighted with that particular metropolis upon her arrival. The elaborate mosques, the ancient stone streets, the impossibly high skyscrapers, the crowded markets and of course the powerful Nile, all sang a song Commander Shepard hadn't heard before. The devastation was the sour note in it. Like all the cities on Earth, the capital of Egypt had been scourged by ancient machines, enemies of organic life.

Shepard decided to walk to her destination. She had plenty of time. She even bought a few trinkets at a local market, to make gifts for her crew. There were no catalog interfaces, no automatic systems. The products were right there on display over tables with blankets on them. She could touch everything and discuss the price with the vendors. The Commander loved it. A merchant persuaded her to get a small Bastet statue for herself. She decided she would place it in her cabin, near her private terminal.

Finally, she arrived at a relatively small bar. It wasn't very crowded, and she couldn't see any aliens inside. There were three men passionately discussing about something at a table next to the back wall. A couple was lost into each others eyes. A middle aged woman was drinking alone, her gaze fixed on the glass. She was lost in her own thoughts, and judging by her expression, they were probably very sad.

Melody searched for Bailey but she couldn't find him. She started walking towards a table of her liking, when she saw the former C-Sec agent coming in. She waited for him to reach her. When he was close, she passed all her bags to her left hand and extended her right. He shook her hand firmly and looked her up and down.

"You don't look so bad," he commented, "for a woman who was a breathing corpse not so long ago. If you don't mind me saying it like that."

"Not at all," she said chuckling. She indicated the table she was heading to, and they both walked there. They sat in front of each other.

"How have you been?" he asked. A waitress approached, left two menus on the table, and walked away.

"To be honest?" Shepard said, taking her menu and glancing at it. She sounded tired, but she wasn't really going to tell everything to him. "Busy. Very busy."

"I'm glad that not too busy to have a drink with an old friend," he commented smiling at her. "This place serves a great ale. Drinks are on me."

"I'll trust your judgment," she said placing down the menu. Bailey made a signal to the waitress, who came immediately. She took the order and the menus. Less than twenty seconds later, she placed a pint in front of each of them.

"One would think that the Alliance would give you a break," said Bailey when the waitress was gone.

"They tried to," Shepard said, taking a sip from her beer. He was right, it was really good. It was nice to just sit there, in a bar enjoying a cold drink, located in a country she had never been to. A country on humanity's home world, that had suffered but somehow survived. That was what humans did, what life did. "If I wanted to just lay on my back staring at the ceiling, I'd be allowed to do exactly that. I just don't want to."

"Oh, I see," he said nodding. He took a large gulp of beer. "The Alliance needs you, but not as badly as you need them."

"Something like that," she said chuckling. She shouldn't be surprised that he could read into her so easily with so little clues. After all, he had been a good C-Sec agent. "_Probably not as good as Garrus_," her mind supplemented.

"Yeah," he said looking at one side, "I heard that you're leaving Earth soon."

"Within days," she said nodding. She moved on her seat and drank some beer. "I can't complain though. I have a good ship, a good crew... all I need is a good planet to plunder and all will be fantastic." Her tone was somewhere between irony and amusement. "But what about yourself, Bailey? How have you been?"

"You know? It's better now," he started explaining, gesturing with his hands and looking at her, "but it was chaos back then. We did all we could to help. The Citadel is up there, torn, but my men at C-Sec still answer to me. I must have done something right."

"I'm sure you did a lot of things right," she said smiling at him. "I'm glad you wrote me. I didn't know you were alive, I just assumed..." Shepard interrupted herself.

"It was tough," Bailey said lowering his head. "You know how many people we managed to get out?" he asked and she denied with her head, "About sixty thousand. But you know how many people lived on the Citadel? More than thirteen million. Thirteen fucking million," he repeated with a twinge of pain audible in his voice.

"You did more than most," she said softly, trying to comfort him.

"Now Commander Shepard is telling me that **I** did more than most," he said looking up at her and smiling. "Shut up, will you?" He shook his head, finished his beer in one gulp, and added, "Anyway, we were still in Serpent Nebula when the Reapers arrived. We barely made it to the mass relay. The ships were loaded with refugees, but everyone was waiting for **me** to give the order of where to go. And all I could think about was Earth. Then I thought: 'To hell with it. If this war is gonna end some day, we'll help retake our planet. And if not, we're all screwed anyway.' So I gave the order. Imagine my surprise when a few hours later the Citadel was right there in Earth's sky." He paused and took a deep breath. "We fought, Shepard. Oh boy, did we fight. But I don't know why I'm telling you. You know what I'm talking about."

She nodded, dark memories crawling into her head. She exerted her will to push those thoughts out, and drowned them in the rest of her beer.

"Why Egypt?" she asked, signaling around with the head, to the bar and the windows that showed them the life in Cairo. "Of all the places on Earth?"

"I came here following a lead," he explained. He lowered his voice a little. "You see, when it all ended, I started searching for my family. My ex-wife... she didn't make it."

"I'm sorry," she said, sympathetic.

"I found my son," he continued. "Both him and my daughter could escape, but they got separated at some point. Letizia, my daughter, managed somehow to send my boy a message telling him that she was traveling with Alliance soldiers, but they couldn't reach him. She told him some names. I found one of those soldiers here, but the thing is he got wounded and separated from the rest. He didn't know the whereabouts of my 'sunshine'." Bailey paused briefly. "Anyway, this is as good a base of operations as any. So here I am, with my boy, waiting for any other leads about his sister. If nothing else, I wish to properly... bury her..." his voice cracked and he couldn't continue speaking.

"I'll ask around," Shepard offered, placing her hand over his on the table. "Tell me the names of those soldiers and I'll see what I can do."

"I tried to find them already," he said shaking his head, "but I had no luck. I believe they're all dead..."

"The names, Bailey," she insisted in her tone of command. He obeyed of course, transferring the names to her omni-tool.

"Thank you, Shepard," he said honestly.

"Thank me when I find something," she retorted. "Now... you told me that Aria T'Loak is behaving herself?" she said in reference to the message he had sent her to her private terminal.

"Surprisingly, she is," he confirmed nodding. "However, there's another asari making a lot of fuss lately. And with lately I really mean the last few days," he paused. "In fact, after it was public that humans and turians were parting ways with asari and salarians."

"What's she saying?" asked Commander Shepard. She hadn't heard about any asari making a fuss, but of course she had also lost contact with the Shadow Broker.

"Oh, she isn't happy, that I can say," Bailey told her gesturing with his head and hands. "She actively opposes Matriarch Codas. She's saying to anyone who'll hear her, that the people who voted Codas as the asari representative are obviously afflicted with PTSD. According to her, her species had enough inaction. She's gathering the asari who think like her, and she says that when she has enough support she will petition the New Council for an embassy."

"An asari separatist?" Shepard said, surprised. Then she had a hunch, and she asked, "What's her name?"

"Matriarch Aethyta," informed Commander Bailey, thus confirming the hunch she had. "She's here on Earth. Was one of the refugees from the Citadel."

"I know," she said nodding. She couldn't help showing half a smile on her face, as she remembered the conversations she had with Liara's father. That included the asari custom to call 'father' to anyone that helped conceiving a child but didn't carry the baby, regardless of gender. "Thank you for telling me this. You just made my day."

After another hour and a couple more beers, Shepard was ready to return to London. She said goodbye to Commander Bailey and promised again to tell him if she found anything about Letizia.

She reached the Normandy without incidents, and gave everyone the small objects she had bought for them in Egypt. Garrus was confused about the silver scarab she handed him. She told him it was for good luck, so he shrugged and took it. Melody wasn't a superstitious woman, but when it came to that particular turian, she decided she would take all the help she could get to keep him safe. She wanted that help even if it came from ancient beliefs, secret gods, lost traditions or mysterious spirits.

Garrus told her that he had to intervene in a minor fight between Grunt and Javik. Apparently the prothean had made a comment about how 'primitive' the krogan were, and the young member of Urdnot clan threatened to eat raw prothean entrails. After Vakarian's mediation they just decided not to speak to each other.

"I'm glad that, somehow, the ship still holds in one piece after my absence," Shepard commented amused. She leaned on the railing next to the console where he was working. Just as he had anticipated, he had returned to the main batteries. That was the same place where they had first discussed about 'reach and flexibility', in a time that seemed so long ago. She knew of course that he was there because he wasn't needed by his people's government at that time. Nothing was the same, even though they pretended it was.

"Oh, we didn't have time to dismantle the Tantalus drive core and pawn the pieces," he joked, tilting his head slightly, "but I did see Tali holding a screwdriver suspiciously."

"I'll have to keep an eye on those quarians," she said following the joke, but in a very serious tone. She was the type of people who believed it wasn't funny otherwise.

"You know?" he said, and from the slight shift of his tone she knew he wasn't talking in jest anymore. "I spoke with Sarah. About... Ashley. She wanted to know how I remembered her sister, me being a turian and all."

"What did you tell her?" asked the Commander looking straight at him with her bright blue eyes. She recalled Ash's distrust of aliens in general aboard the first Normandy, and of turians in particular. Of course, Shepard couldn't blame her, not especially since she learned her family history. The Commander had however spoken with Ashley and tried to open her mind about non-human species.

"The truth," replied Garrus. He typed something on the console, and then looked up at her. "That we hadn't exactly... started off on the right foot, as your people say, but that with time we got along. That she was a great soldier and we all miss her."

"Yeah, we do," she sighed and buried her head between her shoulders. "Ash was more than just a soldier we rescued from Eden Prime. With time, she became a friend." She lowered her head and lost in her thoughts for a minute. After the silence, she suddenly chuckled and looked up, "I've just remembered a conversation we once had."

"About what?" asked Garrus, intrigued.

"About the non-human members of the crew," Shepard said approaching him further. "I told her she'd have to work with aliens, and she said 'You tell me to kiss a turian, I'll ask which cheek'. I even told her that kissing turians wouldn't be necessary," she completed the phrase by planting a sounding kiss on his cheek.

"I'm glad you couldn't resist my charm," he said caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. "And I'm glad that you insisted when we were..." he interrupted himself, "when Cerberus was working for us. I had too many doubts."

"You think I didn't have doubts?" she practically shrieked. "But I couldn't have it that way. I wouldn't reduce us both to a shivering mass of indecision, when we could be doing more interesting things. I knew that no matter what happened, you'd never hurt me."

"Never," he confirmed, nodding. "But I don't have doubts now. Not even a small one."

She was about to reply, when she could hear the voice of Joker coming from one of the loudspeakers in the ship.

"Huh... Commander?" said the pilot. "I'd hate to interrupt something, but..."

"What is it, Joker?" she asked immediately in her professional voice.

"There are three batarians here who want to speak with you," replied Jeff, sounding confused through the comm system. "One of them claims to be Governor Grothan Pazness*, and the other two are his escorts."

* * *

* Note: I know I said I wouldn't include anything from the DLCs in this story, but although this character, Grothan Pazness, can be only found in Leviathan, he's just a war asset from a random planet. We all know that Shepard scanned a lot of random planets! Nothing about Governor Grothan Pazness is relevant to the Leviathan story, and I could have created a batarian OC or used one from the lore. I chose the second.


	32. Ch 32: When the batarians plot

Chapter 32: When the batarians plot

Shepard entered the elevator followed by Garrus, who insisted on escorting her. It was true that she had rescued Governor Pazness and that he had thanked her back then, but she didn't know why would he show up on her ship. Commander Shepard didn't exactly have the best reputation among batarians, after repelling their attack on Elysium but especially after destroying the Alpha Relay, and annihilating the colony of Aratoht with it.

When Garrus and her entered the CIC, she could see Pazness dressed in his dignitaries clothes, and two heavily armed guards behind him. She had only seen Grothan Pazness once, but the Alliance had trained her in recognizing faces, especially alien. To the right, Shepard could see Tali'Zorah, Ysel'Voon and EDI. The three of them appeared to just be casually standing there, but she noticed they had their side weapons. She smiled to herself, thinking about how protective her team was of her, but she didn't show the emotion on her features.

"Governor Pazness," she greeted with a nod. The Commander stood in front of the batarian dignitary, ignoring his guards but only in appearance. She was ready to react the second they tried something shady. She knew her team would do the same. Three batarians were no match for them, if their intentions were wicked.

"Commander Shepard," the Governor saluted in reply. "Thank you for receiving me. I'm sorry that I didn't send a message, but I don't know how private your channels are."

"What can I do for you?" she asked, imbuing a casual tone to the question. She was intrigued, but she had learned with the years that it was never a good idea to show the exact amount of one's curiosity.

"Would you mind speaking in private?" the batarian Governor asked, glancing with his four eyes at the people around them.

Shepard signaled with the head in the direction of the conference room. Pazness started walking in that direction, but his guards didn't follow him. The Commander noticed Garrus' expression before leaving: he didn't like it. She made the turian a gesture with the hand, trying to indicate him not to worry, but she could tell it wasn't enough to relax him.

The door that led to the conference room closed behind Grothan Pazness and Melody Shepard. She led him to the room and stood at one side of the table. He surrounded the table and placed himself in front of her, with his back to the window.

"Your crew think I have bad intentions," said Pazness plainly, signaling with his head to the direction they came from, "but I didn't forget how you rescued me when there was no hope for me. Furthermore, I'm just a politician, what could I do against veteran soldiers such as yourselves?"

"I don't suppose you came here just to thank me again," she said bluntly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No," he admitted. He placed both his palms on the table, leaning slightly on it. "I need something from you, and I could give you something you'll find very interesting."

"What do you need?" she asked openly. The Commander was a little impatient. She didn't mind helping people as long as she thought that they deserved it, but she wasn't sure about him. It was true that this Governor had published daily extranet videos rallying his comrades to cooperate with the Citadel species, after he was rescued. However, before that he had been very outspoken against the Alliance and humanity. Shepard wasn't sure if he was still grateful, or if during those months he had gone back to his old way of thinking.

"I can't speak about it," he said, a little nervous, "unless you give me your word that you'll be discreet."

"It depends on what you tell me," she replied, tense. She leaned slightly back, her arms still crossed over her chest, and tilted her head a bit. "You know that I respond to the Alliance, and if the New Council decide to have something like Spectres and confirm my status, I'll respond to them as well."

"That is precisely why I want to talk with you," explained the batarian gesturing with his hands, "but you are connected with a lot other people that shouldn't hear about this. It's a very delicate matter that could harm my people."

"Speak then," she said uncrossing her arms and taking a step towards the table. "I give you my word that I won't do anything to harm your people if I can help it."

The batarian Governor seemed to relax a little. He started pacing back and forth to the side of the large table.

"You see," he started, gesturing with his hands and not looking straight at her as he walked, "before you rescued me, I didn't have the best opinion of humans. But I didn't change my mind just because you saved my life. I could have come to the conclusion that you were the exception for your species."

"What made you change your mind, then?" she asked in a serious tone, letting her arms relax to her sides.

"You left me on the Citadel," he continued, "and there I could see all the war efforts. But I saw more. I saw how the Citadel received my brothers and sisters, how they gave a place to batarian refugees. And you have to understand, Commander, that before that I worked only with the information that the Hegemony would let me have."

"I thought," she said taking a hand to massage the back of her head, "that you were part of the Hegemony, being a Governor."

"In a sense," he said nodding, "but I didn't make the decisions. I was just the leader of a colony, and that placed me below the leaders of Khar'shan, when they were alive I mean. I knew that the head of the Hegemony was hiding information from me, just as I hid things from my citizens. I just didn't know that they were hiding so much." He breathed deeply and said, "On the Citadel, I could see things I never imagined. I spoke with all kind of people. Batarian refugees, turian generals, asari matriarchs. I came to amazing, and sometimes terrifying conclusions. I connected a few loose ends, and that's what I want to discuss with you. I really hope that you honor your word, because if you don't, it could mean my people's doom."

"I fought to preserve life," she said offended, with a hand on her waist, "and I won't start destroying it now. Some people think that I have something against batarians, but I don't. I just have something against slavers and terrorists of any species. And about what happened with Aratoht..."

"The Reapers were coming," he said interrupting her with a sour smile. "I know, Commander. You had no choice. That's one of the things I learned, connecting the threads."

"I'm listening," said Shepard, relaxing her attitude a little. The batarian had just captured her attention.

"The leaders of Khar'shan," he said looking directly at her with all of his eyes, leaning slightly with his hands on the table, "were fully indoctrinated. When the Reapers came, they opened the doors for them. They deactivated all defenses on our homeworld and most colonies. Remember, Commander, when the Council was afraid of entering a war with the Terminus Systems?" he asked the question with irony and regret in his voice. "It was the Batarian Hegemony that they feared. We controlled most worlds in the Terminus Systems, but those days are gone," he paused, shaking his head. "I spoke with too many survivors who saw their colonies burn." He lowered his head. "We didn't have any QEC between our worlds like you had, thus it's impossible for us to communicate with the colonies we might have left. However, I estimate that there are about thirty million survivors out there, not counting the batarians currently on Earth. Best case scenario."

"That's... brutal," she said, shivering. Thirty million was about the population of any large city on Earth before the war.

"Indeed," he said nodding, with a trace of despair in his voice. "And that's why the Hegemony is uneasy. With the Hegemony this days, I mean Ka'hairal Balak and his people. They fear that once humanity learns of this, you'll eradicate us because now you can."

Balak was not a name that she liked hearing. She had let him escape years ago on Asteroid X57, because it was the only way to save the life of the prisoners he had taken. She thought she would have time to capture him later, but her mission to stop Saren took precedence. Then, during the war with the Reapers, she had forgiven Balak's life to get the support of the batarian fleet. He had cornered her on the Citadel and thought that he had her where he wanted her. However she knew that she could move faster than he was willing to believe, and if he fired his gun, he was dead. She had wanted him dead, badly, but her duty was not about the things she wanted.

"We aren't like that," she said to the Governor crossing her arms on her chest. "We don't just commit genocide because we can. We will of course defend ourselves from any aggression, and we don't like your people's practice of taking slaves from our colonies."

"If I thought you just want to kill us no matter what, I wouldn't be here," he said plainly. "I'd just side with Balak and hope for his plan to work. The thing is he's scared, he believe humanity will exterminate us, and there's nothing in the galaxy that will convince him otherwise. Scared people don't make the brightest decisions."

"What are you telling me?" the Commander asked leaning on the table with her hands. She couldn't hide a little anxiety, because she knew how vicious Balak could be.

"He won't wait until the mass relays are repaired," Pazness explained gesturing with his hands. "He's preparing for war, and he wants to take advantage of the fact he's stranded on humanity's homeworld. I have my spies here and there, and they tell me that Balak plans to play dirty. He has to if he wants to have any chance, due to numerical disadvantage. And I plan to stop him," he said that last sentence with a determination that resounded in the conference room and in Shepard's ears for a full second.

"Why?" she asked, suspicious. Was he saying the truth? Was the man really so grateful that he was willing to go against the highest living authority of his people? Was he playing some kind of sick game with her?

"Balak won't listen to reason," Governor Pazness said shaking his head. "He doesn't realize that if he does this, even if he succeed the other races will respond. The only possible outcome of his actions will be to precipitate our fall. Here on Earth, I'm the only one who can end his madness. Our society is very strict, they won't accept a leader of a lower caste."

"And you need help to stop Balak?" guessed Shepard, standing straight.

"No," he said categorically, shaking his head. He leaned forward. "I can place the order to kill him and his followers anytime. I can end the Hegemony. That's the kind of power I gathered in this time," his looked confident and strong. "My followers are all the batarians who – living now on Earth – could see how much was the Hegemony lying to them. What they know now, they cannot unknow, and they don't want to go back to how things were. However, most are too scared of Balak to act on their own. Some believe that a war with humanity is unavoidable, and thus will follow Balak out of fear. I can win those people over to my cause, get their support and become the next batarian leader, but only if I can promise them peace and prosperity. If I kill Balak now, my people will fall to chaos. If on the other hand you help me get a peace treaty with your people, his realm of terror ends that day."

"Let me see if I get this straight," Shepard said crossing her arms. "You want my help to secure a peace treaty with humanity, and then you'll kill Balak and raise as leader of all batarians?"

"That's the idea," said Pazness nodding. "However I wouldn't think about asking for this empty-handed. Like I told you before, I have something that you'll find very interesting. With you, I mean humanity."

"What is it?" she asked narrowing her eyes.

"Among my followers," he said pacing back and forth, "I have a few repented pirates. They gave me the location of one of their bases, and it happens to be near Earth, relatively speaking. It's a large moon, about half the size of your Earth, in orbit around a gas giant. They have a lot of resources stored there. Refined palladium and iridium, eezo, heavy metals, rare elements. You name it. I'm speaking about really large quantities. Everything is already conveniently boxed, and yours to have it. Some pirates still live there, but not enough to be a match for you."

"Sounds tempting," she admitted nodding, but all her muscles were tense, "unless you're sending me to a trap."

"Why would I do that, Commander?" he asked shocked, shaking his head. He stood up in front of her across the table. "I gain nothing from getting you out of the picture."

"I think you do," Melody said holding her gaze on him. She dropped her arms to her side. "You need popular support, and your people hate the name of Commander Shepard."

"You give me too much credit," he said chuckling. He looked honestly amused. "Do you think I'd invent a lie so elaborate just to send you to a dangerous location where you could or could not die? You can't be killed so easily, you've proved that much. I'd be risking too much if I did that. If I were to set a trap on you, it could be considered an act of war. It could flush the peace treaty down the toilet," he paused and shook his head. "No, Commander, believe me. Even if I didn't totally despise the idea of hurting you after you saved me, I have more use for you alive than dead."

She found herself believing him. Something about him, his attitude, his tone and expression, told her that he wasn't lying. He was probably hiding other things from her, but she could tell that he was honest when he said he despised the mere idea of hurting her after what she had done for him.

"You're right," she said softly. "But that brings me back to the peace treaty. I can't speak for humanity's representatives, but I can tell you that there will be conditions. Humanity is against slavery."

"Unfortunately," he said, "slavery is an integral part of batarian society. There are castes, and people on the lowest one are born and die slaves. This is how it has always been, and how it will continue to be. Each of us are raised within a caste, and our social organization is deeply rooted in our brains. I won't last long as a leader if I attack the caste system. I can however make illegal the capture of people of other species."

"Making something illegal," she protested, crossing her arms, "doesn't mean anything if you don't enforce the law."

"We will," he promised.

"What about releasing the slaves your people already have?" she said raising the bet.

"Without the comm buoys," Pazness said shaking his head slowly, "I don't even know how many slaves did even survive. I can tell you that we didn't bring any with us. We normally use them for work in mines or factories. There's no way I could communicate with my people to tell them to release the slaves, and even if I could, they wouldn't have any ships in which to send them to their home planets."

What the Governor was saying was reasonable, but it did little to quell the anger the situation produced her. She wanted those people to be free, right that moment. Who knew what were the batarians doing to those slaves, how were they torturing them? And they would have to wait until the mass relays were fixed and a release could be negotiated, provided they survived that much.

"Fine," she said, trying hard not to grit her teeth when she spoke, "I'll do whatever I can to get you that peace treaty."

"Then I'll give you the coordinates of the base, like I promised," he said fiddling with his omni-tool.

"But I don't know if they'll accept yet," she said extending her hand in front of her in a stop signal.

"You said you'll do your best," he said, and she could hear her own omni-tool beeping, receiving the coordinates. "That's enough for me. If your leaders don't accept the treaty, consider those resources a gift to humanity for all your trouble. I'll be dead anyway, because Balak won't put up with me much longer. As it is now, he could as easily destroy me as I could destroy him," he paused and gave her a resigned smile. "Again, Commander Shepard, thank you for receiving me and listening to me. I've taken enough of your time already."

She escorted him to the CIC, and from there, Tali and Ysel insisted on accompanying the three batarians out of the ship and the hangar. Shepard thought the two quarians wanted to make sure the Governor and his guards were leaving.

Garrus had an expression of annoyance and intrigue on his face with plaques. She made him a signal ordering him to follow her. He obeyed, and they both entered their private cabin a minute later.

"What did he want?" the turian asked, unable to hide his concern anymore.

"Garrus, I'm tired," she said dropping herself on the couch. He sat right beside her. "I'll tell you, but you're not allowed to interrupt me or ask questions until I'm finished."

Shepard told him everything, every last detail of the conversation she just had with Governor Pazness. She knew she wasn't breaking her word by telling Garrus, because he didn't want genocide on the batarian people any more than she did. He just listened in silence, like she had asked him to do.

"So," he said after she had finished speaking, suspicion dripping from his voice, "you believe him?"

"What do we have to lose?" she replied shrugging. "He only wants a peace treaty. If he said the truth, he gains a lot from it, but it's not like it hurts us. I'm willing to talk with Kaidan and Hackett for a chance to see Balak out of the picture for good. I knew he would be a danger sooner or later, but I needed the batarian fleet."

"You did what you had to," he said with his steel blue eyes fixed on her.

"I know," Shepard said nodding, "but we'll all sleep better when he's gone." She started caressing his face, and switched to a seductive tone of voice. "Now, Vakarian, before Pazness came, I think you were telling me how you didn't have doubts about being with me..."


	33. Ch 33: Some things change, others don't

Chapter 33: Some things change, others don't

Kaidan Alenko and Steven Hackett were both looking at Shepard, blinking. The morning sun shone bright in the sky, but they couldn't see it because they were inside Hackett's office, a small windowless room filled with boxes and datapads. The circuit on the door was red, as it had been ever since the three of them had entered the place.

Melody had told them everything she had discussed with Grothan Pazness the day before. She even told them that she personally thought there was no harm in accepting the peace treaty, as she had said to Garrus. She believed that if the batarians tried something fishy they could always undo the treaty, or even declare war later.

"I'm more worried about those coordinates Pazness gave you," declared Hackett with his hand on his chin. They were standing in front of each other, forming a triangle before the Admiral's desk. "They're really far away from batarian space and close to Earth. Did he tell you why those pirates have their base there?"

"No, sir," the Commander said shaking her head slightly. "Joker estimates it would take us about two weeks to get there. We'll probably know then."

"He says it's not a trap," commented Alenko tilting his head, "but we don't know that."

"I don't think it is," said Melody looking at the Major. "Listen, I can't tell how I know it, but he wasn't lying when he said he doesn't want me dead. We took bigger risks and survived, Kaidan."

"Well, let's suppose we sign the treaty," the human representative said, combing his black hair with his hand. "What will stop them from strengthening their fleets and attacking us in the future?"

"We won't turn our backs on them," said the Admiral looking at Alenko, with both his arms to his sides. "We'll rebuild our fleets too, and add ships if possible. This time, I don't think we'll be left alone by the other alien species in the New Council."

"We won't be, sir," said Shepard with a nod.

"I have to say," said Hackett taking his hand to his chin again, "that I'm really intrigued about this pirate base. Perhaps we should delay our decision until you get there and tell us what you find."

"I don't think that Pazness has that kind of time," said the Commander taking a hand on the back of her neck. "In fact, knowing Balak, I'm surprised that he didn't take down Pazness yet. Perhaps he does have as much power as he claims, or he had been really lucky."

"You're right, Shepard," the Admiral said nodding. "Contact Pazness and tell him that we agree on his proposition, as long as he respects the clause about slavery."

"I will, sir," said the Commander in her military tone.

"One more thing," added Hackett with a gesture of his hand. "Be careful when you reach that moon. If you do find resources, scan every single box. We don't know if they plan to introduce harmful bacteria or hostile lifeforms on Earth."

"Will do," she said, nodding.

"I wish I could go too," commented Kaidan. "Perhaps one single trip with the Normandy..."

"No, Alenko, sorry," said the Admiral shaking his head. "We cannot risk the human representative like that."

"Right, sir," said Kaidan with a certain tone of regret in his voice.

"I wouldn't let you come anyway," commented Melody with half a smile. "But if you ask nicely, I could take you for a pleasure trip sometime."

"Very funny," said Alenko grumbling.

Shepard left the Admiral's office a minute later. She contacted Governor Pazness, using the safe channel that he had given her. She told him that the peace treaty had been accepted, and that he could go to sign it to the Alliance's base right away.

An hour later, Grothan Pazness showed up, followed by some personal guards. He crossed paths with Shepard.

"You kept your word, Commander," the batarian dignitary said in a tone that expressed admiration. "You won't regret this."

"Let's hope I don't," she said with a nod.

She watched the batarian climb up the stairs, in the direction of Hackett's office. Minutes later, she saw him going down, holding a datapad triumphantly in his hand. He made it to his vehicle followed by his escorts, and vanished from view. Kaidan went down the stairs seconds later, and stood next to Shepard.

"There goes one happy batarian," she commented signaling at the exit door with her head. They were downstairs, in the base. Other soldiers passed by, but they respectfully kept their distance.

"You know, Shepard?" Alenko said, his voice turning nostalgic. "When I was sitting in the Normandy's cockpit with Joker, hearing him complain about Nihlus, I never imagined I'd be placing my own signature on a peace treaty with a whole alien species."

"We didn't imagine a lot of things, Kaidan," she said patting the side of his arm friendly. "Look at me. People think I'm a politician, and I'm too good at it for my own taste."

"You're perfect at anything you try," he said chuckling.

"Fine," she said smiling, "let me find a Mako and I'll take you for a ride."

"Not the Mako, please," he said inclining back and placing both his hands in front of him, in a fake defensive attitude. "I still have nightmares with that thing."

"Garrus won't let me drive at all," she commented in a casual tone.

"Well," the Major said shrugging, "I guess he's a turian with self-preservation instincts."

"You're all exaggerating," she said laughing softly. "On how many missions did I drive, and how many times you died because of my driving skills?"

"You're right, Commander," he said patting her shoulder. "You didn't let us die." A second later his eyes clouded, and she knew what he was thinking. Virmire. He confirmed her guess when he opened his mouth again: "I heard that... Sarah Williams is on your team."

"She is," Shepard said nodding.

"Is she anything like Ashley?" asked the Major raising his hands in a questioning gesture.

"Why don't you find out yourself?" offered Melody. "She'll like talking to someone who was her sister's friend. She's living on the Normandy."

"I might pay you a visit then," said Kaidan.

While she was still in the Alliance's base, she took the chance to ask other soldiers about the names on the list that Bailey had given her. She didn't have any luck, but they promised they would ask around and contact her if they found anything about the soldiers that were traveling with Letizia Bailey, or about Letizia herself.

Later that day, Shepard heard on the news about the peace treaty between humanity and the batarians. She also heard that after a confusing episode that was being investigated, rioting batarians had killed Balak and his followers. She hadn't expected that when Pazness said that 'his realm of terror ends that day', he literally meant the very same day the treaty was signed. He probably had no choice however; he couldn't give time for Balak to react. Shepard also guessed what would happen with the investigation being conducted about the 'confusing episode': nothing at all. It struck her that Pazness was the kind of person who would protect his followers, and he obviously had the power that would allow him to do that.

Back on the Normandy, when she was crossing the CIC for no particular reason other than boredom, she heard the familiar voice of Samantha Traynor saying: "Commander, you've got a new message in your private terminal."

She smiled to herself and nodded to the young specialist. She didn't know why Traynor was there and not in the War Room like she used to lately, but the announcement made Shepard feel like in the old days. She hadn't liked fighting the Reapers of course, but it had been a terrain she knew and was accustomed to.

The Commander took the elevator to her cabin. She rarely, if ever, read her messages on the terminal next to the galaxy map. That was a habit that she had acquired when she had Kelly Chambers as her Yeoman. Shepard hadn't wanted the red-haired from Cerberus to guess the content of the messages, from any involuntary gestures she might have made while reading them. She knew back then that Miranda read her messages, but she didn't mind. She might not have trusted Lawson that much on the beginning, but she owed the operative her life. To Chambers she owed nothing, she had bad vibes around her, and the Yeoman had made it worse when she once mentioned that she wanted to hold Garrus close and whisper 'it will be all right'. Garrus was her friend and nothing more when Chambers had said that; in fact, at that time she couldn't even imagine that one day she would be romantically involved with Vakarian, but Shepard still thought: "_Back off, bitch!_". She felt a little sorry for Kelly when the woman kept speaking about the trauma she suffered in the Collector's base, but not sorry enough to ever like the woman.

In the privacy of her cabin, Shepard first checked on her space hamster and then opened her terminal. She had a message from Admiral Hackett, indicating the day of her departure. He had attached the list of her crew, and of the C.O. of the other human frigates. She was supposed to meet with the other officers a day before the departure, that would be broadcast worldwide. The Admiral also said that he was positively impressed by Pazness, and that he didn't seem the kind of person that would double-cross them.

The crew of the Normandy arrived the following morning. Shepard was having breakfast in the mess hall, sitting with Chakwas, Joker, Williams, Vakarian and the two quarians. She liked sharing meals with her people when she had time. It allowed her to get to know them better, or relax with the ones she already knew and trusted.

"What's that juice you drink?" asked Sarah to Tali, who was having some green liquid using a straw, or 'emergency induction port'.

"Sob'thia," answered Tali putting the glass aside, "It would translate to your language as something as 'fruit of the night'. We couldn't grow crops that required a lot of sunlight in our ships. My ancestors grabbed what they could before escaping Rannoch, but they had the good sense of taking the seeds they could actually grow."

"They were wise," commented Karin Chakwas.

"Except for the part that made them have to escape," stepped in Joker, and immediately hid his face behind his cup of coffee.

"Joker..." warned Shepard, giving him a chastising look.

"He is right, Commander," said Ysel, lowering his head just slightly. "Our ancestors should have been more tolerant with the geth. Thanks to you, we have the chance to correct their mistake."

"I'm glad you think that way, Ysel," said Shepard. She heard footsteps behind her and swiveled in her chair to see who had entered. It was none other than Major Kaidan Alenko, human representative and impressive biotic.

"It really gives us hope for the future," Kaidan commented, standing next to the table.

"Indeed," said Shepard, and looked at the male quarian. "Have you met Kaidan Alenko yet?"

Ysel got up immediately, and saluted. "Major Alenko, it's an honor." Shepard could see Sarah Williams hesitating about whether she should salute too.

"There's no need to be so formal," said the human biotic smiling. He sat at the table, and gestured at Ysel to do the same. The quarian relaxed and sat back. The Commander saw Chakwas getting up in the direction to the kitchen. She was obviously fixing Kaidan a cup of coffee. The doctor always took care of them, even if they didn't ask.

"Kaidan, this is Ysel'Voon vas Gadya," Melody said introducing the quarian. "I've been told he can fix or hack anything. If he can't, I'll throw him out the airlock," she could tell that Ysel startled even behind his suit, but Tali touched his arm and when he looked at her, she denied with her head. "And this is Sarah Williams, the youngest of the Williams clan."

"I would have been able to tell," commented Alenko looking at Sarah, "even if you hadn't told me who she was." He thanked the doctor with his eyes for the cup of coffee that she left in front of him, and took a sip.

"People keep saying how much I look like my sister," said Williams. "You really think I'm that similar?"

"You are," stepped in Garrus. "Even I can tell, and I'm a turian."

"Yeah, but you like humans, so you're cheating," joked Alenko, chuckling lightly.

"I don't..." said Vakarian, but he interrupted himself shaking his head. He sighed, "I'm not gonna even discuss it with you." Shepard liked him when he pretended to be offended. She lightly caressed the side of the turian's arm.

"I like this ship," commented Sarah, smiling. "Not uptight at all. You wouldn't believe the kind of shit superior officers gave me, even in the middle of a war zone. 'No, sir,'" she mocked, "'I don't have time to address you for your full rank. We're fucking trying not to die here!'"

"Yeah," said Alenko nodding, "Shepard is not like that at all, but her ship is hers. She'll hear what you have to say, then do whatever the hell she wants."

"Hallelujah for that," said Joker lifting his cup of coffee, as if he was toasting.

"Sarah," said doctor Chakwas looking at Williams, "you joined the Alliance in the middle of the war, right?"

"Yes, doctor," replied the young Service Chief nodding. She drank the last of her coffee.

"And you learned how to shoot during the war as well?" asked Chakwas.

"Nope," she said shaking her head. "I'd mastered a basic gun by the age of ten. It came with being one of the Williams girls. My dad wouldn't have had it any other way," she paused and added, "Of course, I hadn't **used** a gun in quite some time. We didn't even have any. The Alliance kept them."

"Your dad was quite a remarkable guy," commented Shepard.

"He was indeed," said Sarah. "At least Ash got to see him again in Heaven." She looked up, to the ceiling of deck 3 inside the Normandy. "Heaven is crowded up there, isn't it? I hope the Lord had enough time to create rooms for everybody."

After finishing breakfast, Shepard went to check again the list of the C.O. of the rest of the frigates, now under her command. She could see, before leaving the mess hall, that people were still talking to each other, some sitting at the table and some other standing near the kitchen. She let them relax, have some idle time. Soon they would have work to do.


	34. Ch 34: Under her command

Chapter 34: Under her command

"Ready, Commander," said Ysel'Voon handing her a small device, that looked like a stick with many buttons. They were on the room below the engineering deck, where Jack used to sleep. The quarian had installed a workshop there. "When you press this button," he indicated signaling a blue rectangle, "it will scan a volume of a thousand cubic meters for biological contaminants, explosive devices and radiation sources." The quarian paused and looked at her, a question evident in his posture. "Do you really think the batarians are leading us to a trap?"

"No, I don't," she said examining the device, "but the Admiral told me to be careful, and I'm really not ready to risk Earth over a hunch."

"You think Pazness is decent enough," he concluded. It wasn't a question.

"A complex galaxy," she said nodding, "dozens of species, and each have their good and their bad."

"But we all share being quick to judge," he commented, somewhat amused. "The vorcha are scavengers, the quarians are thieves, the humans are greedy bastards and the krogan can't think enough to form a full sentence, unless it is about killing someone," he sentenced with sarcasm.

"Glad to have you on my team, Ysel," Shepard said patting the side of his arm. "_Tali chose well_," she thought, but she didn't say it because she didn't know in what stage their relationship was.

She was walking away with the device in one hand, when she stopped and turned back.

"Ysel?" she asked, holding the stick in the air at about the height of her head, "what are the other buttons for?"

"Just calibrations," he replied, and went back to work.

"Right," she said, and thought amused: "_Just what I need. Another alien talking about calibrations in my ship_."

She made her usual round around the ship, to check on her team. Javik was talking with Fairuza Yousif through the QEC, thus she didn't want to interrupt. He didn't exactly need that, because they were still on Earth, but the prothean was probably happy to be able to discuss with the scientist without having to see other sentient beings. She left and went to see the krogan.

"Ready to butt heads, Shepard," said Grunt as soon as she entered his room, before she even had time to ask him anything.

"Glad to hear that," she told the krogan, nodding.

"Take me on the ground team when we reach that base," he requested, punching his left hand with his right fist. "Let's crush some batarian pirates."

"We don't know if we'll have to crush them, Grunt," she said shaking her head. "Perhaps they'll surrender."

"Softie," he commented snorting and shaking his head. "Human softie."

Shepard found Sarah in the Starboard Observation Deck, reading a book on one of the recliners.

"Shepard, I..." started the young soldier, as if she was caught doing something wrong.

"Found something you like?" asked the Commander throwing her self on the other recliner, in front of Williams, for a minute.

"Yes," Sarah said nodding and relaxing on her seat. "Quite a collection you have here. I like the smell of real books. I know you can read everything on a datapad, but having actual paper in your hands... it's magical. It transcends the experience of reading, as if you were being transported to a world that existed far before your time. Call me a romantic, but that's how I feel."

"A former member of my team, Kasumi, likes books too," commented Shepard. "For me, it's the same. I don't smell what I'm reading," she said smiling. "I used to read more when I was younger..."

"I don't imagine you have a lot of time for it now," said the Chief gesturing with her hand and moving on her seat.

"No, I don't," said the Commander shaking her head. "But you know what? Since space travel will take more time now, without the mass relays, I may join you here," she paused. "I also want to learn turian language, but don't tell Garrus. I just have to remember to get material for that, though."

"I can do that for you," offered Sarah. "You have enough things on your head right now, and it'd take me what, one day? I'm not really doing anything," she paused and added, "That's nice, that you want to surprise him."

"Thank you, Sarah," she paused and added, "By the way, what do you think of Garrus?" inquired Melody, tilting her head slightly, "Or of the rest of the team?"

"Oh, I see," said Williams smiling, "Ash told you about our grandfather, right?" The Commander nodded. "I grew up hearing that the turians were the bad guys, and that each alien species would only care about themselves. But then the Reapers attacked, and fleets from all corners of the galaxy came to our home world and defended it. They might have done it for their own selfish reasons, but it doesn't make it any less laudable. They proved we're all made of the same stuff, so to speak."

"What I learned," said Shepard sighing, "is that you can't judge on biology. You can only judge on an individual basis. There are many humans I'm not exactly proud of. Take for instance the Illusive Man."

"You're right, Shepard," Williams said nodding. "But don't worry, your team seams nice enough. I think we'll get along just fine. Well, except for the prothean, but he made it clear he's not here to make friends. I can't exactly blame him, though. I wonder if I had resisted the death of every single person that was like me in this Universe."

Shepard chatted a little more time with Sarah, and then went to check on Tali on the engineering deck. She found the young quarian running tests on her own QEC system.

"Can you believe it, Shepard?" she asked, without stopping her work. "I'm a real Admiral, and I have a fleet of quarian frigates under my command."

"You were always a real Admiral, Tali," commented Shepard, shrugging.

"Unlike you," she said, adjusting a screw energetically, "that will have the same job as me with the human fleet, but still go by 'Commander'."

"Yeah, I'll let you work," said Melody with half a smile on her face, "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," she added teasing the quarian, and leaving before she could reply. It was just a quick reminder of how long they have known each other, and how young and inexperienced Tali was when the human Commander met her.

When arriving to the cockpit, the Commander heard sounds that could only be described as 'pew, pew!' coming from Joker's mouth. He shut up when he heard his C.O. behind him. EDI was sitting at his right, in her usual chair.

"Having fun?" Shepard asked Joker, amused.

"We were running simulations," informed EDI in her robotic, serious voice. "Joker was afraid that he wasn't in his best shape, after spending months on land."

"Aw," protested the pilot, "you weren't supposed to tell her that, EDI. She's already worried enough about... stuff..."

"I'm not worried about you or your skills, Joker," said Shepard firmly. "I know you're the best." She looked at EDI and commented, "I thought I'd find you working with Samantha at the War Room."

"I am working with Traynor right now," informed EDI.

"Because I'm an AI and I can be everywhere at once," muttered the pilot moving his arms as if he was a clumsy robot.

"We found however," continued EDI ignoring Joker, "that we are making an impact on Cerberus operations. They are moving less resources and transferring funds to other accounts, probably thinking that Kasumi can't hack them."

"So, Hackett's plan's working then?" asked the Commander.

"Yes," replied the AI, nodding, "but it's probably too soon to say if they will stop posing a significant threat."

"Keep on it," Shepard said to both of them, and left the cockpit.

Garrus was in the Comm Room, speaking with the Primarch. Shepard could see the holographic figure of Victus when she entered the place.

"... but not Primarch Jadian," was saying the Primarch of Palaven. "She won't listen to reasons. We might loose the entire Oma Ker colonization cluster."

"Is she that powerful?" asked Garrus, perplexed. "Who's next to her in the line of succession?"

"A bunch of people who can't see me eye to eye," said the hologram of Victus shaking his head. "Numeek Jadian is our best option, and that should tell you everything. At least she's doing what she thinks it's best for her people. She might be blind, but she isn't acting on personal hatred or unfounded prejudices."

"I... see," said Garrus nodding. "Well, I'll think about it and get back to you. Vakarian out."

The hologram faded, and Shepard approached the turian she loved.

"Something wrong?" the Commander asked, concerned.

"Well, most Primarchs received well the news that help is on the way," Garrus explained gesturing with his hands and walking to one side. "Our fleet of frigates is almost ready, and Victus will send it as soon as the ships can fly. There's one Primarch that isn't happy though. I don't know if she doesn't believe the help will get there, or if she cannot wait that long. Everyone else changed their mind about separating their clusters from the Hierarchy, but not Numeek Jadian."

"Can't you contact her?" the Commander asked, massaging the back of her neck. "Try to reason with her?"

"I doubt I can make much of a difference," he said shaking his head. "She'll see me as just another of Victus' men."

"Well," said Melody, tilting her head alternatively to both sides, to ease tension, "perhaps she'll change her mind when she sees the help actually arriving at her door."

"What if by that time," said Vakarian concerned, "she already convinced her people that separating is the best option? Unless..." he kept silent, with his hand on his chin for a while, looking at the QEC. She didn't want to say anything, for fear of interrupting his thought process. "Yes, you're right, that might work. I think we can do enough to strengthen our propaganda machine. We can help the people of Oma Ker and at the same time make her look bad if she keeps her current attitude" he paused. "That's what I'm advising the Primarch. Thank you, Melody."

She wasn't sure how was that her idea, or how did she help Garrus, but she nodded.

"You're busy," she said, heading for the War Room, "I'll leave you to it."

"Wait," he said, taking two steps towards her. "Did you need anything?"

"Just to see your face," she said smiling. She dabbed the blue marking on his flat nose with a finger. "But I'll have time for that."

Shepard took the elevator to deck 5. It was the part of the ship that had suffered the most changes when the Normandy was repaired, because it had to serve as storage for transporting resources back to Earth. Steve Cortez was checking the shuttle.

"Working as always?" asked the Commander, approaching him.

"Look who's talking," he said, taking a step back so he could look at her. "Just performing routine maintenance. Everything's ready for the mission."

She nodded and walked to one side of the shuttle.

"I wonder what we'll find," she commented, inclining to one side to inspect the small craft. "Pazness said there's a lot of resources there, and I believe him, but I don't know what's his definition of 'a lot'."

"You think it won't be enough to help Earth?" Cortez asked, taking a step towards her.

"Big planet, you know?" she said nodding. She stood straight. "Perhaps it's for the best. We'll bring whatever we find in that base and then we'll be out there, scanning planets, busy while the scientists figure out how to fix the mass relays, if they ever can..." she gestured with her hands as she spoke.

"What worries you, Commander?" he asked, genuinely interested. His blue eyes shone in the lights of the deck, that was still open to the hangar.

"Oh, it's nothing, Steve," she said, shaking her head and closing her eyes for a bit.

"You're not that good of a liar as you think," he said smiling and putting a hand lightly on her shoulder. "Perhaps you are with enemies, but not with friends. You can't lie to the people who know you, who care about you."

She let go of a sigh and turned to lean her back on the support of the shuttle.

"Fine..." she said taking a deep breath. "Cities, houses and factories are broken. Most families lost at least a member. But people feel safe. They think they only need to rebuild their houses and their lives."

"And you think the Reapers will come back," he completed, in a soft voice.

"Yes," she said grimacing. "I can't shake the feeling. The Illusive Man thinks the same, and I can't forget his words. So maybe it's better if I don't have time to think about it."

"But even if that happens," tried the pilot, gesturing with his hands, "we'll be better prepared, and..."

"How?" interrupted Shepard, exasperated. "Look at the size of this bay," she signaled the space around them, all corners of the Shuttle Bay. "I have other twenty ships in the fleet, all about this size. How many trips do we need, to bring enough resources to build another Crucible for instance? What if they came now?" she said breathing fast, with a tone of urgency in her powerful voice. At that moment, she realized of her state of mind. She let herself slide down, leaning on the column supporting the shuttle, until she sat on the floor.

Steve Cortez sat in front of her. He didn't say anything, but his company was comforting to her. He was a good friend, a brother even. A member of her family aboard the Normandy.

"I'm fine, Steve," she said to him after a long moment of silence. "We'll be fine."

"Yeah, we will be, Commander," he said nodding.

She got up, and lend him a hand to stand up from the floor. She didn't say a word as she walked to the elevator, back to her cabin.

The day she had to meet with the C.O. of the other frigates, she arrived early, but waited until they were all gathered. She entered the room with Admiral Hackett, and saw twenty human heads above Alliance uniforms, all forty eyes fixed on the two of them. All she knew about those people was the information Hackett had sent her. They all have served in different ships, some of them bigger than frigates, during the war. They had experience in the field, and were all officers but not necessarily of high rank. Two of them outranked her, not by far however. The rest had her rank or below.

Hackett introduced Shepard, although they already knew who she was. He talked about how experienced she was and how following her command was the wisest course of action. What was unsaid, but they all knew, was that they had accepted the mission, which meant that if they didn't obey her they could be accused of insubordination.

When the Admiral was done talking, Shepard took a step forward, and faced the group. She started pacing back and fort, looking at them all the time.

"I don't know much about you," Melody Shepard started, "but I know you fought and bled. I know you lost people you'd rather have here. I know it hurts you to see the state of the galaxy right now, after all you suffered already," she made a pause for effect, and continued. "I know all of this because I'm a soldier like you. I lost people I'll miss all my life. I feel the same things you do. Some of us weren't even born here, but this planet is our cradle, and it hurts to see it like this," she breathed deeply and looked at each of them, all twenty faces of any gender, origin and skin color. "But we don't give up. We didn't give up months ago, and we're still here. We won't give up on this planet until we restore it to its previous glory, and make it even better. What we're about to do out there, compared with what we did, doesn't seem like much. But it is, because we're telling our brothers and sisters that we will never give up, that we're still alive and kicking. We're telling the galaxy that nothing can bring us down!"

"Hooyah!" said one of the officers, and the others joined in cheers of celebration. Some of them lifted their arms, with their hands closed pointing up.

Shepard waited until they were quiet again, and then continued:

"We really don't know what kind of dangers we'll find up there," she pointed up with one finger. "Pirates? Most probably. Hostile lifeforms? There's a good chance of that too. What I'm saying is that you must keep your eyes open and your minds sharp. Don't you think that is just a routine mission and you should relax. Keep your people alert. This won't be as dangerous as giant machines blasting the entire galaxy, but it won't be a drill exercise either," she paused and stood in front of them. "I always kept an open-door policy in my ship. That also goes for you now. If you have anything to say, at any time, just use the QEC installed in your ships." After a brief pause, she asked, "Any questions?"

They all looked at each other, but they kept silent. After a moment of silence, a male officer with skin dark as the night saluted, and the rest followed his example. She saluted them too, and said, "Dismissed." She thought that they were probably still intimidated by her name and the tale of her deeds. They would eventually know the real Commander Shepard.


	35. Ch 35: Official ceremony

Chapter 35: Official ceremony

Among the many beautiful and spacious plains England had to offer for putting a small frigate fleet, the Alliance chose the Fylde, in western Lancashire. Hackett wanted to show the fleet to the world, to humans and the many aliens stranded on Earth. They all needed hope, and the Admiral believed that seeing those many ships all together leaving the planet, could work to lift people's morale.

The plan was to take all the ships to the plain at night, to show them when the broadcast of the event started next morning. The Normandy was the only ship in the fleet with a full crew. The rest only had a ghost crew, that would allow them to operate and to load the resources they found. Each ship had been equipped with machinery to transport heavy materials.

For the first time since the war ended, the large door of the hangar where the Normandy was docked opened. The Commander, Garrus Vakarian and Tali'Zorah were standing in the cockpit, looking out the window as Joker maneuvered the ship out of the hangar. Shepard felt good surrounded by her most loyal companions, the people that had been with her since the beginning and that never turned their backs on her.

"And... we're out," announced Joker as the ship left the hangar and they could see the city of London ahead of them, and above it the bright distant stars. "Don't you wish we didn't have to do a ceremony first, Commander? I mean, we're ready to go and all..."

"Sometimes people need symbols, Joker," said Shepard looking at her pilot and then gazing out the window. They were up in the air and they could only see the tallest buildings that survived the war, all without exception looking like impossible high graves. The ship was flying fast, leaving them behind very soon. She was thankful for that, because she didn't have to look at those structures for long. She didn't have time to think about the people that must have lived there.

"Yeah, right..." said Moreau shaking his head, "but can't they find **new** symbols?"

"Just fly the ship," replied the Commander shaking her own head, with half a smile on her heart shaped face. She patted his shoulder twice. "Nobody will ask you to make a speech."

Shepard was behind Joker's chair. She felt Garrus take her right hand. With her left hand, Melody took Tali's, and the three of them stood there looking out. They didn't speak much until they reached the Fylde.

It was dark, so they couldn't really appreciate the view, but they could see the shapes of other frigates in flight around them. The lights of the ships illuminated a platform structure with bridges that were supposed to connect all the ship's airlocks. There was also a stand a few steps away from the platform, to the left side. In the opposite side of the platform, leaving a wide rectangular space, there was a large gallery with columns and a roof, probably for dignitaries.

The Commander and her two most trusted aliens left the ship together to meet with Admiral Hackett. He was standing in the space between the platform and the gallery, with Diana Allers to one side, and Ian McAllister to the other. Next to the Major stood his wife Fairuza. They were discussing something about cameras.

"When you show the ships, I want a close-up of the Normandy," was saying the Admiral to the journalist.

"And of course of her beautiful Commander," added McAllister smiling and waving at Shepard as she approached with Garrus and Tali. The three of them stopped in front of the Admiral and his little group.

"Don't butter me up," said Melody curving her lips, amused. "It won't work, I won't take you with me."

"I'll test the cameras now, Admiral," said Allers to Hackett. "Good to see you, Commander."

"You too, Allers," replied Shepard with a nod.

The journalist left, to set in position her army of camera drones.

"I don't have much to say, Shepard," said the Admiral when Diana left, "except perhaps one piece of advice: try to catch some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day."

"Yes sir," she said nodding. It was probably easier said than done, but he didn't need to know that.

Hackett saluted and left, to give indications to other Alliance personnel working on final details.

"Anxious to leave?" asked McAllister to the Commander.

"I suppose..." she said shrugging. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I came because you didn't send a picture of you like you promised," joked Ian, and then pointing at Garrus he added, "minus the turian."

"I'm too classy to appear in pictures," said Garrus following the joke.

"Nah," said McAllister shaking his head. "Honestly? What we're doing is slowing Cerberus down and Hackett gave me permission to be here today."

"Leave me one alive for when I come back," joked Shepard tilting her head slightly.

"Yeah, say that to the lady friend of your man here," replied Ian pointing at Garrus with his head. "Boy, are turians brutal or what? They have a well earned reputation..."

"We don't promote to General just anybody," said Garrus in reference to Nari Vilicus.

They spoke for a while, and then Shepard invited the Major and his wife to sleep inside the Normandy that night. Fairuza Yousif was excited, thus the Commander lead the scientist to the ship and gave her a tour once inside.

When Melody woke up next morning, it was raining. Heavy drops of water fell on the glass above her in her cabin. The sunlight came in diffused by the thick clouds. Nevertheless, despite her bad dreams, she was immediately happy when she saw that. It was the first time ever since she woke up from coma that she didn't have the hangar ceiling above her.

It was early, so she decided to let Garrus sleep a little longer. She got up and took a long shower to clear her mind. Then she dressed in her Alliance formal uniform, tied her hair, and walked to the kitchen to fix herself some coffee.

"Can't sleep anymore either?" said Sarah Williams as she entered the mess hall, as greeting. The young woman had a steamy cup in front of her.

"No," admitted the Commander. She saw there was some hot black coffee in the pot, and served herself a cup. She sat in front of the Service Chief and took a sip. "Are you anxious?"

"A little," said Sarah nodding. "I mean, I've been in space before of course. We were born in Sirona. Ever been to that colony?" Shepard denied with her head. "Anyway, we had to move a few times because of my dad's frequent deployments, but we always traveled in civilian ships. Alliance ships were only for officers' families."

Melody nodded, but she had never truly experienced what Sarah was describing. Both her parents had been officers from before she was born, and she was allowed to live inside military ships and travel with them ever since she was a baby. Likewise, her own career had been on the fast track because she had attended a high prestige military school. She really didn't know what life was like for enlisted personnel and their families. She remembered Ashley telling her that their father never rose above the rank of Serviceman third class, because of the stigma left on their family by their grandfather.

"Well, you'll have a privileged view now," commented Shepard. She drank some coffee. "This ship has a lot more windows than her predecessor."

"That's why I slept in the Starboard," said Williams pointing in the general direction of the Starboard Observation Deck. "The couches are comfortable enough," she paused, "Oh, before I forget, I left something for you there, on the bookshelf to the upper left corner. The people in the turian embassy were very cooperative, as if they actually wanted humans to learn their language. I didn't tell them it was for you, of course. I might have to learn a few words myself, I don't want to offend them if I meet them again."

"Thank you, Sarah," said the Commander nodding. She made a mental note to check the material for learning turian language later. "You know, you might want to sleep in a proper bed during this mission. I need you in full shape."

"Are you kidding me?" said the young woman shrugging. "Those couches and recliners are a hundred times better than the 'beds' I had to use during the war. And the noises, Shepard... sometimes I still hear them. The noise the Reapers made when they were about to blast everything with that red ray... Am I crazy? Do you hear it too?" asked Sarah a little concerned.

"Banshees," replied the Commander without hesitation. "I still hear banshees sometimes, when I'm about to get asleep. What happened... is not easy to forget, Sarah," she said shaking her head. "I believe it'll get better with time." She didn't want to tell the young Williams about her vision, not yet at least. She had enough to cope with, and hopefully it wouldn't be necessary to tell her at all.

Some time later other members of the crew joined them in the mess hall. They had breakfast together and talked for a while, until it was time to go out to participate in the ceremonies.

The rain gave the fleet an aspect of new and shinny, and Garrus Vakarian a delightfully annoyed expression. Melody Shepard smiled to herself while looking at him.

She wouldn't have minded getting wet in the rain, but soldiers with umbrellas waited for her and her team outside the airlock. They escorted them down the platform, to the gallery where Admiral Hackett, Diana Allers and other people were waiting. Shepard could see none other than Liara T'Soni sitting on a chair, behind the human journalist.

Before she could do or say anything, Allers came to her encounter, with one of her drone cameras pointing at the Commander and her team entering the gallery.

"And here comes Commander Shepard herself," said Diana looking at the camera. There were other journalists covering the event, but it was obvious that they responded to Allers and that she was running the show when it came to reporting the ceremony. "How do you feel in this historic day, Commander?"

"Full of hope," replied Melody looking at the camera. It wasn't entirely true, but she wanted people to have hope in the future. She wanted to believe that Cortez was right, and that they would be prepared if the Reapers invaded again. "Just by looking at those ships," she said pointing at the fleet, and she could notice the camera taking a shoot of them, "repaired by the quarians, I know that we all can cooperate to write a better future for everyone."

"What about the two Councils, Commander?" asked Allers. The camera captured the Commander and her entire team behind her, supporting her as always. Two quarians, a turian, a krogan, a prothean, an AI in a robotic body, and several humans loyal to her. "Why couldn't all species create one large Council?"

"We might not agree on how exactly we want to shape that future," said Shepard. She didn't like the question, but she knew that it was probably already in many people's minds. She also knew that, unlike al-Jilani, Allers didn't have bad intentions and didn't want to make the Alliance look bad. She just asked the kind of things that were already a concern for many people, probably in order to clarify those issues. "However, we agree that we're all brothers and sisters. That's why the Councils are advancing on the terms for a permanent peace treaty, and why the batarians and humans signed peace already. What happened changed us forever, but now we know we can achieve the impossible when we all work together. Quoting Service Chief Sarah Williams," she said signaling the young woman, as the camera captured her image, "the most recent member of my team: 'We're all made of the same stuff'."

"Thank you, Commander," said Diana, and then her attention shifted entirely to Sarah, "I believe you're the sister of war hero Ashley Williams..." the journalist said to Sarah. She obviously wanted to interview the youngest Williams, and Shepard stopped paying attention. She walked directly to where Liara was. She saw no cameras pointing in that direction.

"Liara," she said when she stood in front of her, and the asari got up. "You came."

"I'm sorry I was mad at you, Shepard," said T'Soni looking contrite. She hugged the Commander and whispered in her hear, "You were right, the salarians are up to something. I'll tell you what I learn about it, I'll use one of the QEC connected to your ship."

Shepard just nodded as they separated from their hug. They stood in front of each other, but they couldn't speak much in front of the crowd. Anyway they wouldn't have had much time for it, because everybody wanted to greet Shepard or to wish her good luck.

There was a face however that the Commander recognized, and that she didn't think she would see there.

"And here comes the queen of the girl scouts to save the day again," said none other than Jack, appearing in front of her with her arms crossed over her chest but a wide smile on her face. She looked much like the last time she saw her in Purgatory, when they shared a drink and a dance. The ironic part of it was that Shepard had rescued the young biotic from a prison also named Purgatory. Shepard had managed to stay away from the cameras, but it wasn't very difficult because Allers had a lot of people to show and interview.

"Jack!" Shepard greeted opening her arms. She didn't expect the biotic to come to her embrace, of course, but it was a gesture to show that she was actually happy to see her. "Still teaching?"

"Yup," replied Jack nodding. "Still fucking that turian?" she added pointing with the thumb at Garrus, that was a few steps away talking with the Primarch and other turians that went to presence the event.

"Well, there's a lot more to Garrus and I than that," she said approaching the biotic ex convict, and added in a lower voice, chuckling, "but yes, pretty much."

"Only you have stomach for that," said Jack chuckling. "But hey, good luck out there. You're gonna need it, because I won't be there to save your ass."

Coming from Jack, those words actually counted as a hug. Shepard decided she would take them. There wasn't so much she could get from Jack, considering the hard life she had. Just seeing her smiling was a good change, but hearing her wish her luck showed her the biotic cared for her, and that was priceless.

A few minutes after that, the New Council came out of a shuttle. Shepard could see the journalists covering their arrival, and asking them questions. They sat in the gallery, on chairs already prepared for them. Wrex was there in representation of Bakara. Shepard heard the old krogan tell Allers that it would have been expensive to move the QEC that connected to Tuchanka just for one day, but that he was fully authorized to represent his future wife during that ceremony.

As soon as she had the chance, Shepard cornered Wrex outside the view of the cameras. She stood in front of the large krogan, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Future wife?" she asked, with half a smile on her face. "You sure are full of surprises, Urdnot Wrex!"

"Well, yes..." said the krogan looking a little embarrassed. "We don't have such a concept as wedding, not like you or the turians. But I figured, since Bakara and I have a baby together, and we plan to have more... we might as well be committed to each other. I just was too lazy to invent a word for that. So I asked her yesterday, when the Primarch confirmed me he can get me to Tuchanka. She said yes. I hope I don't regret it."

"Don't be a fool," Shepard said shaking her head, "of course you won't."

"What about yourself and Vakarian?" he asked mischievously, patting her right shoulder. "You don't even have to invent a tradition, both your species have it right there."

"We'll see, Wrex," she replied, but for some reason she got nervous with the idea. She loved Garrus, but she didn't know if she was ready for such a step. She had married already and it went wrong. She certainly didn't want to rush and ruin what Garrus and her had together.

The krogan was probably going to insist, but at that moment it was announced that Admiral Hackett was presiding a ceremony. It was still pouring rain, and the sunlight was gray and dim. Nevertheless, the Admiral stood on the stand to the left of the aligned ships. He was protected by an umbrella held by a young soldier behind him, but it did little. The rain was so heavy, that he was soaked anyway.

Many people moved to the large empty rectangle of land between the platform and the gallery, in front of the stand. Most ignored the rain and just stood there, looking at Hackett. Commander Shepard was one of those people. Her team joined her side. Garrus took place right beside her. He was holding an umbrella with his three fingered hand.

The Admiral first asked for a moment of silence for all the fallen, the people who gave their lives so the rest could have a future and rebuild the galaxy. Everyone lowered their heads and respectfully kept silent, including the geth platforms that were present. Some people held a small personal item that had belonged to their beloved ones, gone in the war. Shepard realized painfully that she didn't have anything from her father.

After the moment of silence, Hackett started naming the heroes. There were medals for them, whether they were alien or human, dead or alive. Kahlee Sanders accepted the medal in the name of Admiral David Anderson. Major Kirrahe accepted Mordin Solus' medal. Shepard was given another medal herself. Joker was given a medal for destroying the Reaper that was blocking the path to the beam that transported to the Citadel. Moments after that, Hackett named Miranda Lawson, and announced that her sister Oriana was receiving the medal in her name. Shepard was surprised to see Ori. She hadn't heard from her in all that time, but probably she was hiding from Cerberus. She thought that the Alliance was in better position to protect her now.

Then came the speeches. Hackett talked about hope, and urged all survivors to believe that everything that was lost could be rebuilt, and every life that had ended would be a candle to light the future of all sentient beings in the galaxy. Then he gave the floor to Shepard, who spoke about unity and peace. She named her own mixed crew as an example of cooperation, and spoke about all the help she received from people of all species, that made possible they all lived and stood there together that day.

After the speeches, Shepard was summoned again to the gallery. She walked there, followed by her team. She was requested to stand before the representatives of the New Council and to step forward. She looked alternatively at the six of them. There was Kaidan Alenko, her friend and comrade. Malen Talyk, the turian skilled politician. Din Korlack, the first volus she had ever met and who had fought long in the political arena for the rights of his people. Admiral Shala'Raan vas Rannoch, a true friend of Tali and a brave defender of her people. Urdnot Wrex in place of Urdnot Bakara, two krogan that more than her friends she considered part of her family. And finally, Representative, the geth prime that stepped forward to represent his people in the New Council. He had indeed painted a white diagonal band across his chest as he said he would. Shepard noticed other geth had painted distinctive small marks on their hulls. They were starting to recognize their individuality.

"Shepard-Commander," said Representative moving his head with a single light in her direction. "We have arrived to a consensus. We would like you to be the first appointed Spectre of this Council."

Malen Talyk spoke next: "You will be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of this New Council."

Shepard recognized the words immediately. She had heard them more than three and a half years ago, but for her it hadn't been that much time. She had been dead for two years and in a coma for five months. "_Let's hope I have better luck this time_," she thought to herself, amused on the inside, but serious and solemn on the outside.

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen," said Din Korlack. They were obviously establishing a tradition by using the same words, but she didn't know if those were the words used to appoint all Spectres by the previous Council, or just the words they had used when they designated her. Kaidan would remember those words in any case. He had been at her right side, and Garrus at the left.

"Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle;" said Raan, "those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol," said Kaidan, and Shepard thought it was only appropriated that he would say those words, because he was one of the most idealists persons she knew. "The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."

"Spectres bear a great burden," said Wrex in his powerful krogan voice. "They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold." Although that speech was perhaps a little too formal for the big krogan, he didn't seem to have any trouble recalling the words that he obviously had to memorize.

"We will feel honored if you accept," finished Talyk solemnly.

"I am honored myself for your offer," replied the Commander, looking alternatively at the six of them, "and I accept."

"Acknowledged," said Representative with one brief nod.

After that, Admiral Hackett announced that the fleet was about to leave Earth. All the Alliance and quarian crews started walking back to the platform to enter their respective ships. The Normandy's crew was the last.

Before Shepard climbed up the platform, Hackett called her. The cameras were not directly capturing them, they were offering a more general view of the ships and crews from above and afar.

"Take care of yourself," requested the Admiral. "And take care of her," he added pointing at the Normandy. "The new QEC systems cost about half the ship."

"I bet that the credits came from Kasumi's hacking abilities," ventured Shepard.

"That's true," admitted Hackett nodding, "but still..." He didn't have an umbrella over him anymore, and the rain poured heavily on both of them and on anyone else on the plains.

"Then it means that Cerberus paid for the entire ship," quipped Melody with half a smile, "**and** for her Commander."

Hackett opened his mouth to say something, and then he closed it without saying anything. That fact amused Shepard, because Admiral Hackett was not a man that usually didn't know how to reply. Of course, on the outside she kept the same professional appearance she normally had before him.

"Good luck," he finally muttered and walked away.

Once inside the Normandy, Shepard went to the cockpit. She was dripping, but she didn't mind. After all, the ship was now correctly wired. There weren't any more blue wires crossing the floor in random points.

Joker was watching the broadcast of the event from a small screen in front of him. The pilot was reasonably dry. When EDI informed him that the bridge had been lifted, he started maneuvering to lift the vessel up in the air again. Shepard, Garrus, Tali and Sarah were also standing in the cockpit behind the pilot and EDI. They were watching the transmission and the window in front of them.

On the small screen, they could see the exterior of their own ship getting higher and higher in the air, and other Alliance and quarian ships also getting smaller from the ground. On the window they stopped seeing the ground very soon. They saw heavy rain, and then thick dark clouds. On the screen the ships got lost in the clouds. On the window they kept seeing the cloud for a while, and then the clear blue sky. The sky became darker with each passing moment, as they felt the ship getting further away from the ground.

The ship turned, moving away from Earth's gravity field. Finally, looking out the window they could see only the small white dots of a million stars. That was the landscape of Shepard's childhood, the kind of scenery she had seen all of her life.


	36. Ch 36: Back to the immensity

Chapter 36: Back to the immensity

In front of her eyes, through the window, Shepard could see the space around them. They had no view other than the distant stars, that seemed cold but were actually huge infernos floating in empty space. Spheres of fire in orbit around the center of the galaxy, which Shepard had to visit herself to destroy the Collector's base.

There was no noise other than the soft hum of the engine. There they were, inside a small vessel with cutting edge technology, defying the stars. That was the definition of 'home' for Melody Shepard. She felt relaxed, at ease.

Each of the sentient beings inside the Normandy's cockpit were also staring out the window, at the blackness of space dotted with stars. Garrus, Tali, Sarah and Joker were probably lost in their own thoughts. EDI was sitting at her usual spot at the right of the pilot, but with her being an AI, and a curious AI on top of that, there was no way of guessing what she could be thinking.

After a few minutes of absolute silence, Chief Williams finally spoke:

"Tali," said the young human looking at the quarian, "seeing stars like this is normal for the quarians, right? I mean, until they fix the mass relays and you can come back to Rannoch..."

"It's also normal for Shepard," said Garrus gazing at the Commander, echoing her own thoughts.

"Stop reading my mind, Vakarian," Melody requested with a soft tone, half smiling. She wasn't serious of course. She didn't want him to stop reading her. She liked the way he knew her, the way he could anticipate her or understand her mood. "_Home_," she thought again. "_And I share my bed with this tall guy over here. Wouldn't change a thing._"

"Aw, so sweet," stepped in Joker, without looking away from his control panel. He touched something on his screen. "They're made for each other. Except for, you know, the chirality thing, and the different finger count. Oh, and the spikes," he concluded as if he had just thought of it.

"Moreau," said the Commander amused, shifting her weight to one leg, "you don't have the authority to even **talk** about biology issues when love is involved. Don't get me started."

"In answer to your question, Sarah," said Tali pretending to be annoyed by the long interruption, "quarian ships don't look like the Normandy. Generally we don't have so many windows. But civilians stayed back on Rannoch. The babies being born now will grow up with the sky of our homeworld over their heads."

"Babies?" asked Garrus moving a foot back to shift his weight. Shepard identified his tone as the one he used when he was about to joke. "Is that why you brought your boyfriend on board? Didn't want the civilians to have the advantage?"

"Not talking to you, Vakarian," replied Tali feigning irritation, "and I still have a shotgun."

Garrus leaned back a bit and put a hand extended in front of him, as if saying '_fine_', but he didn't add any comments. For a moment, they all stayed silent in the cockpit.

"So, Commander," said Joker breaking the silence. He swiveled his head a bit in her direction. "Where to?" he asked amused. He was obviously teasing her.

Shepard didn't reply. She just looked at him, staying calm and serious. Her features were relaxed, her arms crossed over her chest. Even then she commanded an undeniable authority.

"Alright, alright!" the pilot finally said, shaking his hands as if he was erasing something in the air. "Coordinates are set already."

"I didn't say anything," protested Shepard, shrugging.

"You're scarier when you don't," explained Joker. Tali and Garrus nodded at the same time, agreeing with the pilot.

"I don't know why you say that," the Commander said shaking her head and dropping her arms to her sides. "Anyway, people, there isn't much to see from now on. I'll go take a shower and put dry clothes on."

"Great idea," said Sarah looking at her own soaked uniform, grabbing and edge of it.

When Shepard got out of the shower, she saw Garrus standing outside of the bathroom in their cabin. He had removed his armor and had only the suit he used beneath it.

"My turn to use the shower," he announced.

"Why didn't you get in with me?" Shepard asked amused, crossing her arms over the towel wrapped around her body.

"I didn't want to..." the turian started, stumbling with the words.

"To see your Commanding Officer naked?" she finished for him, clearly amused. She enjoyed teasing him like that very much, because of his reactions. "You should have thought of that before."

"No, I didn't mean that," he quickly replied, shaking his hands and taking one step back. "I always want to see you naked. No, wait, I didn't mean that either..." he fumbled, and she felt her heart tearing from the love she felt for him. He was a deadly turian sniper too cute for words. He could be awkward one minute and self-confident the next. He could joke about the most serious things, and be serious when everybody else was having fun. She realized that she really liked those seeming contradictions, and that she could see through them probably like nobody else in the galaxy could.

"Alright Garrus, get in," she said pointing at the bathroom's door with her head. "Take your shower. I'll decide in a minute if I'm clean enough."

He obviously took the hint, because she had never seen him undress so fast. He got inside the bathroom and the door closed behind him. She waited exactly one minute, then dropped her towel and joined him.

An hour later they were both sitting on the couch in their cabin, fully dressed and reading a datapad each. Inside the Normandy, Shepard normally used her N7 hoodie and a pair of black pants. Garrus was wearing casual clothes, which allowed her to lean on his chest as she read. She had both her feet over the couch, with one of his legs at her side. His other foot was on the floor, next to the coffee table.

She was reading about technical specifications of the other ships in her fleet, but after a while her mind started wandering off. Garrus obviously noticed that she wasn't paying attention anymore, because he asked:

"What are you thinking?" He took the datapad from her hand and left both of them on the table. With his now free arms, he surrounded her by the waist.

"About that promotion that I turned down," she answered honestly. She took both his hands in hers, and pressed her back a little more on his chest. "I don't know, Garrus. I didn't want Hackett to put me in charge of this fleet. I even got mad at him. But you know what? Now I don't totally hate it."

"Think you could get the promotion if you tell him that you changed your mind?" he asked in his deep double-toned voice.

"I suppose..." she said shrugging slightly, "but I still don't think I want that. I like how 'Commander Shepard' sounds. When I entered the Eagle Alliance Academy, I told myself I wouldn't stop until I was an Admiral, but a lot of things changed since I was fourteen... I guess the war made me less competitive."

"You, less competitive?" practically shrieked Garrus, and he started laughing. She swiveled her head to give him a glare of rebuke. "I think it's precisely the opposite," he continued, ignoring the way she was looking at him. "You're probably the first Commander in the Alliance who tells Generals and Admirals what to do. If you ask me, that's your way of telling everybody that you don't even need the rank. That you've earned your name and the right to do what you want, or rather, what you think it's best regardless of their opinion."

Shepard looked at the turian, serious and silent. There was nothing she could say, because he was right and he had put words to the way she felt. He looked back at her, directly to her eyes.

"When did you get to know me?" she finally asked. She planted a kiss on his cheek and then relaxed again, leaning on his chest as she had been before. He still held her with his arms, and she placed her hands over his once more.

"You mean, how could I know you if you were trying to hide your deepest feelings?" he asked chuckling slightly. "I don't know... same way that you knew I wasn't being myself when I wanted to kill Sidonis."

"Right," she simply said, caressing his hands.

They remained silent for a few more minutes, just content to be with each other. Finally she got up and went to check her private messages.

There was a message from Diana Allers offering her a daily subscription to the Alliance News Network. She accepted it and read the next message. It came from Grothan Pazness. The batarian leader had changed his title from 'Governor' to 'Premier', ignoring the previous title system of the Hegemony.

The message itself contained a detailed list of the resistance Shepard was going to find in the pirate base they were headed to, and a map. She could see it was a well guarded base, and perhaps it could have been a challenge for a less experienced crew. For them, it was an opportunity for Grunt to have fun.

"Come see this," said the Commander to Garrus, who was still sitting on the couch and had resumed his reading.

The turian got up and walked to where she was. He looked at the map, and immediately pointed at something that caught his attention.

"AA turrets?" he asked, signaling a spot on the map with one of his fingers.

"So it seems," she said nodding and shrugging slightly, "but we've disabled many of those before..."

"No, I mean..." Garrus said shaking his head, and she recognized his expression of '_you're missing the point_', "this is a pirate base, right? Pirates. Very successful if they really gathered as many resources as Pazness says, but... they seem to be a little too organized. I don't think we're dealing with ordinary pirates here."

"Good catch, detective!" she said a little excited, smiling. "Yeah, we'll have to be careful."

"Something's not right," he insisted and placed himself in front of the map, effectively moving her from where she was standing. She decided to step aside and let him work. His time in C-Sec made him good catching leads, and he had good instincts.

Shepard left her cabin, and found Samantha Traynor working at her usual spot in the CIC.

"Have you got a minute?" the Commander asked to the young specialist.

"Of course, Commander," said Traynor, turning to look at her. "What can I do for you?"

"Tell me about the new Comm system," Shepard requested gesturing with her hand. "I know I should have asked before, but..."

"Oh, you will love the new features," said the young woman sounding really excited. "In the Comm Room you'll find a regular QEC between the Normandy and each ship, human and quarian. Then there is another highly experimental multi-node system connecting the entire fleet. Well, actually it consists of clusters of four nodes in tandem... but you're not interested in technical details," the specialist interrupted herself.

"I wish to know what can I do with it," Shepard said honestly. She loved the enthusiasm the young woman had for communications and technology, but the Commander was a very practical woman.

"The multi-node system can transmit audio only," explained Samantha. "You can contact all forty ships at the same time, or select what ships to address. You can also select only the human fleet or the quarian. Since the system is highly experimental, I do not advice transmitting confidential information with it, though."

"Can the other ships communicate with the rest?" asked Shepard shifting her weight to one leg.

"Well, when you are broadcasting," replied Traynor, "the other C.O.s can speak through the system, and everyone in the network you opened will hear. They can speak to each other but using the Normandy as a node, thus you have to authorize their communications."

"Could we authorize them on default?" asked Melody gazing at the door that led to the Comm Room.

"Yes, immediately, Commander," said Samantha nodding. "I'll adjust the settings right away."

The young woman left, leaving Shepard standing on the CIC. There were other soldiers there, people the Alliance had selected to be on her crew but that she didn't know by name. They all had seemed impressed by the Commander ever since they entered the ship. She decided she would give them more time to relax about her, until they learned that they could approach her at any time.

She remembered Ysel had told her he had made a few changes to the galaxy map. She decided to explore those changes at that moment.

When she stood on the small platform in front of the map, she had to grab herself on the railing because of the raw emotions that rushed to her. Her mind evoked when it was David Anderson who stood there on the first Normandy, giving indications of where to go to Joker. Then she remembered the first time she took that place, after she was made Spectre. Shepard recalled that she didn't want to be there, that she felt like she was stealing his ship. She had no choice however, because their mission was a lot more important than a few people and a single vessel. However, after her detention because of the incident in batarian space, when Traynor had informed her that Anderson was retrofitting the Normandy to use her as his mobile command center, Shepard had felt that Anderson was trying to take **her** ship. She had no right to feel that, of course, and at that moment that she was standing there in front of the galaxy map, reminiscing the past, she would have gladly relinquished the Normandy if that would have brought Anderson back from the dead.

She shook her head to clean her mind from the thoughts, and focused instead on the galaxy map. She noticed that there was a new inbuilt browser, with filters and everything. Just to play she typed the names of a few stars and planets she had visited. She could access the full information about them, what system and cluster they belonged to and what other systems and planets could be found nearby. There was an option to show the star or planet on the map, or travel there directly. The system also estimated distances and travel times between different points, with and without the mass relays active. There was also an entry where she could write her own notes about a certain destination, and she could protect the notes with a code. The Commander also noticed that Ysel added to the map all the information the quarians had about systems that she hadn't visited, and uploaded the names of every known planet in systems she hadn't fully explored.

Shepard didn't know how much time she had spent there, opening systems just to read about planets and their climate, population or mining activities. She was interrupted by the voice of her pilot, speaking through the comm in the ship.

"Commander?" said the voice of Joker, coming from above her. "Message coming in... from Liara T'Soni. She's using the QEC in Javik's room."

"Patch me through," said Melody heading for the elevator.

* * *

**NOTE**: Like I said many times, I won't include content from DLCs in this story, except for From Ashes. That goes also for Citadel DLC. However that last DLC gave a lot of insight about many characters, and I might use that if it doesn't contradict things I already said in previous chapters. Oh, and the DLC had a lot of funny moments, but I'll keep the tone I'm giving to this story. Don't worry, there won't be any spoilers. But why should I worry anyway? You haven't played Citadel yet? Why not? Go and play it! Seriously, it's the best Mass Effect DLC **ever**, I mean even better than the Lair of the Shadow Broker, and that's a lot to say!


	37. Ch 37: Blue news

Chapter 37: Blue news

"Liara said I could stay," was the first sentence Shepard heard when she entered the room that had been Miranda's office, then Liara's and now Javik's. It was good hearing the prothean calling Liara by her name, instead of 'asari' or 'Liara-asari'. He added however, in his usual derisive tone, "Does it mean I could be kicked out of my room? How many people will call you using this QEC, Commander?"

"Don't worry, Javik," said Shepard shaking her head. "Not many people even know about this node. Most will use the one in the Alliance's base."

She stepped forward to stand in front of the flickering image of her blue friend. The QEC was in the same place where Liara used to have her Intel Terminal and Glyph. Next to it, where the Shadow Broker's servers used to be, there was one of the rectangular sinks filled with water that the prothean had in his old room. It seemed that he had resumed his obsession with cleanliness. In front of it, where Liara used to have monitors and normally stood to work, there was a large desk with a terminal, and a single chair. Shepard noticed that Javik didn't change the bedroom at the back of the room at all.

"I'm sorry I used this comm, Shepard," said Liara lowering her head a bit to one side, as she usually did when she was embarrassed. "Using the Alliance's would have risen too many questions that I'm not ready to answer just yet. In fact, there's no one around me. All researchers already went home. Fairuza Yousif gave me a pass code."

"What's so urgent and secret, Liara?" asked the Commander crossing her arms over her chest. She was leaning slightly back, her head tilted to one side, her blue eyes fixed on the translucent image.

"Like I told you during the ceremony," said the asari raising her gaze to look directly at the human, "I have new information regarding the Salarian Union. I happen to have an agent on Sur'Kesh, highly connected with the people making the decisions right now. Just as you said, there's a research project, government funded, seeking for a virus that could kill all krogan."

"That's bad," commented Shepard, but she didn't sound surprised at all.

"There's more," continued Liara gesturing with her hands. "It appears that the project isn't new at all, they just intensified their research when you cured the genophage. Now they already have an airborne virus that killed a hundred percent of the exposed krogan. They're now researching how to make the virus live longer."

"And they dare say that we should be afraid of the **krogan**?" said Shepard outraged. She dropped her arms to her sides and her hands involuntarily clenched into fists. She took a step forward towards the comm. "But this means they had 'test subjects' on Sur'Kesh."

"Indeed," replied Liara lowering her head just slightly so that the image of her yes in the QEC shone. "Captured mercenaries, probably lured with the promise of a big reward. They keep them in secret facilities. The average population of Sur'Kesh don't know about this. But there's more, Shepard."

"Tell me," requested the Commander, trying to keep her anger on hold. Her breathing was faster than usual.

"The Dalatrass has recently ordered to start similar projects with turian and human tissues," said the asari directly, in her calm and harmonic voice. "Luckily they don't have any living turians or humans to experiment with, but..."

"But they could extrapolate what they've already learned from the krogan," completed Javik looking at them both, calm and cynical. "I told you, Commander, salarian liver was a delicacy in my cycle. Now that you know about this, you shouldn't withhold from trying such an exquisite plate."

"Not all salarians are like this, Javik," said Shepard harshly. "Many would be just as furious and homicidal as I feel right now, if they knew about this."

"That's why I needed to talk to you, Shepard," said Liara, "I could stop this just by manipulating information. If the average salarian knew what's going on, they'd stop the Dalatrass and her people themselves. But it could lead to civil war..." the asari paused and put a hand on her own forehead. "I have so much power, and right now, I really fear it. Remember when I told you I could start a war in ten minutes? I... Shepard, I could..." she sounded too distressed to continue.

"You're too soft," said Javik before Shepard could speak, cutting the air with a sharp movement of his arm and extended hand. "Now it's krogan, then turians, then humans and next thing you know they're killing asari. You can't be weak now, Liara, it's you or them."

"No, Javik, I don't think so," said Shepard shifting all her hostility to the prothean, in lack of a real enemy in front of her that she could punch. She turned to face him directly, her eyes shining with a frightening intensity. "They're just afraid, scared to death if you will, and I get it. Suddenly all military strong species band together, and they include the krogan, of all people," she stopped to take a long breath. "I mean, Javik! Fucking get your head out of your **ass** for a second and think about it. Turians have the strongest fleet and they're disciplined right from the cradle. Quarians have the largest fleet. Geth? We had to face them as enemies already, we know how deadly they are. And humans? They never trusted us. Hell, not even I trust a lot of humans myself. So for one minute just put yourself in their shoes, think why they're reacting like this and what could you do to make them believe peace is possible. You keep saying how primitive we all are compared to the great Prothean Empire, but damn, you're the most primitive of us all!"

For a moment, the air inside the room was so dense that it could be cut with a knife. Nobody dared say a word in front of angry Commander Shepard, not even Liara that wasn't physically inside the Normandy. After a couple minutes that felt like hours, Javik opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Commander," said the prothean, and perhaps for the first time since they awakened him from his chamber, he sounded sincere. "Would you feel better if you punched me?"

"No," replied Shepard, letting her hands get open and adopting a little more relaxed posture, "but thank whatever high entity you pray to, that I'm not a biotic. I believe I wouldn't have been able to control myself if I was."

"You raised some very interesting points however, Shepard," commented Liara, her expression more relaxed, her active eyes shining with intelligence. "I think I could work with that. The only thing that worries me is if we have enough time."

"Don't you have agents that could sabotage the research facilities?" asked the Commander, crossing her arms again.

"Unfortunately, no," informed the asari shaking her head slowly. "I have very few agents on the salarian home planet, and they aren't the combat type."

"But they still have live krogan, right?" asked Javik taking a step forward. It was a surprise for Shepard that the prothean actually showed some interest in solving a 'primitive' problem, but perhaps he did listen to her for once. "And your agents obviously can spy without being seen. They could free the krogan and tell them to destroy whatever needs to be destroyed."

"No," said Shepard categorically, shaking her head. "Something like that would further the image of the krogan as mindless brutes, assuming they're lucky enough to destroy the facility without getting infected with the lethal virus."

"Still you're right about one thing, Javik," said Liara in her soft velvet voice. "Freeing the remaining krogan is a priority. I think I can arrange that right away. Perhaps I could create a secret group later, something like 'The friends of Mordin'. I don't have agents that could sabotage a research facility now, but that doesn't mean I can't get them. Thank you, Shepard, if I hadn't talked to you I could have created a lot of unnecessary pain."

"Glad I could help," said the Commander nodding and dropping her arms to her sides.

"There is one more thing," said the asari, her image through the QEC gesturing with her hand, "but don't worry, it's not that urgent. It's just a little scientific mystery I wanted to discuss with you."

"If you think I could be of any assistance..." said the Commander in a tone of clear disbelief.

"This information crossed my desk," continued Liara tilting her head slightly, ignoring the human's tone, "and I went to check it with Fairuza. She confirmed that some colleagues of her made similar findings."

"What did they find?" asked Shepard, intrigued.

"Ah, it's about..." the asari hesitated on the words, "You see, scientists have a way to measure distance between galaxies, that they call the 'redshift'. The more distant a galaxy is from us, the more the light it emits shifts to the red part of the spectrum."

"OK, following you so far," said the Commander nodding. "More distant, redder. Got it."

"Correct," continued Liara smiling. She took a hand to her chin. "That's how astronomers made a map of the universe around us. We know that the universe is expanding, but it's a very slow process. You don't expect to see changes in the spectrum of other galaxies over the course of a few years, not even a few centuries," she made a pause. "Only that, ever since the attack of Sovereign to the Citadel, some astronomers reported that a couple galaxies were... slightly closer to us. The spectrum of those galaxies was a little more blue. At first nobody believed them. Other scientists dismissed their claims as error in their instruments, and that was plausible because the change was barely noticeable. The thing is that as years passed by, more and more scientists are getting the same readings, and it's happening with more galaxies. Fairuza told me that a group of astronomers focused their telescope on one particular galaxy that hadn't changed its redshift from its registered value. Then it shifted to blue over the course of a month, until the spectrum stabilized and hadn't shown any other changes since."

"That's... strange," commented Shepard massaging the back of her neck. "Do they have an explanation for that?"

"Not at the moment," replied Liara gesturing with her hands.

"You think it's the Reapers?" speculated the Commander. "I mean, I don't know how could something like **that** be their fault, but at this point..."

"Shepard, I know this sounds strange because it started happening when Sovereign attacked," said the asari shaking her head, "but I believe that not every mystery in the universe has 'Reapers' as the answer."

"I know, I know..." said the human frustrated, gesturing with her hands. Seconds later she added, "Wait, are the galaxies... colliding?"

"No, don't worry," replied Liara hastily, shaking her hands. "The redshift change was very minor and it's stable at a different value. Even if the rest of the galaxies were to approach more, they're too far away to be concerned about it. Plus the color is still red. That means the galaxies are still getting away from us," she paused. "Anyway, I thought I should tell you. You know a lot of people and you're always asking questions. You could come up with something people aren't asking themselves."

"I'll keep an eye open," Shepard said with one short nod.

"I don't have anything else to inform you, Shepard," said the asari, "and again, I'm sorry that I was mad at you and Garrus."

"It's fine, Liara," said the Commander gesturing with one hand. "I don't know how Garrus feels about the incident though. You'll have to speak with him. And Liara... do you miss the Normandy? We'll be back on Earth in a few weeks, and I could arrange..."

"She'll have to find a new room," interrupted Javik.

"Thank you, Shepard," said the asari smiling and shaking her head slowly, "but I don't think I want to move all my equipment again. I like Earth, and having an actual sky over me. I'm not like you."

"Then I'll keep finding your deepest secrets," said the prothean, and was he... smiling? "from the dead cells you left all over the room."

"Be my guest, Javik," said the asari softly, with a hint of a smile on her face.

"And Liara?" said the Commander in a relaxed tone, with half a smile, "Next time, contact me with good news, will you? Or we could just talk for no reason at all."

"I will, Shepard," she replied nodding. "I should go back to my work now."

As the image of Liara faded in the QEC circle, Javik moved to stand in front of Shepard.

"Commander," the prothean said moving his head, "I know that I still have to learn a lot about this cycle, but please don't call me a primitive again."

"Yeah," she said nodding, a half smile shaping her lips, "sorry 'bout that, but you were being impossible. I agreed with you about Liara's attitude on Thessia, but killing an entire species is never the answer unless you have no choice. Killing should always be the last option."

"I'll think about it," promised Javik with a short nod and an undecipherable shine on his multiple eyes.

"I leave you to it," said the Commander heading for the door.

The thing about Javik – she thought as she was heading for her cabin – was that she never knew if the alien was developing true empathy, or if he just said the kind of things that were expected from him so that people would leave him alone. Shepard tried for a minute to imagine herself frozen for fifty thousand years, just to awake and be surrounded by evolved monkeys or dolphins. Then she realized she didn't make a good example, because she already cared about any kind of sentient beings. She couldn't imagine how it felt being born in a society defined by war, that had to trade empathy for survival.

She was lost in those thoughts when she opened her door. For that reason she almost tripped with Garrus, who was sitting on the floor with his legs stretched. The turian was drawing marks on a gigantic three dimensional holographic image of the pirate base, floating right in between her private terminal and the bathroom's door.

"Look at this, Melody," he said from the floor, signaling a red mark on the map. She sat beside him and looked where he was indicating. "This building is labeled 'Armory'," he explained signaling a large structure. "But this small square over here," he pointed at another building, significantly smaller, "is 'Food storage'. Now consider the months since the war ended, the size of this warehouse and the number of pirates Pazness says we'll find. Run a simple algorithm based on the volume of the 'Food storage' and you'll find that they all starved, no matter how high the building is. There has to be something else on the map that Pazness isn't showing us. Not to mention, the layout of this base is the least efficient you could come up with. But let's forget about that for a minute. For all we know, batarians could be stupid when it came to designing a base. It's the food thing that intrigues me. In his message, Pazness seems to be sure we'll find alive and robust guys, not a pile of starved corpses."

"Perhaps they have a farm outside the perimeter or something?" Shepard guessed shrugging.

"A farm? On a pirate base?" he said using his ironic tone of voice.

"Well, if you plan to keep people living there guarding the place," she said not sounding very sure of herself, "it'd make sense..."

"Yes," the turian said nodding, "but a farm needs farmers. When was the last time you saw a pirate growing veggies? Nobody could anticipate that the mass relays would stop working. It makes more sense to just ship food to your pirate base on regular intervals."

"I don't know, Garrus," she said shaking her head and staring at the square labeled 'food storage' on the map. "Batarians use slaves for everything. Perhaps they shipped a few to keep a farm in the base."

"Which again makes the place a little too organized," commented Vakarian gesturing with his hands, "if it wasn't for the shitty layout."

For a moment they didn't speak, each concentrated on the shiny holographic map. Finally, the Commander spoke.

"We'll know when we get there," she said getting up from the floor in one jump. She extended her hand to help him stand, and he took it. "Right now we can only speculate. I'll tell EDI to run more analysis in the morning."

The turian nodded and walked to the holographic projector to turn it off. The map vanished, leaving only the regular lights in the cabin.

"I spoke with Liara," Shepard commented, walking down the stairs that led to the sofas and their bed.

"What did she say?" asked Garrus intrigued. He followed her and placed a hand on her waist when he reached her.

"I'll tell you in the morning," said the Commander turning to face the turian, with a partial smile on her face. "Right now, think we could just lay on the bed and talk about something else? Something that doesn't involve the things that could kill us, or the things we could kill?"

"I think I could manage to do that," he said taking her hand and leading her to the bed.

They cuddled on the bed, looking up at the window above them and the stars. A comfortable silence set between them. They didn't need to speak, they just needed each other.

"Garrus?" said Shepard after a long while, looking up at the infinite universe through the ceiling window.

"Huh?" asked Vakarian, a little startled by her voice because the silence had been too deep and lengthy.

"Tell me about the spirits," she requested in a soft tone, swiveling her head a little so she could meet his eyes.

"I thought you weren't interested in religion," he commented, pulling her a little closer.

"Normally I wasn't, but a religion with a bar in heaven?" the Commander said smiling. "I think I'm in. Tell me more."


	38. Ch 38: The distress signal

Chapter 38: The distress signal

"It turns out," commented Shepard, frustrated, "that you can't learn an alien language in twelve days." She was sitting on one of the recliners in the Starboard Observation Deck, next to the bookshelves. The Commander was holding a datapad with her hand, and had more forming a small pile on the floor next to her.

"You really didn't think you could," said Sarah Williams from the other recliner. She was holding a 'real' book, that she put on her lap to reply to Shepard.

"Well..." said Melody letting the word trail off, "I was good with languages when I was training in the N7 program. But this is ridiculous, many words mean different things but just sound the same."

"Yeah, but people don't learn languages in days," insisted Sarah shaking her head slowly and smiling. She seemed to be comfortable in the position she was sitting on.

"No, but I hoped to at least get a feel of it," said Shepard. She put the datapad she was holding right on top of the pile she had next to her, and adopted a more straight position on her recliner.

"You're not giving up, are you?" Sarah said pointing at the pile with her finger. "I mean, just imagine how surprised he'll be. He'll drop his jaw..." she shook her head as if she was embarrassed, "mandible... Sorry, Shepard. I don't mean to be offensive."

"Don't worry," the Commander said smiling. "Mandible is fine, and if I know the guy, he'll make fun of my accent. But Commander Shepard doesn't give up," she paused and added, "I'll just take a break for today."

"Then... permission to ask a personal question," said the young Chief, also smiling.

"Granted," Shepard said nodding, her body language revealing a relaxed attitude, "but I don't promise a reply. I'll depend on what it is."

"Fair enough," Sarah sat a little forward on the recliner. "How did you fall in love with an alien? I mean, a lot of people think asari look a lot like us, only blue. I might not agree but I can see where they're coming from. But... a turian?"

"I guess I fell for him," the Commander started to explain gesturing with her hands, "because I already knew who he was. I trusted him, but I wouldn't have thought of being with him like that on the first Normandy. You could say that, with time, one thing led to the next... although I'm guilty of thinking that he has a sexy voice."

"Permission to disagree, Commander," said the younger woman chuckling. "I mean, I think it's great that you're happy, but I could never consider sexy anything in a man that's not human..." she interrupted herself. She lowered her head, and her eyes shone with deep sadness. "Look at me, talking about men as if I wasn't a widow."

"Sarah," said Melody in a soft voice, sitting a little forward, "I know you're in pain. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if I lost Garrus. But I'm sure that Thomas loved you and would have wanted you to find happiness..."

"One of the last things he told me was: 'If I never come back remember me with a smile'," the young Williams quoted. She grabbed the edges of her book with strength, as if holding to it. "He even added, 'Find a man who can give you the life I wanted you to have'. I told him to stop speaking nonsense, I didn't want to hear anything about it. I couldn't – I still can't – imagine a life with someone else."

"It's too soon," said Shepard softly.

"Does time really heal everything?" asked the young soldier, shaping her lips in a grim smile. Her eyes fixed directly on the eyes of Shepard. "Or it just makes us numb?"

"I can't imagine **you** being numb," said Melody reassuring. She was about to add something else, but she was interrupted by the voice of the pilot coming from the internal comm system of the ship.

"Commander, you should come here," Joker sounded serious.

"On my way," said Shepard in reply to Moreau, and then in a lower voice she addressed Sarah. "Coming?"

"Sure, I'll join you in a minute," replied the Chief. As Shepard was leaving the Starboard Observation Deck, she noticed from the corner of her eye that Sarah was putting away the datapads. The Commander had totally forgotten about not leaving that material on sight. She thought it was very considerate of Sarah to help her keep the surprise for Garrus.

Shepard joined Joker and EDI in the cockpit seconds later.

"What is it, Joker?" the Commander asked the pilot, standing behind his chair.

"We're picking a distress signal," informed Joker as he piloted the ship.

"It comes from the outer regions of our system of destination," completed EDI in her neutral, practical voice. "Scanners indicate that there is a dense asteroid field around the system. The signal comes from there."

"Stealth systems engaged, Commander," said Joker swiveling a little to face Shepard.

"How far are we?" asked Melody in a professional tone.

"Five hours to the origin of the signal," said the pilot. "It's not in our direct route."

"But we can't ignore it," she said shaking her head. Sarah was entering the cockpit at that moment. "It could be a trap, but we have to investigate. Joker, don't disengage the stealth systems. Approach all you can without endangering the Normandy in the asteroid field."

"I don't know who do you think you're talking to," Joker muttered in protest.

"I know," the Commander said patting his shoulder, "the best pilot in the entire Alliance Navy. But still, it could be a trap as I said, and I won't risk the Normandy. We'll go with the shuttle the rest of the way. Sarah," she said to the young soldier, "be ready to gear up, and tell Grunt."

Shepard left immediately after giving her orders. Four and a half hours later, she was standing in the cockpit, wearing her armor. Garrus, Grunt and Sarah were also there, looking out the window.

"I have a visual scan of the signal's origin, Shepard," said EDI, and without waiting for reply, she proceeded to display her results.

They could see what originated the signal. It was hard to understand at first, but a closer look revealed a large cruiser with an asteroid embedded in the middle. The cruiser looked severely damaged, but most pieces still held together somehow.

"It's a standard batarian cruiser model," said the AI. "The front part is still shielded and emitting energy."

"Amazing," commented Garrus in awe. "I don't think they'd want to waste the fuel to move something that big these days, so it must be there since the war."

"It seems plausible, given it's location," said EDI agreeing. "The debris of the mass relay are not too far away from the ship."

"Wait," said the Commander, sounding a little surprised. "This system used to have a relay?"

"Indeed, Shepard," replied EDI, and displayed an image of the bleak pieces that once used to shape a magnificent mass relay. Although broken, it was still recognizable, with its beautiful arms dangling from the circular end as if it had been beaten with a really large bat. The rings were missing. The debris were dark, reflecting only the light of the star that came dimmed and ghostly.

"That is... amazing," commented Sarah Williams in a voice just above a whisper. "And scary. What kind of force in the universe can just destroy all the mass relays and the Reapers at once?"

"What I'd care about right now," said Garrus Vakarian with his characteristic pragmatism, effectively breaking the mood of reverence that could be breathed inside the cockpit, "is how that ship still have shields after colliding with a huge asteroid, and if there are some nasty surprises waiting inside."

"If it's nasty, it dies," said Grunt matter-of-factly, punching his own hand.

"I don't like how close those asteroids look," said the Commander pointing out the window. "To the shuttle," she ordered Sarah and Grunt.

Shepard left the cockpit after the krogan and the young human. When she was almost in front of the airlock, she felt her turian grabbing her arm.

"I want to go too," said Garrus with his eyes fixed on the Commander. "I don't like this at all, and I want to make sure that..."

"Garrus, I need you here," Shepard said interrupting him, lightly putting a hand over his mouth. "If something endangers the ship, there's no one else I'd trust more with the main cannon."

"We won't fire with you out there," he said sounding angry, shaking his head.

"You will if you have to, that's an order," she said firmly, her commanding tone admitting no reply. "Try not to aim at my position, but even if you have no choice, I'll find a way to stay alive, I promise. I need to trust that you'll protect the Normandy. Promise me, Garrus Vakarian."

"I..." he started hesitantly, lowering his head. He took both her hands into his. "I promise, Melody," he finally said in a whisper.

She squeezed his hands for a second, and then left without adding another word or looking back.

The trip inside the shuttle was silent and plagued with memories for Commander Shepard. All the derelict ships she had explored came back to her mind. The fear of the unknown rushed through her veins, the adrenaline making her feel anxious and alive at the same time. Once more she felt forced to ask herself if she could ever live without it.

It couldn't be said that Steve Cortez wasn't a skilled pilot. He drove through a small hull opening, only big enough to let the shuttle cross, and landed on a narrow platform. Shepard ordered the pilot to wait for them outside the ship. They were in the unshielded part of the cruiser, and as soon as their feet made contact with the cold metal, they could hear the cracks of the plates through their bones.

Shepard signaled her squad to advance. They had made two steps when the shuttle took off, leaving them in the silence of the dead ship. They could speak through the comm in their helmets, but the Commander decided it was better to save the air. She pointed to a door that glowed unnaturally ahead of them, from the shield protecting it. There was no gravity and they couldn't count with the mass effect field generated by the shuttle, so they had to advance pushing themselves against nearby surfaces. It was a slow way to move. They had to be careful of not using too much force, otherwise they could find themselves floating just below the roof.

After what it seemed like an hour of crawling inside the ship, the group finally reached the door. Shepard signaled positions to each of them at the sides of the door, and started hacking it with her omni-tool. The mechanism turned from orange to green seconds later, and the glowing produced by the shield went out. She opened the door.

A strong gust came out of the opening, taking the Commander by surprise. If it hadn't been for the fast reaction of her squad mates, she could have been expelled to the opposite end of the large room they were in, near the point where they landed. Grunt and Sarah vigorously held themselves to the edges of the door with one hand, and with the other they pulled Shepard until she was safely at the other side. Melody pressed herself against the wall inside the shielded part of the ship, and helped her squad mates to cross. She punched the mechanism at one side of the door and it closed itself behind them, stopping the air flow. The shield was also restored. Tired, they paused for a minute to catch their breath and inspect their surroundings.

They were inside a large area, very dark and full of crates. The only lights came from some nearby consoles, and they were green. It all screamed hostility to the Commander, but she didn't know why she felt that way. She could see Grunt taking his hands to his head from the corner of her eye.

"Keep the helmet on," she ordered the krogan, and he swiftly complied. There was air inside the room, and they could feel the artificial gravity holding their feet to the ground, but she wasn't going to take any risks until she knew what was wrong.

She was about to turn on the light in her omni-tool, when a strange noise came from behind a pile of crates. Something moved. Something rushed towards them, something gray and that moved like... a thorian creeper?

The creature jumped in their direction, and its head blew in mid air. The Commander pointed her N7 Valkyrie to the next creature, and sent it screaming to the floor in two shots. Behind her, Sarah and Grunt also opened fire to the wave of creepers running to them. The things attacking them were naked, but they couldn't clearly distinguish their shape in the dim light.

When the silence finally set in, they noticed they had killed about twenty creatures. Shepard turned her flashlight on, and pushed a creature with her foot in order to twist it and see its face. The skin was definitely gray, just like the thorian creepers. But the face, although deformed, had once been unmistakably batarian.

"What the...?" she started saying but she interrupted herself when she heard another noise. She pointed her assault rifle and her light in that direction. Five more creatures were approaching, but they weren't running. Shepard decided not to shoot, and indicated her squad to wait, with a movement of her hand.

The five nude, disfigured, confused gray batarians came closer, twenty eyes fixed on the corpses of their companions on the floor.

"What happened here?" asked Shepard to the group of creatures, still holding her Valkyrie with her hands, ready to fire if needed.

The creatures did not reply. Instead, they knelt on the floor and started... eating. They made noises of satisfaction, as if they were having the most delicious food that could be found in the entire galaxy.

"Shall we put them out of their misery?" asked Sarah with a tone that mixed disgust and pity in equal parts.

"Yeah..." said the Commander looking away from the grim spectacle.

Five sounds of gunshot later, the small group started moving. They had to walk over the corpses of the strange creatures. Shepard pulled out the scanner Ysel'Voon had prepared for her, and turned it on. The device revealed biological contaminants all over the place, but specially inside the heads of the unfortunate gray beings on the floor that still had one over their shoulders.

"Something is affecting their brains," informed Shepard walking slowly ahead, all her senses focused in any threats they might encounter.

"Something like what?" asked Sarah, walking behind her Commander, gun in hand.

"If I knew that..." said Melody pressing her back against a pile of crates and peeking ahead with her weapon in front of her. It was clear, so she kept moving.

"Think they just triggered the distress signal believing it was something to eat?" asked Grunt. He seemed relaxed when compared to the two human soldiers. His hands firmly held his shotgun, but he walked as if he was just strolling through a park.

"That's a good question, Grunt," said the Commander appraisingly, "Let's move ahead and find the source."

"Now I'm hungry," commented the krogan, but his remark met no reply.

They reached at last the end of the large room, and found a door. The corridor behind it was clear. It had a lateral door, and another at the end. Shepard pointed at the lateral door, and Sarah stepped forward and opened it. Two creepers jumped at her, but they didn't last long.

The door led to a small room, where they could find other creepers on the floor. A few were almost skeletons, and what they had left of flesh was in an advanced state of decomposition. Shepard mentally thanked herself for giving the order to keep their helmets on, because she estimated the smell had to be intolerable. Closer inspection revealed however that one of the creepers was still alive. It moved slightly on the floor, half eaten. The thing was trying to patch with its hands the holes left in its stomach by the teeth of the other creepers. Overwhelmed by horror and pity, the Commander shot, blowing its head off.

"That was..." started Sarah, pointing at the now dead creature.

"Yeah, don't think about it," said Shepard shaking her head softly. She started inspecting the room, mostly to clear her head from what she just had seen.

There were other consoles emitting green light, and a few crates. Shepard opened them, and found parts of weapons and a couple of mods she had never seen before. The scanner revealed they were contaminated, but she knew the Normandy's airlock was equipped with a very strong decontamination system. The small device showed that whatever was invading the inside of the ship was already settling outside of their armors anyway, and the mods seemed useful. She took them.

She walked to the consoles at the end of the room, and activated them. The systems were in an estate of emergency because of the distress signal, but that worked in their advantage. On one of the screens, they could see a map of the ship, displaying the origin of the signal. It was on the lowest deck, the cargo bay.

"It seems we are here," said Shepard pointing at a small square on the map. "The elevator is there, next room," the Commander indicated with her finger. "It should take us straight to the origin of the signal. Let's go."

The three of them exited the room and headed back to the corridor, in the direction of the door at the end. They opened it, alert and with their weapons ready.

There was again the sound of the creatures eating. They couldn't count how many there were, but they weren't paying attention to the intruders.

"Easy, people," whispered Shepard, pointing with her head to the left, "go to the elevator."

Somehow they managed to sneak past a few consoles, and reached the elevator's door. The elevator itself didn't work. Alerted by the noise they had made when trying to call the lift, the creepers started getting up slowly and looked around.

"Of course," mumbled Shepard, getting ready to fight.

"There was a ventilation shaft on the map," said Sarah while she moved two steps away. Effortlessly she removed a panel from the wall, revealing a narrow passage that would barely allow the two female humans to get through.

"Grunt won't fit," observed Shepard when she reached the hole on the wall.

"Ha!" said the krogan holding his shotgun with both hands. "You go ahead, I'll meet you there. This will be fun!"

Shepard couldn't count how many creatures jumped to attack them. The two human soldiers covered each other to pass through the ventilation shaft. Meanwhile the krogan took a creeper from its feet, and beat its head to the floor until he smashed it. Then he started using the headless corpse as a blunt weapon.

"Wow," commented Sarah once they were inside the shaft. The Commander had placed the lid back in its position after they passed, and just as she thought, she noticed the creepers were too stupid to remove it and follow them through the ventilation system. "You have to admire krogan brutality."

"I didn't know you were so fond of violence, Sarah," said the Commander. They were both climbing down a ladder adjusted to the wall inside the ventilation shaft. Williams was a few steps below.

"Me neither," admitted the young Chief. "I guess war has a way of teaching stuff about yourself that you didn't know. But still, don't you wish you were strong enough to do what he just did?"

"I **am** strong enough to do that," protested the Commander, sounding sure of herself, "but in the time he killed one, I could have taken down five of them with my gun."

"You're right," said the young woman chuckling.

They reached the bottom of the tunnel and opened the lid to exit it. They found themselves in a large storage area, well lit and full of crates and boxes. The scanner indicated two living beings ahead, behind a large pile of crates. They weren't marked as biological contaminants. They walked ahead.

"Hello?" said Shepard before going around the pile of crates. A second later she emerged, with her weapon ready in her hands, to a large area that was mostly clear. She could see two batarians inside a large blue semi-sphere. It looked like a biotic field, but was probably being generated by a rectangular device on the center. Near the device there was a batarian sitting on the floor. The other batarian was standing to the other side of the box, holding a weapon. He was clearly terrified. "Did you send the distress signal?" the Commander asked lowering her weapon, but not putting it on her back yet.

"Yes... yes..." said the batarian seeming to relax a little. "But that was months ago. We didn't think... I didn't believe we would... that humans would..."

"What happened?" asked Shepard taking a few steps forward, stopping right outside the blue sphere of light. Sarah followed her.

The batarian that was speaking put his gun in its holster. Shepard also put her assault rifle on her back. She noticed Sarah behind her doing the same, but she was still alert, ready to attack if something happened.

"I am Captain Morguth Jarhad, X.O. of the Gorzidas," said the man regaining his composure. "That would be the cruiser you're standing on."

Shepard nodded and glanced around briefly before turning her gaze again to Captain Jarhad.

"Commander Melody Shepard," she introduced herself, "Alliance Navy."

Before she mentioned her name, the batarian had seemed ready to talk further and explain their situation. However, when he heard who was his rescuer, all his four eyes opened wide.

"Sh... Shepard?" he asked, unable to hide his surprise and a little fear in his voice. "But Balak said..." he shut his mouth without explaining what he meant.

"Balak is dead," informed the Commander with just a tint of irritation in her tone. "What did he say?"

"She knows," said the batarian from the floor, and for the first time Shepard noticed she was indeed a female. "She knows but she mustn't say, 903 mustn't speak..."

"Shut up, 903," said Jarhad looking at the woman on the floor.

"Yes, master," replied the batarian female lowering her head.

"903?" asked the Commander raising an elbow behind her helmet.

"We don't name our slaves," explained Jarhad looking at the Commander. "She was bought by Colonel Rod'boah, my C.O.. He didn't bother to change the number she already had on Krussa."

Shepard was familiar with the word Krussa, but it took her two seconds to place it. She had seen it written on a corner of the map that Grothan Pazness had sent her a couple of week ago. Her mind started working at full speed.

"You mean he bought this woman on a moon in this system called Krussa?" asked Shepard with her arms crossed over her chest. "And she had the number 903 there? Does that mean there were at least another 902 slaves on that moon?"

Jarhad was about to reply, but in that moment they heard a noise coming from the elevator's door. Sarah, Shepard and the batarian Captain all reached for their weapons while they watched the doors being forced open.

The metal shrieked, and a large krogan figure emerged from the opening. The two humans lowered their weapons.

"More are coming," informed Grunt, joining his Commander. "I think I got a little carried away, and..."

"Are there more survivors?" Shepard asked Jarhad, urgency becoming apparent in her voice.

"No, just the two of us," said the batarian, "but if you come inside our field, it will kill the parasites that you probably have over your armor right now."

Shepard signaled the krogan and the Service Chief to go inside the blue sphere, while she covered their retreat. Gray creatures were already emerging from the hole left on the metal doors by Grunt. The Commander stepped back inside the sphere. Jarhad took the rectangular device - that turned to have little wheels on the bottom - and started moving it towards a console. The protective spherical field moved with them.

"Can you open the cargo bay, Jarhad?" asked Shepard while shooting at the creatures gaining entrance to the room they were in.

"Yes," replied the batarian without stopping. The other batarian was holding herself to the field generator with her arms, and was being transported that way. In that moment Shepard noticed that one of her legs was badly hurt. "I assumed you might want just that, Commander. That's why we're walking to the console."

"Good," said Melody with one curt nod. "Cortez, cargo bay," she said contacting her pilot through the comm. "Pick us up."

"Roger that," said the voice of Steve over the comm.

More and more creatures emerged through the broken door. Shepard's squad kept firing, and Jarhad joined them when he was done operating the console. A large panel opened, revealing the space and the asteroid field outside. The shield was strong enough to prevent the air going out of the cargo bay. The human Commander pointed to the exit, and they advanced. The batarian Captain kept firing with one hand and moving the generator with the other.

Finally, they could see the shuttle arriving and going through the shield, protected by its own mass effect field. The group started walking in that direction.

"Wait," ordered Shepard, and they all stopped. She scanned each of them with the stick provided by Ysel. She checked the mods she had picked up, and then satisfied with the result she gave the scanner to Sarah to check on her.

"Clear, Shepard," informed Williams over the sounds of gunshot being produced by Grunt and Jarhad.

"Good," said Melody taking the scanner. "Get her inside the shuttle," she ordered pointing at 903 with her thumb.

Grunt took the wounded batarian effortlessly in his arms and got into the shuttle with her. Then Sarah got in, and finally Jarhad, while Shepard covered them. Once they were safely inside, the Commander jumped in and punched the wall to one side of the entrance, to signal Cortez that they were ready to go. The door closed, and the shuttle took off, leaving that ship of terror behind them.

As Steve Cortez was driving them back to the safety of the Normandy, Shepard sat in front of the male batarian, that had collapsed on a seat.

"You have a lot of things to explain, Captain Jarhad," she simply told him.


	39. Ch 39: A tale of terror

Chapter 39: A tale of terror

"I don't suppose you could give me some water first?" said Captain Jarhad leaning on the wall behind his seat in the shuttle. The batarian woman had been placed next to him by Grunt, and she laid her head on Jarhad's shoulder. "We were running out of filters, and we didn't want to risk infection so we started drinking less..."

"Yes, of course," said the Commander softening her tone. She realized it had been insensitive of her to just demand for explanations right away, before letting them catch their breath. Those two batarians had spent months trapped in that ship with mindless cannibal monsters. It was practically a miracle that they had kept their sanity, but probably Jarhad had to thank his military training for that. As for the woman, 903, she was a slave and probably had to endure a lot of abuse in her life already. "You'll drink when we get to the Normandy. You can rest now. There'll be plenty of time to talk before we reach Krussa."

As soon as Shepard said that they could rest, the two batarians started dozing off. The Commander got up and placed a hand on the wall inside the shuttle, looking at her squad.

"Thank you for bringing me, Shepard," said Grunt, clearly satisfied with the mission. For him, it had been like a visit to an amusement park. Shepard smiled to herself. In a sense, Urdnot Grunt was still a child, and she found him adorable sometimes.

"You're welcome, Grunt," said the Commander looking at the krogan. She then laid her eyes on the youngest of the Williams clan.

"You know, Shepard?" said Sarah looking at the tired batarians. "I'm glad we came." She shifted her gaze at Shepard. "I'm honored to serve under a C.O. for whom responding to a distress signal is not an option."

"Glad you think that way," Shepard said, and then walked over to Cortez to communicate with the Normandy.

When the shuttle entered the cargo bay of her ship, doctor Chakwas was there, ready to tend to the rescued batarians. Other Alliance soldiers holding their weapons waited too. It was standard protocol upon bringing anyone to the ship. Shepard let the doctor work, and went straight to the cockpit.

"Before we leave the asteroid field," said the Commander when she was behind Joker, "blast that ship. Now it became a deadly trap for anyone passing by."

"You think a lot of ships will come this way?" asked the Normandy's helmsman, but got everything ready to follow her orders. "I mean, is not like there's a lot of traffic these days..."

"The distress signal's still active," explained Shepard. "We didn't exactly have a lot of time to deactivate it, and who knows how much energy the ship has left. For all we know, it could be sending the signal for years."

"Got it," Joker said maneuvering the ship.

"And Joker?" added the Commander before heading out, "Set course for Krussa, but take your time to get there. I want to ask a few questions to our guests before we arrive."

After a shower, Melody dressed in the clothes she normally used inside her ship, and went to the Comm Room. She found Garrus and Tali in there, talking to each other.

"Did you tell your fleet about the asteroid field, Tali?" the Commander addressed the quarian.

"Not yet, Shepard," replied the young Admiral. "They're still far away anyway."

"I'll warn both fleets," announced the human taking a few steps forward, until she was right in front of the multi-node QEC. She noticed Garrus following her with his gaze, an undecipherable expression on his turian features.

When she was done warning the fleets about the danger ahead of them, she closed the comm and looked at her mate, with a hand on her waist.

"What is it, big guy?" she asked him raising an eyebrow.

"I was just telling Tali that I used to think of the Normandy as a regular safari tour," explained Garrus keeping a grave expression, "but now? We wouldn't be complete without two batarians in the med bay. Anyway, I'm glad those flesh eating creatures didn't bite you."

"_So that's it_," Shepard thought, finally realizing why Garrus had looked at her the way he did. "_The man's worried about me._"

"My armor was a little hard for them," said the Commander making a movement with her hand, as if dismissing a thought. "You worry too much."

"That's what I told him, that you would be just fine," stepped in Tali. "Though you can't say you didn't know her, Garrus. You were with her when she drove a Mako through a mass relay. If that didn't give you a clue, I don't know what could."

"Thank you, Tali," Melody said with an ambivalent tone. "I'll go check on our guests. See you guys later."

She walked to the med bay and entered. Jarhad and 903 were sitting on examining couches. The female's leg had been put in a splint and bandaged. Chakwas obviously had to cut part of the military pants the woman was wearing, in order to treat her. They each had a tray with food and water, and they were finishing eating. The soldiers that had been waiting when the shuttle arrived were now guarding the med bay.

"At ease," she said to the guards, and they lowered their weapons. "I don't think our new guests will be a problem."

"Even if we didn't worship you now for rescuing us," said Jarhad gulping some water, "we'd have to be crazy to try anything in your ship, and we aren't. We love life."

Shepard gestured to the soldiers, and they left the med bay. She took some steps towards 903.

"How are you holding up?" the Commander asked to the batarian female.

"Can she say?" she asked looking at the Captain, and he nodded. "Her leg hurts, but the human doctor has been good. Her leg has been hurting ever since she fell."

"She fell down the ventilation shaft while running away, and got wounded," explained Jarhad from his examining couch. "We had some medicine in the cargo bay, but I'm not a doctor..."

"What you did was enough to save her life," commented Chakwas from her desk. "You prevented an infection."

"Good," said the male batarian. He took another mouthful of his food.

"Human Commander Shepard is her new master?" asked 903 casually, drinking some water. "She never had a human master before."

"No," said Melody with a sharp movement of her hand. "There are no slaves on my ship. You're free, 903," after a second she added, "Actually, you should have a proper name. What name would you like?"

"She will have the name her new master orders," replied the woman, submissive.

"I'm not your master," insisted Shepard impatient, shaking her head. "You don't have masters anymore. You're free," she repeated.

"She won't understand that," commented Jarhad shrugging. "She was born a slave, and she was taught that's the only thing she can ever be. Being a slave is part of her identity. It would be like telling you that you can stop being human, Commander."

"Fine," said Shepard trying hard to open her mind and understand the batarian culture, and failing. She wasn't racist or anthropocentric for the most part, but slavery was a practice she was violently against. She could even understand indentured servitude, because the contracts were signed with the agreement of both parts, there were clauses protecting the life and health of the servant and they had a period of termination. What she couldn't understand was a sentient being claiming property of another, for life. "If you're not wounded," she said to Jarhad, pointing at the window in the med bay, "I think you should wait in the mess hall."

The Captain didn't say anything. He just offered her an understanding smile, and got up. He left the med bay, taking his tray with him.

"What were you saying about Balak?" Shepard asked 903 as soon as the other batarian was gone.

"She mustn't say," replied the woman shaking her head. "She hears a lot of things, but she cannot repeat them. She gets hit if she speaks."

"Nobody will hit you," said the Commander friendly raising a hand towards her. "I promise."

"Master Jarhad is good," commented 903, smiling. "He doesn't hit her. He didn't ask her to do what master Rod'boah made her do. Master Jarhad gave her the same food he was eating, from the boxes in the cargo bay. It was good food. She had never eaten something that good. This is good food too," she said pointing at her tray, that she had left over the examining couch. "Master Jarhad tried to heal her. Human doctor says he saved her life. She wants to live. But she won't live if she tells what she knows."

"I'll protect you," said Shepard trying to sound reassuring. She took another step towards the woman and lowered her voice. "I won't let anyone harm you, not even Jarhad. You have my word."

903 lowered her eyes, all four of them, and started rubbing her hands. She was obviously agitated. Her breathing was fast, and she seemed tense and ready to jump at any slight stimulus.

"She heard what the masters were saying about Balak," the batarian female started. "She had never met Balak but she knows that he's important. That he **was** important, if the human Commander spoke the truth."

"She did," said Shepard, not realizing that she was speaking like 903 until she heard Chakwas chuckling softly.

"Balak said," continued the batarian, "that he would help the humans and the turians and the asari and salarians, because the Reapers were killing all of us. First finish the Reaper threat, then end the life of Commander Shepard, if the Reapers didn't take care of that first." Shepard shook her head. After a pause, the batarian woman added, "So, Commander Shepard should take care of herself when the Reapers die, because 903 likes Commander Shepard."

That sentence caught Melody by surprise. It was then when she realized that those two people had no way of knowing what had happened.

"The Reapers are gone, 903," Shepard said softly. "They have been gone for months."

"Then... did Commander Shepard kill Balak?" asked the batarian in awe.

"No," said the Commander gesturing with her hands. "Long story. Let's just say that Balak died from politics. Things are gonna change among your people."

In that moment, Shepard realized that she didn't even heard from Balak before Pazness had mentioned him. The Alliance must have been protecting her that whole time, without telling her that she was being protected. They had a tendency to do that. Hackett had a tendency to do that.

"Oh, she understands," said the batarian. "903 has heard of people killing people because of politics. She hears a lot of things."

"And 903 is very clever," commented Chakwas from her seat.

"No!" protested the batarian female. "She's just a slave! How could she be clever?"

"You are, 903," said Shepard with half a smile on her face. "The people who told you you aren't were lying."

The batarian female lowered her head and didn't say anything, but a timid smile formed on her face.

"What can you tell me about Krussa?" asked the Commander. "Did you work there?"

"Yes, she did," replied the woman.

"And there were other 902 slaves in that base?" Shepard asked taking a lateral step towards the examining table.

"She can't say," the batarian said trembling.

"But there are other slaves, right?" insisted Melody. "Where?"

"She mustn't say," replied 903 gritting her teeth. "She can't say. If she says anything her head will explode. She must keep silent. She can't say! **She can't say!**" yelled the batarian, trembling like a leaf on the wind. She seemed about to collapse from stress.

"It's OK, 903," whispered Shepard placing a hand softly on her shoulder. "It's OK. Don't tell me. Try to relax and get some sleep." Looking at Chakwas, she added in a louder voice, "Take care of her, doctor."

"I will, Commander," replied Karin Chakwas as the C.O. of the Normandy was leaving the med bay.

Morguth Jarhad was sitting at one of the tables in the mess hall, but he got up as soon as he saw the Commander approaching him. He walked in her direction and stood before her.

"Tell me what happened," Shepard requested in a tone that she thought it was polite, but sounded more like a direct order.

"Well, I should start with the reason why we were on Krussa," said the batarian gesturing with his hands. He started walking back and forth in front of the Commander. "The Gorzidas was part of the fleet that Balak committed to defend the Crucible. We were waiting in the Tasale System for his orders, when the Reapers came."

"The Reapers are gone now," Shepard informed matter-of-factly. "The Crucible worked."

"You have no idea of how happy that makes me," he said, visibly touched. After a moment, he continued, "But you want to know what happened back then. Well, the Reapers invaded Tasale, and Colonel Rod'boah offered to cover the retreat of the rest of the batarian fleet. When we were hitting the relay, a Reaper's ray damaged our main engine. We needed to repair it, or the Gorzidas wasn't going to be of much use in the battle. I don't know where did the rest of the fleet go, but Rod'boah said he knew a moon where the engine could be repaired. That was the first time in my life I've ever heard of Krussa."

"Wait," said the Commander raising a hand, "did they actually repair your main engine on that moon?"

"Well, not on the moon itself," explained the batarian shrugging. He kept pacing before her. "The Gorzidas was repaired in orbit around Krussa, but meanwhile Rod'boah, myself and a few other officers landed on the moon. That was when the locals warned us about the parasites in the asteroid field we had just crossed."

"You did mention parasites on board of your ship," commented Shepard tilting her head to both sides alternatively.

"Anaerobic microorganisms, dormant on those asteroids." clarified Jarhad. "They get inside the brain, and change it. They turn brave soldiers into mindless cannibals. You've seen it yourself, Commander." She nodded. After a brief pause, he continued, "But let me go back to the progress of events that led to you having to rescue us from the Gorzidas. As I was saying, the locals warned us about the parasites, and gave Rod'boah some protocols to safely navigate the asteroid field. Then they invited us to have some drinks, because we had to wait for the repairs to be finished anyway." He raised a hand as if he was anticipating a protest from Shepard, and added, "Not that we would get drunk or anything, we were on duty. We're professionals. But one ale never killed a soldier, did it?"

"I don't think it did, no," agreed the human. She realized that she liked this batarian, because he seemed to have a strong sense of honor and duty.

"Anyway," Jarhad kept saying, "we were drinking and having a friendly talk with the people from the base, when their leader brought forward 903 and asked my C.O. if he wanted to buy her. Rod'boah was enthusiastic about having her, and I can relate because... well, just look at her! She has to be about the most beautiful woman in the entire galaxy." Shepard didn't agree with that, in fact she had trouble finding anything beautiful or even moderately attractive about the physical appearance of the batarians, but of course she wouldn't say that to him. Fortunately, he kept talking without insisting on the matter. "However, the seller seemed a little too pushy, as if he wanted to get rid of her. I told Rod'boah about it, but he wouldn't listen. He bought her and a minute later he disappeared with her in the shuttle. I had to call the Gorzidas to send the shuttle back to pick the rest of us. Of course, now I understand why the owner wanted to get rid of 903. She's one rebellious slave, that one," he said pointing at the med bay. "I don't think I've ever seen a slave so smart or brave."

"Stop calling her slave," said Shepard irritated. "There are no slaves on my ship."

"Sorry, Commander," apologized Jarhad lowering his head a bit.

"So, I assume that when you wanted to leave the system," she guessed massaging the back of her neck, "you hit the asteroid."

"Yes, but that was because Rod'boah wouldn't care to follow the safety protocols we were given," explained the batarian, snorting softly. "He was a good leader, but he was also too proud and he didn't tolerate that anyone would tell him what to do. He kept saying that we had successfully navigated the field on our way to Krussa, and that we didn't need their protocols to reach the relay. And then the asteroid hit us," he paused. "We requested help from Krussa, but they were too afraid of the parasites to aid us. We couldn't contact the rest of the fleet, so I sent the distress signal. Then we shielded part of the ship, and tried to isolate the infection with lock gates, but some crew members started getting sick. Even after quarantining them, the infection kept advancing. We were all on edge, and Rod'boah started venting his frustration on 903. I've never seen a man being so cruel to a sl... to a woman," he quickly corrected himself.

"And you had enough of that," completed Shepard shifting her weight to one leg.

"No, she did," he said grinning. "She took a pan and smashed it on his head. He drew a gun. And... yes, that was when **I** had enough. I took her by the waist, and we ran. That's how we became fugitives in our own ship, and how she wounded her leg. But that's what saved our lives, looking back, because I found the shield generator. We moved through the vent system for some time. It was too dangerous to use the escape pods, we could have hit another asteroid. We tried to escape using the shuttle, but it was damaged. I believe Rod'boah is responsible for that. He was the type of men who would make sure we wouldn't escape, so he could punish us himself," he paused, shaking his head. "Eventually the whole ship was infected, and that was when we moved to the cargo bay, where you found us."

"Then, there's nothing else you could tell me about Krussa?" asked Shepard crossing her arms. "Like, why do they have slaves there, or how many? Or how comes they were prepared to repair a cruiser?"

"Sorry, Commander, I told you everything I know," said the batarian shaking his head slowly, as if he was sad.

"Come with me, then," she ordered. "I will show you a map, and I want you to tell me if you recognize the place."

Samantha Traynor seemed surprised to see a batarian next to the Commander, examining something on her private terminal in the CIC.


End file.
